WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2020
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »We are still talking about what to do for DH's 75th birthday in October. A new brochure for Saga dropped through the letter box this morning. We are tempted by a cruise to Greece. I keep telling him it's his birthday, his choice, but he doesn't really get it.
He has been to Greece many times, but I have never been. But it's not my birthday. 
It's quite expensive, even for the cheapest cabin, as it's a long trip. But I'm not going to think about that. :noway: One slight problem is that it will be a new ship which we don't know. This would be its fourth voyage.
Discussion , decision.
The alternative is a flight to France for several days or a week. Or anything he wants, but he doesn't know what he wants. :sad:
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxxKetoneKaren wrote: »Heather
Traveling makes your husband anxious, regardless of how much fun the trip is, sometimes to the point that he has a meltdown beforehand. He doesn't completely love dancing. He loves you & doesn't want to disappoint you. But it's HIS birthday. He likes cricket. He likes his men friends and (I think) his daughter. He likes the grandchildren. He likes you. He likes your cooking. What else does he like?
Karen in Virginia, looking forward to a Lilliana day!!!
I wondered about this too.
If he feels uncertain about travel, does his 75th birthday celebration have to include travel?
What about accompanying him to one of his multi-day cricket matches? Or if you two really want to include travel, a cricket match in another country. I think the next Ashes are here in Australia ... maybe he wants to save up and come see them here?
My husband likes travelling, and I'll almost always include some travel in my birthday plans, but for his 60th, what he wanted was to have dinner in the revolving restaurant at the top of the tallest building in the city. He'd never done that before and wanted to do it. So we did! .......... and I discovered Lava Cake which I've since learned how to make.
So ... maybe take travel off the table and see if that makes the decision easier.
M in Oz
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I was going to go to my painting class yesterday but I almost slipped and fell from the conditions around our house. We were in the 40's on Sunday and high 20's yesterday. All the puddles froze. I got caught up on some things around the house.
Working in a 5th grade today.
Have a lovely day! Margaret 5 -
Ahhh, got an article and a poem posted, which is my goal for this week, to get one of each completed.
TL;DR, had a tie-up with my boss, venting about it:Yesterday wrecked my equilibrium, as I got into a set-to with my new boss, even though we'd reached some form of detente last week. She threw four emails at me in quick succession, not just telling me I had to do something, but how to do it, and that I was doing one of them wrong (I wasn't, I had informed her months prior of the new procedure, and she was fine with it).
Not to put too fine a point on it, I had a fit and fell in it. I called her up, literally said, "You are trying to micromanage my work, and that's unacceptable." While necessary messaging, and truthful, I could have said it couched in less negative terms. I know how to use words on paper and on screen, but apparently when they're about to fall out of my mouth, they have minds of their own.
At the personal level, I actually like her, as there's a pure dedication to our mission that I find admirable. Unfortunately, she has zero communication skills, and even though I know she means well, her need to tell me how to do my work makes me completely, foaming-at-the-mouth, my-cheese-just-fell-off-my-cracker, livid.
She was literally told when she got me in the shuffle that I did not need managing, and that came from her boss. I know my job, I don't need her to tell me how to do it. At all. And she cannot resist. And I trip over it and get PO'd. *sigh* Over and over and over again. She sent me an email later apologizing for "violating my boundaries." Not the words I would have used, but it's better than nothing.
Anyway, spilt milk and all that, can't take it back now. The boiling anger had me pacing long before and well after the phone call, making it impossible for me to settle back down to trying to create the eight grants which need writing before next week. So, lost most of the day. And today, I have to be in town at a 2-hour United Way meeting. Gah, with travel time, another half-day lost.
There, I have vented. If you read it, thank you. I'll get over myself here shortly, as I'm getting in the shower, and I'm washing all this mess right out of my hair!
Thanks for letting me vent.
Love y'all!
Lisa in AR7 -
Pip- Thieves-GRRRRR! We now have a wall of shame and I blast pictures on Facebook. Seems to have slowed them down for now! ((Hugs))
Rvrita- I feel you! Omg! One birthday weekend and my scale is up 3.5 pounds! smh. We can do this!
Kelly- yes, me too on too much sugar. Just messes with my belly. Especially if mixed with alcohol.
On page 9. Yesterday was blessed with sunshine for my birthday and 60 degrees! So much love too!
My fitbit one died! The problem with my fitbit on my wrist is it doesn't count steps if I am carrying or pushing something! So frustrating. Hoping can reset the One!
Heading to work!
Kylia in rainy Ohio4 -
Murder when u forget your headphones!6
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(((Lisa)))
I have a few 10 on the scale of 1-10 over the past eight months. I have repeated watched as the systems because there is more than one involved contribute to making my son's condition worse.
My voice is swallowed up and if they are listening there is nothing they can do but make sure I know they are dotting their "i's" and crossing their "t's" so they can not be held at fault.
Like "M" my life will be at a 7 on the stress meter because of this.
My reaction is to do as much as I can to add to my backpack and guard my time. I still will take time for those who are in need like my friend who was in the accident ,visiting a terminally ill former colleague, and listening to my choir friend who lost a niece and husband is unemployed.
The reason I am sharing is I know what it like to be pushed past the breaking point. I know that I need to be as pro active as I can so I have fewer day to day frustrations to add to my already full plate.
Sleep, exercise, getting in nature, listening to calming music, trying to eat right, and walking away when I am at a ten. Do I do these things always with grace. NOO! I learned to shrug and to pick myself up and think how I got to that ten and what is in my power to try not to reach that state again. Serenity prayer....
I believe staying calm when someone pushes your buttons is one of the hardest things to do.
I still try to remember Mark Twain give yourself three days to cool off. If it is still a problem you will be in a better frame of mind to do something about it. Also learning to say NOOOOO. What part of No do you not understand helps me to.
I need to get ready for work...
Love you friends... Margaret
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Thank you, Margaret. Many hugs back to you.
Lisa in AR, headed into town.
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LisaI wonder why your boss's boss felt the need to tell your boss you do not need managing. She must have known that your new boss is a micromanager & saw the writing on the wall. I have a similar reaction to micromanagement. I think, for me, it's because it seems as if it reflects unfairly on my abilities, knowledge, and skill levels; that I need guidance and instruction from someone smarter. If my knowledge & skill set are superior to the person instructing me, it enrages me. The only thing that helps me is telling myself this has nothing to do with me at all. It's all about the boss's need to control, micromanage, cross t's & dot i's, and in fact, probably has a lot to do with the boss's need to reduce her own anxiety with the busywork of managing someone who doesn't need to be managed. Micromanaging is one way that OCD managers temporarily relieve anxiety. She probably literally can't help herself. At least not consistently. (((Hugs)))
Margaret Oh no! I hope you weren't injured when you fell! (((Hugs)))
>>>
I have never been so glad to be wrong in my entire life. My partner is shuffling about in her walking boot & walker without Achilles heel pain. No more purple fiberglass cast. No more painter's tape, trash bags, & Press N Seal to keep the cast dry in the shower! We had to go for a doppler to rule out a calf DVT last night after her Orthopedist visit. Clean bill of health, no clots. We are both thrilled. Onward!
Lilly Bell will be here in less than an hour! So excited.
Karen in Virginia12 -
Caught up!
Someone said that one of the great things about this group of ladies is that by sharing, you find out you aren't alone in your experiences. That is liberating for me! So please cent, cry, share away!
Lisa- my husband micromanages-rrrr! It isn't like I just started working with him yesterday. It has been almost 22 years. I think I've got this! Hugs!
Margaret- thank you for the advice on preparing our backpacks.
Two days of warmth and sunshine! Aww! Happy Kylia! Migraine today
Two storm fronts colliding today. Rain followed by snow. 😪 rain/snow in forecast for next 10 days. It is February in Ohio.
If to get some work done.
Kylia drinking water and trying to stay dry in Ohio
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Jake's colonoscopy went well yesterday. The report from the doctor was good. It snowed all morning and when we came out of the hospital, Jake said, "Oh, it's snowing, I can drive". I did great driving home in the snow and he did great only making "loving suggestions" three times. He slept the rest of the day. Barbie in NW WA 10
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Hugs to all who need them and prayers!
Karen VA ~ Lilliana is so very tiny and cute!
Lisa ~ Sorry you had to go through the trauma your boss brought on. When I was teaching, we had to be observed at least once a year and they always had to come up with something I was doing wrong. I think it was to justify that they were doing their job.
Margaret ~ You have been through so much with your son and have been around some folks near you that are suffering. I think you have come up with some very good ways to keep your sanity.
Carol in GA4 -
Pip: I was going to a 24 hour fitness gym for a while when I was still working. It is a great option for people who need to exercise and also be at work on time. Before that I tried working out at the gym evenings, but by then I was too tired to get the workout I needed. After I retired I didn’t need to worry about the morning commute, and I joined the fitness club I’ve been going ever since.
I’m glad you got the okay to bring your bike inside.
Terri Richards: Congrats on the sleep and the weight loss. WTG!!! I love the Dust if you Must poem. :flowerforyou:
Lisa: Vent any time you need to. I hope your new boss learns to trust your skills and to communicate with you better.
We had an appointment with our financial advisor scheduled for this morning, but DH is not feeling well enough to go. I called in to cancel but was transferred to who knows where. I’ll call in again in a little while.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
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Kelly – love the milk jug igloo!
Lisa – sorry for the issues with your boss. I have a co-worker who thinks she has to leave step-by-step instructions for me when she goes on vacation (we do a lot of the same jobs). I’ve been here, doing this job, for more than 13 years – I think I can handle it.
Karen in VA – so glad to hear your partner is doing well.
Crazy weather here this week – although not as drastic as Machka’s. Near record temps in the 70’s the last 2 days, now up to 3” of snow predicted for tomorrow. Winter in the Midwest.
I just had an interesting conversation with my boss and her boss. They’re thinking about creating a new position for me (someone turned in their resignation yesterday which is what led to this). It would be a shifting of duties, a little more responsibility and possibly a little more pay. They have to go through the chain of command to get this all approved, but if it goes through it will take some of the boring, everyday things that I do now off my desk and I’d be learning some new stuff. I hope they can make it work.
You know, it felt like 2020 started off on the wrong foot with DBIL in the hospital, my DD’s car accident and some financial issues, but things seem to be turning around. DBIL is out of the hospital (in rehab but doing well), DD bought a car and got a better job, DH got a decent raise at work and now this possibility for me. Makes me a little nervous though – I’ve always been a more glass-half-empty kind of person so part of me is just waiting for the “crash”. I’m trying to be optimistic but past experience makes that difficult at times.
JanetO – eastern MO
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Had lots to say then mind went blank. Loved the bedroom pic.Glad your Partners foot has no clots. So much more. Foggy brain today.
Skipping my weight in. Eating right plus exercise then weigh tomorrow.
Amber Tx4 -
Hi all,
Regarding DH, he's so used to thinking about what I want that he doesn't know what he wants! Drives me a bit nuts! We will no doubt have a birthday tea sometime with the grandchildren, whatever else we do. 
Not the cricket season, so that's out. Long haul is out for the reasons Karen mentioned. We've been talking about a quick Europe hop for ages, so I was trying to encourage him to think of HIS preference. I threw Vienna in there as I know it's somewhere he wants to see, but he said, "but you've already been there." :sad: He doesn't now get nervous about cruises, so that's why we discussed that.
If he wants to stay home I'm fine with that, but we do often go somewhere in October as it's both our birthdays. Nice weather for a city break. He is a man of few wants, apart from his cricket and the football on the TV.
Our singing today was fabulous and thoroughly enjoyed by both of us. Our classical was Handel.
Hairy Bikers' chicken tonight. With brussel sprouts.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx4 -
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Wow Holy cow.. just one pill.and a small dose at that.. not going to take that again....took it last night.slept almost 10 hrs, got up and took Dan to work and got Alfie out and then came home and went back to bed and slept another 2 1/2 hrs .I just called the Drs and told them I will not keep taking that.No way..
Hopefully they have something that makes you less drowsy..4 -
Allie: Sorry to hear that your sleep prescription was not what you need. I know you're a tea drinker. It occurs to me to wonder whether this is black tea or herbal tea. Black tea usually has loads of caffeine—great to kick off a busy day. There are some lovely teas without caffeine. One of them is Celestial Seasonings SleepyTime Tea and it is nice to have in the evening. It doesn't result in sleep problems for me. I also like their caffeine free Peppermint Tea. I know you need to talk to your DR about the prescription situation. Good luck getting things set up for your best health.
Katla3 -
Grandmallie- my goodness that’s not normal they have to prescribe something else!
Sleepy time tea works for my Daughter. Melatonin think it’s called works too for some.
Amber Tx2 -
Four days into February with 12 pages! ... ackk! But I'm caught up!
Barbie ... thanks for keeping this group of chatter bugs going!
Kelly ... love the igloo house
Terri ... love the bedroom design
Lisa ... I'm sorry for your work troubles ... but I really liked your rant! ... "cheese fell of the cracker" ... lol.
NY Karen ... MRIs always seem to show us something that was previously unknown. Hope it's nothing serious.
Margaret ... I so admire the way you handle your life
So a salesman for a local fence company just left. The fence around our pool has deteriorated beyond repair and needs replaced. As I've been having nightmares about a child accidentally getting into the area, it needs to be done asap. This is going to be so expensive ...
I stayed home from work today with some kind of digestive bug ... I think. It could have been from being so upset yesterday after doing our taxes.We took a distribution from our 401K in preparation for my husband's retirement in 12 months (no penalty) ... paying off some large debt, etc. Although we were prepared for the federal taxes and have most of the federal amount due set aside ... we were given poor ... change that to no advice ... about the state tax. None was taken out! I am still in shock with how much we owe between the federal and state. We are not wealthy people and this is crazy! Really, we were just stupid in forgetting this. Arghh.
I have 20 goals for 2020 and while I certainly have not been perfect, I did manage some success with the daily ones. I ended January somewhere between 2 and 6 pounds lighter. The scale has been fluctuating wildly so it's hard to tell, but my clothes are looser and I was able to wear a dressy sweater to church on Sunday that I haven't been able to wear all winter.
February goals are the same with more attention to some of the weekly/monthly goals I have listed.
Beth near Buffalo
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