WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2020
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Storm still blowing.
Lots of rain lashing the windows too.
I did 300 bonus calories on the rower after lunch. Tired now. :laugh:
New Endeavour tonight.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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My ex was my best friend in the early years. Then he turned nasty and that was the end of that.
I don't go to other people's houses much, I am more of a restaurant person. But when I do I often bring a bottle of wine or something.
We have Alexa in a Dot, which isn't listening all the time. You have to touch it to wake it up. It has a base that plugs in, but it only works on the wifi, not in the car.
Interesting about night driving glasses. I already have four pair of glasses, but if it would help me drive, it would be great. Thanks for the idea!
Annie in Delaware3 -
I am like Lisa. I don't go to dinner parties and I don't invite people to my house to eat. In 2018 we invited three neighbors to share our Thanksgiving dinner with us and that was the last time anyone but us ate food in our house. We don't accept invitations to eat at anyone else's house. We sometimes meet friends at a restaurant. When I go to an event that includes a potluck meal, I don't bring anything and I don't eat any of the food that is served. About ten years ago we had dinner in a restaurant with a couple we had known for awhile. She said that she never invites anyone to eat at their house because "they wouldn't want to eat what I serve". He had serious health issues and had many restrictions on what he could eat and she kept an eating disorder at bay by eating only specific foods and weighing and measuring everything she ate. She carried a small food scale with her even to restaurants. My husband is the person I like to be with more than anyone. I like to be alone and I like to be with him and occasionally I like to be with other people. I have several women friends with whom I like to spend time either on a walk or on the phone, but I can't imagine spending a whole day or weekend with any of them. The concept of "best" is difficult for me. I can narrow my choices to several but never to one "best" or "favorite". I have learned that what's fun for me may not be fun for someone else, and vice versa. I read about so many things that you all do and am so grateful that I don't have to do those things and I'm sure that many of you read about my days filled with walking dogs, dance classes, and riding my exercise bike while watching figure skating on TV and are grateful that your life is not like mine. Yesterday I had to be at an early meeting that required sitting for several hours, so I got up super extra early to allow for two and half hours of dog walking in the dark with the beautiful full moon in a clear sky.
Barbie from beautiful NW WA
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Did a Leslie Sansone DVD today at the clubhouse. The plan for tomorrow is to take the Next Level class – whatever that is. Guess we shall find out!
Katla – I don’t even have an iPhone!! Well, the reason is because vince doesn’t like apple products. So I have an android. The reason he doesn’t like apple products is because he likes to change things and have them do what he wants them to do and many times apple won’t let you change something.
Heather – many people don’t take something with them when invited to eat at someone else’s house and I honestly doubt my cousin is a bad cook. Bringing something is just me. Also, when people leave my house, I almost always give them something to take home with them (this way I have fewer leftovers to tempt me too). That’s just the way I was brought up. “Never go somewhere emptyhanded and never let someone leave emptyhanded”. I don’t really care for someone bringing flowers to my house. Really, there isn’t a place to put them where the cats won’t get at them. Unless, they’re out of the way and that defeats the purpose of them. Plus, I don’t want to put them on the table, usually there’s too much food and I need the room for food, not flowers. Also, I want people to see each other and not have to look around a flower arrangement. Depending circumstances depends on what I’ll bring. Like to go see her is over an hour’s drive. Plus, I don’t have all the things here so I’ll take a dessert which I know won’t go bad on the drive up there and that I can make. I just have this “thing” about taking a store bought thing. But, again, that’s me.
I never knew about driving night glasses, either! Thanks, Rori.
Karen VA – thanks for the suggestions of things to bring. I never thought of bringing a loaf of bread! Maybe I should get a bread machine. Unfortunately, I got rid of my old one, maybe I should get a new one.
Barbara – After FIL retired, he and MIL moved to FL. FIL passed away and MIL sold her house. Then she bought this condo in the same town. She got to where she wasn’t eating properly and was passing out but she didn’t want to leave FL. So she went into an assisted living place in this town. Only thing was that she really wanted us to be here for her. At the time we just couldn’t. Vince was working, the kids had school, etc. So we moved her up to PA (where we were living at the time). When she passed away, we inherited this condo (probably about 15 years ago). Many times (especially after getting the tax bill or the condo assoc. fees) Vince is tempted to sell it but I really don’t want to. To me, it’s just so relaxing. Plus, we can bring the cats. I do wish we could stay longer, but we do have things that need to be done at home. Yard work, cutting grass, then Vince is BIG TIME into decorating for the holidays. This seems to be a good time to come down. Next I just would like to come in the middle of Jan. Well, I got him from 3 weeks last year to about 5 this year.
Lisa AR – love how you refer to your daughters first hubby….lol
M – Vince feels the same way you do about an Alexa etc. Probably because he worked in IT for 23 year and has the same concerns as you about security etc.
KJ – plants die at my house, too. If someone gives me a plant, I usually try to think of who I can give it to. So much more humane for the plant….lol
Looks like we’ll be going to WalMart. Need to get things for the pot luck here at the condo this Fri. Need to defrost the shrimp which is why I’m buying it now.
Michele in sunny FL
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Soup is done.
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So here's my question ... coming from the perspective of marrying my best friend ... why would you marry a guy with the intention of living with him for years to come if he wasn't your best friend? Or at least a very good friend?
Because I wanted a husband - the true difference from me, yin to my yang, a man who wanted to share his life with me... equal partners, madly and romantically in love when we began, the same love that's changed into an amazing support and encouragement, joy and peaceful silence together, shared goals for the rest of our lives, and still a soaring heart when he smiles, indeed, when he walks into a room. And I watch him light up in exactly the same way--we bring that to each other.
Unlike my best friend, who I talk to about everything from menopause to poop, and who's part of my life in very different ways.
Maybe it's just all a matter of how you define your husband and your best friend. I need them both, and can't imagine my life without either of them, but my identification of that need does not reside in the same person for me.
Off to town to do some shopping,
Love,
Lisa in AR8 -
Machka- Your question has taken some thought......I have been asked before why we got married.....He still makes my heart flip and toes curl.
In May, we will have been a couple for 26 yrs. In August, we will have been married for 11 years. I have questioned whether or not we would still be together if not for a series of events. What if he hadn't lost his eyesight when we had only been together for a year......What if his father hadn't died 3 years later.....What if we didn't work together? We married for security for both of us. Our lives are so entwined that the legalities not married would be awful if something happened to either of us. I love him with all my heart. I like him most of the time. Since we are together 24/7, I look forward to breaks with friends. He is much more attentive when we have those breaks as well. He was a verified bachelor until we met, with no plans to marry or have kids. He adores my girls and their families.
So no I didn't marry my best friend, but we enjoy each other's company most of the time. I love the life we lead. I like most of his friends. I wish we would travel more, but his lack of eye sight makes that really scary for him. Life is about concessions. I look forward to the times he is willing to go out of his comfort zone. I have learned to be understanding when he isn't able to do so.
Does this make some sense?
Kylia getting ready to play pool with Grandson4 -
Host/hostess gifts - I usually bring wine or beer; sometimes home-brew. I have brought chocolates in the past as well. We really don’t get invited over often anymore. Our city is just too spread out and traffic is too dense.
We also have a great patio for outdoor events, but we haven’t had anyone over in a while. The weather has been unpleasant when we have time or something else is going on.
Friends - I find it very difficult to meet people with whom I “click.” So, I’ve become quite “hermit-like” as a result. I’m perfectly happy doing things alone or just staying home. I tried group things over the years and I just don’t seem to have that immediate bond with anyone like in my 20s.
My mom, me, and sisters are very close, but I don’t like bothering them with my day to day drama, being so far away. Sometimes I just need someone I can call and ask if I can come over, share a bottle of wine and have a good chat or cry. I haven’t really had that in decades.
I do enjoy spending time with the mister as often as it makes sense, but sometimes I need my space too. I don’t share, nor do I want to share, all my secrets with him.
So, I spend a lot of time alone, but not lonely. Sometimes at home. Sometimes sitting at a bar and chatting with others who are just there for a drink.
The most lonely I do feel is when we are in some sort of tiff/argument (like now). That’s when I need someone to “check” me to make sure I am not being totally out of line.
Tina in CA8 -
taking a break from cleaning.. I have figured that I am turning into my dad, a paper pack rat.. and I swore I would never do that... but I have found that clutter and chaos are part of the stressors that have attributed to whats going on with me..
talking about best friends and husbands.
I have a best friend I grew up with she lives in Willmington,N.C. but her kids live here, so I get to see her a bit .but I have always been a friend to alot of people, and alot of people are friends with me, especially the ones I grew up with. there were a few bullies and luckly they moved away, so my house was the hang out and we had a blast.
Neither of my husbands were best friends. I adored them both in different ways,
but after the last divorce I have found that I don't need a man in my life, I can do as I please ,go where I want to, and even though the divorce was rough we have remained friends and I am friends with his girlfriend, and I have a built in puppy sitter and they have one too.. it works for us
I will enjoy my carmel apple tea and then get back at it... will be nice to get into clean sheets tonight8 -
Iiiiii0
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Rori: Congratulations on being able to put your nose on your knees! WTG!!!
I wonder about how your foot is broken. I’ve had a broken toe in the past and that was bad enough to motivate me to try to avoid doing it again. I hope your foot heals quickly. :flowerforyou:
Heather: We haven’t had guests here for a meal in quite a while. We occasionally meet friends at a restaurant. Since DH has been put on a wheat free FODMAP diet, we have had to make many adjustments. I still eat wheat bread but he doesn’t. The FODMAP bread is not very good in my opinion, I miss the sourdough bread that I used to make. I make brown rice sourdough pancakes these days. They’re tasty and nutritious, but don’t have gluten so they’re pretty fragile. There is one variety of corn-based biscuits at the grocery store that I like well enough to eat once in a while. :ohwell:
Terri: I think your DH is wise to avoid driving in nasty weather. Being safe and warm in a cozy home seems like a grand idea.
Regarding Best Friends—my husband is my best friend. We’ll be celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary later this year, Our actual anniversary date is in March, but we’ve decided to delay the celebration until summer when our kids will be available. We have MANY summer birthdays in our family. We hope to have birthday and anniversary celebrations all at once.
If I've done my math correctly, today is my 2,674th day on MFP. That is just over 7 years. I am so happy that I found MFP and all of you. You enrich my life.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
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Heather - I was raised to offer to bring something for a meal at a friends house, either a dessert or salad. Or like you suggested wine. Like you, I would be very upset if someone brought something because they were scared they wouldn't eat what I served. I am a very fussy eater and I "fake it, til I make it" if I run into the situation that i am being served something I don't like, then I get take out on the way home. Anyone that invites me for dinner or lunch knows me well enough to accommodate most times.
Karen in VA - On Friday night the moon was bright here, not as bright as last night. When I was taking my Grands home after watching them for a couple of hours we stepped outside and Michaela said, "its a full moon, Oh hello full moon I missed you". She almost lost her little mind last night seeing the actual full moon.
Lisa - I am with you, my dearest best friend and I met on the first day of Grade 2 and celebrating our 45th year this Fall. We have seen each other through numerous boyfriends, child raising, heartbreak of loss and so much more. She was by my side when I buried my grandparents and my Dad as my husband couldn't be there with me. I love my husband dearly, but there are still things she knows about me that he doesn't and won't. I miss her tremendously as we have not lived in the same province except for one year since we turned 18. We still communicate regularly, but we can't get out for a coffee together or anything.
Our eldest daughters have the other's middle names. I am Tracey Dawn, her daughter is Sarah Lin-Dawn, she is Cheryle Marie, my daughter is Lauryn Elizabeth Marie.
Rodger and I are friends but not as close as we used to be I don't think.
Machka - for years Rodger was one of my best friends, things have changed over the years and I miss it. He still makes my toes curl and my heart soar as Kylia said, but I don't know if he feels the same for me anymore. Because of this we aren't as close as we used to be and I don't trust being totally free anymore to say whatever I feel at the moment. Like you and your husband we were friends for a long time before we became romantically involved. We met when I was 13 and married at 18. We will be married 33 years in June and for the first time in too many years to count I don't doubt that we will remain.
The grands did not sleep well last night and were up early this morning. They decided last night that we would have french toast and bacon for breakfast, but this morning Michaela also asked for eggs. I told her that was a big breakfast for a little girl. She replied, "whose a little girl, I a big girl" She had an egg for breakfast as well and has since eaten an orange and a slice of leftover pizza. I think she is having a growth spurt.
Tracey in Edmonton5 -
Yesterday I said I would share a photo of the view from my Brother’s porch. The other house in the photo was our parents house. It has been torn down since I took this photo in 2016. I haven’t been home since it was demolished and I’m not looking forward to seeing the empty spot when I go. This was the house I grew up in, my Grandfather was born in it. Notice the deer in the one picture.
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(((Snowflake)))1
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Tracey - I feel for you. In 1994 I called an end to a marriage with a husband that I loved, but who I had somehow lost touch with. We were depressed in each other's presence. He was and is a nice man. We had lots of marriage therapy, went on marriage courses etc, but in the end called it a day. I grieved intensely for four years, even though I was the main instigator. I saw it as a terrible bereavement. I met him the day before my 18th birthday on my first day at university and we married when I graduated at 20.
We took four years for the divorce to go through as it was all so hard and then everything went even more pear shaped with a hysterectomy and gall bladder surgery thrown into the mix. I was living with my younger son and he took frequent trips back from university because he was worried about me.
After being totally on my own for over three years, then several painful false starts I met DH on a dating website.
Things utterly changed after that.
You all know how much I enjoy my life and he is a huge part of that. I am a very lucky woman. I do fear for myself if something happens to him. He is such a big part of my happiness. Even now, after nearly 17 years together it still feels magical and as if we are newly weds. Most of the time. :laugh:
I was 53 when I met him. 54 when we got married. I am now 70. He is 74.
My ex is married with teenage children. Life is strange. I more often dream of my ex and his and my parents than I do of my DH. I still like my ex, though I rarely see him as he lives in Glasgow.
We did make a horrible, scrambled mess of our marriage, but we didn't have a guide book.
I'm glad I now know better.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »Rebecca - have you and your son seen the new show on called LEGO Masters? My Grandson and I are watching the first episode it’s pretty interesting.
We taped it and watched it! I have to be honest, all the contestants were so, so, weird! It just seemed so scripted. And the host is odd too. Son got half way thru and said, " ok I am going to my side (of the house), I can't handle this show. Lego building is such a personal thing, I think for him. Watching others build things all wrong was just like nails on a chalkboard.😋
💖Rebecca4 -
heather - we are working on get back to a “proper” marriage and friendship. I think the biggest problem we’ve had is he had been depressed and didn’t know or acknowledge it. He seems to be getting back to himself now that he is taking care of his health. I do know he has my back 100% and loves me deeply.
Rebecca - I am not a Lego builder so was quite impressed with it. I understand your sons reaction though.4 -
Well I have lost almost 5 lbs so far this month. Feeling good. Drinking 7 bottles of water ( 12 oz), a day. Finding my rhythm in all this. Getting my 1200 calories a day in, for the most part. Staying within my fats, and proteins, and limiting my carbs and sugar. I have noticed I am putting less sweetener in my coffee, and I seem to like salty things over sweet things.
My friends are my ladies at the gym I converse with, my husband and son. My son is the friend that I go meandering all the back roads with, and my partner in crime when we go have ramen. He has a sweet tooth and gives me a piece of candy when I am invited over to his side of the house to watch funny videos. I am the parent that will tolerate ( hmm tolerate is a strong word), listening to his Lego ideas and concepts. But I do because I am with him, and he's a great kid. Plus he hugs me when I make special meals like tapioca, or chicken fried rice for dinner!
There are times when I forget my best friend is my husband. I will be talking to him about something or another and realize oops he's a man, why is he listening to me drone on? But he does. I am his pill queen, and each week I fill his container with his allotted pills. It is one more week of blessings. 8 pills morning/ 1 pill lunch/3 pills dinner/3 pills bedtime. Day in day out.I
💖Rebecca
Whidbey island
Washington6 -
well it took me 6 hrs to go through papers and all the junk in my room, 2 big garbage bags full.. and now onto the kitchen lol..
we start a new program at work on Weds, so we shall see how that goes..
well back at it,,,6 -
Greetings! My name is Shana, I am about to turn 53 and live in a SE suburb of Denver, Colorado. It is snowing today, and cold. Ha.
I am 5'9" and my ultimate goal would be to get back to 160 lbs. I lost 90 pounds back in the late 90s/early 00s, and it has steadily creeped back, due to a number of factors. I am realistically setting my goal for the moment at 175, which means I have about 23lb to lose.
We are going on vacation in mid-April (Cayman Islands, yay!), and that is the weight where I feel comfy wearing my bikinis. I am going to wear them regardless, but don't want to embarrass my husband with a fat wife
Don't get me wrong, he never, ever says anything to EVER make me feel that way - it is entirely self-driven (I have isssues).
I started working on this in January, and in earnest over the past 2 weeks. I'm down 7lb and quite proud of myself. It is my plan to keep it up and drop those 23 lbs in the next 10 weeks. Wish me luck 12
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