WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MAY 2020
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KetoneKaren wrote: »
Jam is appealing!1 -
AZTeri2016 wrote: »Suzi Q - commenting on this:
Father Daughter Relationship – Lisa, like you I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had a better male influence in my life. But also realized I would be a much different person and I am happy with myself. When I think of my dad and how he handled things while mom and he were together I know he did what he knew and how he was trained. Each generation either continues on the same path as what was learned at an early age or grows and becomes better. Not everyone can look deep inside and see where they may be the issue or their minds close up to the unpleasantness they experienced so they cannot begin to know where their behavior stems. Oh, the mind is a wonderful and scary place!
I’be had this conversation with my sister who is estranged from our father. She holds him and our mother responsible for everything bad in her life, even though she’s probably the most successful and privileged one of the seven of us. She is angry (can you believe?) that my mother had 7 kids and PPD. She said she should have stopped. When pressed about when, needless to say she can’t/won’t answer. She’s #5. I can’t believe the anger that comes from her at times. When I said he did the best he could considering he grew up without a father, she said that’s no excuse. It’s so sad because Dad is 90 and certainly won’t be around much longer.
Teri - It's such a sad situation. The only one she is hurting is herself. She will never have the conversation she feels she needs. And, at your dad's age one has to realize society was not so "open", men were expected to be "men". And, who spoke about PPD??!! Women were just "hysterical" when they acted out of the norm.
In my very early twenties I made peace with everything and called my father up out of the blue. It was never a traditional type of father/daughter relationship, but I chose to let him in to my life because I did not want to wake up one day and say "what if". We were never able to fully communicate what I saw through my eyes as a child, but there was enough of those types of conversations that skirted around the topic. After a few years I realized we all do the best we know how to do at various times during our lives. When I look back there were countless things I should have handled differently and/or took a different path. It is up to us to accept and move forward. I know I am preaching to the choir!
There is some interesting reading regarding birth order. She may just be one of those "middle" kids who follows the traditional birth order attitude even though she is the most successful one. I think there is so much more to us than birth order and it is just one small piece of a dynamic that molds us.
I, like you, hope she can move beyond herself for her own sake. But know at her age that may not happen especially since it seems like she is a closed book on the topic.
Hugs to you!2 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »
Jam is appealing!
Apple butter.........0 -
Michelle - with so many counties in the great State of Florida I am really keeping it local. Here's a link where you can check down to the zip code.
https://experience.arcgis.com/experience/96dd742462124fa0b38ddedb9b25e429
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Machka - My vote is for the apple butter, too. (https://www.tastesoflizzyt.com/homemade-apple-butter/) You don't have to put nearly as much sweetener in as they show here; you can sweeten to taste once they're cooked. That way the apples don't have to be pretty. The reserve looks lovely.
Kim - That is just gorgeous! Love the entry, and love the non-mowable yard even more. Here, the ticks are so bad that any growth has to be cut as short as possible near the house, so I'm trying to figure out how to do pathways between flower or other beds all around the house. Probably won't happen until I'm retired. I want to see a picture of your garden!
Up nearly an hour and a half early this morning - storm rolled in overnight. We're just north of Fort Smith in the picture below, and the worst of it is nearly past. The thunder continues to roll, the ones you can feel in your chest--massive hammer blows of sound. Love thunder. Do not love it at 3 a.m., necessarily.
Later, y'all,
Lisa in AR, still yawning4 -
Lisa - I wish it was thunder that awakened me at 2:00 am! I hope I can make it through the day today......dentist appointment first thing this morning and then a full day of work. And, still T'ing G every day I have employment! 2
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Kim, love the entryway to your natural garden. I wish more would promote 0 grass here.0
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iiiii0
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Glenda > Love the pics. Did you take them?
Good afternoon everyone (afternoon here) Finally dragged my butt out of bed and it looks quite nice outside. Going to make a omelette for dinner I think and try to change my eating some as I pretty much eat the same thing everday.
Hope you all have a wonderful weekend x
Tonya UK2 -
Morning, afternoon and evening all, once more,
Finished on the elliptical, which I enjoy so much more than the rower, which I'm using on the days in between. But it takes me so long to cool down longer each time. I'm hoping that means calories are a-burning. Probably just means I'm a sweaty old lady and getting sweatier.
It's also possible that I just need to add in the three to five minutes of cool down time on the machine, which I seldom do, and it's possibly there for a reason. Ha!
Am in the midst of a mini, internal revolution against the "beat my last time" drive that I just can't seem to leave behind. My Fitbit died, and I chose not to replace it because it puts me into a space where, if the Fitbit didn't record it, then I didn't do it. I realized that is a path to obsession--something I struggle with in other ways and other times. I want to work out on the machines because my fitness matters to me, rather than so I can beat yesterday's time. I'll know I actually succeed when, rather than recording the time and the distance and the calories each day, I just put a checkmark. Haven't got there yet. Maybe when I get to that point, I'll be able to put the scale away. It would be a sea change of no small proportions.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
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hit a new personal best riding to work. all cuz i wanted to get warm... 14.8amph!3
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Lisa - I'm happy just to have 'got it done'. If I tried to beat my time I would soon get to the point when I wasn't enjoying it anymore. Some days are faster than others. I don't make a note of it, but I remember my PR for each machine and haven't been there for months. I really think, at this stage of my life, that it's a miracle I'm doing it at all! Just occasionally I get an urge for a HIIT, but that's not often. More important for me is to be moving. I do love the radio and tv programmes I listen to, so it's not a chore. Mind you, I spend at least 120 mins exercising in the morning and another 55 mins after lunch.
I'm more interested in the calorie burn than anything, so that I can eat and drink.
Are you doing any weights? I do only about 10 mins a day, but it has made a difference. Plus the yoga type stuff that involves body weight.
I am a bit obsessed with doing the whole routine every day, with minor variations, so I am a bit OCD about it. But it is the thing in my life that enables every other thing in my life.
Sine qua non. Eating, drinking, health, vanity, daily ease. Being able to move about the world with ease is huge for me. For years after the chemo daily life was a struggle. And vanity is a big factor.
Keep your eye on the prize! It's not about this second, or that second, it's about all over feeling good.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx who is just about to do some rowing.5 -
@Machka, you can probably find medical masks in pharmacies if they are not requisitioned for hospitals. Social distancing PLUS masks. Here in a major city it's impossible to go out on a normal path without crossing someone.
I had to go to doctors etc. Now they ask you to wear masks, and, sure enough, people not wearing masks on public transportation (once it opens again on monday) can be fined 135 euros!2 -
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i don't think i missed any personals, i just saw one from Machka! lol
semi deconfined for 3 trial weeks on Monday, after 2 months strict confinement.
won't have to self authorize going out the door anymore for at least 3 weeks and can go up to 100k without any justification (except we can't take public transport during rush hour if not going to work or some other major motivation). maybe i'll rent a car and go to a distant forest for a day. i dunno. much to tend to post confinement. so much was stopped and blocked.1 -
Lisa and Heather I keep track of everything and write it down. I keep track of time spent rather than calories burned. I like to see evidence of how active I have been. It encourages me and keeps me moving. I don't try to beat my best time or set any records. I record my weight first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Keeping these records reminds me that my weight and fitness are important. It works for me.Tonya, I eat exactly the same thing every morning for breakfast. It saves me from extra "decision fatigue". I have a collection of meals and snacks that I rotate for my other meals. I have to eat every few hours but what I eat at each event is modest in size. My body can't handle the intermittent fasting that many on this thread are doing. One of my line dance students called me yesterday. She and her husband have been in Florida for the winter to be near her mother who is in a nursing home. They weren't able to see her mother since early March. They flew home wearing masks, goggles, and gloves and were on day 10 of a self quarantine. I don't know what is opening around here except for the car wash that is right outside the boundaries of my neighborhood and I can see it each morning while walking. Someone complained to me that she couldn't understand why a car wash was more "essential" than a hair salon, completely missing the point that it's about safe distancing, not how essential a business is. We don't plan to go anywhere even if things open up. Today promises to be warm --69 F--and sunny. Could be a good time for a little more weeding and an extra walk. Barbie in NW WA 3
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Am in the midst of a mini, internal revolution against the "beat my last time" drive that I just can't seem to leave behind. My Fitbit died, and I chose not to replace it because it puts me into a space where, if the Fitbit didn't record it, then I didn't do it. I realized that is a path to obsession--something I struggle with in other ways and other times. I want to work out on the machines because my fitness matters to me, rather than so I can beat yesterday's time. I'll know I actually succeed when, rather than recording the time and the distance and the calories each day, I just put a checkmark. Haven't got there yet. Maybe when I get to that point, I'll be able to put the scale away. It would be a sea change of no small proportions.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
I don't use fitbit ... I mainly use Strava.
I record time and distance, but I'm not out to beat anything. Training isn't about beating your time (or distance) each time you do something, it's about variety and a goal.
For example, when I was training to do the ultracycling, I'd have a plan something along these lines:
Monday - rest day where I might cycle a very short distance, or perhaps just walk. Maybe yoga.
Tuesday - intervals or hill repeats
Wednesday - moderate distance at a reasonably quick pace
Thursday - intervals or hill repeats
Friday - rest day where I might cycle a very short distance, or perhaps just walk. Maybe yoga.
Saturday - long, long day at a comfortable pace
Sunday - long day at a comfortable pace
For my long, long ride on Saturdays, I would extend the distance each week for 3 weeks, and then on the 4th week, cut back. So it might be 50 km, 60 km, 70 km, and then down to 55 km. Then I would start again with 60 km, 70 km, 80 km, and cut back to 65 km. And so on until I was cycling 160 km or 200 km or whatever.
If you just keep pushing harder and harder, then you burn out and don't reach your goal.
Oh and also ... I have trouble sticking to any kind of plan without a goal. It's hard for me to just exercise an hour a day unless there's a reason to exercise an hour a day. Right now, I don't have a goal.
It's difficult to have a cycling goal now because my husband likes to cycle with me. I would like to say that we'll aim to do a 50 km ride next month. I know he can do a 50 km ride because we have built up to it and have ridden that distance once since his accident ... but his energy and fitness goes in waves and changes from one day to the next. So he might be up for a 50 km ride next month ... or maybe not. I just don't know. Prior to the accident, if I said, let's go cycle 100 km this weekend ... we would. So it's a bit frustrating now.
I'd also like to make a running goal, and may I just need to do that. I ran 7 km on the treadmill the other day and realised I could probably do 10 km. So maybe that will be my goal for this month ... a 10K on the treadmill.
I'm also hoping my husband will feel up to going to the reserve ... then I might be able to try running outside with my new shoes!
Machka in Oz2 -
Barbie > I don't really understand the intermittent fasting.. I have honestly never heard of it and why it is being done or the benefits of it.0
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Machka- Apples not crisp can bake a pie or Apple bread desert. Can also put in a salad 🥗. Can also make homemade applesauce if you like that sort of thing. Apple danish,Apple Crisp is a type of desert here, even add it to cereals with a dash of honey. Apple pie,Apple cheesecake,etc.
https://www.delish.com/cooking/recipe-ideas/g28905580/easy-apple-desserts/
Happy Mother’s Day to All is Women who Mother our pets,Godmoms, Moms,Grandmas,those who have babies a man during his flu’s lol 😂,helped raise family members kids ,babysitters, had to hold our bosses to customers hands as they cry or toss a tantrum,y to all us Women out there.
Wore hubby work mask he put aside for me only since this mess went grocery shopping for shampoos to hand soaps a few fresh foods. This morning saw Hubby went back to the store not for food but for Mom Day gifts.
Amber Tx
Cleaning,exercise, get stuff done hopefully,Netflix,y eat right (hotdogs!!)
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The flowers on the arch are purple trumpet vine... there is also wisteria there, but I cut it back so much last year it did not bloom this year.
Kim
N. California4 -
Amber Tx
Gave JR the balloons 🎈 I’m keeping the flowers 💐. Should occupy him a few days to weeks
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Thank you Kim. Do you happen to know if that purple trumpet vine is Clytostoma callistegioides? (I looked it up on line, and that's what I found). Because the trumpet vine I know is a yellow or orange flowering vine native to the East Coast, sometimes considered invasive. It is Campsis radicans, and I like it, but I am really loving that purple...1
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morning ladies~
well I have a part time job taking care of my brother's mother in law Faith- which I have done many times before..
but will be working weds, thursday and saterdays 8-4 .. so its something.. she has end stage alzheimer's and Jean promised her dad she wouldn't put her in a nursing home
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Was it Katla that bought fuchsia recently? We are going to go to Lowe's this afternoon to the garden center to see if they have any still in stock. If it's crowded, we'll go back another time.
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Today is the 77th wedding anniversary of my parents. They met in college and decided to marry about a year later. My mother was 18. She did not need permission from her parents to be married, but my father was 20, and did need permission. In those days the legal age of consent to marry for men was 21! It apparently irritated my dad that he had to ask his parents for permission to marry Mom. The Navy had just decided to temporarily lift their restriction to allow sailors to marry, so Mom & Dad quickly made preparations to marry, and my father thought it absurd that he was in the military, 2 years older than his bride (who was of the age of consent for women), but he still had to ask his parents permission to marry. LOL.
It was wartime, and there was no money, so my mom made her own dress out of next to nothing.
I found a box 9"x12"x3" labeled "Wedding Dress" after my mom died. Inside was her beautiful wedding dress; a blouse & skirt made out of something starchy and sheer, maybe white tulle. It weighed a few ounces. I remembered her telling me that she ironed and starched her dress and then wore camisole and slip underneath, but I didn't really get it until I found that box. She was not short, but extremely thin; her waist was less than 20". The blouse and skirt looked as if they were made to fit a child.
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Today is also Mabel the Yorkie's 11th birthday! Such a good dog she is.
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I'm off to work for a few hours in my office upstairs.
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Karen in Virginia
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Glenda: Your photos are absolutely spectacular. DH & I drove through Las Vegas one time on our way home from visiting our daughter who then lived in Colorado. Neither of us had been to Las Vegas before and we were anxious to continue our travels toward home. We didn’t stop in Vegas, but we found a pleasant Casino a few miles to the north and had a nice meal there, before continuing on our journey northward.
Sue in WA: I’m so sorry for your daughter’s best friend and her family. Losing a brother or son to cancer is heart wrenching. As a mom, we always hope for our children to live long and healthy lives. :sad:
Kim: Your yard is beautiful! :bigsmile:
Karen in VA: Our rhododendrons are not blooming yet. They are just beginning to bud.
Evelyn Applin: Your view overlooking the Salish Sea is lovely.
Felicia: I understand your situation. The maps I saw recently show the worst cases and death tolls extending from Portland to Salem. Since then there has been news of one death in our county. :sad:
Tracey: I absolutely agree with you that funerals are for the living. We need the opportunity to say our goodbyes and also to connect with our remaining family members. :flowerforyou:
Machka: Here is my apple list--fresh raw apples, apple pie, apple sauce, apple cider, apple cobbler, apple computer, apple ipad, apple telephone . . .
SuziQ: We have friends that live in the Villages in Florida. I had a lovely long conversation with M yesterday. They were planning a road trip to visit friends and family on the west coast but have decided not to try a cross country road trip this year.
Lisa in AR: I love thunder, too. I suspect it is not as dramatic here as it is in your area. :noway: As to recording exercise calories—to succeed at losing weight I need to be able to count calories in and out. I certainly need to keep up recording so that I don’t fall into overeating. :noway:
Allie: Congrats on your new job! I think you will be brilliant at caring for your brother’s mother-in-law. You have a gift with caring for elders.
Our son requested we send Mother’s Day flowers for his wife. This is the first Mother’s Day since her mom died. We have decided to send the same amount to our daughter, who will undoubtedly put the money to good use.
Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon
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Just lost my post 😢
HEATHER I’m like you count the calories burned so I can eat more. Vanity plays a large part too love it when hubby tells me I look good, not at the moment though hair a mess, no make up shorts and vest 😂😂
Did over an hour this morning, kettlebell walking vid and line dancing vid both on YouTube
Made my leek and potato soup worked out the calories about 500 total will serve 4-6 so great Probably only 3-4 for me as having it fo main meal
Kate UK ❤️2
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