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Wrong answers ONLY!

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Replies

  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,282 Member
    It depends how much exercise you do to burn off the calories.

    If you run around the block all night long ( sleep is over rated, right?) Then you might be allowed 50 bags per day.

    I have a large crack across my ipad screen.
    How can I fix it?
    Cheap and easy answers preferred.
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,027 Member
    Easy. Two words. Duct tape.
    It comes in more colors than just silver, and it will hide that crack very effectively.

    How should one show their disappointment when they arrive early at the gym before water aerobics, with the intent of soaking in the spa, and find that the spa is temporarily closed?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,902 Member
    edited April 2022
    I find a good temper tantrum works well to make your disappointment and irritation known... and people love to watch them in action. The more "mature" the tantrum maker is, the better. Make sure your face gets real red and you stomp your feet a lot. Try yelling, "I demand justice!"

    I chose poorly among the lunch options here in First Class on my flight to Seattle, which means I'll be hungry when I arrive. (The only thing that saved me from eating absolutely nothing was a little bowl of citrus slices and a miniscule Frank- inspired dessert.)
    o7xajodsejtn.jpg
    I normally bring a pbj or cheese and crackers when I'm flying in the back. What's your go-to airplane snack?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,027 Member
    I never fly anywhere without one or more of the following delicious and aromatic foods to snack on:
    • camembert cheese
    • durian (Southeast Asian fruit)
    • century egg (aka thousand year egg)
    • Natto (Japanese fermented soybeans)
    • surströmming (Swedish fermented herring)
    • Hákarl (Icelandic delicacy of fermented shark meat, which Anthony Bourdain called “the single worst, most disgusting and terrible-tasting thing” he has ever eaten. But what does he know?)
    The other passengers will be green with envy (or green for some other reason perhaps) when they catch a whiff of any of these foods.

    When is the right time to visit an island with an active volcano?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,630 Member
    edited April 2022
    Note: I was too proud of sharing this childhood memory to simply delete it when it was no longer answering the most recent question, so I will leave it here:

    When I was a child, I was used to having Hi-C citrus drinks and Monterey Jack cheese, every day after school. This all changed the winter the family took an airplane ride to visit my grandparents for Christmas. It was mid-afternoon, I was hungry, but my mother was distracted talking to the stewardess and didn't hear me the first several times I asked politely for my Hi-C and Monterey Jack cheese. I got fed up waiting, so I stood up on my seat and yelled at the top of my voice,

    "Hi-Jack now!"

    To this day I don't remember much of what happened in the next few minutes of that flight, but I do know my mother changed my after-school snack to grapes and chocolate milk.

    When is the right time to visit an island with an active volcano?

    I have been visiting the websites documenting the Icelandic volcanoes at all hours of the day, so I'm not sure I completely understand your question. But I guess the images on-screen are much more exciting during times of lava eruptions than when its only steam escaping, so I guess my answer is to login and visit the website only during times of actual activity.

    Why is it that sometimes you sit down to complete a task, say a college paper or updating the family budget, and it's done in fifteen minutes, where other days you sit down to do the exact same assignment yet it takes hours?
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Silly goose you're just forgetting to turn off your slow motion mode.

    Why don't we just always go by military time, wouldn't that make more sense?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    No, I don’t have enough fingers and toes to count on if we switch to the 24 hour clock.

    What is the purpose of dimples?
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Tiny little pockets to store glitter but you always have to at the very least be smirking to use it.... Ive lost a lot of glitter.

    How does the water cycle work?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,902 Member
    edited April 2022
    Before learning how the water cycle works, one must first be proficient in the three cycles that precede it - tri, bi and uni. The first one - any 3 year old can do. The second - most people master by 5 or 6. The third is a little trickier; so much so, that many people don't even attempt to learn it. Those that master the third cycle soon grow bored and move on to the water cycle. But only they know how it works. (I'm in the group that stopped at the bicycle - sorry.)

    Is there any way to convert a night owl into a cheerful morning person?
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Melatonin, getting the owl to the Dr for dosage is the tricky part.


    Who was Pavlov's dog?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,902 Member
    Oh didn't you know? Before he was Charlie Brown's dog, Snoopy was Pavlov's dog.

    What's your favourite color and why?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Mustard yellow. All the best things are that colour like mustard and baby poo. 🥰

    I love board games. What is one of your favourite pastimes?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,027 Member
    edited April 2022
    I like to watch commercials. Unfortunately, most commercial breaks are disrupted by actual programming time (except for paid broadcasting type commercials, but those generally lack entertainment value). So I record programs, that way I can fast forward through the program and see all the commercials more efficiently. With practice, you can get to about 90% commercial time versus program time, which percentage wise is slightly better than watching the whole thing.

    Is it true that commercials are always completely honest about their products and why you need them?
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,282 Member
    Of course it is.

    Especially the sort of commercials peppering Australian media atm - political parties telling us what they will do after upcoming Federal election
    I'm sure every one of those promise will be 100% kept.

    Voting in Australia is compulsory unless you have a valid exemption.

    Like dementia, in labour ward having a baby, in coma following a car accident.

    None of which likely to apply to me.

    What other excuse could I try?

  • s1im62
    s1im62 Posts: 31,327 Member
    Assuming death of the voter is a valid excuse, try faking zombification or vampirism. If they don't accept those then just run for office in the Zombie Party or the Vampire Party, and they'll change their minds quickly and disqualify you for being dead. There's nothing like a little political competition to change a politician's mind about letting people have their own way.

    After finding out that celery is not really a net-negative calorie food, I've been searching for others that are safe to eat, and largely safe to eat, with no success. Are there any such net-negative calorie foods?
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    edited April 2022
    Well I hate to be the person to answer a question with a question but have you tried using a positive net to catch the food in? Seems the most logical way...🤔


    How do rainbows form?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Have you ever taught rain to do anything? It takes incredible patience. It’s rare to see an actual rainbow…most are just rainhangies. 🤷‍♀️

    Why do we have chocolate eggs for Easter when bunnies don’t lay eggs? Why isn’t it an Easter Chicken?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,630 Member
    The chicken population is still attempting to recover after Super Bowl weekend, when approximately 1.4 BILLION wings are consumed each year. (True fact.) (Note: this answer sounds better than the age-old comic where bunny droppings are mistaken for chocolate eggs...)

    Many of the technologies showcased in the original Star Trek series in the 70's have come true... cell phones, tablets, needle-less hypodermics. What scientific marvel of your favorite sci-fi show do you wish would come true next?
  • s1im62
    s1im62 Posts: 31,327 Member
    A sharknado. People living in the coastal areas have it too fun and easy, so an occasional sharknado will help balance the kharmic cosmos.

    California is facing a water crisis. Meanwhile water has been found on Mars, and nobody is even using it at all! How can all that freely available water be piped to where it's needed?
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    The environmentally friendly compostable straw was tried but it didn't have the longevity needed to get the water where it was to go. Next they tried the metal straw but it was too rigid and it poured down in Australia instead. Oops! I hear they are working on some kind of crazy straw similar to what is used in beer hats and wine purses. Hopefully, the scientists working on it don't end up too drunk running their experiments.

    I'm hosting an unexpected Easter dinner for family. What is your go-to Easter dessert?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,902 Member
    This year my Easter dinner is likely to be be sourdough bagels and coffee and I'm thinking about making it my new go-to for future Easters.

    How often do you change the pillow cases on your pillows?
  • frankwbrown
    frankwbrown Posts: 13,027 Member
    edited April 2022
    Change them? Why would you want to change them? I suppose you might want to change them to have a new color now and then, in which case go ahead and change them when the mood strikes. Some pillow cases are made of poor quality fabric and might start showing wear after 3-4 years, so next time buy better cases. I suppose some people might have a problem with the pillow case getting somewhat stiff, and so might want to change them for that reason. That seems like a wasted effort, since the new ones will be stiff after a couple years or so, and you're back to square one. And if your pillows have a synthetic filling rather than something like goose down, why use pillow cases at all? It's not like the filling is going to leak.

    For a while now (really ever since I started living alone, or soon thereafter), I've noticed an unpleasant odor in my bedroom, right around my bed, even after I pick up all my stinky clothes. What could it be?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,902 Member
    edited April 2022
    Are you hiding chocolate under your bed? You know that must be eaten within a day or two (at the most) or it immediately starts to smell like mustard, right? I'm almost postitive that's what you're smelling.

    (And I mis-read your question, Cat. Bagels and lattes are my Easter dinner. My go-to dessert is invisible pickle pie - my friend Frank introduced me to it. Since I'm out of town for Easter this year, I'll probably have the old Easter dessert standby - cough drops.)

    There's not a lot of floor-space to spread out a yoga mat in my hotel room. Any suggestions for another way to get in some yoga while I'm out of town?
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Oh that's easy just set up in the lobby and when people join you can charge them. It's a win win, you get to do yoga & get extra spending money on vacation.


    Why does smell so greatly affect your taste?
  • cmsienk
    cmsienk Posts: 18,902 Member
    (Oh if only this were a vacation...)

    For years smell has affected people's taste - especially when it comes to one's wardrobe. If what you're smelling when you're getting dressed for the day is pleasant, you're more likely to look fashionable and well put together. If however, the smell in the air is putrid, good luck to you. You're likely to be walking around in mis-matched clothes, with a cloud of 'stink' surrounding you - much like Pig Pen, Charlie Brown's friend.
    ab1zp7beizdi.png

    What do you when you have a song stuck in your head (and you'd rather it not be there)?

  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Pain. Pain takes all thoughts away from what's happening elsewhere in your body so slam your toe as hard as you can into a wall and you sure won't be thinking of that song anymore that's for sure. (NOT MEDICAL ADVICE, NOT A DOCTOR)

    Why do Doctors prefer to go by their professional title while off duty? (Dooty 😄)
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,630 Member
    Do you realize how many years of college you have to study through before you can be called "doctor?" During that entire time, candidates are not allowed contact with the outside world, only fellow doctors-to-be who have name tags with their last names. Eventually, the doctoral students' heads are so full of information that they begin to forget less important facts, such as names nobody calls them anymore. By the time they graduate, most have forgotten their first names; consequently, they choose to be called "Doctor Smith" from then on, some out of shame that they've forgotten their names, and a rare few who actually BELIEVE the word doctor is their first name.

    Why are some leftover foods so much less tasty than when served fresh, while others are even better the second time around?
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Well a while ago I read an extensive research paper by Dr Ima Fraud that explained that tast buds replace themselves about every two weeks. In this process obviously the pregnant taste buds that are about to have the new tastebud offsprings have the same cravings/food nausea that is similar to other living organisms. So for example let's say you had lasagna for dinner Monday and it was phenomenal but by Tuesday at lunch time it taste not right anymore, lacking, that's probably because those pregnant taste buds are having a hard time accepting that flavor at the moment. Or let's say you have steak Friday and it was alright but on Saturday it's the best steak you've ever had then obviously you've nailed tastebud cravings. It's all very scientifical but I hope I was able to make it as simple as possible.


    Where do all the lost socks go?
  • nossmf
    nossmf Posts: 11,630 Member
    The Lost Boys take them to Never Never Land, where they are stuffed with all the marbles lost by old people everywhere you proclaim they've "lost their marbles."

    Got the results back from my annual physical. Excellent blood work, blood pressure is good, prime of health. But one thing I couldn't figure out...how is it the nurse measured my waist as 37", when I wear 34" pants which would fall down if not for my belt?
  • Generic_Excuse
    Generic_Excuse Posts: 607 Member
    Well the medical field thives when people feel unhealthy and have to seek their attention and what better way than to make special measuring tapes that skip numbers. No one really looks at them but if you did you'd noticed numbers like 6, 14, 22, 31, etc are missing thus increasing your measurements and making you feel overall unfit. I also think they mess with the scales... but I don't have the solid proof on that yet.


    Why does Winter start in Dec and end in March but the feel of Winter starts in October and ends in May? Seems a bit selfish of Winter.