Less Alcohol - OCTOBER 2020 - One Day at a Time (Try a Sober October)

dawnbgethealthy

I am Dawn and live in South East British Columbia. I am 60.
My goal remains the same as it has been for quite some time, 16-20 AF days per month.

I do it kind of diary style:

Thursday October 01 - AF - I did manage 17AF days for September even though I drank every single day (moderately) of my birthday week while away. I have to wean myself off of that path.
Friday October 02 - AF - I really felt like having drinks though.
Saturday October 03 - Drinks. I did flirt with the idea of an AF October...for a minute. Not yet, and not sure if ever I will want to be joining the sober squad.
Sunday October 04 - AF - Really going to try to get back to having at least 2AF days in a row this month.
Monday October 05 - AF - Planned Mojitos Tuesday or Wednesday before the Mint is finished for the year.
Tuesday October 06 - AF - No Mojitos for me today, I was exhausted when I got in from work.
Wednesday October 07 - Various Mojitos, Strawberry Mint, Orange Mint, Chocolate Mint, and mixtures of them.
Thursday October 08 - AF - Aiming for 2 in a row.
Friday October 09 - AF - Thanksgiving weekend here, so I will be eating a lot of stuffing, gravy, turkey etc. for 3 days. I have a pumpkin loaf for breakfasts even though I rarely eat stuff like that. I may have drinks this weekend, not sure.
Saturday October 10 - AF - First day of 3 of eating turkey, stuffing, potatoes gravy etc., not enough calories left for even a Grand Marnier tonight. Either I will have to eat less stuffing potatoes and gravy the next 2 days, or I will have to be AF to keep within my calorie count.
Sunday October 11 - 2 drinks. Scrapped the idea of Thanksgiving dinner again tonight, I will have it tomorrow. I had decided by about noon today that it was going to be a drinks, pizza, wings kind of evening. I worked very hard in the yard, seeing the forecast that today was going to be the last sunny day and that it was going to go to minus 2 (Celsius) this week. Photos to come of course.
Monday October 12 - AF. Mars is supposed to be viewable tomorrow night, and then not again like this until 2035. Just saying.
Tuesday October 13 - Drinks. I have only had a sip of one so far, and am breaking my own rules: keep 2 AF days in a row, don't drink when stressed. I worked 12 hard hours today and went out twice to have a smoke...and it was *kitten* snowing!! Argh, way too early. So glad that I killed myself in the yard on the weekend having seen the weather report. We have an election in this province coming up, and the debate is on tonight in around 25 minutes. Having a few drinks, wings and pizza (believe it or not way less calories than the turkey dinner leftovers that I was planning). Stress was gone with the first sip. Didn't even wait the 6 minutes, was thinking of drinks already in hour 9 of my work day. Can't say that I am regretting it at all.

Rolling total: 9 AF days out of 13 days so far.

Lilylady3k

@Samand303 - Love your soapboxing! Putting myself first has always been a goal that I tried during my 30s 40s and 50s .. now as I approach 60 in a couple of weeks I decided that my focus is me. I can't fix anyone else (adult kids, DH, my sister, my brother, my mother) anymore if I don't do something for me first. I've decided I'm not going to live my 60s like I did my 40s and 50s. I'm going to let my 60s be the new 30s for me LOL

@dawnbgethealthy - It is nice to see you on some of the threads too!

Election ... my county had "technical difficulties" with their computers. Seems the dates were not set correctly and they had to reprogram them since the early voting was moved up a week. Also some polling places had only 1 working. Long lines, people dehydrated, some in line for up to 7 hrs. I'm so glad that I decided to wait until they get the kinks worked out. Oh and the ongoing battle with drop off ballot boxes in Texas ... Harris County for Houston gets only 1. I'm very glad that I have a polling station just outside my neighborhood that I walk past daily walks ... I can slip in easily when I see things are working smoothly.

MissMay

Samand303 wrote: »

Just caught up on you all...scrapple, head cheese, and more. I grew up with this stuff too, and actually remember liking cow’s tongue.

Hugs and strength for all the health issues, but glad we seem to be keeping Covid at bay.

DH is a heavy drinker. Focusing on moderation and even having AF beer and mocktails are things he is watching me do, but will never join me. He doesn’t undermine me, or pour me drinks graciously. But he never says “way to go” or mentions my weight loss (#30+). My success makes him feel bad about his very overweight alcoholic body. I’ve FINALLY learned that’s not my problem. I want to be healthy. But it’s taken me age, experience, therapy, and Alanon to put myself first. Don’t wait until your 50s ladies! You deserve to be good to yourself, for yourself!

{Sorry if that got a little preachy / self-righteous ~ Sometimes I have a soapbox}

You don't have to apologize for speaking your mind. I have come to the conclusion that I can not help someone(my hubs) that does not want help OR believes he has no problem.
I do so applaud your self help encouragement.
"WAY TO GO"🤗

MissMay

globalhiker wrote: »

4 days AF/2 days A. Not ideal but yesterday was a holiday and family around me in celebration mode.

@chocolate_owl extra big hugs for you....you have a lot of power inside your strong self and can use it to bring your best self forward. You deserve happiness and success. Get that new hairstyle you want!

This year was the major pits but it's already October and time to look ahead and make good things happen and become the healthiest we can be.

I have some spinal disc degeneration (from prolonged sitting at work as per chiropractor) and occasional right hip bursitis that acts up (from muscle strength imbalance as per physical therapist). All my doctors and chiropractor tell me to lose as much weight as possible now to reduce pressure on joints, discs, etc. so I can continue exercising into my older age. They even want me a bit underweight now to get ahead of the game. Hydration and anti-inflammatory diet. As you know, degeneration is not reversible but they tell me if I work at it, I can slow or prevent future degeneration. Trying!!!

My husband had bad knee arthritis pain and the orthopedic doctor told him he needed surgery, but he instead decided to lose weight, about 60 lbs, and all problems are long gone. Ten years went by and he runs 5 plus mile trail runs daily at warp speed for his age. Convinced me that weight loss is the best way to go compared to the alternatives: pain, surgery, scary prescription pain killers. Weight loss works!

I am not a fan of surgery or drugs. Losing weight and possibly being a hair below what some people think I should weigh also keeps me active and doing circles around those half my age. (61years young)
Also investing in KT tape which to me is a magical application that pulls the irritated nerve up off my knee cap so that I can enjoy life without pain.
😊😊😊

MissMay

Another AF night.

Even with my refrigerator stocked like a nuclear bomb was about to explode and we have to have a fall out shelter.
Everytime I open the frig I hear " You have hard cider in there" or "those mini bottles of prosseco are still in there" or "want me to make you a drink?"

I learned early in life as a child at 12 years old that food is not love. That was how I became severely over weight with my Mother feeding me like a chirping baby bird until I was (true story) wearing maternity tops to hide my big body.

The same with alcohol, it is not love.......although my husband pushes it on me daily, I would rather he take a 30 minute walk with me outside to show me affection.

Keep fighting for what you believe in.

Lilylady3k

Looking forward to today For those that love gardening ... a friend & I are going through Home Gardening Certificate 10 week course material that Louisiana State University posted (FREE). It is so interesting! Tons of videos, powerpoint presentations and pdf documents. Today we are meeting for coffee to talk about what we learned in the plant propagation lessons (seed collection & storage, cuttings, divisions, layering, grafting, etc).

https://lsuagcenter.com/topics/lawn_garden/master%20gardener/home-gardening-certificate-course

Oh when Beverly and I talked about doing the course together ... she suggested meeting in the evenings over wine (we were wine buddies) ... but I had reinitiated my weight loss and determination so we moved our bi-weekly meetings to mornings without alcohol. She was very supportive ... though she still would like me to again join her for wine evenings. We've not had one of those in a very long time now.

@dawnbgethealthy - As your winter sets in ...you might enjoy this material.

globalhiker

5 days AF/2 A.....I booked myself a "self care" day today. Time to obsess about something fun.

Hitting the mall soon as it opens while our local Covid cases are low and before our real Fall hits and all our midwestern snowbirds show up en masse. Mama needs a new pair of shoes and a nice blazer for interviews. I'm coloring and highlighting my own hair (balayage and touch up is $240 plus tip, not in my unemployment budget!).

Did my old skin beauty routine yesterday - light fruit acid peel during day, wash off then repeat, then my favorite vit C skin serum at night. Restarted applying peptide lash growth on the upper lashes.

Got my beauty sleep, now it's time to go out and run before the UV rays get too strong.

Expect Success and Nothing Less

shorepine

Good morning, another AF day for me here. I had a very restful night of sleep, an owl was hooting outside my window as I drifted off and I loved listening.

Things have been going good, my husband has been home a lot more as his busy season is winding down. So I've got help with the farm and the kids again. He's been taking on homeschool responsibilities. With a partner helping me, it does feel like things are clicking into place. I'm so glad to be free of the school district right now. I never thought I would homeschool, until now in this age of learning on the computer.

Oct 1: 2 drinks
Oct 2: 6 drinks
Oct 3: 4 drinks
Oct 4: AF
Oct 5: AF
Oct 6: AF
Oct 7: AF
Oct 8: 3 drinks
Oct 9: AF
Oct 10: 4 drinks
Oct 11: AF
Oct 12: AF
Oct 13: AF

So far in Oct: 8/13 days AF

chocolate_owl

Oct 1-7: 12ish drinks, 4 AF days
Oct 8: AF
Oct 9: 1 beer
Oct 10: 2 wine
Oct 11: 1 wine
Oct 12: AF
Oct 13: AF

Thank you for the hugs everyone As much as I have *feelings* about my body and my husband's habits and work and Covid and US politics, I've logged a couple of easy AF days.

@forestdweller1 There *may* have been a few Dutch lessons I had to repeat but as far as languages go, Dutch is pretty easy! If I ever get to transfer to Amsterdam, I think I'll be competent pretty quickly. (I work for a Dutch-owned company and the way the US is going I'm starting to look for escape routes. Amsterdam seems very pleasant, but at this point my base requirement is "not a dumpster fire.") Also if you make some of that head cheese sometime send it my way.

@globalhiker Anything you can do to keep that degeneration from getting worse is a thing worth doing! Weight loss for sure, but also core strength and moving properly (squat down instead of bend over to pick up that thing you dropped, don't twist too much, etc.). That's awesome that your husband dodged surgery with weight loss. I'm trying to nudge mine in that direction - he also has a bad back, and our doctor says he'll have to have a fusion if he loses any more strength in his leg. Alas, surgery is the only way out for me at this point - I've got an appointment to discuss "next steps" in a week. Maybe this time next year I'll be running again! Also glad you had a self-care day - amazing how much those can perk us up!

@shorepine @MissMay @Samand303 Sorry that you all have struggles with your husbands, but selfishly I'm glad to be here with people who understand. All we can do is take care of ourselves and hope some of that rubs off a bit. Congrats on the scale moving in the right direction, shorepine!

@Lilylady3k thanks for posting the gardening class! I only have a balcony, but I'd like to know how to keep my zinnias alive through a summer. That sounds like a fun activity to do with your friend and a good way to dodge alcohol you don't have room for.

Lilylady3k

AF second night this week ... even though we had company! Everyone drank water or diet coke. Seems others are watching their weekday indulgence!

Oct accountability: 6/14 days AF

LoveyChar

Just a weird and random thought about friends and alcohol: I only have a few friends that I speak to regularly, one of which I have not seen in several months (the other two, it's been over a year). Anyway I told this friend we could have coffee together, six feet apart, on her front porch and I'd bring whatever coffee she wants from Starbuck's. Never really thought about it before but now thinking about how grateful I am that I have three friends and alcohol has never ever not once been a part of our relationship in the 10 -15 years we've been friends.

dawnbgethealthy

Thanks for the link @Lilylady3k

Yes, having to harvest my peppers and onions and tomatoes a month early was a bit of a shock. Climate change messes with everything.

I love winter once it is into the thick of it - like when the lakes freeze over for skating : - )
I love to shovel snow, x-country ski, build stuff on my lawn out of snow decorated with snowballs and solar lights.

We are probably 2 or 3 months away from all of that still here. This cold snap is unseasonal, so I had to rush to save things.

I will have lots of work to do still to get all of the garden "to bed", and then I won't think about it at all again until Springtime. I have already collected my jars of seeds for next year, because I am a nerd.

Winter really is my favourite. I do enjoy my garden and the lakes in the summer, but winter excites me. And no bugs : - )

dawnbgethealthy

I am Dawn and live in South East British Columbia. I am 60.
My goal remains the same as it has been for quite some time, 16-20 AF days per month.

Wednesday October 14 - AF. I worked out of town for my favourite company today (Foster Grant) and stopped on the way home for a wee trail walk. it was gorgeous with blue skies all day.

Rolling total: 10 AF days out of 14 days so far.

dawnbgethealthy

@LoveyChar
That is great that you have friends like that!

dawnbgethealthy

I had all of the onions layed (laid?) out on newspaper to dry, and then it rained! Drying them on my porch now.





I put them into upside down tables so that I could move them around and shake them or whatever.



And here are my bounty of peppers, they are really big:



One little cuke, it is covered now, not sure if it will survive, but it is soooo cute!

dawnbgethealthy

I had to add one more pic of the peppers to show my Maple Tree in colours.

I have been eating peppers, onions and tomatoes for months out of the garden, and don't normally have to harvest more than one at a time until November. I will do something with them over the weekend some I will just core and freeze as they are. I have been working on a giant one with hummus, but that could take me 5 days to consume like that.

Doxmum

Doxmum update: She is slowly, but surely, resurfacing to once again become a "Clear & Present Snark-Danger" on the thread. Been a rough 2-3 weeks. I coped - oh so functionally - by drinking my way through it. Like I think people who smoke pot or use edibles daily. They are just barely high all day but never drunk. In the end, though, this translates to an embarrassing amount of Proseco (even at 10%), Chardonnay on the worst days and the occasional beer when "thirsty." Sheesh.

I want to thank each and every one of you for inquiring after my whereabouts! I was reading & liking/hugging but too exhausted (Ok, maybe I was little drunk on a few nights) to put fingers to keyboard.

DH does not drink. I do not know how some of you are reducing your drinking under those circumstances. You are better women than I am. I don't think I could do it. DH does, however, have some memory "issues." As in he doesn't - remember. Today he couldn't find his keys. This is very common. The keys were not in any of the dozen or so places he is known to drop them. As a last resort he checks his vehicle only to find he had left them in the ignition, overnight, in an unlocked car. Fortunately, we live in a small town where cruising neighborhoods looking for unlocked cars is not a pass time. When he returns from Costco (no calls yet from him being lost while driving) he trips and falls in the garage because his hands are full, he doesn't remember to use his cane, and he also doesn't remember he is no longer 40. Or 50. Or even 60. No trips to the ED this time - whew!

Anyway, we have TERMINATION DUST (Alaskan term for snow on the mountain tops). Frost is on the pumpkin. And fall is def in the air (I fall & winter). Covid is raging now in my corner of NW Montana. But what's a pandemic among friends and people who don't believe in it? "I jihad your face mask!"

Doxmum is baaaaccckkk

shorepine

Hi @doxmum! I'm glad you're back! We all missed you... and can certainly relate to having a rough few weeks and maybe drinking more than we'd like. It also takes an embarrassing amount of prosecco for me, too. I get it.
Sorry about your husband's memory issues, I'm glad no one stole the car and that his fall did not seriously injure him.
I look forward to the reemergence of your clear and present Snark Danger!

@dawnbgethealthy your harvest is lovely. I am jealous of your peppers! It's tough where I live to grow good peppers, we have a cool maritime climate. Thanks for sharing all the lovely photos.

@globalhiker I hope you had a nice self care day. That sounds like such a wonderful thing, I really need to do that! I desperately need a haircut, it's been months. Well, 9 months to be exact. My hair is starting to feel like a blanket.

@MissMay I am sorry to hear your husband is kind of like mine with regards to alcohol. I think I have mine trained a little bit that I am trying to cut back now. I don't think mine is trying to be malicious, I just truly think he believes alcohol is the answer to every situation. He did take a month off back in January and I was so proud of him. I wish he'd do it more often.

Another AF night for me here. The days are starting to reach on in October in my little calendar. I'm determined to meet my goal of 20 AF days this month and so I'm really trying to rack up 10 before the month is half over. Otherwise, I'll be playing catchup the last half of the month and once that happens, I am usually destined to miss my goal. Although, not a lot of drinking opportunities in my meager little social calendar. We have a "maybe" camping trip next weekend, depends on the weather. Then there is the stress of working, homeschooling, etc, plus the election anxiety. Those end up presenting quite a few drinking opportunities without really trying!

Oct 1: 2 drinks
Oct 2: 6 drinks
Oct 3: 4 drinks
Oct 4: AF
Oct 5: AF
Oct 6: AF
Oct 7: AF
Oct 8: 3 drinks
Oct 9: AF
Oct 10: 4 drinks
Oct 11: AF
Oct 12: AF
Oct 13: AF
Oct 14: AF

So far in Oct: 9/14 days AF

globalhiker

6 days AF/2 days A. I mailed in my vote yesterday. Voted for the team that has the better global diplomacy skills, smarts, communication skills, management skills, decency, and common sense. The minimum criteria for basic leadership. Will leave it at that.

The townhalls tonight at 5am in my time zone will be my entertainment. Both candidates are on at the very same time, different stations. How goofy. Most of us will be watching our big screen and have our laptops in hand streaming the other candidate live and just watch both.

globalhiker

@dawnbgethealthy your veggies look like they'd be a great base for salsa! If I had room to grow those, I'd be prepping jars of salsa and giving them as holiday gifts to friends. I'll have to put this on my retirement to-do list.

@Doxmum glad you are back! We were all starting to miss you.....