WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2021

Options
1…2223252728…83

Replies

  • bananasandoranges
    bananasandoranges Posts: 2,410 Member
    Options
    Machka Why or or How does mindfulness make you feel worse?
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,395 Member
    Options
    Allie - 3 inches???? Lucky you to get that much!!!!!

    Michele NC
  • kymarai
    kymarai Posts: 3,630 Member
    Options
    Michele That one was a kit. It came with the pattern and thread. All I had to do was count. I have made my own designs in the past by putting together parts of patterns. The next one is the Eiffel Tower in greys with a touch of red for oldest Granddaughter's graduation in May. The fabric actually came with squares marked on it and the pattern sectioned off per page. I will try to share a picture. It will be a major project. My youngest granddaughter has been making smaller cross stitches which she does by transferring pics to graph paper.

    ❤
    Kylia
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,984 Member
    Options
    <3
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,811 Member
    Options
    Wow so much to comment on and I didn’t take notes.

    I know I have my parents a terrible time as a teen. I never did anything too bad(in my opinion as a teen, my opinion as an adult with teen girls was how did they not just shoot me? I caused a lot of worry and have read about it my Mom’s and Grandmother’s diaries. Not once did I ever feel unloved though so I think if you love them through it they turn out ok in the end.

    I took the whole weekend to myself and did absolutely nothing for work or at the house. On Saturday I spent all day and part of the evening with our youngest and yesterday I went and visited with one of my cousins. Not the one that isn’t speaking to me. I ended up not getting glen until 1015 last night.

    Today I worked until after 7 trying to get some stuff caught up, came home started laundry and have ran the dishwasher through. Now I need to figure out something to eat.

    I think I have a solid plan for my Grandson’s and my birthday. I need to put in a timer off request and him and I need to nail down some music and decorations. We are doing a hippy dance party. He will be 10 and I’ll be 53. He has included me in all of his birthdays since he was able to have a say. I think it was his 2nd birthday he convinced his Mom I needed my own Ninja Turtle cake. I don’t know my turtles, but he had the one with the blue mask and mine was purple based on our favourite colours. I have told my daughter I’ll handle the decor this year and she can provide a cake. I’ll probably spring for food too.

    Tracey in Edmonton

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,192 Member
    Options
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    Machka Why or or How does mindfulness make you feel worse?

    My brain starts screaming at me about what a waste of time it is and I start getting really anxious, not quite to the level of a panic attack, but I do feel like running out of the room.

    I've been taken through the body scan mindfulness exercise and for me, it's horrible. You're supposed to mentally identify and feel each part of your body but that just reminds me how much things hurt. I dedicate a portion of my brain to ignoring/forgetting the pain. I don't want to focus on it!

    Regarding stress reduction (one of the main benefits that mindfulness is supposed to have), I have found that sitting still and trying to being calm doesn't reduce my stress, as above, I just get more and more anxious. Instead, being active (cycling, running, working out, etc.), being active in nature, and listening to loud music are three things that do seem to reduce my stress. And of course, actually dealing with whatever is stressing me is one of the best ways to reduce stress.

    A lot of the exercises seem designed to calm the mind. One article says, "When we are no longer paying attention to random thoughts, the mind slows down and the body relaxes." My thought patterns don't seem to me to be random. I think in lists, tables, databases and I need to keep my mind sharp and focused on my lists and what's next. However, if my lists seem fragmented and jumbled and I am having trouble focusing, I've found that going on a long bicycle ride, or more recently, long walks or runs will allow me to think the random thoughts, then get everything back into a list again ... while accomplishing something! :) And that makes my brain happy and not anxious.


    M in Oz
  • Snowflake1968
    Snowflake1968 Posts: 6,811 Member
    Options
    Machka - I can’t do those mindfulness things either. I’ve tried several different ways and like you, I feel I’m wasting time and if I just got done what needed to be done it would be fine. My biggest stress relief is cleaning. I’m struggling now since I can’t do too much of that.

    Tracey
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,192 Member
    edited August 2021
    Options
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »
    Machka - I can’t do those mindfulness things either. I’ve tried several different ways and like you, I feel I’m wasting time and if I just got done what needed to be done it would be fine. My biggest stress relief is cleaning. I’m struggling now since I can’t do too much of that.

    Tracey

    Cleaning is a big one for me too!

    When my husband had his accident, I got home that evening about 10 pm-ish and cleaned till 2 am, until I was so exhausted I couldn't do much more.

    And when he had his heart attack, I did something similar but not quite as much.

    But I find with cleaning, I do have to focus on the moment (whatever I'm cleaning) yet I can let random thoughts whirl around and get into lists or get out, it's physically active, I usually listen to loud music, and when I'm done or too exhausted to continue, the place is clean!


    M in Oz
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,539 Member
    edited August 2021
    Options
    Oh man was tonight's dinner at the sushi n place magnificent! I had fasted 24 hrs, then ate a slice of cheese. Which started my innards! Son and I split a crab roll, gyoza, and edamame. My main meal was a teriyaki salmon fillet. It was so good, I took my time, enjoyed the experience! Everything tasted so good! My taste buds were doing cartwheels. Tomorrow is a bowl of fluffy tapioca, maybe a turkey and cheese rollup.
    The meal was a pricey experience more than $80, then we treated son to a bookstore buy, a trilogy of books that he was oogling! $80 as well, and I went to the dollar store for a $10 spree. It was all and all a great evening with great conversation. I of course felt almost drugged, from the insulin rush of good food! Haahaa!
    Hugs
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Washington
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,192 Member
    Options
    bananasandoranges wrote: »
    Machka Why or or How does mindfulness make you feel worse?

    If you do a google search on the negative effects of mindfulness, you'll see lots of articles. This is one ...

    How too much mindfulness can spike anxiety - Stress, anxiety, productivity: mindfulness is often touted as a solution to nearly everything. But research shows that you can actually take meditation too far.
    https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210202-how-mindfulness-can-blunt-your-feelings-and-spike-anxiety


    Toward the end of the article, the author addresses some of the other options.

    One of the things the author mentions is that mindfulness is all about looking inward, something which I find really uncomfortable and anxiety-producing.

    The author suggests looking into contemplative activities that look outward instead and says, "There’s also a growing interest in meditative techniques that encourage you to think about others’ perspectives and to cultivate feeling of compassion" That appeals to me more than looking inward.

    The author also mentions focusing on "a bunch of flowers on your desk or even a passage from a poem" rather than looking inward, and in some ways I do that when I'm cycling or walking (less so when I'm running because I'm trying not to trip!). When I'm cycling or walking, I take moments to really look at the scenery or to pause for a few seconds and take some deep breaths when I'm under a tree or next to the ocean.

    The author also says that studies have shown, "in many cases, mindfulness was no better for mental health than many other positive interventions, like physical exercise" and I have found that for me. That physical exercise leaves me feeling so much better than sitting and focusing on my breathing or body.

    During and after the run I did 10 days or so ago, I felt the best I've felt in a long time. I had to walk some of it so I took moments to appreciate the beauty, the scents and sounds of nature. Running and jumping over and around puddles made me feel like a kid again, and made me feel like laughing. Most of the time I was by myself and my husband was with someone who would look after him so I felt a little bit freer. And of course the endorphins.

    No mindfulness exercise has ever come close to making me feel that way.


    M in Oz
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 2,890 Member
    Options
    <3
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,192 Member
    Options
    auntiebk wrote: »
    Machka laughing and SMH at the “evidently carers are meant to have all kinds of time”. Yeah right, :noway: Your stress reducing strategies sound spot on. I was going to recommend including a few minutes of consciously relaxing each set of muscles and focusing on breath just before sleep, a kind of body meditation, until I read that bringing your focus onto your body only serves to bring your pain into focus. So glad you have found methodologies that work for you. Loved reading about your feeling like a kid again, jumping over puddles. Yay! You need all the stress reduction you can get.

    When I lie down or sit quietly, I fall asleep! :smiley:

    The last thing we used to do in a yoga class long ago was to lie down, close our eyes and tense then relax our feet, tense then relax our calves, and all the way up. That was OK because I usually got to the calves and fell asleep. I don't actually know what happens after the calves!

    Occasionally, if I haven't fallen asleep in the first minute or so in bed, I'll do that.

    Or I'll think, "What shoes should I wear tomorrow? They should be bla .... " and then I fall asleep.


    M in Oz
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,363 Member
    edited August 2021
    Options
    My understanding of Mindfulness is 'being in the moment' and appreciating what is present. That could be cooking dinner, exercising, walking, eating, sewing, knitting, colouring, admiring the trees etc. The breathing exercises you were talking about are a specific type of meditation, which does not suit everyone. I like to be present in the now, just making a cup of tea, bringing one to my husband and drinking it with him. A small 'Tea Ceremony'. :D Eating my lovely dinners is, like it is for Rebecca, a form of Mindfulness. The point is to get out of head chatter and appreciate what is here, now. The beauty of my hands holding my tablet and typing. <3
    I also love visualisations and have a beautiful landscape I go to where I meet my chosen guests. There is a house there with everything I love in it, including a massage room.
    Sometimes I just imagine myself in a golden light shining from above and let it fill me. That's a great favourite of mine. I get warm all through. :) I use that at bedtime, or when reading, or when I am preparing to deal with difficult people.
    <3<3<3
    Love to all and welcome Valerie. Are you French speaking?

    Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    Options
    I have made some mistakes knitting. The baby blanket I’m knitting for or unborn grandson will be okay. I hope for much better than “okay” when I get it finished.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,192 Member
    edited August 2021
    Options
    The exercises that "force" (encourage) me to be in the moment usually just make me feel sad because most present moments have a sad element to them. I'd rather not dwell on present moments. :(


    But I'm in the present or near future all the time. :) Not sure where else I'd be! Just focusing on what I'm working on or the next thing I need/want to do.


    M in Oz

  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 18,387 Member
    Options
    KIM ~ Happy, Happy Birthday! 😍 The chores story.

Categories