WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2022

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,596 Member
    edited June 2022
    kevrit wrote: »
    Silly me! I wished by brothers, son, and son-in-law a happy Father’s Day LAST WEEK! Lol my brothers got back at me as brothers do…. I’ll try again this week.

    I would LOVE to travel but DH is a home body. I was in my glory the first year we had the camper. No drinking and exploring the country. But then, money ran out and we decided to do this hosting thing. I enjoy doing this but really really want to get back on the road. We have lifetime passes for New Mexico parks and the lifetime pass for national parks so could travel economically. BUT DH doesn’t want to give up his shop here at Bottomless. So here we are 5 years later in the same place. I do like it here but would like to travel. 2 trips last year to visit family by me alone bringing on much resentment by DH about money spent and family ( his do not talk at all). Jealousy mostly, so I limit those.

    Sorry folks just dreaming on going to visit each and every one of you from the North Pole to Australia!

    RvRita

    We can't travel either, outside of Tasmania. 68,401 km² (26,410 sq mi) ... approx the size of West Virginia.

    It's been 5 years, this month, since I've seen my family.

    So I know a bit of what you're going through. :heart:


    A couple weeks ago, someone at work asked me if I were going to take a holiday between jobs to go somewhere. My brain did not compute that for a moment. Go somewhere????

    No, I'm not. I have a 4-day weekend between jobs. I haven't been banking holiday time for the past 6 months or more. I've been using it so that I work only 4 days a week. Why accumulate holiday time when there's no chance of going anywhere.


    Machka in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,596 Member
    edited June 2022
    OregonMother wrote: »
    CT this morning. Best news possible. No progression, and the three bone spots "show signs of healing." Very happy.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley OR

    :):):)
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,596 Member
    dlfk202000 wrote: »
    barbiecat wrote: »
    :)<3Allie,congrats on finding a solution to your bed dilemma and at a lower price. Please don't lose sight of how much Carmine is hurting and struggling with their personal demons and always come from a place of love.

    <3Debbie, Stick to your guns about your MIL. Her toxic behaviour is the reason no one is there for her at her time of need. It's not your job to fix and care for her, nor is it your husband's . Take care of yourself and continue to be loving but don't be a door mat.

    :) As I listen to all the stories about yard care, I am so grateful for the decision Jake made in 2011 to move to a house with far less yard care required. We have just enough to keep ourselves entertained during the growing season.

    <3 Barbie in NW WA

    Thank you!!
    I just got home from sitting there since 7:30 this morning. I did take her dog for a 30 min walk which was great. DH called and woke me up this morning, saying she was really altered. She was fine when I got there. My thought is, she was having nightmares(she has said her friends, that are all dead, have been coming to see her- )woke up screaming and crying which freaked dh out. He told me later she also didn't smoke any cigerettes yesterday afternoon or evening and she is smoking usually at least a pack a day so I am sure that didn't help with her bad dreams.
    I sat while he ran some errands and she slept in her chair. For just a moment, I saw her open her eyes, look up towards the ceiling and with this wonderful sweet smile(something I have never seen on her ever in the past 33yrs), just lasted a few seconds then she closed her eyes and went back to sleep. She was talking a little in her sleep but was calm.
    Dh feels he has to be there all the time, unless he is at work and he is calling in which he never does, because it is his "duty"- he is the only one left- there is no other family. One older brother who is in a home in Okinawa who doesn't talk to her and a niece who barely talks to her(she is in Osaka) because MIL accused her of stealing her jewelry when she came to visit 10 yrs ago.
    We will be hiring someone to help. We just don't know the extent yet.
    Good news is she is really liking the commode chair so she doesn't have to go up or down stairs so many times during the night.
    If she was calmer in the evenings and let dh nap he could handle it but evenings seem to be the time she is the meanest- yelling at him, etc(he also says she is yelling but sometimes just talking loud but yes, sometimes yelling- they both get loud)

    Has anyone else dealt with people who have "visitors from beyond" not very long before they pass away??
    My FIL and dh's aunt(FIL's sister) both did. They would see them, talk to them.
    MIL is sure she is going to die soon.

    My friend is meeting me at the Wetlands at 6 so we can walk for an hour or so. Hoping MIL is calm and I can stay home and he can stay there and go to work for a few hours. She will be fine is she acts tonight like she was all day today. Very calm, slept most of the time.

    Rushed out this morning before I even had my tea- finally having it now- a bit late, hope it doesn't keep me awake-
    IF I have to go over there tonight, I will be sure to bring my own pillow and blanket and some snacks.
    He knows I am busy baking tomorrow for dessert auction at church Sunday so I won't be hanging out over there. I will go walk Kobe but that is it. Church on Sunday so no walk for the dog(at least not by me.) Monday, I will take my daycare girl with me to walk him.
    Dh works tonight and then is off until midnight Tues. night/Wed. morning for a full shift. His only full shift for the week.

    Have a great weekend ladies.

    Debbie,
    Napa Valley,CA

    Read that booklet Lanette suggested. You might be able to locate a free pdf, or it could be in your library.

    https://hospice-matters.com/the-little-blue-book/

    https://bkbooks.com/products/gone-from-my-sight-the-dying-experience?variant=36961181171868
    https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/4979168-gone-from-my-sight


    Machka in Oz
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,703 Member
    :)
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,610 Member
    edited June 2022
    Tina after wine and food, I’d be “leaning” toward the minivan… :laugh:
    Michele do you have a favorite Heinlein? Or top 3?
    Dang pip, you’ve been busy! Hope Kirby is ok.
    Welcome @Debra7095
    Lanette, thank you so much for your suggestions.
    Don’t remember seeing any maintenance agreements in our title documents. It’s at least a mile long, our driveway is the second one in and two tenths of a mile from pavement. Then there are two more houses spaced widely, then at the end of the lane there are two houses close together, including the newest one. It’s narrow, windy, up and down with a STEEP ravine on one side. Maybe I misused the term “grading” though that was to smooth and spread gravel. Sure hope no excavations needed! October, yeah that sounds familiar. Here it might even be October ’23. “No Hurry in Curry (county) is a thing.
    Carol is there anything you can do to tide your renter over til next week? Fans? Swamp coolers? Tickets to a local water park?
    Barbie “Some people create their own bad fortune.” Sad but true. Brava for calling her every day, I’m sure she didn’t make it easy. Hooray for line dancing!
    Meg I’m a little jealous, Our home is all original 1986 complete with yellow bathtub, grandma print “wallpaper”, fake wood paneling everywhere. Joe says he loves it as is but I suspect he doesn’t want the hassle, disruption and expense of any remodeling. Replacing the roof was rough enough. I’d probably like it better if I took better care of it but… Mostly I just look out the window at the woods and the sea and am thankful. Sometimes I complain ;)
    Rita I too loved to travel before I married Mr. Homebody. No more Worldcons or archeological digs for me :sniff: Then again, Joe takes such good care of me and the dogs, I must remind myself to count my blessings. Maybe we could somehow plan virtual visits, via Zoom?
    Heather bless you for listening to your friend L. That’s probably the most you can do. Bon voyage!
    Flea, best news EVER!
    Debbie would MIL’s Dr. authorize hospice in home care?
    Machka good look!
    Katla a couple of smaller hummingbirds are visiting our feeders now, we think they were this spring’s hatch. Sometimes they bump into our windows when coming in to feed, does that happen at yours?

    Got a letter from Oregon’s Department of Revenue saying our refund was being held until we send copies of our 1099s. A little disgruntled, we e-file using TurboTax and I don’t remember having to send 1099s separately before. Only took an hour to log into their system (already had login but their text verification failed repeatedly) and upload the pdf but stil… :rage:

    Done:
    Texted massage appt request, confirmed chiro appt, NFIRS account unlocked and one incident into POV.xls, recycling, library, post office, massage, Freddie’s, hymns, uploaded 1099s to OR.GOV/DOR

    Lighter, lovelies!

    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    2022: Be still and listen.
    June: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    <3
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,041 Member
    <3
  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,664 Member
    auntiebk wrote: »


    Got a letter from Oregon’s Department of Revenue saying our refund was being held until we send copies of our 1099s. A little disgruntled, we e-file using TurboTax and I don’t remember having to send 1099s separately before. Only took an hour to log into their system (already had login but their text verification failed repeatedly) and upload the pdf but stil… :rage:

    Lighter, lovelies!

    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
    2022: Be still and listen.
    June: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.

    Barbara: My middle son got that same letter today. They want a copy of his W-2 and ID. Very annoying. He panicked a little, but I assured him it would be okay.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited June 2022
    Barbara — We are beside the Columbia River and water has been deep. The little hummingbirds were nudged out of their home due to rising water. A friend gave me nesting baskets & I put them in our rhododendrons. It is doing the job for the little birds. They are safe from high water levels & get their sugar water in feeders stuck to our windows.
    Our house is safely above the river level and it seems to be okay for now.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,596 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    If I wanted to go on holiday I would just go on my own. If your husband is frail, then arrange care, family, friends, or professional. If he complains, too bad. You only get one life.
    When I first said I wanted to go on my first cruise DH was just not prepared to consider it. He said he hated ships, the cold, (it was to the Arctic), and crowds of people. So in front of him I rang up and took an option on a cabin. When I put the phone down and said I had 24 hours to make up my mind, he said, "Well, I might, possibly, come with you."
    I nearly fainted.
    The rest is history!
    When he had his hernia op, I got his sister to come, because I had a trip away with my girlfriends arranged. When he was having anxiety panic attacks and I was going away, his sister came and had to take him to the emergency room because they were so bad. Another time I had to drag him along on a girly trip because of his anxiety. They didn't mind, but I insisted he didn't join us for evening meals.
    He still adores me.
    I think now I would park him with the grandchildren!

    We always have more choices than we think.

    Love to all.

    Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    I just can't do that to my husband.


    M in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,596 Member
    These are my "holidays" ...


    Today's Walk:

    q8ex86kikeur.png


    Machka in Oz
  • wizzywig
    wizzywig Posts: 1,246 Member
    Good Morning

    Another sunny day here in York. Yesterday was the hottest day so far this year, it was exhausting! My niece visited, she needed a change of scenery, she doesn't get out much and I usually visit her. She only stayed a few hours, but I think she enjoyed the short break. She is still struggling with grief from her mum's passing, but it has only been 8 months.

    Heather I envy your attitude, I wish I could feel confident in going on holiday on my own instead of wishing I had someone to go with.

    I'm going to a birthday party today, it's my nephew's son, he's 2 years old. It's basically a family gathering to meet the little lad as he was born during the lockdown period. The party is at his grandma's house - (my sister in law) it's bad timing really as there's a Gay Pride march taking place in the city centre and some streets are closed for parties.

    Better make a start on the day.

    Take care and love to all <3

    Viv UK

  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,880 Member
    Flea - That's wonderful! So pleased for you.

    Travel - I'm on the flip side. My family traveled all over the western and central US until I was six years old, and then I traveled throughout all my adult life, 27 years as military and then a military wife, and the last 13 married to a man who loves to upstakes and relocate! I genuinely just don't want to travel anymore.
    Other Reasons Not to Travel Other Than Just Being Sick of It:
    • 🛏 Other people's furniture: There are not now and have never been anyone else's cooties living in my bed except mine and my husband's, and ours have reached detente. Small amount of advice - never EVER sit on hotel furniture while naked. If possible, don't walk on the carpet barefoot either. Just saying.🤨
    • ✈ Because of my reluctance to travel, I no longer have to enter a long, metal tube filled with cranky people, crying babies, germy children who kick the back of my seat, and recycled air in order to get someplace I don't want to go.✈
    • 🚽 The only decent thing about plane travel is that there's a toilet in the cabin. That is the major drawback of driving. I've driven through every state but Hawaii, and have used the facilities at hundreds of gas stations, fast-food restaurants, stores, and hair salons, just to name a few. If people came with odometers, mine would have flipped back over to zero again.

    Oh - and bonus: Camping is just pretending you're homeless.

    Machka - Worrying about you, with two meltdowns in recent weeks (whether for good reason or not, still worrying). Could you ask the kids to come to stay for a week or so and take care of your DH while you take a nice long break?

    OK, finally yawning again, time to go back to bed.

    Later, y'all,
    Love,
    Lisa
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,001 Member
    ☘️
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,696 Member
    edited June 2022
    Machka - I understand your stress over all these worries. It must be a hugely difficult time, not knowing your medical outcomes yet, and the legal business over your husband. It's a wonder you are still standing! <3

    Viv - Why don't you try an escorted tour? I went on one to Jordan one Christmas when I was divorced and single. It was fabulous. Nearly all of us of us were singletons. We were very well looked after. There are great hobby holidays as well. Lots of like-minded women. Feeling nervous and uncomfortable is perfectly normal at first, you won't be the only one with nerves. I have terrible nerves whenever I go anywhere, total waves of panic, but it's always worth it. Saga have around 120 single cabins on each boat! They also do other escorted tours with transport to airports included.
    Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    :)
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,648 Member
    edited June 2022
    Early Saturday morning here! <3

    Lisa - "Camping is just pretending you're homeless." :D Agree! My idea of camping is in a 35' fully equipped Winnebago with toilet, shower, etc. With some fun girlfriends.

    Meg - DH and I raised several litters of beagles. Loved them, very affectionate. But I know what you mean, ours were ruled by their noses. We once nearly lost Trooper and Scout overnight in a forest near North Bend, WA, where they took off after something and there was no calling them back. We were heartbroken. The next morning I called in sick, returned to where we last saw them, near a busy logging road, and there they were, no worse for wear. Little twerps.

    Debbie - so glad MIL is willing to use the commode. My DH actually quit smoking the last week of his life, though he had cut down considerably prior to that. That last week, he would say "I'm going out and roll a smoke" then either was too frail to roll one or forgot and would sit on his bench and watch the birds. It's interesting looking back now at how rapidly he was deteriorating, things I didn't realize when I was in the midst of it. That tobacco has mega control over their brains like any drug I guess. There are still pouches of tobacco stuck here and there I need to collect and toss into the garbage. I am pretty sure tobacco contributed somewhat to his death (he didn't have any cancer), but I think the main culprit was the many drugs he was taking for his Rheumatoid Arthritis and their various side effects. And more drugs to handle THOSE side effects. Sigh.

    Barbara - I didn't sleep well, dreaming about grass in the driveway and re-graveling it, lol. Our house is about the same distance as yours from the county road. With houses beyond yours, it makes sense your lane is more heavily traveled and subject to wear/ruts. Since there's a new home, I'm guessing the building department assessed the road recently in conjunction with issuing that building permit, so road graveling/maintenance should be fine.

    Rita - whenever Elon Musk or whoever gets that teleporter going, make sure to sign up! That way you can come visit us for a change of pace and get away from that heat and your DH if he's having a grumpy day. A balmy 62 predicted here for today so bring a sweater or two.

    Like Lisa, when DH was in the Marines I got to live in Arlington VA for a year and we went exploring a lot, spend time on the beach at Chesapeake Bay, hike a bit along the Appalachian Trail, see some historical sites. So I've dipped my toes in both oceans, and have had my fill of flying and traveling.

    Visitor - with my broken toe keeping me from walking with my buddy for a while, she has taken to come visit me. A lot. Other than Rosie barking and pestering her, it's pretty peaceful here in my living room. The first couple times were good, but now she's been keen to come every day. Half an hour would be fine, but 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time makes me really tired and we are starting to rehash prior conversations we've had and it makes me antsy :D

    I know she has had a stressful week with one of her kids suffering mental illness and her upcoming knee replacement surgery, I'm glad I was here for her. She had to shed a few tears, it's safe here with me. She's doing better and the conversation is back to how she is washing all of the blinds in her house, lol. And I'm getting tired of hearing myself comment about how my broken toe and the weather is keeping me from getting stuff done outside. :D

    And, I think she feels like with DH gone I'm lonely and need company. Nothing could be further from the truth. I truly am enjoying peace and quiet and being alone with my thoughts, planning the budget, planning meals and grocery shopping (Sue :D ) doing a bit of cleaning. When I need company I call someone or email. There were so many things I didn't have control over when DH was here, and now I can start to regain some control over my time and activities.

    My INTJ personality is coming on strong and the "I = introvert" part means I don't get energy from being around other people for very long. Small doses are energizing but beyond that, very tiring and stressful.

    Carol - so sorry to hear about the A/C on the fritz for your renters. I saw little "room coolers" at Walmart, when I guess they blow cool air on folks and can cool a small room. I'm hoping the renters can make do. I know it can be a worry. Until we had the thermostat replaced, our heat pump seemed to always go on the fritz - turn the heat ON! during hot weather so we got used to open windows and fans on the rare occasions the temps hit the mid-upper 90's here.

    Pip - Poor Kirby! And you! What a year for you both. Hope Yogi is on the mend and Kirby feels good enough to run the marathon. <3

    OK kids, that's the quick catch up for now. Make it a wonderful weekend!

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State
  • 1948CWB
    1948CWB Posts: 1,593 Member
    <3
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,696 Member
    Lanette - I'm INTJ too. :D
    Can you set some boundaries with your friend?

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,087 Member
    Morning ladies
    Lisa- you always make me chuckle with the way you tell a story..
    I dont travel much anymore either,my son Dan is flying to LA on Tuesday and im terrified that they will cancel the flight ,he is 37 yrs old and i think this is his first time flying.. its a non stop ,but they are canceling flights all over because they dont have enough pilots..do ya'll keep your fingers crossed his trip goes off without a hitch.
    My daughter and her family are going to the aquarium today.. like I said I got them a membership for Christmas so it can be a family thing...
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,648 Member
    For any of you not familiar with breathing exercises, check out Patrick McKeown. I've watched a lot of his videos over the past couple years. Very informative, as is James Nestor's "Breath" book.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sPB6jvOvjm4
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,703 Member
    :)
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    I am having a quiet morning and enjoying birdsongs. DH is not up yet and I plan to take a pot coffee upstairs to share with him. ⭐️ ❤️ 🌸
  • 1948CWB
    1948CWB Posts: 1,593 Member
    :)

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