WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR AUGUST 2022
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Katla ~ Are you doing anything for KATLA? I know you love your husband dearly, but, it seems that all these moves are wearing you out.
Carol in GA3 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »___
Downsizing update:
We have 25 of those realistic-looking battery operated pillar candles! 25!!! It's too many for this house, much less an apartment with no fireplace mantles, no dining room or DR table, and only 2 bedrooms! I refuse to store items like that. We agreed weeks ago that we will take nothing to the new apartment that does not have a place or a purpose. I figure there is a place on a display shelf for a grouping of 3 of the candles. Storing the other 22 is ridiculous. This is but one example of what I am dealing with. She wants to keep everything that we "might" need someday. Ugh!!! Tearing my hair out.
Karen in Virginia
I use those battery candles as nightlights. The ones I have, have a timer that you can have on for 5 hours. I put one in the bathroom and it comes on at midnight-ish and goes out about daylight. It's the perfect amount of light for nighttime bathroom trips.
Tina in CA
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KetoneKaren wrote: »
What papers do we really need to keep, anyway? You are way ahead of me on this one.
I already receive statements and most end-of-year forms electronically, but now I shred/recycle/respond to all mail daily, a habit I wish I'd developed decades ago. Very few papers are filed these days, and even most personal mail goes into the shredder after a few days and several rereadings. No more piles of mail. It's amazing how painless it is once started. Finding stacks of old greeting cards, Christmas letters, memorial cards, and letters has certainly cured me of saving every.single.one.
Karen in Virginia
I scan or take photos of most everything I can so I don't have to keep paper. The only things I keep in paper form are tax related things and house paperwork, like the note. Everything else I have managed to mostly put onto the computer. If I get something that I want to keep as a momento, I take a photo and toss it into the trash/recycling. I managed to get a two drawer lateral cabinet down to about 1/4 of one drawer.
Tina in CA
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DH is working on improving his health following a major hear attack, and he is making progress. Our daughter has taken my car for herself. I am furious and DH is in my court. We will see how things go from here.
If your name is on the title it is your car. What is she doing for insurance? Does she have permission to borrow your car? If your name is on the tilte you are legally responsible for the car. I would only let her borrow the car if it is an emergency otherwise it just gets too sticky. Just take back your key or your fob and explain the legalities if she complains.1 -
Dinner was black pudding with apples fried in butter, marrowfat peas and broccoli. Lots of English mustard.
I was in heaven!
AF white wine.
My afternoon snack was a modest coleslaw, in a mainly yoghurt dressing. It was left over from yesterday's tandoori chicken with coleslaw.
CO 600 calories. Rowing, cycling, mat work, weights.
Dessert is blue cheese and pear. One square of dark chocolate with hazelnuts.
Did not write my article. I will make a start tomorrow.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Thanks for the feedback, ladies! Machka, that link is great. I don't remember it. I have the 5 Wishes document, but the information on My Love List is far more comprehensive and useful.
(((Katla))) Time for a clarifying chat with your daughter.
My housecleaner Catalina is here; she's been gone for a month on vacation, so the house is in dire need. She looks happy and relaxed. She is like family, except better, because she cleans! Plus, if we ever needed someone to adopt our 2 Yorkies in an emergency, she would do it in a heartbeat. We love her
Got my haircut today; now back home & ready to go through more boxes and give away more stuff. Yay!
Karen in Virginia3 -
DID U SEE THIS???!!!
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I had an interesting day yesterday. Went to the adult center and played pool with DH for an hour. I was to go to the book club then yoga but DH came with and no one was in book club. It would have been only me that read any of a book and an employee! So played pool.
Then later at the campground, an elderly couple backed their camper into the shelter over the picnic table and took it completely down. The poor man was so upset about it. We moved them into another campsite. It’s
great to see people their age camping but there does come a time when you shouldn’t be driving or backing up a trailer. They had a small 30 foot Fifth wheel. I’ve seen 45 foot fifth wheels back into that site in 2 minutes.
RvRita
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Pip thanks for the heads up! Too bad that they are doing that.
Katla you definitely need to have a talk with your daughter about your car. Margaret is right about liability. Sometimes our children can be a little too helpful 💞
💞 Mary from Arizona/Minnesota2 -
Carol in GA — I am happy with my husband but frustrated with our daughter. He is recovering from a serious heart attack. We are living in a retirement center while he recovers from the heart attack. DH is well cared for here and we are happy together. I am homesick for our home in Oregon.4
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Rosemarie2972 wrote: »I love to do the breast stroke but reserving a spot at the pool is difficult. I might compromise and do water aerobics in the future.
I love to walk at a pond at a local college.
I enjoy walking/step videos
I. could do more yoga.
And I want to try pickleball.
Rosemarie from GA
I have tried pickleball. Its like tennis and ping pong had a baby and named it Pickle.😁. I played an afternoon at my clothing optional resort a couple years ago. Its definitely not as strenuous as tennis. The rackets are similar to tennis but without strings and a solid surface. 👍🏻
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa0 -
KetoneKaren wrote: »Beth You are sooooo smart to deal with the paper now. Paper doesn't age well in storage. Best to get rid of all but the truly essential stuff and avoid sending any paper items to storage. I am with you in spirit as we both sort through parents' papers (and in my case, my own as well).
What papers do we really need to keep, anyway? You are way ahead of me on this one.
During this downsizing operation paper has become the bane of my existence. Dealing with it has forced me to reconsider how I deal with correspondence.
I already receive statements and most end-of-year forms electronically, but now I shred/recycle/respond to all mail daily, a habit I wish I'd developed decades ago. Very few papers are filed these days, and even most personal mail goes into the shredder after a few days and several rereadings. No more piles of mail. It's amazing how painless it is once started. Finding stacks of old greeting cards, Christmas letters, memorial cards, and letters has certainly cured me of saving every.single.one.
Karen in Virginia
Karen ... the piles of cards and letters and stuff is overwhelming. For my mother, in terms of nostalgic paper things, I'm only keeping those items that seem to have a pattern for her. Like she kept the last several years worth of cards for two specific people. She kept a year's worth of my letters from when I was in college .. her accounting ledgers from several years ago. I would toss it all except I think she's heading into a memory care situation and these items might help her "remember" in the future. Still, after going through most everything today ... it's only the equivalent of one plastic tub. Photos will be another story.
For documentation purposes ... since they sold a house, had significant health care costs, skilled nursing, transfer of assets due to my Dad's death, and soon another move, etc ... I need to hang on to some specific papers. I called the accountant this morning ... anything to do with the house sale, property taxes, improvements, etc. until after this year's taxes. I was told only 7 years worth of tax returns.
Machka had good ideas with her "death book" earlier this year. It's boiling down to legal documents regarding Wills, POAs, social security, insurance policies, financial information (account numbers), investments, etc. Anything current really. It turns out to be the equivalent of one milk crate size file box and I'm probably keeping more than I need to. My dad had in his fire safe an envelope called "Emergency Information" ... gave me everything I needed in condensed form. Sadly no computer passwords though.
I did find my full birth name from my adoption decree ... that was a little startling.
My problem right now is I have to touch every single piece of paper and every envelope. My mother warned me years ago she had hidden money and she wasn't kidding. We've discovered nearly $20,000.00. We thought we found it all when we moved them to assisted living, but today, in an old box that she had stuffed little pictures, change purses and old newsletters I found $400.00 stuffed between the pages of a newsletter. I found $3000.00 the other day in a brown lunch bag tucked in an empty file folder. Easily could have been thrown away. Sigh.
I will tell you this ... you need a heck of a lot less than you think you do and I'm tackling my stuff this winter! My husband and I have kept every tax return and check since we started working in the 70's!
Beth near Buffalo
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Regarding our daughter/car situation—DH is planning to speak up. The sooner, the better.5
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Karen ... but here's some advice ... if you have decided to keep your mother's upper denture because it was lined in silver ... please take care of that yourself. I'm finding some mighty odd things.
Beth1 -
Katla ... Why is your daughter taking your care for herself? Is she borrowing the car for errands or has she made the decision that you shouldn't be driving anymore. A hard conversation in your future I'm afraid. Praying.
Beth near Buffalo
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Got my hair cut this morning. Have vet appointment for dog this afternoon and then they are delivering hay after that. I will need to get the stall where we store hay cleaned out before then. They were not scheduled to come until next week and I thought we had time to clean this weekend but alas not. This is supposed to be the hottest day this week so should be fun, NOT.
Beth - we found cash stuck away in my DH's things when he died but nothing like that.
Karen - sounds like you are making some interesting finds.
Pip - I don't use that feature much but that is a bummer for those who do. They seem to be pushing really pushing to get people to use premium.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA1 -
Hi Gals,
Katla – sorry to hear about the car issue. I am helping my mom with a number of things and we have had a few mis-understandings (from my view) a few moments where I did not do what she wanted or what was right (her point of view) and lucky so far when we talked about the issue it was truly a misunderstanding. I could totally see the car thing being that you don’t know your way around in her town, she is worried about you driving… Please don’t worry about it without first talking – and listening to your daughter to be sure that the situation is as you believe it to be.
Keeping stuff/parents records – I am spending hours going over all the items my mom needs to have updated/changes and to get her ready to move its time to get her out of her big house, and in fact she wants to downsize. One of the things we are dealing with is capital gains tax. If any of you are dealing with this, I was amazed to understand what the IRS considers “upgrades” as the costs of the upgrades can be subtracted off the sale price of the home prior to taxes being figured out. So upgrades are of course the remodeled kitchen, the added room…. But it is almost everything except paint and carpet… so it is new lighting, bathroom grab bars, new light switch covers, insulation, windows, ceiling fans…. But keep your receipts! And those have to be kept until after the home is sold… Be sure not to tuck them in with a years taxes that you might toss away in 7 years.
Plant based foods week of 8/21/221. Lettuce
2. Red tomato
3. wheat
4. basil
5. eggplant
6. sun dried tomato
7. oregano
8. walnuts
9. peaches
10. portabella mushrooms
11. red bell pepper
12. grapes
13. orange tomatoes
14. coffee
15. blueberries
16. potatoes
17. broccoli
18. sunflower seeds
19. onion
20. dried cranberries3 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »For the new folks, Shelle in MD ( @Shelle68 ) and Nikki in Dallas ( @Galrayne ), bookmark this thread and keep visiting! Support is available here from every direction, both for the changes you're trying to accomplish, and the rest of your life, too. Weight loss and the day-to-day lives we lead are too tightly interwoven to change your eating and not change your life. Changing habits to healthy ones will help a lot, and I'm sure you've read even more possibilities here too.
We're glad you're here!
Regards,
Lisa in AR
Thanks for the welcome Lisa!0 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 2min 6sec, 75elev, 3.0ap, 91ahr, 162mhr, 6.14mi= 558c
Strava app = 752c
Zwift home bike trainer- strava stats- 30.37min, 213elev, 157aw, 41-43gear, 19.8amph, 118ahr, 153mhr, 10.10mi= 265c
Strava app = 273c
Zwift stats- 30.29min, 214elev, 156aw, 53arpm, 19.88amph, 10.10mi= 274c
Total cal 8231 -
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Karen ... but here's some advice ... if you have decided to keep your mother's upper denture because it was lined in silver ... please take care of that yourself. I'm finding some mighty odd things.
Beth
You crack me up!
I am so glad my mother did not hide money. I have found some odd things, too, but no silver-lined upper dentures.
Love,
Karen in Virginia
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Kim,
Has your mom already taken the $250,000 exclusion on capital gains on her main home? That's a biggie. We have not yet taken that exclusion, but there is no way we will have anything near $250,000 in appreciation on our house, so the improvements become moot. I do have the receipts, though, you never know when tax laws will change.
Karen1 -
Worked then went and got my license renewed. I got one of those Real ID’s. I thought it would take a lot longer, but I was in and out in about 15-20 minutes. They had this list of things that I needed to bring, all they looked at were my passport and my driver’s license. So now I just have to wait for it to come in the mail, but my license is still good. They did give me a copy of what I will be getting. I’ll just keep that in my car and my license in my pocketbook. You know that if someone asks to see my license, just showing them a copy of the new one will throw them off.
At the DMV I found it amusing they asked “do you have any medical condition that would prevent you from driving”. I just thought to myself “yea, and that’s why I’m applying for a driver’s license”. That probably makes sense to the government.
Tina – I agree wholeheartedly, who cares what the hotel to see PJ costs. We’re going on the weekend, not during the week when the rooms are probably much more expensive. It’s probably higher since that’s Labor Day weekend and that’s the beach and a holiday destination, but who cares?
Made beef and noodles for Vince.
Lori – and don’t forget that you have us!!!
Nikki – welcome! The best advice I can give you is to log what you eat. Come here for ideas. People are always posting what they ordered at a restaurant.
Shelle – welcome. You have great goals. If it were me, what I would do is do one goal for a week (like stay under calories), the next week do another goal in addition to the calories (drink water) and so on. But don’t get discouraged if one day you, say, don’t reach your water drinking goal. The next day go back to the water and calories. Is that as thick as mud?
M – happy anniversary
Regarding cleaning ladies – Vince says that he’d get me a cleaning lady ONLY IF I couldn’t do it myself because he knows me and I’d clean before she got here so that she didn’t see it a mess and then I’d clean after she left because she didn’t do it my way. Does he know me or what?
Yesterday we worked around the drain in the backyard. I got bitten by some sort of bug and there was a searing pain. It was swelling. Today we went to Lowe’s Hardware and got more of the blocks, my hand doesn’t hurt any more. I asked Vince if he wanted to work some tonight when that area is in the shade but he said he didn’t. My guess is because of the humidity (which to me really isn’t that bad)
Vicki – I am beside excited to see PJ next week. I can almost cry.
Allie – “once a mom always a mom”. I remember Bryan one time asking when I was going to stop worrying. I told him “get used to it because when I die I’m coming back from the grave to worry about you”. Yea for Tracey. Be sure to take care of yourself.
Vince bought this lamp of cats. I just said to him “where are we going to put it?” He pointed to this place in his office where there’s a lamp that his mother made the lampshade for. Really, he complains about the cost of a hotel yet buys this lamp that we really didn’t need. Admitted, the lamp was probably less than the hotel for one night, but still….. That’s why I turned a deaf ear to the hotel-cost.
Debbie – love your coffee cup!
I deal with my mail immediately, too.
Galrayne – what Karen said about the lift. I would keep asking management when it will be fixed. I have a flotation belt that I used to use in the deep water when I took the water aerobics class in the deep end. How deep does your pool go? Maybe you can use one of those so there’d be no pressure at all on your legs
Took my sewing machine in to be fixed about a month ago. For some reason, the presser foot was REALLY hard to lift. It’s not like I do a lot of sewing, but it’s good to have if I need to fix a seam or something. So I got it fixed. The machine is probably about 40 years old. Hope it lasts another 40. It just wasn’t worth it for me to buy a new machine, it’s not like I use it a lot. So picked that up today.
My aunt had made (hand) a quilt for Vince & me before she could no longer see. I took that there along with this start of a quilt that my MIL had and wondered if there was some way to sew that on top of the quilt my aunt made. To somehow represent both families. So I’m having them quilt it and will probably give the quilt to Jess since she and MIL seemed to have a special bond. I also had these squares that were in her things so they’re going to put the squares together for me and make a quilt. Yes, it’ll be a couple hundred dollars. To me, its’ worth it. Quilting is one hobby that I absolutely hate to do. I’ll do most other crafts but I hate quilting. The one I’d like to put on top of my quilt is a double wedding ring. But they say it really can’t be done. I know Denise would never appreciate it, Jess probably would
pip – I’m glad I very seldom use that feature. Wonder what else they’re going to take away?
Katla – some times people don’t understand the ramifications of some of their actions. You absolutely need to have a talk with your daughter
rosemarie – I tried pickleball down at our condo. It’s fun, but the problem I had is that it does require some coordination.
Michele NC4 -
Karen - the one time $250000 is a biggie, except when you live in California. My house which is 1/3 the size of my mom's gained over $250,000 in value over the last 5-6 years. And my mom and dad bought the house in 1966.
Kim in N. California3 -
We are having a quiet day today. I had a chat with a woman who lives across the hall. She has set up a lovely display of old & antique furniture and attractive artificial flowers. 🌺 🌸 🌼2
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Belated welcome @AthleteLori near Chi. Hope to see pics of Lilo, Zed and Jax, oh and Lena too if you wish
Just skimmin’ but had to say Tracey that “Dear Diet” meme made me laugh right out loud, as did 1derland99’s DiddlySquats.
Through pg 33
Done:8/15: Move: 0.5 set pt, active mins:174 steps:8950Lighter, lovelies!
Fuel: plants (running count for week) +11+1 so far: artichoke, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, corn, green beans, jalapeno, onion, pineapple, potatoes, romaine, snap peas. CI<CO=521
Live: readings, BP, road trip w/C&T Circles in the Sand, Shore Acres.
Wt: 141.1
8/14: Move: 1.75 sets pt. active mins:299 steps:7517
Fuel: plants (running count for week) +11 so far: artichoke, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower, corn, green beans, jalapeno, onion, pineapple, potatoes, snap peas. CI<CO=460
Live: Joe, readings, road trip w/C&T: Dragonfly Farmers’ market, Bandon shopping , dinner at Lord Bennet’s.
Wt: 140.7
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2022: Be still and listen.
August: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
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Karen and Machka, way to go on the weight loss! Yay!
Annie in Delaware1 -
Katla, I wonder if part of the stipulation, living at husbands care facility is that you give up rights to drive. I mean for some in a care facility, its a safeness factor, from themselves and people out on the road. But for spouses that's a whole other issue. If you are ok to drive, and have been given the ok by DMV to do so, then its your right to reclaim ownership of the car, not your daughters decision. I hope it gets all ironed out friend! The lady across the way sounds like quite a character. Hugs!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa1 -
580
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