WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2022
Replies
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Stats for the day-
Walk/slow jog w/yogi- 1hr 29min 50sec, 103elev, 4.06ap, 117ahr, 159mhr, 6.05mi= 592c
Strava app = 741c
Zwift home bike trainer- strava stats- 15.45min, 154elev, 100aw, 19.5amph, 101ahr, 119mhr, 5.11mi= 100c
Strava app = 90c
Zwift stats- 15.50min, 156elev, 99aw, 42arpm, 19.40amph, 5.12mi= 90c
Total cal 692
Didn’t go to the gym, after a quick ride, had to make more doggie treats and type out the recipe2 -
I am sitting with DH in his care facility. He will be here a little linger before joining me in our apartment. I am looking forward to having him with me.8
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Have any of you had a bone density test?
At what age did you get it done.
I asked my doctor about it before and she said I was too young. I asked her today and she said we will do it when I am 65. (I asked because both my parents have/had osteo)
Have to wait five more years to have it done
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I can't quite figure out if the difference is simply the individual differences between us all in outlook, or in financial wherewithal, or the urban / rural divide - but I cannot even imagine moving into an apartment where strangers take care of me...
Please don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I think it's wrong, nor that it is in any way a bad thing--but my daughter has already informed me that she will be caring for me and then her dad as a something she expects to do, and will be proud to do. (Her brother gave away a dog just recently as too much responsibility, so there's that.) Personally, I hope to be able to walk off into the woods and have a panther eat me or something else interesting, but my daughter's outlook on parental care is that of being raised in a very tiny town in Alaska, and it matches my own in many ways, as I grew up in rural Texas.
While not necessarily traditional, my father's eventual fate may not be for the faint of heart:My brother took care of our father until the last few weeks of his life, and had him living in a little house right next to his own... but that was because my sister and I would have cheerfully let the old man die by the side of the road than have him in either of our lives again. In the hospital, a nurse's aide gave him a drink of water after he'd had a minor stroke, he aspirated it into his lungs, developed pneumonia and died. My sis and I went to the funeral to make sure he was dead, mostly. The preacher, having known the family for decades, never spoke his name during the service. The same preacher had given my mother's service five years earlier with tears in his eyes throughout.
Watching you all struggle through these caring decisions for those you love and for yourselves makes it obvious that some of us don't just want these things, we expect these arrangements for our parents, for ourselves, in ways that I genuinely find absolutely both fascinating and utterly foreign...
Just musing in Arkansas,
Love,
Lisa2 -
☘️1
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I was honored to be there for my mom,dad ,mother in law and father in law.. but you all know me by now,thats just who I am..
I sure do hope one of my kids or both want to help me in my older age.. ive tried my best ro help them.. nobody is perfect and after 2 failed marriages ,I am not saying a word.. I take everything a day at a time all we can do..
Check in with ya'll in the morning God willing.6 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »I can't quite figure out if the difference is simply the individual differences between us all in outlook, or in financial wherewithal, or the urban / rural divide - but I cannot even imagine moving into an apartment where strangers take care of me...
Please don't get me wrong - I'm not saying I think it's wrong, nor that it is in any way a bad thing--but my daughter has already informed me that she will be caring for me and then her dad as a something she expects to do, and will be proud to do. (Her brother gave away a dog just recently as too much responsibility, so there's that.) Personally, I hope to be able to walk off into the woods and have a panther eat me or something else interesting, but my daughter's outlook on parental care is that of being raised in a very tiny town in Alaska, and it matches my own in many ways, as I grew up in rural Texas.
While not necessarily traditional, my father's eventual fate may not be for the faint of heart:My brother took care of our father until the last few weeks of his life, and had him living in a little house right next to his own... but that was because my sister and I would have cheerfully let the old man die by the side of the road than have him in either of our lives again. In the hospital, a nurse's aide gave him a drink of water after he'd had a minor stroke, he aspirated it into his lungs, developed pneumonia and died. My sis and I went to the funeral to make sure he was dead, mostly. The preacher, having known the family for decades, never spoke his name during the service. The same preacher had given my mother's service five years earlier with tears in his eyes throughout.
Watching you all struggle through these caring decisions for those you love and for yourselves makes it obvious that some of us don't just want these things, we expect these arrangements for our parents, for ourselves, in ways that I genuinely find absolutely both fascinating and utterly foreign...
Just musing in Arkansas,
Love,
Lisa
In my mom's case, Lisa, she went from independent living in her own home to 24 hour nursing care literally overnight. I am still struggling with this, but we can't take care of her. She needs skilled nursing care. When I am with her on the weekend it is an honor to take care of the needs that I can do: massaging her legs and feet, clipping her nails, shaving her beard, basic adjusting for comfort, cutting/trimming her hair, but I can't do more than that. It is heartbreaking. She can't move on her own, even basic movements.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR8 -
dlfk202000 wrote: »Have any of you had a bone density test?
At what age did you get it done.
I asked my doctor about it before and she said I was too young. I asked her today and she said we will do it when I am 65. (I asked because both my parents have/had osteo)
Have to wait five more years to have it done
Debbie- it seems to me I had at least one when I was in my 40's - 50's, then another one at 65. And I have one scheduled this coming Tuesday.
Are you in menopause? That might make a difference for you. My mom had a broken hip - maybe that's why I was able to get mine done sooner.
You might want to check with your insurance and see what their rules are, maybe that's the holdup.
Lanette
SW WA State
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Worked then out to lunch with the Newcomers. Had a grilled chicken sandwich and in place of the french fries I had these mixed vegetables. Only water to drink
Rebecca – I started MFP in 2009. Yikes! Almost 20 years ago! I’m not that old….lol
Went for a walk around the block, had dinner, then watered the lawn, then got a donation ready to take to the Salvation Army tomorrow. Hopefully, we can take everything (there’s so much)
Ginny – so glad to hear that you’re getting better and better
Karen – looks like a wonderful place you’re moving to
Debbie – I had my first one many years ago because I fractured my ankle and, to be honest, I think the doctor prescribed it for me just to shut me up, I wanted one and she kept insisting that I was too young. Was she ever shocked when it showed that I had osteoporosis! I KNEW something was wrong.
Flea – (((HUGS)))
I’d like to get my BDT every year, but this year I got so much flack, that Medicare only pays once every two years. They have paid every year for the last few year. In the end my MD said he’s fine with me waiting the 2 years. I’m just going to since I know the Prolia is helping.
Off to take a shower and then probably watch some TV
Michele NC4 -
Flea - So many hugs from here, too...
I'm thinking more of retirement apartments and assisted-living communities and care, I guess. They didn't exist where I grew up, and I wouldn't know how to make them part of my future now. Then, there was family, or there was the nursing home, and that was where people went to die. My mother's nightmare was ending up there... something she expressed more than once.
She went as she wished, though--the stroke that ended her life hit as she was taking care of the hummingbirds she loved so much, filling their feeders. Within 24 hours, she was gone. It is my genuine wish to go in similar fashion.
I'm not ready yet.
So much love,
Lisa
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Ss0
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I spent hours with DH today. He is in a nursing facility, and working to get stronger. I expect he will join me in our apartment when he is ready. I hope he will be able to join me soon. ❤️7
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1
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I have been visiting with you ladies almost daily since April 2018.
I started reading that month and Machka kept updating on her husband. I kept coming back to see how he was doing.
I started enjoying others lives too.
Heather and Johnny were trying to buy a house. Lisa was just starting at Guides. So many others. I ended up going back and reading from January before I commented the first time.
It was like reading a book with all of these fascinating characters and I could be part of the story.
I consider you all my friends.
Debbie - I had my bone density when 1 day after I turned 50. The government wouldn’t pay for it before that. I think it’s one of the baseline things they do here routinely.
Machka - I craft, watch tv, listen to music, clean/putter as relaxation. I only schedule something one work night a week and usually try to have time on the weekend to just sit and be.
We have the Grandpup for the weekend. She arrived this evening and will be picked up Sunday. I’ll be just around the house this weekend.
Tracey in Edmonton
I’ll have to catch up on the weekend and tell you all my work woes and a funny Michaela conversation.4 -
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SophieRosieMom wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »Have any of you had a bone density test?
At what age did you get it done.
I asked my doctor about it before and she said I was too young. I asked her today and she said we will do it when I am 65. (I asked because both my parents have/had osteo)
Have to wait five more years to have it done
Debbie- it seems to me I had at least one when I was in my 40's - 50's, then another one at 65. And I have one scheduled this coming Tuesday.
Are you in menopause? That might make a difference for you. My mom had a broken hip - maybe that's why I was able to get mine done sooner.
You might want to check with your insurance and see what their rules are, maybe that's the holdup.
Lanette
SW WA State
went through menopause back in my early 40's.
I will ask the doctor again- my friend that works at Kaiser said I may have to almost demand having one now, instead of asking if I can get one now.2 -
💞1
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LisaInArkansas wrote: »I can't quite figure out if the difference is simply the individual differences between us all in outlook, or in financial wherewithal, or the urban / rural divide - but I cannot even imagine moving into an apartment where strangers take care of me...
Just musing in Arkansas,
Love,
Lisa
Whereas, I can hardly wait! Being taken care of sounds wonderful!
But it would have to be in Canada. Australia's facilities aren't as good as Canada's from the bit I have seen.
And believe me if my husband starts deteriorating from where he is, as they predict he will, I'll be looking at options as Karen has.
I'm 55 and my husband is older. If it weren't for the fact that he loves the garden and it gives him something to do, I'd be actively looking for a 55+ housing community to start the process!!
Unfortunately, as I mentioned, Australia hasn't really grasped the concept as well as Canada has yet. There are 55+ housing communities but, again, from what I've seen, they aren't as nice as I'd like. So fortunately, we are still able to stay where we are for now.
My grandmother went through the whole process.
She lived in a large house and took care of my grandfather and great grandmother until they passed away.
Then she downsized to a 2-bedroom apartment in an adult apartment building -- no children.
Then she moved into a 1-bedroom independent apartment in an assisted living building. They had medical professionals on staff but only if you needed them. Dinners were provided and could be taken in a dining hall or in your own apartment. Pretty much everything else was up to you.
Then she moved into a studio apartment in the same building, with a bit of medical attention ... and then with more attention.
Then she had a fall, and my aunt and uncle took her until she was able to move into complete care in the hospital. The bit from the fall till the end happened fairly quickly.
She passed away at 97 years old and was quite independent until about 96 years old.
That process works for me.
M in Oz
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SophieRosieMom wrote: »Good morning ladies!
From time to time, the topic of FOMO comes up here. Fear of Missing Out.
This popped onto my FB page this morning:
Being a party pooper isn't pathological after all.
Make it a fabulous day!
Lanette
SW WA State where it's still sunny with days in the high 70's and 80's. Rain dance is anticipated to produce results in a week.
Love it!3 -
Feeling a bit fragile this morning. I was out last night (first time in months) celebrating a friends birthday. I only had one drink, but a combination of late eating and a late night has given me a headache. It was good to catch up with everyone, the birthday girl was 50 (the youngest of the group). These are friends from Nestle - most of them have left or retired but we still keep in touch every few months or so. There were 8 of us last night, two were no shows due to illness. We are hoping to get together again for a Christmas meal, but it's always hard to get anywhere booked for a large party. To be honest, I prefer smaller groups, I get a bit overwhelmed with too many people.
Going to get a painkiller and something to drink. Need to catch up on a few pages, I don't want to get too far behind, I can never catch up
Take care & love to all
Viv UK
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I am on holidays for the next 17 days.
We had plans to travel to northern Tas for cycling. We had a weekend of cycling events planned in a week's time, plus a lot of cycling on our own, however ...
... parts of Tasmania have had as much as 400 mm (16 inches) of rain in 24 hours in the highlands. The last 48 hours in general have been extremely wet throughout the north.
Several towns are flooded. Several more on evacuation notice. Over 120 roads are closed. Bridges are in imminent danger of being washed away.
It's one of the worst floods the area has seen, and they think the worst may be yet to come as the water in the highlands comes rushing down to the flatlands toward the ocean.
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-10-14/evacuation-order-in-place-for-parts-of-northern-tasmania/101532604
So, our plans are on hold.
M in Oz
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So sorry Machka. For you and your plans, but, of course, for the so many people whose lives have been torn apart by this flooding event. So much misery.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx2 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »So sorry Machka. For you and your plans, but, of course, for the so many people whose lives have been torn apart by this flooding event. So much misery.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
I'm not that disappointed about our plans. I was already formulating Plan B when I heard this system was moving in.
I'm now in the process of cancelling the cycling event because it has been confirmed that at least one of the roads we use will be closed for at least a week while the road and the bridge are assessed. And that's just one of many roads.
But more importantly, there is a lot of destruction and disrupted lives. And a lot of work ahead of so many.
M in Oz5 -
dlfk202000 wrote: »Have any of you had a bone density test?
At what age did you get it done.
I asked my doctor about it before and she said I was too young. I asked her today and she said we will do it when I am 65. (I asked because both my parents have/had osteo)
Have to wait five more years to have it done
I am 68 and had my first bone density test last year. I don't have the same familyl history you have. My test was normal for age.
Karen in Virginia2 -
Snowflake1968 wrote: »Machka - as I was reading your kidney stone experience I was picturing the university and hospital here as I knew you went there. I also pictured that long drive from south of here. Scary.
Tracey in Edmonton
Yep!
I've had a few scary drives on that road, especially in winter! But that one topped the charts for most painful drive!
M in Oz
0 -
Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Murder She Wrote was a favorite show of mine, so I noted Angela Lansbury's passing. Sundays have not been the same for me since the show left that time slot. I think I use to really relax during the show and have not relaxed on Sunday night since. I did walk today and my husband seems to be doing okay.
Time for sleep as tomorrow is another dayd!
Murder She Wrote comes on TV here at 5:30 pm on week days. Quite often I'm not home from work till nearly 6 pm, so I don't watch it, but occasionally I get home earlier and will turn it on. Today was one of those days.
I've always liked Murder She Wrote.
M in Oz
2 -
LisaInArkansas wrote: »I can't quite figure out if the difference is simply the individual differences between us all in outlook, or in financial wherewithal, or the urban / rural divide - but I cannot even imagine moving into an apartment where strangers take care of me...
Just musing in Arkansas,
Love,
Lisa
Whereas, I can hardly wait! Being taken care of sounds wonderful!
But it would have to be in Canada. Australia's facilities aren't as good as Canada's from the bit I have seen.
And believe me if my husband starts deteriorating from where he is, as they predict he will, I'll be looking at options as Karen has.
I'm 55 and my husband is older. If it weren't for the fact that he loves the garden and it gives him something to do, I'd be actively looking for a 55+ housing community to start the process!!
Unfortunately, as I mentioned, Australia hasn't really grasped the concept as well as Canada has yet. There are 55+ housing communities but, again, from what I've seen, they aren't as nice as I'd like. So fortunately, we are still able to stay where we are for now.
My grandmother went through the whole process.
She lived in a large house and took care of my grandfather and great grandmother until they passed away.
Then she downsized to a 2-bedroom apartment in an adult apartment building -- no children.
Then she moved into a 1-bedroom independent apartment in an assisted living building. They had medical professionals on staff but only if you needed them. Dinners were provided and could be taken in a dining hall or in your own apartment. Pretty much everything else was up to you.
Then she moved into a studio apartment in the same building, with a bit of medical attention ... and then with more attention.
Then she had a fall, and my aunt and uncle took her until she was able to move into complete care in the hospital. The bit from the fall till the end happened fairly quickly.
She passed away at 97 years old and was quite independent until about 96 years old.
That process works for me.
M in Oz
Works for me, too.
It's our preference to arrange for our senior care independent of our children. I wouldn't be doing it quite this soon if not for the deterioration of my spouse. I love where we currently live, on a pond in a nice house. I'm a procrastinator. My spouse's disability has served as the catalyst to set me in motion.
Karen in Virginia
9 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »So sorry Machka. For you and your plans, but, of course, for the so many people whose lives have been torn apart by this flooding event. So much misery.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
I'm not that disappointed about our plans. I was already formulating Plan B when I heard this system was moving in.
I'm now in the process of cancelling the cycling event because it has been confirmed that at least one of the roads we use will be closed for at least a week while the road and the bridge are assessed. And that's just one of many roads.
But more importantly, there is a lot of destruction and disrupted lives. And a lot of work ahead of so many.cityjaneLondon wrote: »Tracey - funny how we don't do the things right next to us, unless we have visitors who want to go. I still, haven't been up the i360. The old tram would be a fun trip for the kids. ???
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
One of the things that has gone hand-in-hand with cycling over the years is that I've been able to visit many of "the things right next to us" by cycling there. It's great to have a destination.
Plan B involves doing day trips to visit places we haven't gone recently, and of course, to bring our bicycles with us. And maybe hiking shoes too.
M in Oz
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KetoneKaren wrote: »LisaInArkansas wrote: »I can't quite figure out if the difference is simply the individual differences between us all in outlook, or in financial wherewithal, or the urban / rural divide - but I cannot even imagine moving into an apartment where strangers take care of me...
Just musing in Arkansas,
Love,
Lisa
Whereas, I can hardly wait! Being taken care of sounds wonderful!
But it would have to be in Canada. Australia's facilities aren't as good as Canada's from the bit I have seen.
And believe me if my husband starts deteriorating from where he is, as they predict he will, I'll be looking at options as Karen has.
I'm 55 and my husband is older. If it weren't for the fact that he loves the garden and it gives him something to do, I'd be actively looking for a 55+ housing community to start the process!!
Unfortunately, as I mentioned, Australia hasn't really grasped the concept as well as Canada has yet. There are 55+ housing communities but, again, from what I've seen, they aren't as nice as I'd like. So fortunately, we are still able to stay where we are for now.
My grandmother went through the whole process.
She lived in a large house and took care of my grandfather and great grandmother until they passed away.
Then she downsized to a 2-bedroom apartment in an adult apartment building -- no children.
Then she moved into a 1-bedroom independent apartment in an assisted living building. They had medical professionals on staff but only if you needed them. Dinners were provided and could be taken in a dining hall or in your own apartment. Pretty much everything else was up to you.
Then she moved into a studio apartment in the same building, with a bit of medical attention ... and then with more attention.
Then she had a fall, and my aunt and uncle took her until she was able to move into complete care in the hospital. The bit from the fall till the end happened fairly quickly.
She passed away at 97 years old and was quite independent until about 96 years old.
That process works for me.
M in Oz
Works for me, too.
It's our preference to arrange for our senior care independent of our children. I wouldn't be doing it quite this soon if not for the deterioration of my spouse. I love where we currently live, on a pond in a nice house. I'm a procrastinator. My spouse's disability has served as the catalyst to set me in motion.
Karen in Virginia
Yes, I think we (my husband and I) would rather be the ones making the decisions about where we live and the type of care we get, rather than family members who don't know us very well.
M in Oz2 -
Karen - My heart goes out to you. I truly dread the inevitable deterioration that comes with age, or accident, or illness. I still have to somehow get DH to do something about POA. I'm finding myself putting off having that discussion again as he was so hurt and upset last time.
I intend to do all I can to keep myself healthy, but I know a lot of it is a lottery. My dream is to live into my 90s, independent and healthy and then suddenly pop off. That is extremely unlikely to happen, but DH and I exercise and eat every day with that goal in mind.
I would put him in a home if he substantially deteriorated. I do not have any carer genes. There are a few nursing homes just around the corner, so regular visiting is happily possible. If I deteriorate, I hope to have enough wits left to exit this world before I'm at the stage when I don't have any choice. I definitely do not want to be kept alive. The idea of impotence terrifies me.
Neither do I want to be with old people. Ugh. We consider ourselves bright young things. I really do feel younger than I did in my 40s. I have so many adventures to go on, not least in my writing and developing a bigger profile. Having spent so many years in a mental mess, life is just beginning for me.
I also believe our grandchildren keep us young. Seeing life through their eyes is a constant adventure.
I love your apartment, Karen, and fully understand your reasons. I would just resent the financial commitment. Renting has always seemed like wasted money and so insecure. I am open to having help in our home. I just have to get DH to see that one day he may not be in a state to make his own decisions and others, including me, may have to make the best decisions for him.
I watch a lot of programmes about the health service, and the terrible difficulties old people have in coping at home and accessing services, breaks my heart. They are living lives of quiet desperation. No thank you.
With all my love and compassion for you wonderful carers out there. I truly appreciate you.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx2
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