WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2022

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  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Flea, I'm so sorry you have lost your friend.
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,645 Member
    Rebecca - thinking of you and sending warm (gentle) hugs! <3 I was going to mention yesterday - make sure you have a "cough pillow". Just something firm to hold against your belly for the first few days when you cough to keep pressure there, it really helps cut down on pain from the incisions.

    The surgeon/nurse has probably already told you about this for aftercare.

    The hospital gave me one (volunteers made and donated them for this purpose) and I still have it. It's about 12" square and doesn't compress more than about 4" when you hug it tight. It's perfect to balance the laptop on, lol. I think a tightly folded large bath towel would serve the same purpose.

    Karen - hope you can get a diagnosis for your spouse, and how fortunate you are moving to an apartment with a better setup for her. And very glad your brother is settling in. I'm curious about those Daily Harvest meals - just the name sounds yummy. I signed up for "Meals on Wheels" when DH was alive but never ordered any as we were both picky eaters, but every once in a while I wouldn't mind a "cafeteria meal" - meatloaf, mac and cheese, roll and fruit cup type of thing. I'll keep an eye on their menu.

    You might have something with that Roundup. In the final couple years of my dad's life, he developed Parkinson's according to his doctor. Main symptom was uncontrolled drooling though - no other problems. Years of exposure to farm chemicals perhaps.

    Tracey - great decorating job, your home looks so festive and cozy. <3 I thought about getting a tree this year, cheap looking artificial ones are over $70 at Walmart, don't think it's worth it. I've put up a couple wreaths on the front door and shop already. Next handyman adventure is figuring out how to use DH's cordless drill to drive in a screw between the garage doors to hang another wreath. :D Wish me luck!

    Flea - great news on your check-up. <3

    Vicki - so glad you are feeling better. The "Thanksgiving crud" is hitting several people I know. My brother in N. Indiana had it, and my next door neighbors were also sick over Thanksgiving and still are. I took over covid tests for them yesterday and told them I'd be glad to do a store run for them if they need it. Sounds like the ER and Urgent Care in our community are swamped right now.

    Pip - Also sending healing vibes your way. Your comment about another husband got me thinking. If Kirby knocked on my door, I'd say "I do" in a heartbeat, lol. Please tell me he has a younger brother. :p Seriously, you never know, right?

    That's it for now. Waiting for some snow to arrive. Had brief flurries yesterday afternoon right after a hailstorm, lol. Both melted quickly.

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State





  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,592 Member
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    KetoneKaren wrote: »
    a diagnosis would be helpful, but so far none is forthcoming from her neurologist.
    Karen in Virginia

    Has she had a neuropsychological assessment?

    You should have answers with one of those.


    M in Oz

    Yes, she has! Good thought!

    Details in spoiler: (long and boring, feel free to skip):
    This month, she is seeing a movement disorder specialist for the first time.

    She has been evaluated by a neurologist, neuropsychologist, general internist, rheumatologist, endocrinologist, ENT/Balance specialist, and cardiologist. She is up to date on all screening tests for age and has had brain MRI, evoked potentials, EMG, EEG, event monitor, etc. Even so, there are a few tests/evaluations that she hasn't had. I am thinking of asking if a neuropharmacology assessment might clarify whether any of her medications are contributing to her movement disorder, gait and balance issues, and short term memory loss. She has some of the manifestations of Parkinson's, but certainly is not presenting classically, and her MRI showed no evidence, although she has not yet had a DaTscan.

    I know it sometimes takes time and lots of evaluations to pin down diagnoses. Nonetheless, it is hard not to know what is wrong and wonder if an accurate diagnosis would make a difference in treatment and outcome. I understand the reluctance to diagnose Parkinson's without solid evidence. It seems to me a trial of treatment for Parkinon's, even without a definite diagnosis, might be in order, given the progression in her signs & symptoms.

    I am grateful we are moving into an apartment. The entire fiasco last year with the bait & switch that caused us to run run run from the other CCRC and the cottage we were so close to occupying was, in retrospect, a bullet dodged, because there is no way she could have walked from a cottage to the pool, communal dining areas, etc. without help or transportation. Where we are moving, although it is a challenge and requires a rest stop along the way, she can use her rolling walker to go to the dining area, lobby, pool, mailbox, etc.

    I really think she will be given a diagnosis of Parkinson's at some point. Though I dread that diagnosis, it would, in actuality, be a relief to get on with treatment and support for Parkinson's. I should also mention that she was a fan of Round Up, and in my opinion, had significant exposure.

    I am reminded of my 16-year-old grandson, who has autism. He was 12 before he was finally given that diagnosis, and since then, all kinds of doors have been opened for him, he is treated with dignity by his teachers for the first time, and he is thriving. Prior to that, he was seen by countless behavioral and neurological specialists, took all kinds of tests, and was given all kinds of diagnoses, including oppositional defiance disorder (which has a negative connotation, and he does not, in fact, have). He had such a rough time in elementary and middle school because of not being properly diagnosed. His teachers were, for the most part, irritated with him. When he was 10, I confronted my DIL (gently) and said simply, "he has autism, and it is doing him no favor to avoid that diagnosis". She said, to my surprise, "I know". She took him to a Faison center where his diagnosis was confirmed. My son got on board, thank goodness. When his parents told my grandson of his diagnosis, he said, "Well, that explains a lot". :) And I completely agree with him. It explains a lot.

    At least in the USA, certain diagnoses, like autism and Parkinson's, are avoided until the writing is written on the wall in large bold red letters, to the detriment of the sufferer. Quality of life for my grandson and for my spouse are far more important than any stigma or fall-out from their diagnoses.


    Karen in Virginia

    Sorry you haven't had a firm diagnosis.

    My husband has gone for several neuro psych assessments - 3 or 4 of them.

    Each one is very clear and fairly consistent, even with different psychologists, and his MRIs continue to show the same damage.

    I say fairly consistent because he improved slightly between the 1st and 2nd in certain areas, and has deteriorated slightly in others. Nothing unexpected.

    But not all brain-related issues are that clear.

    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,592 Member
    30 Days of Gratitude
    ccz3itve5r6y.png

    1. Smell - freshly cut grass on our lawn.
    2. Technology - the amazing advancements in medical technology.
    3. Colour - blue. Beautiful blue sky peaking through the clouds.
    4. Food - soup. That's what I've been eating just recently because there's less chewing. We always keep a few cans of soup on hand for situations like these.
    5. Sound - my music. I've recently acquired a number of nature sounds CDs with music playing along with sounds of ocean waves, birds, and so on. Lovely.
    6. Nature - I love nature. It would be incredibly difficult for me to pick just one thing. I am so grateful that there is nature and that I can enjoy it.
    7. Memory - Winter 2017. The last time I visited my parents and a wonderful 1-month holiday to Canada that June/July. My husband and I did two cycling events and a lot of other cycling. We climbed mountains and explored a glacier. We visited friends and family.
    Memories:
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/machka-bb/albums/72157682899188730
    8. Book - Norman Doidge's The Brain's Way of Healing. I found it inspirational!
    https://www.normandoidge.com/?page_id=1042
    9. Place - home. I've moved and travelled a lot and home is wherever I happen to feel really comfortable. Right now, home is a certain house here in Tasmania where I can go and just be myself (mostly, for even a little while). Home is where I can lie down on the sofa and doze off when I've had a rough day, like I did yesterday.
    10. Taste - salt. My favourite taste. :) On the one hand I need salt because of my exercise and medications, on the other hand I need to reduce my salt because of my kidneys. But given the choice, I'll usually go salty over sweet ... or maybe salty and sweet!
    11. Holiday - Christmas!!!!
    12. Texture - smoothness. I like smooth clothes, smooth sheets, Rhody's smooth fur ...
    13. Abilities - I don't really think of myself in terms of having abilities. I've sort of thought of myself as "the jack of all trades, master of none". However, organisation is one that I've been thankful for throughout my life.
    14. Sight - the beauty all around. In our yard, where we go cycling, where I work, and travelling around this island.
    15. Season - I like the seasons in the following order from best to worst: Summer, Autumn ............ Spring ................... Winter.
    16. What about your body are you grateful for? Healing ... that it heals. Mostly anyway, and perhaps imperfectly, but healing does take place.
    17. What knowledge are you grateful for? Everything I do know. It all contributes to my work, my carer role, and my other activities.
    18. Piece of art - of the arts, I think the two I appreciate the most are literature and music. On the subject of music, I have really appreciated discovering ABC Classic FM on the radio and the app on my phone. I pop in my earbuds at work and I can focus on my work while feeling relatively relaxed at the same time. :)
    19. Touch - Rhody's fur, his little wet nose, his whiskers
    20. Who in my life - my husband. I'm glad he is still in my life. My parents who have always been supportive.
    21. Song - He Is -- Mark Schultz. One of several songs that has been with me through the difficult times.
    22. Story - I'm grateful that there are so many stories! I love reading. It provides me with a much-needed distraction.
    23. Tradition - I like the little traditions of Christmas. :)
    24. Challenge - all the long distance cycling I've done over the years! :)
    25. What moment this week are you most grateful for? Now. The start of a 3-day weekend! I'm taking Monday off.
    26. What form of expression ... the written word. I like being able to communicate non-verbally through emails, facebook, etc. :)
    27. What small thing that I use daily am I grateful for? ...
    Is my bed small? It's a twin ...
    My pillow? Having discovered good pillows, I can hardly sleep on any other pillow.
    My laptop! That would probably be the one. :)
    28. Small thing that happened today ... I got to rest and get a few things done. Plus I got to watch Murder She Wrote!
    29. Friend/family member - my parents who have been so supportive all the way along, even from a long distance.


    Machka in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,592 Member
    All the best Rebecca!
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,086 Member
    Morning ladies
    Over with Miles ,Tracy getting ready for work...like I said taking Carmine for haircut with me this afternoon.
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,285 Member
    Good morning ladies!

    I think it's best to be cautious about the idea of remarrying. That said, I do have a dating site profile and I go out to lunch with strangers once in awhile. I'm still looking for my Kirby or Johnny or other Mr. Right. But it would actually be awkward to find him right now because of my caretaker responsibility. So I'm rather dubious that it would work out.

    As far as who ends up being a caretaker for whom, it's a crapshoot. All you can do is notice how a man behaves when he is sick. Does he turn into an entitled monster like my ex? Or does he quietly do what he can and politely ask for help like an adult? There's a lot of negotiation in caregiving, so that's something to think about. My parents are cheerful, thoughtful people even when sick, and that makes a huge difference.

    Meanwhile I am trying not to move my shoulder and reading about a new version of the Mediterranean diet that includes frozen cubes of duckweed. I think I will be fine with my half cup of spinach a day.

    Today is a great day to fuel our bodies well!
    Have a good day,

    Annie in Delaware
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,246 Member
    1313
    Machka9 wrote: »
    pipcd34 wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    KJLaMore wrote: »
    Hey all. Good conversations!
    Weight loss/healthy choices- Making healthy choices like planning meals, meal times, exercise takes work. I think that is why my weight and habits fluctuate up and down, up and down, over and over. Months ago, Barbie shared how she figured out exactly how much "free" time she had each day/week, by writing down everything she did. I found out that I have 32 hours of free time each week (sleeping time is not free time). I have days and weeks where I can use that time efficiently and get things done or just relax. Some days/weeks that time is eaten away by caring for my DH. Some days/weeks that time is spent caring for myself. I know the weight that I have to lose will come off, as soon as I have the energy and heart to put into it. Some days I am there; some days I am not. I am hoping my upcoming trip will keep me on the better choices path and using my "free" time wisely.
    caregiving- If my DH goes before me, I will not remarry. I might date. I might have a relationship. I might gift myself a toy and some alone time. BUT, I will not remarry. I have never had time to myself. I really think I need that. I have cared for many lifetimes worth of people. I just want time to care for myself. It feels selfish to think and as I read it, it looks selfish to see in print; but I think every one needs some point in their life to think about themselves and put themselves first. I was just going to say, "I'm not Mother Teresa". But even Mother Teresa did what she WANTED and was where she WANTED to be. Her choices. Mine aren't as noble, but if I don't take care of me, who will?

    Regarding free time ...

    We have 168 hours in the week.
    If we sleep 8 hours a night, that's 56 hours.

    168 - 56 = 112

    My time from when I get up in the morning to get ready for work until I get home from work is 10 hour a day 4 or 5 days a week = 40-50 hours. Lunch can be sort of free time, but I'm often running errands or attending appointments. I consider it a good week if I can get 1 or 2 lunches where I don't have something to do.

    112 - 45 = 67

    Then there's walking Rhody and dinner. Walking Rhody is a relaxing time for me but now that he's in the habit, it must be done. That usually takes up 1.5 hours a day, 7 days a week = 10.5 hours.

    67 - 10.5 = 56.5

    Then there's housework, evening Zoom meetings, cycling club stuff, legal stuff, caring stuff, bills and other stuff that comes up and needs to be dealt with. I would guess I spend about 3 hours a day 7 days a week on that stuff = 21 hours a week.

    56.5 - 21 = 35.5 hours

    In those 35.5 hours, I work on my organising and simplifying projects, I work in the garden, I ride my bicycle, walk, run, row, do pilates and/or lift weights, and I colour.

    Like you, I have days and weeks where I can use that time efficiently and get things done or just relax.
    And some weeks are busier than others with caring, legal stuff, cycling club stuff, etc. This past week was a cycling club week, for example.


    Regarding remarrying ... I also have absolutely no intention to remarry. I hope my husband will live on for many years yet, but when the time comes, I imagine myself moving into an independent living apartment (if I'm not there already) and amusing myself by returning to university to take another course ... or travelling. :)


    Machka in Oz

    Lolol, intention on remarrying is one thing, what actually happens in the future is another. Here I am 4 marriages later when I had every intention on making my 1st marriage my only marriage

    :)

    I was single for 10 years between my first and second. I decided that was what I wanted to do and I liked that. I would want to do at least that again and by then I'd probably be too old and tired for another relationship.

    M in Oz

    I was single for 8 years between my 1st and second marriage, lolol
    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    Rebecca - thinking of you and sending warm (gentle) hugs! <3 I was going to mention yesterday - make sure you have a "cough pillow". Just something firm to hold against your belly for the first few days when you cough to keep pressure there, it really helps cut down on pain from the incisions.

    The surgeon/nurse has probably already told you about this for aftercare.

    The hospital gave me one (volunteers made and donated them for this purpose) and I still have it. It's about 12" square and doesn't compress more than about 4" when you hug it tight. It's perfect to balance the laptop on, lol. I think a tightly folded large bath towel would serve the same purpose.

    Karen - hope you can get a diagnosis for your spouse, and how fortunate you are moving to an apartment with a better setup for her. And very glad your brother is settling in. I'm curious about those Daily Harvest meals - just the name sounds yummy. I signed up for "Meals on Wheels" when DH was alive but never ordered any as we were both picky eaters, but every once in a while I wouldn't mind a "cafeteria meal" - meatloaf, mac and cheese, roll and fruit cup type of thing. I'll keep an eye on their menu.

    You might have something with that Roundup. In the final couple years of my dad's life, he developed Parkinson's according to his doctor. Main symptom was uncontrolled drooling though - no other problems. Years of exposure to farm chemicals perhaps.

    Tracey - great decorating job, your home looks so festive and cozy. <3 I thought about getting a tree this year, cheap looking artificial ones are over $70 at Walmart, don't think it's worth it. I've put up a couple wreaths on the front door and shop already. Next handyman adventure is figuring out how to use DH's cordless drill to drive in a screw between the garage doors to hang another wreath. :D Wish me luck!

    Flea - great news on your check-up. <3

    Vicki - so glad you are feeling better. The "Thanksgiving crud" is hitting several people I know. My brother in N. Indiana had it, and my next door neighbors were also sick over Thanksgiving and still are. I took over covid tests for them yesterday and told them I'd be glad to do a store run for them if they need it. Sounds like the ER and Urgent Care in our community are swamped right now.

    Pip - Also sending healing vibes your way. Your comment about another husband got me thinking. If Kirby knocked on my door, I'd say "I do" in a heartbeat, lol. Please tell me he has a younger brother. :p Seriously, you never know, right?

    That's it for now. Waiting for some snow to arrive. Had brief flurries yesterday afternoon right after a hailstorm, lol. Both melted quickly.

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State

    Kirby has and older brother (1/2 brother). You wouldn’t want him, nothing like kirby and not even close to being as good looking as him.
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,246 Member
    Whidislander wrote: »
    Its 5:15 am waiting until closer to 5:30/45 to drive to the hospital. Don't have to check in until 6:30 but we can listen to music in the car until then.
    All your well wishes helped. Thank you ladies, love you all!
    Will do some crossword until we leave. Bringing more puzzles to do when I'm waiting. Its a pleasant distraction. Plus keeps my brain firing!😂.
    Easy peasy, I've got this!
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa

    It’ll b a breeze
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,610 Member
    Flea ((hugs)) and condolences for your loss. Thankful for his last hike to the waterfall in the snow.
    Heather why can’t Edie have sticky toffee pudding this year?
    Allie fingers X’d for Wednesdays appointment with new nephrologist.
    Betsy and Kim thanks for your commonsense comments on caregiving and lifestyle changes.
    Rebecca whooshing good thoughts for today’s surgery.
    KJ if not you then who, indeed! Could that be what your body is telling you by making you sick whenever you have a day off?
    Carol an olive chaser for the first bite of sweet? I’ll have to try that! :laugh:
    Tracey the only way I know how to share a video on mfp is to upload it to my YouTube channel, make it so anyone who has the link can see the video, the paste the link here.

    Only through pg 71 but time to snooze.

    Gratitude 27: daily use item=Hot and cold running water. Can not imagine having to haul water in a bucket and heat on a wood burning stove. Those pioneer women were strong!


    Done:
    11/28: Move: 2 sets pt, line dance class steps:7750
    Fuel: plants (running count for month) so far: almonds, apple, artichoke, avocado, beans-cannellini, beans-chili, beans-garbanzo, beans-green, beets, blueberries, broccoli florets, broccoli stalk, carrots, cauliflower, celery, corn on the cob, cherries-dried, cranberries-dried, cucumber, garlic, grapefruit, maraschino cherry, mushrooms, mustard greens, onions, orange, pecans, pineapple, radish, romaine, satsumas, snap peas, snow peas, sweet peppers-orange, sweet peppers-red, tomato-sauce, walnuts, wasabi peas, wheat-pasta/bread, sweet peppers-red, tomato-sauce, walnuts, wasabi peas, wheat-pasta/bread. CI<CO=Y
    Live: Joe, readings, BP, post office, Freddie’s, dog games, cookbook to T, Xmas cards and checks to three of four, filed all papers from top of keyboard. Wt:139.1
    11/27: Move: 2 sets pt, dogs to powerline, Jeopardy walking. steps:6686
    Fuel: plants (running count for month so far: almonds, apple, artichoke, avocado, beans-cannellini, beans-garbanzo, beans-green, beets, blueberries, broccoli florets, broccoli stalk, carrots, cauliflower, celery, corn on the cob, cherries-dried, cranberries-dried, cucumber, garlic, grapefruit, maraschino cherry, mushrooms, mustard greens, onions, orange, pecans, pineapple, radish, romaine, satsumas, snap peas, snow peas, sweet peppers-orange, sweet peppers-red, tomato-sauce, walnuts, wasabi peas, wheat-pasta/bread. CI<CO=N!!!
    Live: Joe, readings, BP, church, Holden Evening Prayer, dog games, ‘nother load laundry. Wt: 138.7
    11/26: Move: 2 sets pt, dog group, Jeopardy walking. steps :8808
    Fuel: plants (running count for month) so far: almonds, apple, artichoke, avocado, beans-cannellini, beans-garbanzo, beans-green, beets, broccoli florets, broccoli stalk, carrots, cauliflower, celery, corn on the cob, cherries-dried, cranberries-dried, cucumber, garlic, grapefruit, maraschino cherry, mushrooms, mustard greens, onions, orange, pecans, radish, romaine, satsumas, snap peas, snow peas, sweet peppers-orange, sweet peppers-red, tomato-sauce, walnuts, wasabi peas, wheat-pasta/bread. CI<CO=
    Live: Joe, readings, BP, two loads laundry. Wt:138.2

    Lighter, lovelies!
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD x8zcp1ya37k1.gif
    2022: Be still and listen.
    November: Move more (7515 steps), fuel better (protein + vegs), live NOW (time with Joe, Tumble and Shadow).
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    edited November 2022
    Rebecca—. I hope your visit to the hospital is positive. I’m thinking of you today. Sending (((HUGS))) and good wishes.

    ❤️ 😘 ❤️ 😘 ❤️ 😘
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,692 Member
    My knee held out. We didn't hang around in the park because it was very damp and wintry, so I'm back in the warm at their house. I make my son turn the heating on for us! Their new apartment has communal heating, which is on, even though they are not renting until January, and it is boiling! All included in the rent!

    Bea has open air swimming this evening! The pool is heated, but ...... :o
    DH is busy playing cards with her. <3

    Barbara - Edie is gluten free. They buy the pudding from the school fund raising stall.

    DH is out tomorrow having lunch with his friend. I decided to schedule my lunch with G for Thursday so that I could enjoy lunching alone. :p I love making my funny food! Spicy Thai soup., probably.

    Did lots of typing this morning. Very old scribbled poems about my ex. I tried to make some sense out of them. Felt quite sad and nostalgic. Then a poem about my best friend when I was a child. I wrote about her in my memoirs. Shirley. The poem is about my conflicted feelings. She died not so long ago of early onset dementia. What a terrible fate for such a vibrant woman.
    So it was quite a trip down memory lane.

    We will be getting a lift near to home. Hooray!

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,692 Member
    edited November 2022
    Karen - ((( HUGS))) Yes, good to know what we are dealing with. But still a hard deal. <3

    Debbie - That is a good catch, but still hard. Good for you for getting it checked out. ✔️ Catching it early is key.

    England v Wales tonight. Big thing. DH watching it in his study. Edie will be staying up.

    Walking home with Bea is always great entertainment. For 6 year old, she is quite extraordinary. (Well, I would say that) She hugged all the trees and called them her friends, talking to them. We did rhyming and stories and songs. Atta gurl!

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,692 Member
    Barbara- I'm hoping she might try out my gluten free Christmas Pudding I made this weekend. ;)
    She is remarkably philosophical about being gluten free. <3 Not sure I could be so happy.

    DH now in his study watching the big match. :o

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,086 Member
    Well im waiting for Carmine to come off the bus..then off to Karens we go.. i have a nasty cold.. took a covid test - negative... thank goodness
    But my nose running like a sieve. Ugh will drop him off afterwards and go home and go to bed.. and take cold meds.

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