WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2023
Replies
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SueBDew-Sorry about your BIL.
Katla-Glad your DH is back nearby.
Kim-You're a trooper for finishing that drive. I think I would have gone back or found somewhere to stay for the night.
Allie-I'm so sorry your family is going through this with Kyle. I'd agree with others that he needs to get help. He likely won't do it until something changes that makes him want to seek help. That might mean Tracey leaving for a while.
Trash-What is it about men not taking out the trash/recycling? Mine seems to be ignorant to that task too. He will toss cans in the recycle and they will fall out immediately, yet he won't do anything with it unless I sit it out and specifically ask him to dump it. It's infuriating.
Neighbor issues. I'm bothered that the neighbor to our rental property wants to re-asphalt the shared driveway. It's keeping me up at night and I hate that. It adds no real value to the property and it's raining buckets! The asphalt will disintegrate by summer in this weather. We also may have to dig it up to repair a plumbing issue, if we didn't get it fixed last fall. We need more time to tell on that. I told her no. She hasn't replied.
It rained all night in southern California. All night the night before too. There is a lull at the moment, but that won't last long. The wind is coming up again. I used the lull to take out the trash!
Have a great week.
Tina in CA7 -
I have always been to medical things alone. It's my preference. I had my gallstones out, my hysterectomy, all my chemo, everything except my breast cancer op entirely alone. I have never had anyone with me for appointments and can't imagine wanting anyone there. I would have to think about them! I do much better by myself and enjoy it.
My friend Ros, who died a few years ago, was the exact opposite. She always took someone with her to appointments and had a rota of friends sit with her during chemo. I was one of them and delighted to do it. It was a privilege. But I can't think of anything worse for myself.
We are all different!
I have noticed that the US is much more likely to have people with them than we are in the UK in general. I don't think we do as much sitting with the person in hospital as you do. Just visiting hours. My brother and I did keep a vigil for my mother's last hours, but it was only a few hours.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Allie ~ How long have Kyle and Tracy been married? Just curious!
Carol in GA1 -
My DH is responsible for the trash in our house.
I do empty my bathroom and bedroom bin into it, but otherwise it's his job. Also recycling. I think that's traditional in the UK. I also have noticed many of you mowing the grass. In the UK that is generally the man's job. Cultural differences are fascinating!
Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Gratitude list
Word of the year: APPRECIATE—- Today I appreciate my long distance friends!1 Sit in silence for three minutes... it's harder than you think—DONE15 Call or text someone you haven't talked to in at least a week—Called my mom, and texted my 3 kids.
2 List 5 things using each of your senses——DONE
3 Let go of at least 5 items in your house—tossed Christmas card I had collected
4 What was your favorite Christmas gift? (this year or ever)—This year was jewelry from my ‘adopted’ granddaughter.
5 Move for at least 30 minutes today—-Done plus #1 again!
6 Share a goal you achieved last year—-Bringing my car to the car wash one or more times a month!
7 Slow down and savor one meal today—-Breakfast-savored the texture of my OUI yogurt versus the granola I added.
8 Who was your favorite teacher—My French teacher in High School. Sister Jeannette
9 Create something today—-I will work on my crochet - making a granny square afghan out of left over yarn.
10 What is your favorite lyric from a song—Against the wind, We were running against the wind. We were young and strong, we were running against the wind.
11 Send a card/note to someone today—Done! Note to DH and card for Uncle’s birthday.
12 What are you looking forward to in 2023? Losing weight and better financial status.
13 Tell a random person they look "good" today—Done!
14 Tell us three amazing things that happened recently (you decide what "recently" means...lol) 1. I got to go to TN to attend my daughter’s wedding last year, My brother from AZ came to visit us in NM, I experienced my first 5.4 earthquake in NM this past December.
16 What made you smile today—-The beautiful scenery on my morning wetlands walk.17 Take a photo of something you're grateful for
18 What material comforts are you most thankful for? You can make your list as long as you like...
19 Write a positive review for a company for goods or services you've received recently
20 Write down five things you like about yourself
21 Pay it forward in some way
22 What do you most desire in your life right now?
23 Go an entire day without complaining
24 What about you makes you special?
25 Spend time with a loved one
26 When was the last time you felt pure joy?
27 Hold the door for a stranger... or a friend
28 What fear have you overcome?
29 Engage in a random act of kindness of your own choice
30 When was the last time you laughed so hard you almost peed?
31 Now try to "meditate" (sit in silence) for ten minutes...
RVRita.
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Sue safe flight to the Celebration of Life for BIL, so sorry for his passing, my condolences to your family.💖🙏
Rori. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY (sorry I had to yell that, but it had to be done)
You girl are NOT 67, you strike me as a 59 yr old , especially because you smile up to your eyeballs.🤗💖
Well here's Athena trying pineapple. She liked it.
I finally made an appt to donate blood. At a church on the island at the end of this month. Its time, I have been negligent for far too long.
Made a dermatology appt but that couldn't be made until June 6th! They only have a couple on the island so beggers can't be choosers.
Husband took the car in to get a thingy that holds the coolant replaced. Hopefully they do not find any more problems. I already shifted moneys to handle it but 1/2 of our savings is gone for that. This has been an expensive month. Both of us are feeling the stress of it all.
hugs
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
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Hi Gals,
Allie – I have a toxic Mom that I have made the choice to stay in relationship with, and do that with counseling.
I would (from my point of view) suggest that counseling for you might make it easier for the entire family.
Granted Tracy and Kyle need to go BUT the only person who can make that choice is Tracy and Kyle.
One of the things that my counselor convinced me to at least try was interacting differently with my Mom, some was boundaries but some was different wording, I use words differently now – instead of getting into the mother-daughter roller coaster I can word things in a way that may not get what I want but allows her to really hear me. I did (and still do) a lot of role playing to get the words, inflection and attitude to come out correctly. I am NOT perfect or even close, but I probably get conversation to work 75% of the time, which compared to about 3-4% is a win in my book. I understand that Kyle’s insurance doesn’t cover counseling, but yours might, or if you do the research you might find some that will do a sliding scale for you.
This is hard to write and will be hard to read, but remember how concerned we all were for you with Tom, and you didn’t leave – that is an example set for Tracy. It took you a very long time to leave Tom, and there were not minor children in the situation – Tracy may do the same. All abuse – physical, sexual, emotional, verbal is abuse and has a immediate and generational affect.
Allie I am saying this with love although I am sure it can be read as if I am being a (word for pregnant dog)
Thanks one and all for the concern about the drive, but truly once I was in it there was no where to go but forward.
Doctors appointments – I also have gone alone, but have gone with different folks at times and wished I had someone with me occasionally but only when I was very sick and felt like I would not remember what I was being told, or be able to process quickly enough to ask the questions that I would need the answers too. Now for all but regular check ups I do go with my mom. I have done the hospital visiting and mostly with folks with lower insurance as there seems to be such varied level of care based on the level of insurance. Something I suspect is not as big of an issue in places with national health care.
Sue, Betsey, Rebecca and others I have missed sending hugs and peaceful thoughts
Smiles Kim in N. California
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If you have to go under anesthesia in this state, they will not allow you to go home alone. They wouldn't allow me to take a taxi. I had to have a friend pick me up to make sure I made it in the house safely. Here, they also generally don't allow you to "walk" out of the hospital. They make you take a wheelchair until you are outside and your ride is there. When the mister got a cortisone shot, they gave him a very mild sedative first and wouldn't even let him walk out of the clinic, which we both thought was ludicrous. I suspect that is because we are such a litigious state/country.
Otherwise, I go alone. My health is mine and I choose to share it or not. It'll be this way until it cannot be.
Tina in CA5 -
I am at the hospital with Jake. He drove the 70 minutes over at 5 AM. They asked who would drive him home and got my phone number. I am sitting with him until the surgery. I could leave but I have nowhere to go. When the surgery happens I'll go to a waiting room and they'll get me when he's out of recovery. I have snacks.and my phone. I have a comfy chair not far from the restroom. The worst part will that I have to drive home
Barbie in NW WA 💖 9 -
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Barbie- will say a prayer for Jake
Kim- thank you for your kind words and i just might and get my antidepressant updated
And I thank you all of my soul sisters for the love ..
Tracy will be 34 next month she got pregnant at 18 with Carmine so they have been together that long but got married in 2018
My weekend was marred with anxiety about all of this ,and Tracy and Kyle put alot of the blame on Carmine..but if they got to the root of why he is the way he is.. there might be a light there..
Where I live I can't have kids live with me because its over 55 place.
But I have to keep reminding myself of the serenity prayer.
Tracy came home and had to go back out and take Kyle meds as he is backtracking because he went back to work..so Miles fell back asleep so Im staying here with him while she went .
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Just saw this on FB ... seems pertinent to the current conversation ...
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Beth that is brilliant!
Allie you can't have the kids live there, but could Carmine spend the night a couple of times a month? It might be a way to give everyone a small break.
Kim7 -
Happy Birthday Rori!!!
God Bless, Sue. Sorry about your BIL, but thankful he's out of his pain. Sending love and prayers to your family.
16 What made you smile today... being selfish, having the day off today.
Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN4 -
SuebDew: (((hugs))) I sympathise with both your feelings. It’s so difficult to watch a loved one suffer like that.
Intentions for today:
♦️10.30am Creative Writing ✔️
♦️2pm Monday Oainters✔️
♦️look out fabric for embroidery journal
♦️solid habits
Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
And from ☘️ TerricityjaneLondon wrote: »
For wonderful Rori.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Margaret--Thanks for the information and I will check when I get home.
Tracey-- So sorry for the news about DFIL. I pray DH gets some time with his dad. How far away do they live? Sending prayers and hugs for all of you.
Kylia--Great you are standing up for yourself at work. Sounds like you did get a lot done. Sending hugs!
KJ--You deserve the spa day!! Happy for you.
Suebdew--Sending prayers and hugs!
Rebecca--Glad you got the package and can use them. Makes me feel so much better than throwing them away.
Katla--Sounds like you and DH are getting to know people and that helps. Happy for both of you.
Kim--How scary a drive. Glad you and Levi are safe.
Sue--Your birthday plans sound fun. Glad you found someone to take care of the home and animals while you and DD are gone.
Allie--I am sure your DD knows you are just trying to help and she knows that something has to change and she is taking it out on you. Prayers for all of you.
Betsy--Hugs. Glad you have memories and friends to help at times like this.
Beth--I got a giggle out of your mom and you being the toasted bagel outlaw. Hope she gets it worked out. Is there someone at the home that would toast a bagel for her when she wants one?
Flea--Hugs.
Tina--I would not let them push you into doing something you are not ready to do and waiting to see the plumbing issue makes sense.
We have another winter storm coming the next couple days. We have been lucky so far and worst of the last several storms have not hit us as hard as they expected. See how this week plays out.
Blessing, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE 6 -
Barbie— I hope Jake’s surgery goes well. ❤️
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Barbie - When DH was in hospital, having a hernia operation, a day procedure under general anaesthetic, I went out for oysters! :laugh: A couple of hours later I walked him out of the hospital and we got a taxi home. I stayed one night with him and then went off on a 'girly' break. His sister came to stay with him, who was a nurse. I think he has forgiven me, but his sister occasionally brings it up!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Elliptical, 21 minutes - Rowing machine, 6 minutes.
Barbie - Hope Jake's surgery is successful and recovery is quick and painfree...
Tina - I prefer to go alone, too. I hate knowing someone's in a waiting room for me.
Allie - Sounds like some talking is going on, and that's a really good thing.
Today has been a very good day - and it's 74 degrees outside. I've got windows open in the house, got my exercising done, and just enjoying a peaceful afternoon. Supposed to be sunny and high 60s tomorrow before the next cold front moves in on Thursday...
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR
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cityjaneLondon wrote: »I have always been to medical things alone. It's my preference. I had my gallstones out, my hysterectomy, all my chemo, everything except my breast cancer op entirely alone. I have never had anyone with me for appointments and can't imagine wanting anyone there. I would have to think about them! I do much better by myself and enjoy it.
My friend Ros, who died a few years ago, was the exact opposite. She always took someone with her to appointments and had a rota of friends sit with her during chemo. I was one of them and delighted to do it. It was a privilege. But I can't think of anything worse for myself.
We are all different!
I have noticed that the US is much more likely to have people with them than we are in the UK in general. I don't think we do as much sitting with the person in hospital as you do. Just visiting hours. My brother and I did keep a vigil for my mother's last hours, but it was only a few hours.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
I go to appointments with my husband because he wouldn't remember much of what happened in the appointment.
But he rarely goes to appointments with me.
And prior to his accident, if I had a surgical procedure, I would take the bus and walk to the hospital, then later he'd pick me up.
When he was in hospital for 100 days, I was only there during visiting hours.
I think it might be a different cultural perspective. My experience in Canada and Australia is that we expect the doctor or hospital will take care of us.
As for growing old alone ... I have never imagined anything else. Both my husbands have been/are quite a bit older than me so I have imagined I'll be one of those little old ladies in a cottage with cats ...
M in Oz7 -
prayers and hugs for all that need them.
Allie- being there for your grandkids and daughter is huge-
Heather- lots of great comments that hit a bit too close to home. Lots for me to think about. Thank you
Finally we have a break in the rain for a few days. Hoping to have a long walk at the wetlands tomorrow and, if I fell up to it after a two hour dentist appointment, I will walk Wed. It will be a shorter walk if I do Wed as Ezie gets out of school 40 min. early every Wed.
It will be great to get out walking again.
Cooked the 12.5 lb ham last night- it was so salty. Soaked some overnight in cold water in the fridge- dh tried some and it is better. Have the bag of sliced(it was a spiral ham but only half was sliced) in water now. The big chunk with the bone will be for the little white Navy beans- will not add any salt to that so should turn out good.
Debbie
Napa Valley, Ca5 -
Stats for the day -
Walk w/family- rain 2hrs 14min 7sec, 44elev, 2.66ap, 96ahr, 123mhr, 6.49ap= 735c
Strava app = 795c
Zwift home bike trainer- strava stats- 15.44min, 72elev, 111aw, 19.3amph, 128ahr, 158mhr, 5.06mi= 172c
Strava app = 100c
Zwift stats- 15.46min, 72elev, 110aw, 61arpm, 19.26amph, 5.06mi= 100c
Total cal 907
*lucy walked the whole distance, didn’t notice any bleeding*
7 -
Debbie - Big hugs.
We have an invitation to see the apartment! Yeah! Saturday afternoon, followed by a walk and ice cream at Marroccos.
Bea tomorrow. We'll have to give her early dinner as my son is picking her up at 5.10 when he gets back from London. He said she loves having dinner at our house, so I will get to it as soon as we get in from school.
Then i will have to ask him the apartment 's address and how to enter!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx6 -
Afternoon ladies
Well I slept for a couple of hours after I got home ,I have an inner ear thing that is bothering me so with the stress of this weekend .. and not alot of sleep oh well.
Good idea Kim...will see if he will go for that.. except i only have 1 bed.
Beth would love to be friends with you on Facebook
Alison G Wagner any of you that would like to friend me that haven't, have at it!!
Going to call my GP to get in to up my antidepressants.4 -
Barbie: Good luck with Jake’s surgery
☘️ Terri1 -
Worked, then went to bowling, then my walk around the block. I need to go to the vet’s so I’ll probably use that as my walk tomorrow. The plan for tomorrow is to do a body pump DVD
Lisa – when I volunteer at the Green Room or at the soup kitchen, many is the time when I have to go to the bathroom or if I can’t go in they don’t have a problem. Well, it’s volunteer. But it does get me out of the house and with people. Just an idea
empeywl – Happy Birthday and welcome! Awesome weight loss and even more awesome that you kept it off. Come back so we can get to know you. You CAN do this, I know.
Sue WA – what a way to celebrate your birthday! Wish I was there.
Allie – Tracey will see the light one day, just as you did with Tom. Just continue what you are doing. God made floors for a reason (having Carmine over). Get an air mattress. Good luck tomorrow
Betsy – HUG
Many times (unless it’s routine) I like Vince to go to the MD with me mainly so that I have a second set of ears to hear what the doc said. Also, sometimes he’ll ask a question that I would have thought of but only later
barbie – good luck to Jake
Michele NC5 -
80801
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Good Evening!
((HUGS))
I have heard the phrase, Make plans and watch God laugh.....well, someone was laughing today and it wasn't me-hehe! It took me 3 hours to finish sorting the Gravely blades and write a few labels. I felt like I was busy fighting fires all day. I never did get to my invoices, but I did put away the echo parts spring order, got it put in the computer, got the upc codes back into computer for the echo stuffs, equipment inventory checked for Echo, and got the Echo spring equipment order put in with the district manager. So it was productive, just not in the way I needed/wanted it to be.
16 What made you smile today-Getting a text from oldest grandson and a call from oldest granddaughter!
Ladies, I carry you all in my pocket all day long.
Hugs!
Love!
Thankful!
Kylia in rainy and cold Ohio3
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