WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2023
Replies
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Ginny - From my perspective, it seems that cold has gone on for weeks, far too long. Hope you're feeling better soon.
Margaret - I really like that image, and the resemblance to Miles is just startling!
Karen VA - It sounds as if you've been doing a LOT of headwork. Don't forget, too, that you are a gift. To your Enie, to us, to your son, to Griffin and Jilli, and even your ex-husband, who you've protected from your son's anger all these years by shouldering that burden of blame for the divorce. You gave your son time to mature, and that is a massive gift. I'm so sorry you lived with all that resentment and anger all these years, and so glad you're here with us.
Katla, dear heart - I am so sorry that the sale of your Oregon home is breaking your heart. No advice, just tremendous sympathy. Knowing its the best thing for you and your husband doesn't help the hurt, and grieving that loss is understandable.
Machka - I quite like your post, this is a similar message I internalized decades ago. It continues to remind me that I have choices.
It's part of my reaction to self-pity on my part. Such a useless emotion, and I genuinely need to stop feeding it.
@Jeepbarbie253 , Barb in Ontario, welcome! You'll fit right in... As far as dwelling on the massive number pounds you and your husband need to lose, it's how we sabotage ourselves, setting goals that aren't useful for our daily lives. You might try setting your goals for a day or a week. The way this thread is set up, it lends itself well to creating goals for a month. Even then, I only set a goal of "being lighter," because the numbers stress me out. If I've gained even a few ounces, I feel I've failed and head for the fridge.
Much love to everyone...
Lisa in AR
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Good morning ladies!
Katla so sorry the time has come to sell your home. It sounds like you are grieving even while you know it's best for you and DH. Such an emotional loss.
Margaret good luck with the blizzard! May you be safe and warm and dry.
Last night when my dad was doing my parents laundry, he remarked that none of it was from my mom. Either she stopped changing her clothes or something else weird is going on. I hate to get into her personal space, but it may be time. She just laughed off the issue, which likely means she has no memory of it. She does change from pajamas to street clothes every day. So where did her dirty clothes go?
Edited to add: Never mind. I peeked in her room and found some. (Yay?) Dad will have to learn to pick them all up.
Annie in Delaware
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Lisa ~ Your message about the two Indians is spot on.
Heather ~ So sorry that John is unwilling to share important information with you about his personal accounts. That is sad.
Allie ~ Love the photo of Miles under the desk with the cat. Reminds me of the photo of JFK jr under the President's desk in the White House.
Lanette ~ Hope you can get your new dishwasher and get the leak fixed soon. I have been using my dishwasher a lot more lately and noticed that the water bill has not gone up that much more.
Katla ~ Know that you are mourning the sell of your house. Hugs!
Trying to get more fiber into our diet is difficult but that's what DH's dr has prescribed.
Carol in GA
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Lanette- my leak under the sink was my faucet. So check that too, especially since you haven't used dishwasher.1
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Carol - a note about fiber supplements - most of them are psyllium fiber, but if that isn't tolerated well, try acacia fiber like "Heather's Tummy Fiber". I buy it on Amazon although I seldom use it these days.
Annie in Delaware3 -
1311310
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Lisa— Thank you for your wise words. I am sad for the loss of my loved home & I understand the importance of a one level home for DH. I miss dear friends in Oregon.
Our adult kids in Illinois and Virginia don’t seem to understand the loss of community and leaving dear friends behind.
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Welcome newbies! (((hugs))) to those who need them.
Kim, you have a good point. Some of the best talks I had with my girls were when we were driving. We both had to pay attention to something else and we could just talk and not get too upset by what was being said.
Oh yeah, Barbara, those sugar gliders are just the cutest, little things. Not for me, but they're just too sweet and Lexi loves hers. She has two and she brings them out to watch tv with her and they cuddle in her sweatshirt and she strokes them. It's quite darling, but they're so tiny! I'd be afraid of losing them.
Wow Karen, talk about appropriate timing! You're finding all sorts of "gifts" all over the place. So happy for you. You're a gift to us too! Thank you for sharing those links.
Good luck Margaret! I'll be thinking about you! We've got one more day off school today for a teacher prep. Snow is supposed to start falling around noon. They're saying we could get upwards of 21" in 72 hours!!! WTHeck?!? We may not have school this week!
--That photo really DOES look like an older Miles, Allie! WOAH!
I'm sorry about your home, Katla. I know the feeling. We've just finally closed on my Mom's home on the lake. It's gone. It's heartbreaking. Sending lots of big (((hugs))) to you.
I think of that wolves message a lot Lisa. So important to know which wolf to feed each day otherwise we get consumed by anger and what's going on inside or outside.
Good luck with getting John to share more Heather. Freddy always says he will and he tells me that it's all "written down in the cabinet", but he never sits down to talk about things. Makes me a little nervous, but I have to admit, I haven't brought it up either, so that's on me.
21-When you recognize someone is struggling, offer words of support... I try, but recognizing is a huge part of it.
Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN5 -
Hi Gals,
So tried the standing stretch it is great but not getting the sore spot for me… DARN thought this might be the ticket. But I do think I will keep it in my routine. It is a bit of a balance test too…and that is good for me.
See that fiber is being discussed and I have to say if I keep my water/herbal tea quantity up and eat about 1.5 times as much fiber as MFP says I need (and not a fiber supplement but actual food) I find that it is easier to keep to calories, not deal with the hungry-ies, and lose weight. For me I the fiber rich food means a huge pile of veggies over a day so I am truly full. This would not work for everyone but it is one more of the choices to try, as we each try to find the system that we can incorporate to make it a lifestyle not a diet.
There is a non-profit group here called “save the redwoods” they do fund raising then buy land that is redwood forest, and help create state or federal parks. They recently bought 700+ acres in Sonoma County and are creating their first park that they will run. I have a friend that is involved with the group she got invited to do a docent lead hike in the park (it is 3-5 years before it will be open to the public) I got to go as her plus one. It was a full day out – as the park is about 2 ¾ hour drive from home we hiked about 3.5 miles and had a picnic lunch. It was nice to get away. It is a mixed forest, Redwoods, California Bay (Umbellularia californica), Douglas fir, and some understory bits. It is not as awe inspiring as a full redwood forest is, but I really liked seeing the mix. The bigger challenge is access, the road is long off the freeway and no services (food, gas, restroom) for about 40 miles and horrible signage. The signage could be fixed – but the other issues are serious too. It will be interesting to hear how this goes.
Smiles Kim in N. California
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Lisa— Thank you for your wise words. I am sad for the loss of my loved home & I understand the importance of a one level home for DH. I miss dear friends in Oregon.
Our adult kids in Illinois and Virginia don’t seem to understand the loss of community and leaving dear friends behind.
Your kids are trying to do what they feel is best to care for you and your husband. It may be that they are overwhelmed with the transition from just being your kids to needing to assist in your wellbeing and decision making processes while still raising families of their own and maintaining their lives and relationships outside of you and your DH. It doesn't mean they don't understand your loss and feel for you.
Okie in the TX Hill Country7 -
Winter storms‐ Stay safe ladies! We have seriously been moderate most of winter other than the negatives at Christmas. Not good for snowblower sales. Lots of rain though.
Technician that did echocardiogram said nothing to note as remarkable. Doctor still has to read. As I said a lot of worry about nothing. Now to get financial stuffs in order.
One step at a time.
Kylia5 -
Katla- I have been in your kids predicament though it was after my dad passed..
Although I did do alot of caretaking of both him and my in laws over the years.
It was not easy by any means and I was stretched thin between work,my 2 kids,there schooling,taking care of a household and a husband..
But I did my best and tried to do it with grace and dignity to all involved.. I can only hope that if and when my time comes my children will do the same.4 -
Word of the year: APPRECIATE; today I appreciate my journal.#2 Practice fairness today by putting yourself in someone else’s shoes: I did this with a camper who I received complaints about. I put myself in his shoes when speaking with him. He was a very lonely man who only had his dogs (one barking, one loose) and the people he meets at campgrounds. Made me more compassionate when talking to him about the dogs.#20. Complement someone today. Ideas include recognizing a great smile or earrings. Did this to a lady who looked angry and tired at Walmart today. Made her happy and smile.
#3 Watch a movie that reminds you of kindness. I watched the Adam Project.
#4 Take a picture of 3 things that make you happy. Send them to a friend. Done!
#5 Be kind to yourself. Self-compassion is equally important. Will do today.
#6 Start a conversation with someone new. I do this every day with the campers!
#7 Consider a current struggle. Write down 2 thoughts that give you comfort. My dog Brownie’s heart trouble. Her spells are getting worse and there is nothing the vet can do. Comforting thoughts—She lived a good life with us. She brought us many days of comfort and enjoyment with her loving attitude.
#8. Consider and celebrate diversity today. I am a white girl living among darker Mexicans and native Americans. Campers come from around the world and love to hear the accents and learn about the different cultures i come into contact with. Do this every day!
#9. Identify a role model who embodies perseverance. Can you find two ways to emulate them? My 30 year old autistic nephew. He never gives up no matter what health challenge he faces. I can emulate him by not complaining about every little ache and pain, and by doing what needs to be done to get through any health issues that may come up.
#10. Check an item off your to-do list this weekend. Working on my taxes.
#11. Make twice as much for dinner and either invite guests or deliver the meal to a friend. We give food to people all the time. My DH cooks and we give food to different campers and workers here at the park almost every day!
#12. Make a list for the week ahead so you stay focused. Done
#13. Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness? After I bough myself a Sonic blast to ‘cool down’.
#14. Express creativity by making art or cooking a new meal. I write in a journal that has writing prompts I have to make up stories for. Yesterday I wrote a short story about a dog leash!
#15. If you are waiting in line today, let someone get in front of you. May not be today, but i did do it on Sunday!
#16. The next time someone does something you appreciate, be sure to let them know. Will do! Didn’t have the opportunity but will watch for a chance today!
17. Offer a helping hand to someone, such as holding a door for a stranger. I may have a chance today.
#18. Share about a recent book you read and what you learned. I just finished reading ‘Everything You Are’ by Kerry Anne King. It dealt with alcoholism, recovery, death, and grieving. I learned that no matter where you are in life, never give up and find a way to celebrate life.
#19. Show sincere appreciation when someone serves you food or drink. Did this today. DH made me pancakes and served me coffee this morning.
#21. When you recognize someone is struggling, offer words of support. I did that yesterday!#22. Ask for help. That’s a simple way to express bravery.
#23. Encourage your teammates to utilize their unique strengths.
#24. Reflect on the steps you have taken to achieve your past goals.
#25. Express gratitude today by thanking someone.
#26. Think about the upcoming work week. How can you apply teamwork?
#27. Send or leave a handwritten thank you note to someone.
#28. Giving constructive feedback is one way to ignite honesty.
RVRita3 -
Morning again, y'all,
I'm starting on my second cup of tea, so I am a little more verbal. Also near complete on the morning chores. Three loads of laundry to play catchup after three days of visitors is a small price to pay.
Missing my daughter and the grands already, and by mid-March, they should all be in Hawaii or about to be. Trying not to think about how long it may be before I see them again. I'm not usually maudlin, but I've been wearing the cardigan I lent her over the weekend because it smells like her hair shampoo. It's comforting.
Kels took me to my gastro appointment yesterday. Nothing changed, just told to keep doing what I'm doing until the colonoscopy in July unless things get worse. Not sure what I was hoping for... but that wasn't it. Ah well.
Talked to my best friend this morning, and we've decided that when we have something to share, we'll call, to yank us out of the habit of talking to each other daily. We developed that during the pandemic lockdowns, and it was a lifeline for us both, I think, as my own illness worsened during that time as well. We had a lot of fears and apprehensions to talk through. Now that everything has settled down a bit, we can go back to our old habit of once or twice a week when we had something we wanted to share. Making even the most beloved action into a task can be wearing.
Confidentially, I was about a microsecond from saying, "I really don't care what you're wearing," as our conversations had devolved to getting her clothing decisions told to me blow-by-blow every morning. I don't talk about mine, because my decisions are the same every day. A t-shirt, hopefully one without a stain, and soft leggings/sweatpants, all of which are black. I did throw a large men's shirt over that concoction yesterday to go to the doctors. This woman has been my friend since 1983, no joke. I never knew that it takes her 20 to 30 minutes to choose what to wear. Every. Day.
Katla, dear heart - I spent nearly 30 years moving from one place to another due to the military life, and another decade of it during my current marriage. Throughout those military years, it was never the place that I missed... it was the people. I asked my daughter this weekend if she thinks of this place as home, and she sounded surprised and said, "Of course!" She has never lived here, but her father and I are her home. You are with the family that you longed for while you lived in Oregon, and you can build a community where you are with your family and those who live around you. Not to say you can't grieve, but turning to the future might help you get through this. What Okie said was spot on, too. Thinking of you, dear.
Got to go--lots of laundry to fold!
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR8 -
Katla - Big hugs for your loss of house and community. Getting old sucks. I hope you can find some new friends and enjoy your family and grandchildren. We have no friends locally, just family, and widespread friends I speak to on the phone. I don't feel lonely, though I would love a local friend. I'm seeing my old schoolfriends on Thursday up in London. I've known them 62 years. Many good wishes for you .
Love Heather ❤️ xxxxxx2 -
End of life I have my and my DH’s end of life (living wills) signed and completed but just can’t get the POA done. DH doesn’t like to talk about it but I know it needs to be done. He has a savings account and our car are in his name only. With he slow moving dementia, (it is getting worse but slowly so I don’t notice as much, but sometimes I do) I really need to get this done. I think I will make the appointment for a notary and just make him go and deal with his grumpiness after.
Moving from longtime friends/family When we moved from CT to TN, it was very hard. I didn’t have many friends in CT, however, but my son had his friends. It was a financial decision and turned out to be the best move for us. I found a BFF there that I’ve had for over 20 years now. I have also reconnected with friends from school and growing up through FB. Our move to NM from CT (after TN to CT move) was also good for us. I wasn’t too sure but it ended up being the best thing for us. It is difficult to do long distance moves, but as they say ‘when a door shuts, a window opens’ meaning other good options open up to you is you just look around.
Went to my gastroenterologist yesterday for my colitis. She wasn’t happy that I had stopped the medicine, but once I figured out my triggers (eggs, seafood, wheat) I stopped the pills and have been regular since (6 months so far) so she moved my next appointment to 9 months out with the option of getting the meds if I need them before then. The one I had is a type of steroid and causes bone loss, so I don’t think I’ll be getting back on that!
Off to do campground chores, walking for 2.5 miles then meditate and yoga for me. House chores and budget (paperwork on computer) for us.
Laters ladies,
RVRita5 -
Lisa ~ Your message about the two Indians is spot on.
Trying to get more fiber into our diet is difficult but that's what DH's dr has prescribed.
Carol in GA
Carol - I know, it can be a challenge upping the fiber. I'm kind of hitting it on all fronts. This is where I'm concentrating:
Fruits- Pears are very high in fiber, eaten with the skin. Like apples, skin on. A couple dried figs and/or dates and/or prunes for a snack. Of course, these are high in carbs, but they are natural carbs and not added sugars so for me, they are OK if I don't overdo it.
Veggies - salads, fibrous foods like kale. Avocadoes have a lot of fiber, and very healthy fat.
Nuts - Again, high in fat but lots of fiber.
High fiber "Keto" wraps - I go to the wrap and tortilla section at the grocery store, many of these have 10 or more grams of fiber, even the smaller & medium sized ones ones. My new favorite way to eat them is to pour a lightly scrambled egg or two into a a non stick skillet, put the lid on for it to "set up" like an omelet, plop a wrap on top, let it cook for another minute or two, then flip it and kind of brown/dry out the tortilla. Then I move it onto a plate, sprinkle with a little cheese or salsa, fold it over and there ya go. Sometimes I even wilt a little spinach or other veggie in the skillet first before I dump in the eggs.
Good luck to you. Some folks are unable to chew apples with the skin on and some salad greens. My DH had to have everything peeled.
Lanette
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Lanette- my leak under the sink was my faucet. So check that too, especially since you haven't used dishwasher.
Kylia - thank you! Good thought. I put a clean paper towel in the little wash pan under the garbage disposal and faucet and will check it daily to see if I can spot where the leak is coming from. My cleaner uses the faucet hose a lot, I normally don't, I just swish water around in the sink and wipe it out with a sponge. I'll have her keep an eye as well.
Something tells me this might have been a slow leak too. I'll put on my detective hat.
Congrats on your heart tests by the way. Crossing fingers there's nothing to worry about.
Lanette
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KetoneKaren wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »fanncy0626 wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »KetoneKaren wrote: »Was it Debbie who mentioned doing piriformis stretches in the shower? Thank you so much, whoever it was. I have had dramatic improvement in flexibility, back/sciatic pain, sitting posture, and stride after just 2 weeks! Wow!
Karen in Virginia
Glad they help. Just a simple stretch but boy does it make a difference. You can do them out of the shower which I do before Zumba class if I remember or during the day if my back is acting up but in the hot shower is so much better. Combination of the hot massaging water with the stretches works great.
Debbie
Could you re-explain how to do them in the shower?? I am also having that type of issue and would like some relief! I know about the ones that you do while you are laying down or sitting up but the shower one sounds like it would work well. What do you actually do?
The stretch I do in the shower is when you stand up, have your feet crossed and slowly bend and touch your toes, trade feet and do it again. Don't know the name of them, assumed that is the ones Karen was referring to.
Yes, these are the stretches I am referring to.
Be careful not to lose your balance!!!!
My shower has very good water pressure/temperature and is set on pulsating mode. I direct the water to hit my sacrum and mid-buttock and just surrender to the stretch while the hot water is hitting my piriformis area. I keep the front leg slightly relaxed and the rear leg straight. Then I switch my feet around and stretch the other side.
It’s a game changer.
Note: Water restrictors in shower heads will limit the force of the spray. It’s illegal to remove them in some states.
Yes, have to be extra careful to not loose your balance- I worry about that in my shower as it has glass doors- don't want to fall and break them or worse, get hurt and have to call for help
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Woke up a few extra times during the night. Kept going out trying to find our one cat that we let out during the day but have him inside every night. Never did find him but dh did when he went out at 8 to feed them(the last time I went out was 6:15). He said that a neighbors dog was chasing the cats yesterday evening so maybe they were hiding all night- never saw any of the three cats that are usually out there(two are neighborhood cats that stay here because they like all the food and attention)
Took son to the bank to get his cashier's check for the down payment on his car. Closed out a small account we had set up for him when he was little so that will go towards the down payment. He is paying half and financing half.
While there and dh wasn't there, I took advantage of it and deposited more money into my secret account- haven't had a chance to put any in for quite a while so wanted to make sure it stays active.
They will go up at 11 to check out the car and if he likes it, will be bringing it home today. While they are there, I plan on going a little early and walking the wetlands a little longer than usual. If it gets too windy, I will cut it short. It is really sunny but breezy right now.
No idea on what I am doing for dinner. Thinking about trying to make some butternut squash ravioli(using wonton wrappers). Have never made them but have a squash I cooked last night to use up.
Debbie
Napa Valley,CA2 -
Hi Barbiecat!
Funny you mention having friends in Peterborough that’s where I work and I live 35 north west of there in Bobcaygeon ! Snowing again today ! Looking forward to spring !3 -
Lanette - we also have POA for health, but this is an additional safeguard. As I don't currently have a POA I have had to write on the form that any subsequent POA should not take precedence. This is the definitive edition!!!!
My son rang me this afternoon, just as we were setting off to pick up Bea. He was hardly able to put two words together as they were so tired. Kids and them had been ill again, after we saw them. All exhausted.
My DDIL was at the school to pick up Edie and they were going to the doctor after Edie 's cello. Bea was on good form! Went off to swimming happily. My son took my gluten free flour to make pancakes for Pancake Day when they get back tonight.
Now it turns out we are having all of them here for Thursday evening while they have parents' evening at Max's school. I will just be getting back from London!!!
And on Saturday they have a friend's 50th, so we are going to their apartment to babysit. There is an Asian restaurant in the building so we will get takeaway from them as a.treat. Plus it's 10% off for the block.
They are both walking zombies with all the illness between them. Soooo tired. I remember those times. I went through total hell for a few years with my kids, and I only had two!
Delighted we can be of help to the family. Our grandchildren are the hugest part of our lives.
Of course, I didn't get a chance to have any kind of discussion about end of life with my son.
Love you all, Heather UK xxxxxx4 -
Our discussion on the way home with Bea was words that sound the same with different spellings. Homonyms. DH came up with this rhyme.
We had a long chat with her about cheetahs and cheaters.
Heather UK xxxxxx
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Heather so cute- I wrote a Hiku in 3rd or 4th grade and I remember it to this day..
We had a dog named Byit( I'll explain that at another time)
My dog Byit was born in the spring.
She grew to be a huge thing
She ate a whale bone and I heard her grown
I can't believe I ate the whole thing...
So when my grandmother was pregnant with my mom she was reading my uncle the tale of Peter Rabbit and and he didn't like his name so one of his forest friends said well pick a name that you like and ask your friends to call you by it,so my uncle said to my grandmother well you can call the baby byit lol..
So there is that ...yup a crazy little back story.. my grandpa was even funnier..
Just waiting on Carmines bus.. and then off to the hairdressers.4 -
Good afternoon ladies!
I ate 1073 calories today, and after dumbbells tonight I will have a deficit of 323. Yay!
I feel a migraine coming on, so I ate a little chocolate. Sometimes that helps. Coffee is better, but I don't want to be up all night.
And after surfing a bit, I realized my diet needs more fiber. So I added a scoop of acacia to my mango shake. Oops, I didn't log that yet.
I made a grocery run today. My list seemed way too short; we shall see what I missed.
Hugs to you all,
Annie in Delaware2 -
SophieRosieMom wrote: »Lisa ~ Your message about the two Indians is spot on.
Trying to get more fiber into our diet is difficult but that's what DH's dr has prescribed.
Carol in GA
Carol - I know, it can be a challenge upping the fiber. I'm kind of hitting it on all fronts. This is where I'm concentrating:Fruits- Pears are very high in fiber, eaten with the skin. Like apples, skin on. A couple dried figs and/or dates and/or prunes for a snack. Of course, these are high in carbs, but they are natural carbs and not added sugars so for me, they are OK if I don't overdo it.
Veggies - salads, fibrous foods like kale. Avocadoes have a lot of fiber, and very healthy fat.
Nuts - Again, high in fat but lots of fiber.
High fiber "Keto" wraps - I go to the wrap and tortilla section at the grocery store, many of these have 10 or more grams of fiber, even the smaller & medium sized ones ones. My new favorite way to eat them is to pour a lightly scrambled egg or two into a a non stick skillet, put the lid on for it to "set up" like an omelet, plop a wrap on top, let it cook for another minute or two, then flip it and kind of brown/dry out the tortilla. Then I move it onto a plate, sprinkle with a little cheese or salsa, fold it over and there ya go. Sometimes I even wilt a little spinach or other veggie in the skillet first before I dump in the eggs.
Good luck to you. Some folks are unable to chew apples with the skin on and some salad greens. My DH had to have everything peeled.
Lanette
I forgot beans and lentils! I try to eat some every day.
Lanette2 -
Quick exercising-stretching.
I follow these 2 folks on FB. Most days they have one post showing quick, non strenuous stretches or exercises, something to get warmed up for a minute or two and wake up some new muscles without overdoing it:
One is Petra Genco. She also has a YouTube Channel :
https://www.youtube.com/@petragenco/featured
The other one I like is WeShape. The guy on FB is really engaging and again, quick stretches or small exercises that can make a big difference. He also has a website - looks like he and his team run a business formulating on-line exercise programs.
https://www.weshape.com/
I know there are others, these 2 hold my interest right now.
Lanette
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561
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Debbie--Glad that DH walked with you.
Allie--I pray the therapist can help. So how will Tom's retiring effect you? He will still have to pay right?
Rita--Hope you are enjoying every minute of the visit with your son.
Katla--Glad to hear you had a good visit when your son was there. Sorry you are hurting over your home. Change is not easy.
We have an accountant do our taxes. This year we end up owing $1700. Because of direct deposit DH never looked at his paystubs. Some how they only took out $312 for Federal the whole year. When he called the main office, their answer was the tax schedule changed. Well mine and no one else I have talked to has changed. He is trying to reach someone else at the main office and get this fixed. I have to let it go and him handle it as it is driving me nuts.
Did find out the floor under the refrigerator is not as bad as we thought. Got it all cleaned up and ready for the new refrigerator we ordered that will be here in 3 weeks. I am not happy that it is stainless steel, but only one that is the size that will fix our doorways. They will replace the ice maker line so it will not leak (that is where the water was coming from) and hook up the new one.
Karen--HUGS!! Blended family are not easy. When our kids were younger we had them all at the same time and did things together. Now that they are grown up they will not. But we are lucky as the DGC come visit and we make sure they know cousins and I have always said there are no steps in our family, but at the front door to come in the house.
Kylia--I thought you were talking about me. I am also a perfectionist with procrastination issues, who needs to learn others moods are not my fault. I am not responable for making everyone happy.
Sorry to go so long, I am caught up again.Sounds like another winter storm coming in tonight for the next couple days.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE
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KetoneKaren wrote: »Grudges
There is a huge difference between holding a grudge and feeling a resentful. A grudge implies vindictiveness, a belief that one will feel better when one shows the other person how angry one is, and a desire to pay the offender back.
A person may feel resentment or hurt but not hold a grudge. Alternative responses are: forgiving the other person, having a respectful discussion, or letting go of the resentment and/or hurt without addressing it with the other person.
Or...the hurt person might hold a grudge. But not necessarily.
Karen in Virginia
That is SO my dh. He holds grudges for years. Very much about pay back. He holds grudges for things that he THINKS someone has done intentially against him. The way he is with me is proof of that.
If he could just let the little stuff go, it would be so much nicer for everyone.2
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