WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR FEBRUARY 2023
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grandmallie wrote: »Ginny- yes Taliah was born a girl and decided in 7-8th grade that being a boy was better,i dont know if they had a class or an assembly on it but it seems a whole bunch of the girls decided to become boys so,I dont know if its for attention, or what.. but Carmine has been mean and horrible to anyone for the last few years..ans only getting worse..
Tracy and Kyle want Taliah back and not this mean nasty foul mouthed teeneager that doesn't care about himself or anyone else.
So here is hoping that they can at least get him on some type of anti depressant or something poor kid..
Could be hormones.
I was a wolverine for about a week before my periods back in those days.
Have they taken them to a GP for a full check-up?
Also here, you can get your GP to do a recommendation for 5 discounted allied health treatments. Allied health includes things like psychologists, physiotherapists, etc. Maybe something like that is available where you are?
M in Oz1 -
One of the luxuries I allow myself is paying an accountant to prepare our tax return. I gather up all the documents and numbers and send them to her and she fills in all the blanks and mails it back to us for a signature. It arrived today ready for us to sign. We spent three hours today at the phone store changing our phone carrier and getting a new phone for Jake. Our last phone carrier didn't have a store and we had to set up our new phones by ourselves and solve our own problems. It was so great to go into a store where the young technicians knew what they were doing and walked us through everything to get the phones up and running. Now Jae is learning how to use his new phone. It's not like mine, so about all I have to do to help him is supply him with an occasional password. If there's something he can't figure out, he can go back in next week and get help.
Allie, Carmine is a teenager living with a parent with severe anger problems and parents who put all their energy into acquiring another child who has messed with family routine, cost a lot of money, and can seemingly do no wrong. That's a tough place to be.Annie, the audio book I'm listening to now (it's the third time I've listened to it) makes me think of you and the challenges you're trying to overcome. I thought you might enjoy it. It's called "Atomic Habits" by James Clear.
Barbie in NW WA
In the phone store when theyoung woman was helping us do things we didn't know how to do, I was reminder of this:
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One of the luxuries I allow myself is paying an accountant to prepare our tax return. I gather up all the documents and numbers and send them to her and she fills in all the blanks and mails it back to us for a signature. It arrived today ready for us to sign.
We also use an accountant for our taxes ... most people here do.Allie, Carmine is a teenager living with a parent with severe anger problems and parents who put all their energy into acquiring another child who has messed with family routine, cost a lot of money, and can seemingly do no wrong. That's a tough place to be.
*Insightful*
Machka in Oz
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I used to do our taxes without help, reading that ridiculous book they used to send out each year. But when computers and tax software became available, I “splurged.” I am, at heart, a tightwad!
My mother’s taxes, however, will be sent to her longtime accountant. 2 -
I did our taxes last weekend. I use H&R Block tax software. I get it when it goes on sale on Amazon. Our federal refund is already pending deposit. Since our house is paid for and they raised the standard deduction so high, ours are easy peasy. In the past, when we’ve had complicated stuff, I have paid an accountant.
Books I’m reading: I’m still working my way through the Flavia de Luce books. I’m on #8. I’m also reading A Knock at Midnight, which is about the disparity in drug convictions of black women, and is a true story written by a black lawyer whose mother lived it. I signed up for a zoom with the author but missed it. I have the link to the recording to watch the replay. And I’m reading two books on preaching and a Bible Study book called Living Like Mary in a Martha World.6 -
Did a Crunch Fitness Total Body Bootcamp DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Yoga for Inflexible people DVD. Then we leave for the races.
I didn’t realize that Vince wanted to see not only the Arca race but also the Xfinity, so we didn’t get home until almost 9:30. I just find it somewhat funny that Kyle Bush is now driving for a pot company. We were talking about how Mars used to give out free samples of candy. Maybe 3Chia will give out free samples of pot?????lol
Looks like we’ll need a new dishwasher. Well, this one is probably the original. When we ran it yesterday you can smell a burning rubber smell. We can’t figure out where it’s coming from. Vince said that tonight (we ran it last night) you can still smell it. So he’d like to go looking for a new dishwasher Monday. We probably won’t get a top-of-the-line one since we only use it a few times a year.
Amazon has the Birkenstocks that I like in my size at a fairly reasonable price. Vince said “that’s expensive” but my last pair lasted about 8 years so it’s worth the money. But….I do need to find out if the seller ships by the post office. If it was Amazon delivering it, I’d have it shipped here. But if he ships via the post office, we don’t have mail delivered here and the post office may not deliver them since they know that we don’t get mail. I hope he doesn’t
Allie – prayers for Carmine. Wonder why such a shift?
Debbie – prayers for Destiny. She’s such a trooper. Puts me to shame with all she’s going thru at such a young age.
Got my food ready to take tomorrow and logged it. Want to get to bed now.
Michele in FL2 -
Did a Crunch Fitness Total Body Bootcamp DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Yoga for Inflexible people DVD. Then we leave for the races.
I didn’t realize that Vince wanted to see not only the Arca race but also the Xfinity, so we didn’t get home until almost 9:30. I just find it somewhat funny that Kyle Bush is now driving for a pot company. We were talking about how Mars used to give out free samples of candy. Maybe 3Chia will give out free samples of pot?????lol
Looks like we’ll need a new dishwasher. Well, this one is probably the original. When we ran it yesterday you can smell a burning rubber smell. We can’t figure out where it’s coming from. Vince said that tonight (we ran it last night) you can still smell it. So he’d like to go looking for a new dishwasher Monday. We probably won’t get a top-of-the-line one since we only use it a few times a year.
Amazon has the Birkenstocks that I like in my size at a fairly reasonable price. Vince said “that’s expensive” but my last pair lasted about 8 years so it’s worth the money. But….I do need to find out if the seller ships by the post office. If it was Amazon delivering it, I’d have it shipped here. But if he ships via the post office, we don’t have mail delivered here and the post office may not deliver them since they know that we don’t get mail. I hope he doesn’t
Allie – prayers for Carmine. Wonder why such a shift?
Debbie – prayers for Destiny. She’s such a trooper. Puts me to shame with all she’s going thru at such a young age.
Got my food ready to take tomorrow and logged it. Want to get to bed now.
Michele in FL
Check on the heating element to make sure no plastic fell on it. I always knew if the lids to the sippy cups fell on the element. Lost quite a few lids over the years
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Time to sort through my winter clothes and discard some items before I switch seasons. No point in storing items I no longer wear, and let go of some old favourites that are past their best.
(((Destiny)))
(((Carmine))) Young people have so many pressures these days. I hope you can get them the help they need.
DYD has been doing our taxes for many years. We won’t have to put in a tax return after our last one, as all our income is now taxed at source. She will keep an eye on things for us.
Weather yesterday was showery so no gardening. We decluttered one of our filing cabinets, shredded sensitive stuff for the compost heap, and filled a large tote for the recycle bin.
Intentions for today:
📍Declutter wardrobe
📍laundry
📍family Skype
📍Latin translation
📍prep for gynae appointment tomorrow
📍solid habits
Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
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Hi. I'm new here. I'm determined at 7am but by 3pm I'm a couch potato eating chips, but really mean to change that. Pol in UK
Oh, and I'm NOT tech savvy in any way so please forgive mistakes.6 -
Only if you're interested in doing something like this as we go along ...
Feel Good Feb and/or Exercising the Alphabet in FebruaryFeel Good Feb
https://www.actbelongcommit.org.au/programs-initiatives/feelgood-feb/
Exercising the Alphabet in February
In other words, on February 1, you'd walk to a street that starts with A or do an exercise video hosted by someone whose name starts with A or something ... A.
On February 2, you'd go swimming at a Beach or play a game of Baseball or something ... B.
On February 3, you'd go Cycling or Climb some stairs or something ... C.
and so on.
There are, of course, 26 letters in the alphabet and 28 days in February, so you'd have 2 free days if you didn't exercise those days or couldn't fit in the next letter of the alphabet.I have listed several January highlights so that meets the calendar suggestion for February 1...
And I walked to the Asian "dollar store" next to the Asian grocers and bought Art supplies at lunch today. That'll be my A.
Put myself in someone else's shoes --- I've been treating my difficult work colleague with kindness by talking to her about her son, complimenting her skirt, talking quietly and gently to her and so on.
And today, I walked to Bathurst Street to Buy some Books. I also climbed stairs in my Building.
Watch a movie that reminds me of kindness --- probably not tonight!
C is for Climbing and walking on Collins St!
Take a picture of three things that make you happy --
D is for exercising Downstairs!
Rowing - 16 minutes
Walking - 38 minutes
Weights - 10 minutes
Be kind to yourself -- Sleep, gardening and cycling!
E is for Exercising!
Plus we cycled on Endeavour Ave and the Esplanade.
Start a conversation with someone new --- I'm not the sort to strike up random conversations, or conversations at all. But I did chat with a person I met recently and one I haven't seen in a few months today.
And ... F!
Consider a current struggle. Write down two thoughts that bring you comfort.
Hmmm ... A current struggle, like only one? Let's go with waiting. I feel like I spend most of my life waiting.
And a walk to the botanical Gardens through the rose Garden!
Consider and celebrate diversity! Does that include people who look at things completely differently than you do? If so ... woohoo! I've had that opportunity today!
H is for Hobart - walking around. And Hanging clothes outside.
Identify a role model who embodies perseverance and find 2 ways to emulate them.
Well, I don't have role models ... and I've persevered as much or possibly even more than many people I know.
However, today was brought to you by the letter I. I did walk by and around IMAS (Institute for Marine and Antarctic Studies).
Check an item off your to do list this weekend!
YES! I tidied a shelf in the kitchen. I've been meaning to do that for months but finally did it today. There was a large quantity of rubbish on that shelf ... more than I thought. So, much of the cleaning process was just throwing things out.
I've also been dusting our entertainment unit and all the stuff on it.
And I went outside and tidied the area right in front of our front door which involved moving a whole bunch of pots and other garden things to a different location and then sweeping out a year's worth of leaves and stuff. I climbed up and down and up and down stairs doing that.
This evening I made an attempt at digging the area I want to plant things next to my dry stream. I got a new spade which is great, but even so, there are so many roots, I'll need to use something else to break it up.
Just getting rid of Junk and Jabbing the Soil
Make twice as much for dinner and either invite guests or deliver a meal to a friend ...
We're actually doing that sort of dinner thing on Tuesday.
Meanwhile, all my exercise was in K ... Kingborough today!
Cycling:
Heaving a heavy mattock in the garden:
And walking our Kitty, Rhody.
Make a list for the week ahead so you stay focused.
I have one massive ongoing things to do list with the most urgent things at the top.
L
Walking exercised my Legs.
Gardening exercised all my Limbs!
Consider a recent disagreement. Did you extend forgiveness?
Yes.
I don't like being at odds with people.
M
Meandering around Bunnings.
Moving the Mattock.
Express creativity! I finished another version of my Project Plan!! That's as creative as I had a chance to be today.
N = Nowhere
I walked the stairs to nowhere and the road to nowhere.
If you are in line today, let someone go ahead of you. I do every now and then.
O - walking Rhody near home.
The next time someone does something you appreciate, let them know. I did today!
P - Perusing the shops today while it rained outside and Purchasing a few things.
Offer a helping hand to someone such as holding the door for a stranger. I do this now and then ... probably about once a week.
Q is for Queen.
My lunch walk was around the Queen's Domain!
Share about a recent book you read and what you learned.
The recent books I have read have been fictional mystery/suspense, and I have confirmed I like this genre for relaxation and stress relief.
R is for Rocks.
Hauling rocks. Placing rocks.
And walking Rhody.
Show sincere appreciation when someone serves you food or drink. I always thank my husband when he serves dinner.
S is for ... Sifting and Shovelling through Soil. Gardening ... I was gardening.
We also had a look inside our hive ... and we're going to have our mentor help us because they've cross combed but otherwise, it's looking good.
Machka in Oz
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Beth, I’ve heard that cochlear implants can be transformative. I hope you have superior results.
Allie, Do you think Carmine is suicidal? So distressing. My grandson who has autism is almost 17. He is thriving now, but I was very concerned about him for several years. I hope Carmine finds his way.
Rita, Is getting back to your real name symbolic?
Debbie, I think you may be able to order corn dogs on a stick from Walmart or Amazon. Is that what Destiny likes?
I find it intriguing that there is a person who has some authority and credibility with your MIL, even if she is using her. I wonder why that particular person has influence over her?
Ginny, I have one living child, my son, who is the father of my biological grandchildren. They live here. My granddaughter turned 14 yesterday, and my grandson will turn 17 in May. I have four other grandchildren (my spouse’s biological grandchildren), whose ages range from 6 weeks to 6 years; 2 live locally & 2 are in California).
Pol, Welcome!
_____________________
Yesterday was my oldest granddaughter’s 14th birthday. Six of us girlies had tea in a shabby chic tea house for lunch, then out to a raucous Asian fusion restaurant for dinner. Back to my son’s house for presents. My spouse attended the tea, but was too tired for the rest of the celebration.
I have concluded from the way the evening went last night that my son has forgiven me after all these years.
My spouse and I are usually an afterthought at family dinners out. When we eat family style (the norm when we eat at sushi bars), my son will order for all of us, which is fine in principal because he knows what everyone likes. However, I usually have to ask for food to be passed to me & my spouse, and it’s hit or miss whether there will still be a piece of sushi or whatever left on the platter for me or my spouse. We sometimes have to order our own entrees (which we then share with the rest of the table), just to get adequate food. Last night, however, my son was very solicitous and reminded the grandkids to leave enough for me several times. It was a brand new experience.
I realized when I woke up a little while ago that I am really annoyed.
I tried so hard not to have a personal agenda, but now that I have been forgiven, I’m miffed.
I am going to take the high road and be grateful my son has forgiven me; maybe someday we will discuss my hurts, but now is not the time. This newfound forgiveness needs time to find its feet, and I need to add it to my gratitude list, not my miffed list.
I feel irritated with myself that I am annoyed with my son - I realize now that he must have decided to forgive me some time ago, and that our conversation in the noisy restaurant last weekend was just pro forma.
I feel resentful. I need to let it go. I don’t want to undermine this.
Going to do some journaling, reflection, and meditation over the next few weeks.
I still don’t expect that my spouse will ever be welcomed with open arms; one of the hurts is that he told my grandchildren that she is not their grandma and her biological grandchildren are not their cousins.
Karen in Virginia, seeking grace.
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@KetoneKaren ... why annoyed and miffed? Why not relieved you can put this all behind you?
You don't have to answer me.
M in Oz0 -
Karen-we can only take things one step at a time. Your son may be expressing the best forgiveness of which he is capable. We put ourselves in awkward positions by wanting something more than someone has. Regarding grandchildren-blended families are just never easy. I am fortunate that my stepson and family affirm that I am their grandmother-but that is due to a very disjointed relationship (or lack there of) he has with his mother. Give it more time. The kids will most likely treat each other as cousins regardless of what son says. And he may become more accepting. I am so happy you had a good tea and dinner-much progress!
Allie-I think Barbie provided a good summary. Many families are going through the same struggles right now. They also went through the pandemic and all of that disruption during this time.
Those of you announcing the finishing of your taxes are getting me to start thinking about doing mine. I use TaxAct. I could probably do it all myself on the IRS website but I like the reminder questions.
Happy to report printer is working normally after a couple of more cleanings this morning. Persistence and patience paid off (I admit I was tempted to just go buy a new one!)
Lots of sneezing this morning, throat a bit scratchy and nose runny. I do hope I'm not getting a full blown cold. I took a test this a.m.-negative for Covid. Hopefully a passing allergy thing from dusting under beds yesterday.
Off to get some things done before going to see wrestling and basketball (oh, and visit with parents too!)
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio3 -
__@KetoneKaren ... why annoyed and miffed? Why not relieved you can put this all behind you?
You don't have to answer me.
M in Oz
Machka,
I expected to feel relieved.
My son has apparently forgiven me for ending my marriage to his father.
I have wanted that for so long, I for sure thought I would be relieved and happy to put it all behind me.
This morning I suddenly realized that I have not forgiven him for all the pain he has caused me.
He owes many apologies for shunning my wife and writing a terrible letter to me about my relationship with her, for hauling me into therapy to be harangued for an hour while I was not being allowed to respond, for blaming me for a failed marriage that I did everything in my power to save while his father passively aggressively undermined, for telling my grandchildren that my wife’s children are not their cousins, and for reading me the riot act about an error I made with my grandson’s medication that was actually his fault.
He has mistreated me for years, and it’s going to take me some time to get past it.
In fact, he has verbally and emotionally bullied me.
Now that he has forgiven me, I just want to say, “Why? Why did you put me through all of that
unnecessary pain?”
I am not a saint, Machka.
It will take me some time and work to process this and put it behind me. Does that make any sense to you? I know you are more practical than I am in many ways. You could probably just shrug it off and say, “Good, that’s behind me now”, and that would be that.
I don’t have the same emotional make-up as you do.
I fervently wish I could have awakened this morning relieved that it was all behind me.
Like I said, it’s going to take some time, journaling, reflection, and work to get there.
Karen in Virginia9 -
Ginny,
My granddaughter set her dad straight years ago about the cousins and “Enie” (my wife).
My son repeatedly told his children that Enie wasn’t their grandmother, and that her biological grandchildren weren’t their cousins. One day Jilli had enough and told him she wanted him to stop saying things like that! She is my hero.
Even so, it is hard to get cousins together when one set of parents doesn’t want it to happen. For example, my wife's son (Lilly & Rory’s dad) asked Jilli to be the flower girl at his wedding 5 years ago, but my son and DIL said no. They didn’t attend the wedding at all or send a gift or acknowledge anything.
I can rise above this. Best to get on with it.
Karen in Virginia
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Karen- I hear you. I will say that I am lucky that my ex and I have always remained friendly and cooperative. Neither of us has missed any important event for any of our children or grandchildren. Yes, he married one of my friends (who I still think was more interested in me than him
) but she is welcome to him! We made a pact to never say anything negative about the other while the girls were growing up. For the most part, that pact is still in tact. Our marriage was "comfortable and safe". Just more friendly than "loving". It makes me sad and mad when I hear of the negatives in "failed" relationships. It is not good for anyone involved. The state of forgiveness is for your peace and you are correct, it takes time and reflection. We can't control others actions or feelings. You have to decide how you want to proceed and at what speed. "Manure" in our lives can either help us grow or smother out relationships. I choose to keep my mother at arms length. She is not good for my mental health and is the straw that tends to break this camel's back. She is not involved in any of our lives due to her caustic behaviors. It is sad as she use to be my go to, but I can't handle the overall behaviors. You need to decide at what level to include your son, then accept whatever decision he makes. For example, inviting to events (putting out the effort) but than accepting whatever decision he makes. You will figure this out! So hard when families are at odds.
Hugs!!!!
Kylia in Ohio
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Karen - You don't have to get complete understanding in order to get closure. People will always have their own 'palimpsest' of a family story. No one will, ever see it the same way as you. He is talking to you. Something in his head has changed. Of course, I would be mightily miffed that he hadn't got the story of your husband's affair, but that's the same situation for me, my ex has rewritten history. That's his problem. Doing some journalling and talking to us is a great way to go. Are you currently seeing a therapist? The grandchildren are old enough to make their own minds up about your spouse. I doubt they agree on all things with their dad. I am sure you will be able to get your head around it.
Well done to your granddaughter. I've always thought swimming must be the toughest sport to excel in. I used to teach an ex-Olympian, who so resented her lost childhood and teenage years that she had got morbidly obese as an adult. She was angry. Yes, knowing when to quit. I wish that for my sporty, determined granddaughter.
The visit went well. Lots and lots of chat. The meal out was slightly disappointing for me and DH, as the normally amazing staff were not up to their usual standard. I wondered whether there had been some trouble in the kitchen. Our guests didn't notice. We walked both ways.
This morning, at breakfast, we started talking about palliative care, living wills, assisted dying, etc. All subjects which upset DH. However, I'm glad the subjects were broached, as he is normally avoidant. He needs to start thinking about these things at 77.
We also managed to arrange a date for DSIL's 70th birthday lunch in July. I suggested a restaurant in London, so I will book it. Good to get that sorted.
Then I did some Norwegian Duolingo and rang my friend L.
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx8 -
Karen, Things take time. Family can be so nurturing and so hurtful. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and give it time. Sometimes it takes longer to forgive. Jake has been playing with his new phone since he got up. Right now he is experimenting with ringtones. I will be glad to get out of the house and take my walk. Barbie in NW WA
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Good morning ladies!
Families seldom fit in neat little boxes, do they? Karen, your feelings are valid, of course, and it sounds like you are dealing with them in an adult, mature, responsible way. Thank you for explaining.
I woke up early again. This time I read in bed and didn't get up to let the dog out. It seemed to work just fine; he went back to sleep. I just get nervous about little things sometimes.
Today is Sunday with Sunday dinner, so my goal is a neutral calorie deficit day. This time I bought less meat, so there should be less temptation. Plus I plan on a cup of tea after.
Annie in Delaware
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