Give people REALLY bad advice!!!

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  • heatherlee33
    heatherlee33 Posts: 113 Member
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    ALWAYS listen to weight loss advice your mother gives you...and how she thinks you looked better when you were ten pounds lighter...but she's worried about you not eating enough right now.
  • MerdiJune
    MerdiJune Posts: 68
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    ALWAYS listen to weight loss advice your mother gives you...and how she thinks you looked better when you were ten pounds lighter...but she's worried about you not eating enough right now.

    My mom convinced me to go to 700 cal/day for a few days. And I did lose like, 3 pounds, but it came right back on when I started eating normally again. Mothers can be way less helpful than they think they're being.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    I only give good advice. Fact.
  • mathjulz
    mathjulz Posts: 5,514 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :love: :laugh: Thanks for this thread!

    - Believe everything taunto and BrainyBurro post, they are always 100% serious … ETA whierd, he's always serious too
    - If it has anything in it, it doesn't count as water.Only water is water (that includes the minerals in tap water, right?)
    - cat gifs mean that the thread is really serious and you should follow its advice to a T
    - sugar is addictive and bad, artificial sweeteners are addictive and bad, wheat is addictive and bad, processed food is addictive and bad for you and oh the chemicals!, but HCG and diet pills are okay
    - if you didn't lose weight this week, you're eating too much, or too little, or you're not counting it right. Because weight loss is linear and nobody ever goes up for a week or two then goes back down.
    - if you don't agree with someone you are mean :angry: You should encourage them to eat only 800 calories and exercise 2 hours a day, that's what they want to hear.
    -short women need to eat 1200 calories or less to lose weight (Can I tell you how much I love this advice?)
  • RBurnham90
    RBurnham90 Posts: 202 Member
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    -Squatting ATG is bad for your knees; going parallel is optimal
    -Lifting legs in general is pointless for me because I have genetically big legs
    -Make sure you get a protein shake in as soon as possible post workout to avoid catabolism
    -Whole food protein sources are superior to whey protein
    -Eat clean, avoid processed foods. People who claim they can eat foods like poptarts and ice cream can do that because they are usually using performance enhancing drugs
    -The types of foods you consume are more important than the amount of calories you consume overall
    -Limit sodium intake as much as possible if you want to look your leanest
  • da1128
    da1128 Posts: 212 Member
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    Use a good old fashioned rolling pin to roll that fat right off your thighs and stomach. Have your partner do your rear end, but make sure he/she rolls in an upward motion, otherwise your bum will hang down to your knees.

    Start your children off on a road to good health and a slim lifestyle. Make up a dreadful story about particular foods and be convincing. My mother once told me that horseradish was made from ground up horses....and I've never touched it in my life. I shudder to think how obese I'd be if horseradish was a part of my diet!

    :bigsmile:
  • aubrie917
    aubrie917 Posts: 41 Member
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    Horse radish may not be but lots of places are mixing horse meat and beef and saying it's just beef 8-).
  • TribeHokie
    TribeHokie Posts: 711 Member
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    Use a good old fashioned rolling pin to roll that fat right off your thighs and stomach. Have your partner do your rear end, but make sure he/she rolls in an upward motion, otherwise your bum will hang down to your knees.

    Start your children off on a road to good health and a slim lifestyle. Make up a dreadful story about particular foods and be convincing. My mother once told me that horseradish was made from ground up horses....and I've never touched it in my life. I shudder to think how obese I'd be if horseradish was a part of my diet!

    :bigsmile:

    Teach your kids about "good" food and "bad" food and take pride in the fact that they denounce fast food restaurants as 'yucky' when you drive by them simply because you've told them so! When they grow up to have an unhealthy relationship with food, blame society since you obviously did your best to point them in the other direction.
  • rachelmaria33
    rachelmaria33 Posts: 16 Member
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    ooooh! so good!
  • rachelmaria33
    rachelmaria33 Posts: 16 Member
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    It's not your fault.

    Ok, this is the one I was referring to. This one is good in a "ouch!" kind of way :)
  • RBurnham90
    RBurnham90 Posts: 202 Member
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    Cardio is the best way to go about losing weight and getting lean. Eat as little as possible (salads, juices, shakes, little to no carbs) and continually progress with your cardio
  • pickettcall
    pickettcall Posts: 5
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    Always spell the word "lose" like this: "loose." It will make you look really smart. Don't lose weight. Loose weight. :tongue:

    BWAHAHAHA
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    Forget genetics! Yoga and pilates can override that and make your legs longer!
  • robdel302
    robdel302 Posts: 292 Member
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    -Lift with your back, not your legs.
    -Hold your breath for every set.
    -*kitten* rules apply; if you can take it by force, it's yours.
    -The above applies to benches, machines, equipment, members of the opposite sex, and showers.
    -While at Planet Fitness the above also applies to pizza, members of the same sex, and Chihuahua’s stuffed in handbags.
    -A lifter's fighting ability is inversely proportional the amount of iron they lift.
  • julesyb1982
    julesyb1982 Posts: 136
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    Always spell the word "lose" like this: "loose." It will make you look really smart. Don't lose weight. Loose weight. :tongue:

    You're my hero.. or should I say YOUR my hero? ha
  • dixiewk
    dixiewk Posts: 8
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    HERBALIFE WORKS AND YOU SHOULD ALL BE ON IT AND USE ALL OF THEIR PRODUCTS AND IT WILL TOTALLY WORK FOREVER AND IS NOT A PYRAMID SCHEME
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
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    It's stupid to pay for motor vehicle insurance.

    Why bother with a parachute, jump out of the plane like a man or don't do it at all.

    The only time it's safe to eat carbs is at high noon on an odd numbered day, but don't forget to dance naked under the moon in any phase except the new moon.
  • Titanuim
    Titanuim Posts: 337 Member
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    Dont EVER EVER EVER squat...that ****s bad for your knees and junk...lmao :laugh:

    Yes you should stop! I have done them since I was 16 and now at 45 it is a miracle I am not in a wheelchair... the hammer was ready to fall with each squat..

    That turn of phrase made me laugh so hard.

    This entire thread is comedy gold.
  • hookilau
    hookilau Posts: 3,134 Member
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    eat (insert food group here)
    do (insert activity here) for exercise 'X' times per week

    since it worked for me, it MUST work for you, if not, it's because you're stupid & doing it wrong

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