WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2023

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  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,351 Member
    Betsy- Thanks for the details of your cruise. I am so happy you had such a great time. We have loved the cruises we have been on. Never had an inside cabin- need to have at least a window to see out of.
    Looking forward to when we can go on another one. We have never been on one to anywhere other than the Pacific Coast(Mexico up to Vancouver/Victoria)
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,119 Member
    <3
  • myvt9v4crh
    myvt9v4crh Posts: 391 Member
    Log out
  • myvt9v4crh
    myvt9v4crh Posts: 391 Member
    edited March 2023
    Log in to Katla49
  • myvt9v4crh
    myvt9v4crh Posts: 391 Member
    Machka, I gave it a try and will wait for my new computer if necessary. I appreciate your help very much. Thanks. Hopefully things will get better.

    Katla49
  • evie1958
    evie1958 Posts: 873 Member
    Machka, sorry to hear your cat bite required medical attention, but very happy that you were able to see a doctor and get everything set up. Darn cats.....
    Betsy, your cruise sounds just wonderful! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

    I'm sure there were other comments I wanted to make, but have been reading on my phone today and just got onto my computer tonight and now it's past my bedtime.....
    Hugs for those needing them, congrats to those celebrating and welcome to the newbies!
    Evelyn, Vancouver Island
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,834 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/mar/05/my-marriage-is-in-meltdown-again-how-can-i-save-it-ask-philippa-perry

    This is an article by my favourite psychotherapist. It's not intended for people whose marriages have really hit the buffers, but those that could do with a little bit of a spruce up. That's most of us, I guess. I like it because it's doable. :D Putting it into practice already.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    Sounds like it is intended for couples who are on the verge of calling it quits!

    "Things have reached yet another impasse and we are nearly at the point of separating. ... We have tried therapy and he doesn’t want to do it again."

    If a marriage has reached the point of the one in the article, it needs more than a little bit of a spruce up.


    The communication strategy is a very common one taught to educators (like me) and in just about every group session I've been in ... team building at work, brain injury get togethers, carers get togethers.

    How to Use ‘I’ Statements Instead of ‘You’ Statements During Difficult Conversations
    https://www.relationshipsnsw.org.au/blog/i-statements-vs-you-statements/

    What Are 'I Feel' Statements?
    https://www.verywellmind.com/what-are-feeling-statements-425163


    Machka in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,834 Member
    dvmmcw8273 wrote: »
    Wow! This is a busy thread! I was only away a day and I can’t keep up to all of the posts.
    Thank you for the welcome.

    Melanie

    It is a busy thread! :)

    Just jump in whenever you feel comfortable. :)


    Machka in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,834 Member
    edited March 2023
    Joy1580vb wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    In my garden ...

    wybg0qcpzeks.png
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/machka-bb/

    Machka in Oz

    Absolutely beautiful! My garden area is still under about a foot of snow.

    Thank you! ... it is early autumn here, so I've had lots of opportunity to take photos of flowers. :)

    However, I did notice that our winter flowers are budding, so they'll be along in a couple months.


    Machka in Oz
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,321 Member
    It’s calm and bright outside. Looking forward to meeting with my craft buddies this morning.

    Heather: 🥰the Philippa article. A timely reminder to be compassionately loving to our nearest and dearest.

    Intentions for March:
    🔹Maintain weight < 140 (I have managed to stay at the lower end off the 140s)
    🔹Continue with Solid Habit development

    Intentions for today:
    📍Solid habits
    📍general chores
    📍10.30: Tuesday Craft
    📍A/cs and prep for groups

    impossible dreams
    carry hidden messages
    of I’m possible

    just one simple shift
    fosters positivity
    in each open mind

    Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.

    🙋‍♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.

    ☘️ Terri
    March Action for Happiness:
    1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with awareness and kindness
    2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world.Trees silhouetted against the sky; the appearance of snowdrops in spring; the sound of waves breaking on the shore.
    3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive. I meditate on this each morning when I wake up, and am grateful for each new opportunity to have a good day.
    4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words. Positive affirmations are very powerful. Be kind to yourself, always.
    5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them. We chatted with our girls about other family members, and raised a glass to them.
    6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels. I will do this tomorrow (7th)
    7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day.Resisting the temptation to plan my day. Serendipity reigns today.
    8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and email of your food. ✔️
    9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others. I’m a great advocate of deep breathing, and find this works well.
    10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face.I wasn’t looking forward to going outside this morning as we had snow overnight and it seemed very cold. However, the sun shone in a clear blue sky, and the wind had dropped right down again, and I spent time with my eyes closed feeling the heat on my face before I went into the centre for Latin Study.
    11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee. Always! Gives me calm thinking time.
    12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying. When I tried to do this with DH this morning, he got distracted by a discussion on What the Papers Say on TV. 😝 However, we often have in-depth discussions, usually over lunc and dinner.
    13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today. The sun was valiantly trying to break through rain clouds just after sunrise, but the forecast is for heavy showers, but I’m watching the blue patches in hope that it clears up.
    14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do.Doing the task isn’t the problem 😝 It’s getting started that’s difficult. I sometimes put on my favourite music, or listen to a podcast.
    15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly.
    16. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
    17. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
    18. If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
    19. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
    20. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
    21. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
    22. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
    23. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
    24. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
    25 Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
    26. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
    27. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
    28. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
    29. Choose a different route today and see
    what you notice.
    30. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
    31. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,834 Member
    edited March 2023
    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    The Heart Guy:
    I spent most of yesterday binge-watching "The Heart Guy" on Prime/Acorn channel. Set in Australia, I think the series was originally titled "Doctor Doctor." Really engaging. And lovely scenery. Amazing to think how big Australia is and how rural towns are so isolated that getting anywhere quickly is a plane trip. Much like Alaska. I'm finishing Season 2, and thankful it's a rainy day and I can keep watching today. :p

    Australia is about the size of mainland USA.

    Australia: 7.688 million km²
    Mainland USA: 8,080,464.3 km²

    But the populations are vastly different.

    Australia: 25.69 million (2021)
    USA: 331.9 million (2021)



    We know of the show as Doctor Doctor but apparently outside of Australasia, it is known as The Heart Guy. It ended a couple years ago (June 2021). For whatever reason, we never got into watching it.

    I've never been out to Mudgee, where the show is set. It's about 270 km west of Sydney, and a person would go through the Blue Mountains to get to Sydney. I've been to both Sydney and the Blue Mountains.

    Mudgee is about 1500 km north of Hobart.




    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    Early morning walks alone and outdoor jobs:
    And when I walk by myself, I'm not really walking alone, I'm "walking with the planning committee in my head." :D I think about the challenges I have with cleaning up my garden and property. Think about how DH would have done it, I remember the steps he went through. And what I learned in my Master Gardener's training. I like to see other people's yards and take mental notes. Can't do it when walking and chatting with someone else.

    Lanette <3
    SW WA State


    That's what I like about my solo lunch walks. I can think things through at work and home.


    Machka in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,834 Member
    dlfk202000 wrote: »
    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    dlfk202000 wrote: »

    You sound so much like my mom. Of course she misses dad like crazy-they were married just months shy of 65 yrs but she is enjoying, as you said "getting things up to snuff little by little"
    Some of the changes she has made are hard for me to see/understand but it is her choice. I have learned to let her do her thing and just gently suggest some things but not push or she gets irritated with me-thinking I am telling her what to do.
    She now stays up as late as she wants instead of having my dad keep asking her if she is coming to bed soon. She can watch her crime dramas like she enjoys instead of the news or Animal Planet.

    I too am getting tired of being on someone elses schedule, in regards to my daycare girl. I only have her 3-4 hrs a day four days a week BUT I have to be here at a certain time in the middle of the day to go pick her up from school. I have her M/T/W/F- would rather have M or F off instead of TH but that is the day her mom is off. I will only have her until Sept when she starts first grade and is in school all day. SO looking forward to at least a 3 month break. I will look for another daycare kid after that, just to keep the tax write offs but will be on my schedule.

    Debbie

    Debbie - you sound like my friend Tiff and her husband. I tell Tiff what I have in mind with projects, ask her for advice, tell her what's on my agenda. I call her "the kid I never had" or my favorite niece, lol. I trust her a lot and am very, very fortunate.

    It's interesting to see your mom's "freedom" from your perspective. :) I understand where your mom is coming from. I'm sure she misses your dad dearly but yes, she has that freedom now.

    Your schedule revolving around your daycare girl sounds much like what my walking schedule evolved into with my neighbor. Not only is keeping the schedule straight time consuming, the fact that you have to arrange your day around it is so restraining. I got used to a schedule of course when I worked, but now the shackles keep falling away it seems. Good for you planning your next day care child around YOUR schedule.

    I love hearing about your long walks and some of the things you see, I know how special and important they are to you. <3

    My neighbor can't walk between 8 and 9:30 because that's when she has breakfast with her DH. Some days she has morning zoom meetings so only late mornings work for her. Some days she has church stuff early afternoon so we must be done walking by such and such a time. Some days she has quilting club. Some days senior luncheon. It's getting so complicated. I've bent over backwards it seems to suit her schedule the past couple years and I'm ready for walks to dwindle down to once a week when it suits.

    I think she's realizing I'm not sitting around all day lonely and waiting for someone to entertain me. That's the furthest from the truth! :p

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State

    This is a brand new thing for mom- to be on her own for the very first time at almost 80yrs old. (she will be 80 this June). She married dad when she was 14yrs old so of course was with her parents and her parents rules up until then. Most things have not been that much of a change- like the bill paying. Dad never did any of it, had no clue on most of it. Old school, not into technology at all. Only had a cell phone because mom insisted on it for when he would go to town by himself. The gardening she knows most of from doing it with him all these years. Other things she has had to ask for help with and gets a bit frustrated when people say they will be there to help and get busy or what ever and don't follow through. Right now she is struggling with getting enough fire wood. The propane bill was so high so she turned the heater off and only uses the fire place which has been going 24/7 with the weather we have been having. She has had a guy come and split some wood for her but has used it up and now needs more. My sister and I paid one guy to help and mom is still waiting for him to come out. He will eventually come out but she needs it now. There is another guy that will come down too. Just waiting for him to do it.
    She has bought some new things, like a new bedroom set and a little ride on tractor/mower(better than the full size tractor she was planning on buying that I gently talked her out of). This one she uses every day to bring wood to the house or to go out and take care of the chickens so she doesn't have to walk so much(needs knee replacement but not quite ready for it). Financially she is not terrible but not great. Would be nice if that darn room mate would pay something- she is still there, still not helping at all with any chores or paying any on utilities.

    Yes, I have a walking friend like that too- haven't walked in a few months now. She started going to another gym(third one since her and I started going to Zumba at the rec.department. I miss our walks but am ok going by myself now. She can't go when I walk the wetlands because she is at work. When the weather gets better and days get longer, we may walk more or I will walk with another friend.

    Yes, SO looking forward to a long break and then possible getting another daycare kid but won't be in a rush for it. I am hoping for a nice vacation in that time off or at least, spend a good amount of time with my mom. Hopefully the room mate is gone by then. Taking the holidays off so I can really enjoy them this coming year. This past holiday season was a total wash starting with Thanksgiving on.

    Debbie


    Sounds like both you and your mother don't feel comfortable putting your foot down and demanding what you want.

    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,834 Member
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  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,232 Member
    Morning ladies
    Im over with Miles and Tracy she hasn't left work just yet,the snow come where I am till a bit later..but it has made some cancelations and delays at the airport.. i should be fine by Thursday.
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 3,051 Member
    Carol - I have started this paragraph a half-dozen times or more, because I think a lot of you, and I know you're terribly scared right now. I would be scared too at the thought of losing a husband of 56 years and of not knowing what to do with finances after, because he's made all of the decisions about them in the previous years. Betsy gave you great advice, and a way to start learning. KJ has given you a great script to begin those conversations. You're strong enough to do these things, and the more you do, the better you will feel.

    Much love,
    Lisa in AR
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,310 Member

    Good morning ladies!
    Hmm. I need to prepare a book of death for my parents. They are in pretty good health overall but still ninety is old. I have asked them a few times and I get a flood of verbal information that is gone again in an hour. Maybe when taxes are done.

    Good luck to those of you who are dealing with reluctant spouses and finances. It's a difficult subject that nobody wants to tackle, but it will feel more secure when it's done. I think for my Dad it's best to mention it a few times ahead of time so he can "get used to the idea," which means procrastinate.

    Time for lunch and then groceries.

    Annie in Delaware
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,502 Member
    163163
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,455 Member
    Pg45 done
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,596 Member
    Did an extreme cardio DVD today. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Cardio Ab Dynamic Ab DVD. After exercise, stopped at CVS for a prescription, now home.

    Lanette – I really like your attitude toward your change of life

    Carol – my heart breaks for you ((((HUGS and more HUGS))) You ARE strong

    There’s supposed to be another launch of Space X tonight at 8:30. The paper says the conditions are not favorable for it to go up. But that was last night. So who knows?

    Allie – regarding weather reports of bad weather. I just say “I’ll believe it when it’s on the ground”

    I just heard on the radio that when we are in DST, there is less crime. Don’t know how true that is.

    KJ – I like your insight into why men feel threatened when we want to know how to do something. I expecially like that way you ask

    Michele who thinks she’ll go to the church’s thrift store and then play mahjogg at 1
  • kevrit
    kevrit Posts: 4,455 Member
    edited March 2023
    March, 2023 Action for happiness.org

    Word of the year: Appreciate : today I appreciate my iPad.
    Exercise goals added
    Yoga 10 mins 3 times a week 7/15-(100%,100%)
    Walk 7,000 every day 8/31 (84%,86%,)
    Arm weights twice a week 3/10 (100%, 60%hurt my elbow, hurt my shoulder)
    Meditation: daily. 8/31 (82%(started Feb))

    1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 8/8–(100%,100%)
    2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 9484, 9104 (7,700,100%-9851,100%)
    3. Update budget every 2 weeks 1/2 —(100%,100%)
    4. Contact close family every week (4x) 8/158/ —(100%,100%)
    5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)25/64–(100%,100%)
    6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2—(100%,100%)
    7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 10/20-(100%,88%)
    8. Read 12 books at least this year. 8/12 (100%,100%)
    9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR——3/12—(100%.100%,100%)
    10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71(100%,100%,100)
    Decided that if I do more than stated I will not grade higher than 100% 2/5/23

    January Met —100%
    February met —-90%
    March met met
    April met
    May met
    June met
    July met — met
    August met
    September met
    October met —
    November met—
    December met—



    1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with more awareness and kindness every day.
    2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world. The blue water of Lea Lake, Snow on the mountains at a distance, walking a nature trail. All at Bottomless Lakes State Park.
    3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive. I am healthy and above ground. I can walk,talk,hear, see, taste, and smell (mostly). I appreciate that I alive and have a healthy body.
    4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words. I will try…
    5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them. I sent texts to my long distance friends to send them love.
    6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels. Most days are like that for me. So much less stress!
    7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day. Sounds like a plan.
    8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and smell of your food. Started at breakfast.
    9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others. I will need to keep this in the front of my mind all day.
    10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face. Every day!
    11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee. In the process of doing that right now!
    12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying. I will have to really try to get this done today.
    13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today. I love doing this!ro5pnkvd9nvu.jpeg
    ytg7i2l0n5zq.jpeg
    faplh22pesaa.jpeg

    14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do. Will try. I need to dump the camper today.😳
    15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly.
    16. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
    17. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
    18. If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
    19. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
    20. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
    21. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
    22. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
    23. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
    24. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
    25. Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
    26. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
    27. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
    28. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
    29. Choose a different route today and see what you notice.
    30. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
    31. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.
    Barbie's Happiness Commandments

    Be Barbie
    Lighten up
    Do it now
    Dance more
    Choose strategy over willpower
    Cultivate an attitude of gratitude
    Come from a place of love
    Stay in the moment
    Act the way you want to feel
    Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good
    Don't expect praise or recognition
    It is what it is
    Don't take things personally
    Treat yourself like a toddler
    What's fun for other people may not be fun for you, and vice versa
    You can choose what you do, but you can't choose what you like
    Be kind, no exceptions
    Ask always, how could my life be better with less?

    RVRita
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,232 Member
    I begged my dad to have something planned and he didn't ,he didn't even have anything planned for my mom and ,the Dr told them she had a month to live get her affairs in order.. but did he? No..
    Not until it happened did he do anything. And when he passed it was on us..
    Thats why I have tried to get most of my stuff in order so my poor kids dont have to do that..
  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,760 Member
    edited March 2023
    1948CWB wrote: »
    Thank you all for your suggestions! About the bills, I pay all of the bills except the insurance and the taxes. I know all of the passwords. If my husband passes, I will be left with the decision on how/where to bury him which he refuses to discuss. What I don't understand is what to do in case my husband passes before his brother-in-law. I will then become his power of attorney in my husband's place and have to handle his affairs...keep up with his health appointments, pay his bills, handle his property (house and land), and bank accounts and investments. I will also be in charge of handling our rental property and renters. I guess I will just have to have a lawyer at that point to oversee and advise in these matters.

    I went to my dr this AM and she understands my situation and has upped my anxiety meds.

    Again, thank you all so much for your support.

    Carol in GA

    PS: Perhaps I should show my husband this post. He will have a hissy if I do.


    Carol - good to know you already have a head start on all of this! :)

    I wonder, do you have any legal obligation to keep the role as power of attorney for your BIL if you don't want to? What happens if you can't for some reason - your own ill health for example, then who steps in? That might be a discussion to have with your DH since, as I recall, he took on the responsibility.

    Also, it might be worth a short visit with an attorney to the see answers to these "what-if's". If this responsibility was delegated to me for some reason and I didn't feel I could do it well and someone else should do it, then I'd bow out. Legal document or not. There's no penalty I'm aware of for not being able to perform this job adequately.

    I understand how overwhelming the thought is of having to take this over. Your local Agency on Aging staff might be able to help answer these questions too.

    Good luck! ((HUGS!!!))

    Lanette B)

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