WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2023

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  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    Good evening ladies!

    Today I ate 1083 calories, and have a deficit of 357. Yay! This is going well, as long as Sunday doesn't count.

    I did my dumbbells. Yay! I think I am beginning to see some increase in knee strength, especially climbing the stairs after dumbbells. The tough part of exercising in the basement is climbing the stairs afterwards.

    I decided to ask my dad what he thought would be a sign that I should be more involved in the finances, and what that involvement might look like. So now I have to choose my moment to ask.

    Annie in Delaware
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    margaretturk wrote: »
    Carol Is their a way to make a list of the bills that need to be paid monthly and how they are paid. If done online user names and passwords. If you pay quarterly federal and state taxes they mark in your calendar when to pay them April, June, September, January the following year. Property taxes if you do not have a mortgage are due twice a year here. May and October. As part of our estate planning I have all these things listed so whoever has to take care of our estate can more easily pay bills and cancel services no longer needed especially the automatic payments and paperless billing. That is where phone numbers and email addresses with user names and passwords are especially important. If you and DH have not set up a trust or will make sure major financial accounts have up to date beneficiaries. It is hard enough when a loved one passes having these financial pieces organized will help give you piece of mind.

    Yes!!!

    This is what I did when I had to figure out what my husband used to do while he was in a coma from his brain injury. I have a spreadsheet.

    I would also strongly encourage you all to find out what your spouses do ... financially, around the house, etc. ... while your spouses are still able to communicate. And on the flip side, provide your spouses with information about what you do.

    In my situation, everything was great, we were both strong and healthy, and suddenly he had a workplace accident and was in a coma for 3 weeks, post traumatic amnesia for another 4 weeks, and the symptoms of severe traumatic brain injury since. Suddenly, I had to do everything and I didn't know what to do and couldn't ask him.

    Machka in Oz


  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    I am surprised at how many things there are to buy that I had never thought of. I am even needing to buy her a lot of new clothes with the swelling in her let she needs all new undies and pants. I do have some fill in care givers in the wings to give me a break as needed.

    Kim in N. California

    Skirts (especially something fuller and below the knee) might be an easier, more flexible choice than pants. I love wearing skirts because they are so comfortable.


    M in Oz

  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,072 Member
    <3
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,708 Member
    Machka - skirts are not an option, PT requires pants, and my mother is not a fan of skirts. But thanks... I think it is because it is just one more thing to keep track of - not showing off your "bits"
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    Exercise Stats:

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    Unfortunately, I haven't been able to exercise yesterday or today. We'll see about tomorrow.

    Machka in Oz
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,147 Member
    Rosemarie - sorry youve had a rough weekend,and now that its over everything is sinking in.. I will keep you in my prayers.
    This time change has me all messed up went to sleep last night and awake at 1:30 this morning..ugh today is going to be rough..
    And I signed Miles up for story hour at the library.
    Im all packed and ready to roll.. will drop Alfie off this afternoon and need to drop stuff off at UPS and then come home take a shower and try and sleep..
  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 1,411 Member
    Rosemarie-glad the celebration went well. It is ok that you enjoyed parts of it. New mattress seems to be working well. I found crying jags to be normal (tears are therapeutic). Nearly 8 years later something happens and I may have one-give yourself grace.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    Machka - skirts are not an option, PT requires pants, and my mother is not a fan of skirts. But thanks... I think it is because it is just one more thing to keep track of - not showing off your "bits"

    Ah right.
    She's the one who doesn't like boots. ;):)

    I live in one of the windiest places on earth, so I wear leggings under my skirts. :smiley:


    All the best!

    M in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    Rosemarie2972 wrote: »
    Today was sad, but the least stressful day I have had in years. I am home. We traveled out of state for the Celebration of Life and a luncheon and saw family throughout the week end. We stayed in an historical hotel in an historical district in MA and I did enjoy this despite the sad circumstances. I organized the Order of Service and said a Eulogy. My son gave a wonderful eulogy. Overall, everything went well. I suspended grieving pretty much in order to push through it. Today I have had crying jags. I hope to do something every day to honor my husband. He loved music, so today I listened to a lecture about Mozart and symphonies. I don't know what I will do tomorrow!

    Thank you all for your support and kind words! They mean the world to me!

    Best,
    Rosemarie from GA

    {{Hugs}}

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    edited March 2023
    kevrit wrote: »
    I am doing this Happiness calendar for March. Feel free to copy or simply use it if you’d like!

    March, 2023 Action for happiness.org
    RVRita
    1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with more awareness and kindness every day.
    2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world.

    Sky, sand and ocean
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    3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive.

    Yesterday's 54 km bicycle ride and 5 km walk on the beach ...

    4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words.

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    5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them.

    :heart:

    6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels.

    The only plans we had yesterday was a stroll through a neighbouring arty town to look at the shops.

    7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day.

    I do box breathing at some point just about every day.

    8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and smell of your food.
    :)

    9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others.
    Many times.

    10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face.

    Afternoon walk ...

    gk9c2ciwlcx2.png

    11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee.

    Not so much today. But usually. :)

    12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying.

    Haven't talked to anyone other than husband today.

    13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today.

    Love watching the sky. :) Our house is especially well located for that, and at certain times of year, we get fantastic sunsets!

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    14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do.

    Laundry! I don't mind doing laundry. :)


    15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly.

    That's about all I can do today. I haven't done anything which requires effort.

    I looked up the vaccine I had yesterday. Boostrix: diphtheria-tetanus-acellular pertussis (whooping cough). I am set for 10 years!

    But headache, tiredness, body aches, sore joints and nausea are common side effects ... which I am experiencing.

    My doctor also informed me that the antibiotic "cocktail" I've been prescribed will make me feel ill and give me a horrible taste in my mouth. But it is only for 5 days and should do the trick.




    17. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
    18. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
    19. If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
    20. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
    21. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
    22. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
    23. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
    26. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
    27. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
    28. Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
    29. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
    30. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
    31. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
    32. Choose a different route today and see what you notice.
    33. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
    34. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.

    Machka in Oz
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    @cityjaneLondon ... watching Midsommer Murders this evening, our usual Wednesday evening activity. It's the one where they go to Brighton.

    They're along the beach, looking at the old pier, etc.

    The Barnaby cousins are working together.

    M in Oz
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,147 Member
    edited March 2023
    Already back from shopping and have put groceries away.

    Continuing prayers for Destiny.

    Taking note of all the end of life prep talk. We have wills, POAs etc set up, but are discussing things with family, and plan to review arrangements at the moment.

    Intentions for March:
    🔹Maintain weight < 140 (I have managed to stay at the lower end off the 140s)
    🔹Continue with Solid Habit development

    Intentions for today:
    📍Weekly grocery shop✔️
    📍Solid habits
    📍general chores
    📍work on crochet
    📍work on A/cs and prep for groups

    valiant nature
    banishing winter doldrums
    with vibrant colour

    Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.

    🙋‍♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.

    ☘️ Terri
    March Action for Happiness:
    1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with awareness and kindness
    2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world.Trees silhouetted against the sky; the appearance of snowdrops in spring; the sound of waves breaking on the shore.
    3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive. I meditate on this each morning when I wake up, and am grateful for each new opportunity to have a good day.
    4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words. Positive affirmations are very powerful. Be kind to yourself, always.
    5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them. We chatted with our girls about other family members, and raised a glass to them.
    6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels. I will do this tomorrow (7th)
    7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day.Resisting the temptation to plan my day. Serendipity reigns today.
    8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and email of your food. ✔️
    9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others. I’m a great advocate of deep breathing, and find this works well.
    10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face.I wasn’t looking forward to going outside this morning as we had snow overnight and it seemed very cold. However, the sun shone in a clear blue sky, and the wind had dropped right down again, and I spent time with my eyes closed feeling the heat on my face before I went into the centre for Latin Study.
    11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee. Always! Gives me calm thinking time.
    12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying. When I tried to do this with DH this morning, he got distracted by a discussion on What the Papers Say on TV. 😝 However, we often have in-depth discussions, usually over lunc and dinner.
    13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today. The sun was valiantly trying to break through rain clouds just after sunrise, but the forecast is for heavy showers, but I’m watching the blue patches in hope that it clears up.
    14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do.Doing the task isn’t the problem 😝 It’s getting started that’s difficult. I sometimes put on my favourite music, or listen to a podcast.
    15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly. Having coffee after putting away the week’s groceries. There is pink blossom on my prunus purpurea, magnolia buds are beginning to colour up, tulips and daffodils in the containers outside the window are beginning to bloom. There are lots of little birds flitting about in the trees. Spring is doing its best to banish the winter cold. This is a regular joy in my life.
    16. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
    17. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
    18. If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
    19. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
    20. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
    21. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
    22. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
    23. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
    24. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
    25 Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
    26. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
    27. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
    28. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
    29. Choose a different route today and see
    what you notice.
    30. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
    31. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.
  • minicooper452
    minicooper452 Posts: 651 Member
    Welcome newbies and returnees! (((hugs))) to those who need them.

    Sorry if this is too personal, Heather, but what's his deal? I mean aren't you supposed to be partners? That he would laugh at you about something as serious as the cost of his care... that could easily bankrupt you is incorrigible. I'm sorry if that's rude. But what if, like Lanette asked, things were reversed? Would he laugh that off too?

    Prayers for Destiny

    NO! Thank God, fanncy, we're not Minneapolis. But yes, they were holding the records for ransom and a lot of the information has been leaked even though they said that they "fixed" it. VERY scary. I mean, I'm really glad we have the security we do, but it makes it very hard to hold meetings with outside people who NEED to use our internet while inhouse. And there are "easier" ways, like creating a "boardroom" internet access site with a changeable username and password.

    Happy Birthday to my own Freddy today!
    15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly... Good advice!
    Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
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  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,953 Member
    edited March 2023
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    Lisa – GOOD JOB on talking to the lawyer and going the trust direction. I know others have mentioned just a will or beneficiary or payable on death… but the trust covers all the possibilities and can really help solidify what you want to have happen with money/property/items and even what you want done with your body after death. It is pricy but having that done on my mom made this chapter easier than it would have been without it, as I was able to pull out the very through do not resuscitate section and copy it for the surgeon and anesthesiologist.

    Thank YOU, Kim - your financial work with your mom and all the information you were able to share with us made it easy for me to understand when the lawyer presented a trust as an option. We don't have lots, but I want those we love to be able to accomplish what they need to do after we're gone, and not have to go through the struggle that others have. My husband, whom I love beyond measure, tends to harrumph and say "Who cares, we'll be dead!" which makes me want to smack him... but has figured out that it's important to me, so he has cooperated. If statistics have any weight at all, at nine years older, and with all the mess that's wrong with me, I'll die first, so I'm doing this for him. I just don't emphasize that a lot. Men's emotional fragility always surprises me, but all the good men seem to have that as part of their basic makeup. Ignoring issues like this doesn't make them go away, and I think women are more willing to anticipate them and far more willing to face them head-on.

    Speaking of which, Heather - I don't know if trusts are a thing in British law - but from my conversation with the lawyer yesterday, they can be very specifically contingency-based to cover your biggest fear. In other words, the trust would only kick in and allow you or his daughter to access his funds if two doctors sign off to say he isn't able to make decisions for himself. It could even specify that the funds could only be used for his care. As long as he is compos mentis, only he would have access. That might resolve his fears and yours. Just a thought. And I'm raising my hand with Carla, but haven't said it.
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    It looks like my mom will move in here next Tuesday. I am really concerned about how that will go – but I’ll be doing my best. I have a number of meals in the freezer and a few more to make in the next few days. Even partial meals – so the dough for pizza and the cheese all grated for example. Lasagna, enchiladas, pre cooked bacon for quiches or spinach salad… I have a neighbor building a ramp that will be easy access to the back yard, at first she’ll be in a wheelchair with ability to transfer with a walker to a chair/toilet or shower chair/bench. She really likes to be outside so this will allow her to get herself in and out mostly on her own. I am surprised at how many things there are to buy that I had never thought of. I am even needing to buy her a lot of new clothes with the swelling in her let she needs all new undies and pants. I do have some fill in care givers in the wings to give me a break as needed.

    Kim - Your best is better than most. As noted above, you're anticipating the future and making sure it is done. I'm so glad your neighbors are stepping up - your actions throughout these months have been amazing. You've navigated and continue to navigate an emotional minefield while doing so, and I am in awe of your strength. Because you were wise enough to foresee the possibilities, you've made your mother's move and care something that can be accomplished.

    Machka -     So pleased you went to get that bite looked at. The worst medications for me of the last few years have been the antibiotics. I learned to take one, in particular, wrapped in honey so I wouldn't taste the pill. It was the only thing that made it bearable.

    Love y'all,
    Lisa
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,690 Member
    LisaInArkansas wrote: »
    Machka - So pleased you went to get that bite looked at. The worst medications for me of the last few years have been the antibiotics. I learned to take one, in particular, wrapped in honey so I wouldn't taste the pill. It was the only thing that made it bearable.

    Love y'all,
    Lisa

    My doctor told me that I have to stand straight or sit very upright when I take one of the pills because it needs to drop down with minimal touching of the walls of the esophagus, or it can burn it. Marvellous!

    One of the pills gives me heartburn ... suspecting it is that one.

    I do take it with food and standing straight like I am supposed to.

    M in Oz

  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,703 Member
    edited March 2023
    Good morning ladies! Hope you all had a good pi day yesterday. Today is the Ides of March. :|

    Rosemarie - glad to hear you are back home and the Celebration of Life went well. Wonderful idea playing your DH's favorite music and honoring him each day. My DH was a pretty good guitar player, and I ran across some of his old music this past weekend when cleaning a closet. It sure took me back there for a while. So glad to have reminders of the happy times in his life.

    Annie - OK, I am curious about your knee and knee brace. I think I've been overdoing it and my left knee is complaining after working in the garden last week. Is your brace like a sleeve you pull up over the knee that kind of holds everything in place? If so, what brand is it? I 'm going to email my doc tho I know what she'll say - rest, ice, elevate.

    Incidentally, Bob & Brad had a video recently about exercises and weight lifting folks shouldn't do because they can cause injuries. Two of the strength training moves in the SWSY book - definitely upward row and most likely the overhead press - are out for me as they cause shoulder impingement. I think that's right, at least in my case. Now it's all coming together as to why I probably got shoulder impingement = frozen shoulder several years ago. Too much weight pushed too hard.

    Here's the link if anyone is interested. I sure like these guys.

    https://www.bobandbrad.com/post/15-common-exercises-you-should-never-do?fbclid=IwAR036_JDcha2tRXPbBNXdTt6rLqlKTM2OyvUopJPueLwXO0XLrkwruzazTQ

    Looks like bicep curls are still OK.

    Bob & Brad have a lot of exercises for seniors - I emailed them to ask about their suggestions for strength training for seniors.

    Mary - love seeing Shep and his new friend. Glad you are slowly recovering from your injuries.

    Lisa - good for you seeing that attorney and moving along with your preparations. Sounds like he is just who you needed.

    Katiebug - glad you finally got the cleaning straightened out. So nice to have it done but my DH was just like your Dave and I fired a gal who did a great job when she showed up. I'm so lucky to have Collette now - she does a fine job, is very communicative and I really like her personally. Another "daughter I never had." :p Your kitty is trying to get you trained and it sounds like she's succeeding. :D

    OK better scoot.

    Have a great day! <3

    Lanette B)
    SW WA State

    PS- I just found Silver Sneakers strength training. Here's one for knees.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=01d29PK6Jb4


  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,147 Member
    Mary- I forgot to ask I sure hope you sued and were compensated for that woman beating on you..especially because of the damage it did..
    My boarding pass is all set on my phone.. ready to roll..
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,835 Member
    Rosemarie ... I'm glad to hear that the celebration of life service went well. After devoting yourself to someone's care, the void that is left with their passing is very large and very real. I lost what had been "my purpose" for 34 years. Like you, I pushed off my own grief ... I'm still working through all of that ... but see it as being a lifelong process. Hugs.

    Kim ... I will have to pursue getting into my son's computer one more time before I have the contents erased. He was a prolific and profound writer. I miss reading his work as it gave me so much insight into his thoughts. Good luck with the move-in! Your mom will be in good hands ... it's you I worry about!

    Kelly ... 6 years old? How your grandsons have all grown!

    Mary ... Shep is a beautiful dog! I hadn't realized it had been a full year since your restroom incident. So glad you are finally at the point of recovery where you can get back to your preferred activities.

    Son is having a difficult time with migraines again. Had to take a day off without pay today (only one allowed) and I'll be driving him to his neurologist shortly to see what can be done to help him break this current one.

    Beth near Buffalo
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,953 Member
    KJ - It can't be possible that Joaquin is six! They grow so stinking fast... That pic of all three of them is just awesome...

    Rosemarie - I'm glad you're home, and glad you were able to enjoy what you could of Massachusetts. I love the fact that you hope to honor your husband every day through joy. Grief is such an individual thing, and I've always believed that it is in direct proportion to the love in our lives. You honor your husband and the love you shared with each tear you shed.

    Mary - So glad all our experiences are helping you make the financial moves you need for you and your family. I think it's even more important when family members don't get along to get things straightened out beforehand. I'm so sorry that woman's assault has been such a tough recovery! And I do remember Shep as a puppy. He is absolutely a gorgeous specimen of a German shepherd--and it appears he and Ruby get along really well.

    Tere - I'm glad your hubby is recovering, and hope he's not over-exercising. It's a fine line - but moving is really important. The physical therapist that worked with me told me that a lot of her older ladies would just sit down and stop moving because it hurt, and then had to have surgery to break up the scar tissue that develops without that movement. Always good to see you post!

    Allie - Many hopes for traveling grace, my dear. Be safe as you go!

    Lanette     - I did confess to him that the Arkansas personal tax baffles me. It's this arcane county-based system where you have to validate your two-year-ago payment before you can pay your one-year-ago payment, and they're always a year behind, and I never quite get it right. He said he was the County Attorney and he's never figured it out. He just pays what they tell him to and hopes for the best. Made me feel less stupid. Some people that drop into your life never quite fit, or are even poisonous, but you find with some people that they just fit. Should be interesting to watch him and Corey together.

    Beth - Hope there's a resolution for your son's migraines. My old boss got botox for it, but had to get it done every 90 days to continue to work. It's not a permanent fix, but apparently 50 to 80% of people who get them have significantly fewer migraines and when they do occur, they are much less painful. Not suggesting it, it's just the only bit of knowledge I have about them. :smiley:

    Well... I have laundry needs folding, and that's pretty much my ambition for today.

    Later y'all,
    Much love to everyone
    Lisa in AR

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,789 Member
    edited March 2023
    Carla - He didn't laugh about the funds, he laughed about the idea of me knowing his passwords. He can't bear to imagine a time when he is not compos mentis. His traumatic early years has left him hyper independent. We married late in life, and I guess he just has no idea about how to share funds. I have told him I will leave him outside on the doorstep. He would have to be made a Ward of Court.

    Lisa- We can do all that with a POA - delay the access. I will need to access his funds if I am to live comfortably , or do anything to the house for our comfort, like replace a boiler. Our joint account only has hundreds in it. I find it quite extraordinary that he is in denial about all this, and so does his sister, but I can’t force him. When we both tried to have a discussion about death with him last time, he just got very upset and tearful. He had a horrible, traumatic, death experience with his last partner. Plus she hadn't made any will, and he wasn't even next of kin after 25 years. You'd have thought that would have warned him! I have thought of divorcing him. :p

    Yesterday's meal with the family went well, and the girls came over this morning. Usual chaos! Bea was very tired from her wonderful day as a zookeeper yesterday, so we let her play on my tablet after a bit of crafting. She just couldn't concentrate. Edie made a purse for her mother and DH also did his first ever sewing project and made a stuffed heart pincushion. I made a woven heart/hand and drew Bea. Then lunch and birthday cake that my son had made.

    Took them to Art Club, now relaxing. My back was really aching!

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,357 Member
    164164

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