WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR MARCH 2023

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  • SophieRosieMom
    SophieRosieMom Posts: 3,646 Member
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »

    However, my worry is if he is still alive and incapacitated. I asked him a few days ago if he could let me have, or put in with the wills, the key to his passwords, which are in code. He just laughed. I must have yet another discussion with him about POA, or something to give me, or his daughters, some way of accessing his money if he needs care. I worry about it all the time. His has facial recognition on his computer. He doesn't realise how difficult life would be. The state would have to take over with Court of Protection to pay care bills.
    I have been worrying about this long enough. Every single day.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx

    Heather - what if you were out running your 5K, tripped, had a head injury that would take months in a care facility to recover from or for permanent care? If you were deemed alive and incapacitated? Would your DH automatically take over to make sure those bills were paid? Is he legally obligated to provide for your support?

    Just curious how things work in the UK.

    Lanette B)


  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,789 Member
    💖
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,184 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    dlfk202000 wrote: »
    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    dlfk202000 wrote: »


    Sounds like both you and your mother don't feel comfortable putting your foot down and demanding what you want.

    M in Oz

    You are very right on that. We both hate confrontation of any kind.
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,184 Member
    Up very early this morning, had planned on finally sleeping in(dh went to work at 3am so no one to wake me up at 7or 7:30. Woke up about 6:30, smelled cat pee. yep the momma cat had peed on the bed so up stripping the bed and getting laundry started. The pad where she usually pees was wet so I guess she won't pee on the same pad twice- I will be checking that a lot more often. Third load of laundry started now, two more to go.
    While I was out doing laundry I had the garage door open from letting our one cat outside. I go to shut the door and there is a huge possum in there. Got him out and he went to the porch.
    Surprised to see him out this time of day. He is looking for cat food.
    Here is the big boy(yep, for sure a BOY)
    a9az1kbeytwa.png

    It has rained all night and still raining. I really want to go check the water level at the wetlands so may bundle up and take a quick walk to check on it. I wanted to yesterday but Ezie didn't go to school so didn't go over.
    Finally a break in the rain starting tomorrow, but only a few days then more rain coming.
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,184 Member
    Margaret- that is a great suggestion. Dh is pretty healthy(could be better if he took better care of himself and ate what a diabetic should eat and let go of so much stress).
    He tells me everything is in the blue folder. Not sure which filing cabinet it is in. I do know the main password he uses but don't know all the bills he pays each month- all are done online. If everything was on paper, I could figure it out but most isn't anymore.
    We need to make sure things are in order. Not sure if our wills have been updated since our son was born- I think he is on them but not sure(dh would know) At one time, I had my niece on mine. Will take her off, haven't heard from her in years, doesn't respond to any letters or gifts sent.
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,286 Member
    I remember many years ago I had an argument with my ex over cleaning the bird feeder, and he dumped the pail of birdseed on the patio. A huge possum started coming by, bigger than our little dogs. I was afraid to let them out at night. Some wildlife is magnificent and some is scary.

    I got groceries and gas, but skipped the drugstore. Maybe later this week. I said I would help with taxes tomorrow. Fried catfish for my parents' dinner tonight.

    Carol hope you feel better. Hugs!

    Annie in Delaware
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,826 Member
    SophieRosieMom wrote: »
    1948CWB wrote: »

    I wonder, do you have any legal obligation to keep the role as power of attorney for your BIL if you don't want to? What happens if you can't for some reason - your own ill health for example, then who steps in? That might be a discussion to have with your DH since, as I recall, he took on the responsibility.

    Also, it might be worth a short visit with an attorney to the see answers to these "what-if's". If this responsibility was delegated to me for some reason and I didn't feel I could do it well and someone else should do it, then I'd bow out. Legal document or not. There's no penalty I'm aware of for not being able to perform this job adequately.

    I understand how overwhelming the thought is of having to take this over. Your local Agency on Aging staff might be able to help answer these questions too.

    Good luck! ((HUGS!!!))

    Lanette B)

    Good point! I have POA for my mom, but there are directives should I not be able to complete my duties and an alternate is named in the legal documents.

    Beth
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,826 Member
    Carol ... breathe ... and take one day at a time ... <3

    Beth

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,693 Member
    edited March 2023
    Lanette -I don't know the answer to that question. If he is legally obliged to pay when my money runs out. My son has all the info he needs to access my savings accounts and I did nearly complete a POA before I stopped because DH wasn't doing one. If I am incapacitated, without hope of recovery, and not in a fit state to make decisions for myself, I have just made an Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment. I do not want to be kept in a living death.
    I will research your question. Thank you.
    I really should finish making my POA anyway.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxx

    PS Medical treatment is free, but long term care not.
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,693 Member
    Lanette - the results of my googling.
    ga81obpyvgrp.jpg
    Heather UK xxxxxx

  • minicooper452
    minicooper452 Posts: 644 Member
    Welcome newbies and returnees! (((hugs))) to those who need them.

    Oh man, that's one good looking stud there, Allie! And I think he knows it.

    Had a great meeting with a bunch of the ladies who do my job in neighboring districts. I trained several of them on how to do aspects of our job that they're new to and others added pieces that they knew too. The only issue was getting them all online. Our district has a very tight security system, but thankfully I've got my wonderful tech support, Sam and Chelsea, (yes the two that got me going last fall) and they made everything run smoothly today too.

    14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do... could today be considered a chore? If so, it was definitely enjoyable!
    Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN
  • teklawa1
    teklawa1 Posts: 678 Member
    Prayers and healing thoughts for Destiny.

    Betsy in NW WA
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    edited March 2023
    Carla was your school district hacked like Minneapolis school district? Where they are holding all of your records hostage unless you pay $1 million? My sister that worked for the Minneapolis school district said that is going on there right now.

    file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/cd/13/E4CC7851-F387-4EF1-A248-808880B354F6/Screenshot_20230308_200638_Facebook.jpg1ptishcdx3ey.jpeg
  • fanncy0626
    fanncy0626 Posts: 7,152 Member
    edited March 2023
    💕
  • auntiebk
    auntiebk Posts: 2,610 Member
    12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying. Try again with Joe. And again ;}
    13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today. Or the fog ;)
    14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do. Changed furnace filter. Satisfying.
    Will update stats later, just skimmin’ to catch up.
    Welcome @noynoyavery Laura. Sorry you’re feeling bad.
    Welcome @norrkat from the PNW. ConVERYgrats for taking off those 80 lbs.
    Margaret “snarkle” snort! Your advice about getting financial house in order before times get tough might actually get me off my duff to do what I can, whether or not Joe cooperates.
    Michele our PO box is smallish. When packages come, they’re put into a locker and the key to the locker is put in the PO Box. You’d have to pay for the entire year and go through the process of changing your mailing address on everything, so it might not be worth it. “livermush” :sick:
    Carla thanks for the hard snowflake ball mental picture of grapple. Yup we had it along with real hail, snow, rain and more snow. When I first heard of the “Greater Idaho” movement, I had no idea they were talking about the weather :laugh:
    Lisa your pimento cheese cornbread and taco cornbread beak sound great. Since Joe’s off meat for now, I’ll substitute Morningstar crumbles and pinto beans for the meat. Learned that “grease and preheat” the skillet trick from one of my FIL’s girlfriends ;}
    Mary I am so very glad you and your DH have planned to take the trip next year as planned, especially the Grand Canal section that got cut. Hope the learning experience memories are overwritten by sweet new ones. Apology well deserved but brava for your “never do that again” determination. Your “soak in Epsom salts” to Machka was exactly what sprung to mind.
    Flea “…Why can’t everyone just be cats and dogs?” Amen, sister, AMEN!
    Machka and whatever kind of reference did that student intern expect? :laugh:
    Heather “They will, most likely, change as a result of your actions, but you are only responsible for your own actions.” Truth this. And they may change in unexpected yet delightful ways. Will read the article later. Thanks! Neither will Joe hear of medical power of attorney or advance directives, Our only will is a handwritten one he scribbled on note paper before our last trip years ago. ((hugs))
    Ginny would you tell me about the pyramid, is it a puzzle? A Rubik’s pyramid?
    Carol ((hugs)) It might be a good thing for your DH to have a hissy fit… ;)
    Lanette :love” Rosie! If anything happens to me and Joe at the same time, have one friend who would take Shadow, but Tumble? It’s a worry. “…and my "staff" (mower, shovel, rake) doesn't talk back, call in sick or threaten to turn me in to the union, lol.” ROFLMAO! Great advice to Carol.
    Debbie which little ride on tractor did your mother buy? Hope the flooding stays far from you. Prayer again for Destiny. Also Josephina Ballerina and Aubrey.
    Ginny “tweaking is better than creating” I’ve always found it easier to edit someone else’s work than write my own ;)
    Annie “,,,tired.,,” yay indeed. Motion is lotion and tired is better than hurting. How did the Dr. appointment go?
    Betsy thanks for sharing your cruise!
    KJ thanks for yours to Carol. Might try some of those conversation openers with Joe, who is absolutely disinterested in our finances, online and automatic bill paying, etc.
    Rita love the pics.

    Basta. Caught up. Time to research pasta e fagioli recipes and invest some time with Tumble, Shadow and oh yeah Joe ;)

    Lighter, lovelies!
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD x8zcp1ya37k1.gif
    2023: Be of good cheer. March: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,879 Member
    So... we do get off on these jags where we're trading information, don't we? I think it's quite helpful, and so pleased that y'all are willing to talk to about your fears and experiences. Just got back from the lawyer and he's going to establish a trust for us, and all the big stuff like house, land, etc., will belong to the trust.

    Because you can name it whatever you want, I'm naming it "Egg's Revocable Trust." Makes it short and sweet. A trust will mean that the surviving spouse won't have to jump through legal hoops. Included with this whole package will be wills, as well as our advance directives (with the choice of DNR if we choose) and powers of attorney.

    I liked him, and immediately trusted him. I don't do that with most people; I'm a born skeptic. I think this will work out well, though. It's a little pricey, but the peace of mind of knowing that all the legalities will be settled is worth paying a bit. For everyone on here who's had to work through these issues or are working through them now, and willing to share their experience, I'm so grateful.

    Beth... I'm so sorry - someone at Best Buy or a smaller computer geek place might be able to help you bypass that facial recognition, if you haven't already tried.

    Later, y'all,
    Lisa in AR
  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,517 Member
    Debbie – thanks for the update about Destiny. She and her family go thru so much. Prayers

    Went to the church’s thrift shop. Got some shorts, Christmas ornaments, and a comb which I’ll run thru the dishwasher before I use it

    Then 2 other gals and I played mahjongg. I found out that there’s a board meeting here at the condo on Thurs that we should probably go to

    Better make dinner. Then hopefully Vince will go for another walk tonight and go across the street and walk in the mall’s parking lot. Just something different. There’s a launch scheduled for tonight and we’ll see if it goes up.

    Michele who has a lady’s lunch to go to tomorrow
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,286 Member
    Barbara my doctor's appointment was fine, thank you. Just a little foot issue, a minor nuisance in the scheme of things, and responding well to the cream.

    Annie in Delaware

  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 1,400 Member
    Debbie-prayers for Destiny and her family.

    Machka-glad you got hand checked.

    Carol-thats heat you have your banking stuff. Maybe a variation on advice given on how to approach -you are scared because you don't know what you would do with BL and should the needler arise you want to make sure you are doing what he would want.

    I have a very old will DH and I wrote years ago-leaves everything to boys. I need to get new one. I have them named as beneficiaries of my retirement and 401 k and bank accounts.

    For some insane reason woke up at 4am. Couldn't go back to sleep so didn't fight it. Made it though work. Came home and did treadmill for 20 minutes (decided with wind chill too darn cold this evening). Going to get up off this couch and do ironing-manly because I don't want to fall asleep too early.

    Take care all,

    Ginny in Ohio
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    Carol, I personally would not take over POA for my in-law; I would turn it over to an attorney or other payee. But if you are determined to do it, should the occasion arise, the steps to take to learn about what to do are the same - get your hubby to gradually show/teach you what he does and figure out what legal steps you will have to take, if any. It’s doable and you are smart and capable. It’s finite and you can learn what to do. xoxo Karen
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,184 Member
    edited March 2023
    well, walking the wetlands today was not the best idea. For the first 3/4 of it it was windy but just barely raining. Hard walking when the wind was against me but kind of fun with it behind me. THEN, I got to a part that was flooded. I had my rain boots on so thought I would be ok. The water was rushing and I had to go through it- didn't have time to go back the way I had come. Ended up with water in my boots but got through. Thankfully, I happened to have a pair of fleece lined boots in my car from my last visit to mom's that I forgot to take out. Took my rain pants off in the parking lot of the school(had leggings on under them) because I didn't want to get my car seat wet, took boots and socks off(and poured the water out). Leggings were wet the bottom 5-6inches but I had my warm boots so that helped. Sat in the car warming up while I waited for Ezie to get out. Went over to the gate when the bell rang, and waited another ten minutes in the very windy rain before they came out. Was very glad to get home and get dry pants on and really warm up.

    I did get a 45 min walk in- Fitbit says I walked 27 floors/ 3.8miles 8,500steps
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 18,997 Member
    edited March 2023
    Had a pleasant day. Grocery shopping early tomorrow.

    Prayers for Destiny.

    Intentions for March:
    🔹Maintain weight < 140 (I have managed to stay at the lower end off the 140s)
    🔹Continue with Solid Habit development

    Intentions for today:
    📍Solid habits✔️
    📍general chores✔️
    📍10.30: Tuesday Craft✔️
    📍A/cs and prep for groups✔️

    impossible dreams
    carry hidden messages
    of I’m possible

    just one simple shift
    fosters positivity
    in each open mind

    Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.

    🙋‍♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.

    ☘️ Terri
    March Action for Happiness:
    1. Set an intention to live with awareness and kindness. I intend to live with awareness and kindness
    2. Notice three things you find beautiful in the outside world.Trees silhouetted against the sky; the appearance of snowdrops in spring; the sound of waves breaking on the shore.
    3. Start today by appreciating your body and that you are alive. I meditate on this each morning when I wake up, and am grateful for each new opportunity to have a good day.
    4. Notice how you speak to yourself and choose to use kind words. Positive affirmations are very powerful. Be kind to yourself, always.
    5. Bring to mind people you care about and send love to them. We chatted with our girls about other family members, and raised a glass to them.
    6. Have a ‘no plans’ day and notice how that feels. I will do this tomorrow (7th)
    7. Take three calm breaths at regular intervals during your day.Resisting the temptation to plan my day. Serendipity reigns today.
    8. Eat mindfully. Appreciate the taste, texture and email of your food. ✔️
    9. Take a full breath in and out before you reply to others. I’m a great advocate of deep breathing, and find this works well.
    10. Get outside and notice how the weather feels on your face.I wasn’t looking forward to going outside this morning as we had snow overnight and it seemed very cold. However, the sun shone in a clear blue sky, and the wind had dropped right down again, and I spent time with my eyes closed feeling the heat on my face before I went into the centre for Latin Study.
    11. Stay fully present while drinking your cup of tea or coffee. Always! Gives me calm thinking time.
    12. Listen deeply to someone and really hear what they are saying. When I tried to do this with DH this morning, he got distracted by a discussion on What the Papers Say on TV. 😝 However, we often have in-depth discussions, usually over lunc and dinner.
    13. Pause to watch the sky or clouds for a few minutes today. The sun was valiantly trying to break through rain clouds just after sunrise, but the forecast is for heavy showers, but I’m watching the blue patches in hope that it clears up.
    14. Find ways to enjoy any chores or tasks that you do.Doing the task isn’t the problem 😝 It’s getting started that’s difficult. I sometimes put on my favourite music, or listen to a podcast.
    15. Stop. Breathe. Notice. Repeat regularly.
    16. Get really absorbed with an interesting or creative activity.
    17. Look around and spot three thing you find unusual or pleasant.
    18. If you find yourself rushing, make an effort to slow down.
    19. Appreciate nature around you wherever you are.
    20. Focus on what makes you and others happy today.
    21. Listen to a piece of music without doing anything else.
    22. Notice something that is going well, even if today feels difficult.
    23. Tune into your feelings, without judging or trying to change them.
    24. Appreciate your hands and all the things they enable you to do.
    25 Focus your attention on the good things you take for granted.
    26. Choose too spend less times looking at screens today.
    27. Cultivate a feeling of loving-kindness towards others today.
    28. Notice when you are tired and take a break as soon as possible.
    29. Choose a different route today and see
    what you notice.
    30. Mentally scan your body and notice what you are feeling.
    31. Discover the joy in the simple things of life.

  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,184 Member
    Barbara- I don't remember the name of mom's tractor. It is small and has a removeable trailer. I will have to look at it closer the next time I am over there in a few weeks.
    Thank you for the prayers for Destiny- she needs all she can get
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,193 Member
    👣🌻😺🐾
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,247 Member
    Stats for the day-

    Walk w/family RAIN- 1hr 41min 20sec, 2.79ap, 73elev, 86ahr, 109mhr, 4.93mi= 525c
    Strava app= 604c
    Zwift home bike trainer- strava stats- 39.15min, 17amph, 92elev, 76aw, 107ahr, 129mhr, 11.10mi= 244c
    Strava app= 171c
    Zwift stats- 39.20min, 92elev, 76aw, 53arpm, 16.93amph, 11.1mi= 171c
    Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 32.36min, 18.8amph, 213elev, 120aw, 110ahr, 132mhr, 35-50gear, 10.21mi= 221c
    Zwift stats- 32.37min, 214elev, 120aw, 46arpm, 18.76amph, 10.2mi= 223c

    Total mi= 21.31mi

    Total cal 990


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