WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2023
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11. Set yourself an exercise goal or sign up to an activity challenge. More steps today than yesterday.
Post office magazine came. Saw new issue of tulip blooms, thought of Margaret. Turned page and there was Kylia’s Mustang at top of the pony cars list.
Mary thanks for letting us know you make the broth on top of the stove, that’s what I do with the turkey carcass after Thanksgiving, and will be the plan for when I use up the last of it and the two Sam’s Choice organics I bought. Tried my first cuppa yesterday when I was cold and soaking from the rain. Warmed me up but unfortunately kept me from being hungry too long, ended up eating dinner after nine pm. Gonna schedule next cup earlier in the day.
Tracey I’m using my laptop for mfp and the time to advance to next page is at least twelve seconds.
Rori your travel plans brought sweet memories of my train trip from Brighton to Inverness 50+? years ago. Remember waking to beautiful scenery, green hills, peaty brown creeks so clear you could see their rocky beds, glorious sunshine (that day
). Thanks and safe travels.
Machka just mfp for me.
Time to feed the pooches, make tuna salad, do PT. Maybe by then it will be warm enough to take the dogs down to the powerline meadow.04/10: Move: Line dance class, Jeopardy walking. steps:8997
Fuel: plants running count for week so far: 8+10+3 =almonds, apple, banana, beans-cannelini, bell peppers-orange/red/yellow, cabbage, caramel corn, carrots, cucumber, daikon, garlic, horseradish, onion, pineapple, potatoes-boiled/hash browns, snap peas, tea, walnuts, wheat-cake/pasta. CI =361
Live: Joe, readings, BP, post office, gas, recycling, visit D. Wt:137.3:astonished:
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2023: Be of good cheer. April: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.
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Just passing through! Good thoughts and best wishes for all!
Carol in GA8 -
April 2023 Action for Happiness
Word of the year: Appreciate : today I appreciate meditation to reduce stress.Exercise goals added
Yoga 10 mins 3 times a week 5/15 (100%,100%,80%)
Walk 7,000 every day 9/30 (84%,86%,94%)
6 min HIIT -2x a day start April 1 18/60
Arm weights twice a week 2/10 (100%, 60%hurt my elbow, hurt my shoulder 30%)
Meditation: daily. 10/30 (82%(started Feb)94%)
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(100%,100%,0%)
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 9867, 9491, (7,700,100%-9851,100%—9526,100%)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 4/2 —(100%,100%,100%,100%)
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 23/158/ —(100%,100%,100%)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)35/64–(100%,100%,100%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4 (100%,100%,100%)
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. 10/20-(100%,88%,100)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 14/12 (100%,100%,100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR——4/12—(100%.100%,100%,100%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25(100%,100%,100%,100%)
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings (100%)
Decided that if I do more than stated I will not grade higher than 100% 2/5/23
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met
May met
June met
July met — met
August met
September met
October met —
November met—
December met—
ACTIVE APRIL
1.Commit to being more active this month starting today. I commit to this by adding the exercises from the 6 minute book for over 60’s.10. Have a day with less screen time and more movement. I’ll try.
2. Spend as much time as possible outdoors today. Easy! LOL
3. Listen to your body and be grateful for what it can do. I do this during walking meditations every day.
4. Eat healthy and natural food today and drinks lots of water. Yogurt and raspberries for breakfast with 17 oz water bottle and coffee, more to come.
5. Turn a regular activity into a playful game today. Not sure. Joked with hairdresser while getting hair cut. Everyone was laughing and joining in.
6. Do a body-scan meditation and really notice how your body feels. I do this often in my meditations.
7. Get natural light early in the day. Dim the lights in the evening. Morning done. Will do in evening.
8. give your body a boost by laughing or making someone laugh. I will as soon as I can! Did this with friends.
9. Turn your housework or chores into a fun form of exercise. Hmmmm tbd
11. Set yourself an exercise goal or sign up to an activity challenge. Already have goals: Yoga 10 mins 3 times a week, Walk 7,000 every day, 6 min HIIT -2x a day, Arm weights twice a week12. Move as much as possible, even if you’re stuck inside
13. Make sleep a priority and go to bed in good time.
14. Relax your body & mind with yoga, tai chi or meditation.
15. Get active by singing today (even if you think you can’t sing)
16. Go exploring around your local area and notice new things
17. Be active outside. Dig up weeds or plant some seeds
18. Try a new online exercise, activity or dance class.
19. Spend less time sitting today. Get up and move more often.
20. Focus on eating ‘a rainbow of multi-colored vegetables today.
21. Regularly pause to stretch and breathe during the day.
22. Enjoy moving to your favorite music. Really go for it.
23. Go out and do an errand for a loved one or neighbor.
24. Get active in nature. Feed the birds or go wild-life spotting.
25. Have a ‘no screens’ night and take time to recharge yourself.
26. Take an extra break in your day and walk outside for 15 minutes
27. Find a fun exercise to do while waiting for the kettle to boil (or pan of water.)
28. Meet a friend outside for a walk and a chat.
29. Become an activist for a cause you really believe in
30. Make time to run, swim, dance, cycle or stretch today
RVRita
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So I am unhappy. Just bummed.
-middle son, his wife, wife's mom, Athena, wife's friend, friends mom and friends child all went to Canada, Vancouver BC specifically. Do they mention it to us 2 and a half hours away? Nope. Do they stop by coming or leaving? Nope.
-middle sister said she'd video chat with me over Easter. Did she? Nope. She was online. She had posted fiddle farty cute videos, but never answered any of my questions on Messenger. The only way she does respond is when I ask her anything. But even that didn't clue her in. I told her when she does that, NOT ENGAGE, it makes me feel insignificant. She texted back "you're not insignificant, we'll chat later". I said ok maybe this weekend. Well that has come and gone.
-sent a message to Chaplain on youngest sons ship. I just gave him a heads up that a very significant letter was going to arrive for son, and if he could touch base with son, asking if he needs to talk about it, that it would be much appreciated. Nothing so far.
So I am just venting that it feels that many in my family aren't showing up to the plate with communication. I realize that everyone has their own lives but I just feel left out. That feeling puts me in a spiral.
Now my eldest sailor son and I chatted over the weekend, so that made me feel better. My MILs 90th birthday was yesterday, so we had a nice chat on the phone. Sadly last week her youngest son (he's my age) had passed away from complications of kidney failure. He was on dialysis almost daily, his diabetes out of control. He has been away from family for many years, married a lady, had a gaggle of kids in Utah. He just cut off ties with family, so we haven't seen him 30+ years. It was a weird situation. He had started calling his momma though, over the last couple of years which was good.
Athena pulling a "I don't want to be in photo" move.😂
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
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Rebecca- ive gotten those feelings alot too..people know im on my own and that I like to get involved when there are things to do ,or go places..but most of the time im not invited and it hurts...
I got over it though..
Tom had Alfie over for doggie daycare while i was watching Miles today.
Poor Homer is walking into walls his eyesight is shot and think the doggy dementia is getting worse.
But he sure was happy to see me and i picked him up and he licked me,even Tom doesn't get that lol.
Seth came down on the moped ,but Carmine has therapy today so he will have to come back..
From what Tracy says Carmine is head over heels.. ahhh first love..
Little boy roughing it this morning.3 -
Just worked today, but I don’t tomorrow!!! So that means I can get to the gym. I’m planning to do a 20-40-60 workout on the treadmill. Then I have a dentist appt at 11. There wasn’t much prep that needed to be done.
Understand that they got a 92 on the health inspection. That is NOT good, not at all.
Went to Hamrick’s since they have pants on sale, but they didn’t have the color I wanted in my size. So stopped at Gabe’s since it’s right next door. Nothing. BUT….stopped at Ollies and got some chlorinating solution. I remember they’d had it a while ago so thought I’d stop in to see and, sure enough, they had it so I got a case. Now home in a few will start to take the leaves out of the pool. We need to go to the open house at ceramics tonight. No painting, but she wants to have a good turn out. I hate to say it, but I hope not too many people are interested! Better for us. I need a white pocketbook but all that I could find was gray. Guess I have to wait until later in the summer
Mary – good luck with the casserole. Let me know how it turns out
Tracey – no, we don’t have a written contract. We didn’t with the other landscaper. He was so very good about the drain in the backyard, that’s what has me puzzled.
Rori – thanks for sharing that video. Boy, are they flexible!
Anne – yea for rolled pants!
Michele NC1 -
fanncy0626 wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »?? about making bone broth-
I see you use apple cider vinegar.
Does it have to be that type?
I have all kinds of vinegar(rice, red wine, white) but not apple cider.
I researched it and it does not have to be apple cider vinegar, you can use any acidic liquid, including other vinegars, wine or even lemon juice. At least a quarter cup.
💕 Mary from Arizona/Minnesota
thank you1 -
(((Rebecca)))
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I don’t know why it doesn’t bother me to be left out of other people’s plans. I hardly ever take it personally, even when perhaps I should.
Maybe it stems from years of working evenings, weekends, and holidays?
In any case, I have very little, if any, FOMO, and no resentment or curiosity about being left out.
The one exception concerns my son. His mistaken assumptions about my divorce from his father (and the ripple effects from those mistaken assumptions) created a distance between us a long time ago. My wife and I aren’t in his “inner circle”, even though I believe he has forgiven me for divorcing his father. Old habits die hard. We haven’t been an integral part of their lives for years, since before the grandchildren were born, and they are 17 and 14 now. I think about it once in awhile, but in all honesty, it disrupts the rhythm of my son’s family’s life when we are included in their plans, and it takes a lot of energy all the way around. I have a full life with other family and friends and am realistic about it. It’s nice when we get together about 5 times a year. His dad is over there every weekend. I wouldn’t want that either, but once a month would suit me. I’ll make that a goal to work toward.
Karen in Virginia
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Rebecca ... it would seem you're not the only one in your family that has (sadly now "had a child") that severed communication. Is your MIL someone you could talk to about your situation? She would surely understand on a level that most cannot. My heart hurts for you. Hugs.
Bone Broth ... I make it all the time ... on the stove ... don't use the vinegar and it's so gelatinous that you could spread it like jelly. I do roast the beef bones first. But I just use a cooked chicken's carcass with everything I didn't want to eat (skin, etc). If the chicken wasn't cooked; I roast it first. The trick for me is cooking it at a bare simmer for a long time. At least 10 hours for the beef bones and 6 hours for the chicken. I use it for everything and anything that calls for chicken broth or stock. It's darker in color but my family is ok with that.
My husband and I are working together now at the yard clean-up. I won't use a chainsaw and a lot needs to be cut up. We're maybe 2/3 of the way to having it done. Nice week here in my area but then they're calling for snow
Beth near Buffalo
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I have a problem with the ringing in my ears, but find if I keep the radio on low it helps. My staff at work has learned to leave the radio alone when I am working. I have it on christian music which has a calming effect.
Rebecca--HUGS! Family can hurt us the worst. Been there more then I want to think about.
We had a nice weekend and I got Dianne home and settled from the hospital. I just pray she does ok on her own. Then got my other friend Kay to the heart doctor yesterday and she got a good report. Back to work today and within an hour all the stress is there.Want to cry and walk, but that is not going to pay the bills.
Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE where today and tomorrow is to be in the 80's then back to 40-50's.What to get some flowers planted in my flower boxes but have to wait until it stays about 50 at night.
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I went shopping & had lunch with friends. I checked in with DH as soon as I got home. He is resting. 😊
Katla in Illinois3 -
Carla - it was probably me who mentioned the Don Fiore Tai Chi videos. I like some of his older ones better where he filmed in a little studio/his house, but these newer ones outside are really nice.
Rori - so nice to hear from you again! So glad you are out and getting ready to vacation over Heather's direction. I hope you girls are planning to get into some trouble, lol.
It will be a year next month my DH has been gone, I was looking at the closet yesterday and am ready for another round of purging. I held on to a lot of his clothing - shirts, jackets, sweats - to see if I could be using any of it since we were comparable in size. And, some still has good memories. So not going to do heavy purging.
Allie - sorry I'm late, love your cute glasses! I wear similar around the house, I got them maybe 10 years ago. My new glasses are a hassle - special anti-glare coating that have to be washed carefully and are easily scratched (they didn't tell me until I picked them up), transitions is too dark, etc. These "camp" glasses are just fine. I don't have a phone smart enough to take a selfie, but this is them. Blingy.
Mary - you look great, stunning blue eyes! You absolutely look younger all over. Way to go with the bone broth and better skin.
Slow loading.... Everything seems to load fairly quickly on my laptop and my Fire tablet. I can refresh MFP in about 3 seconds. I seem to have a problem when there are long quotes or large jpeg files that aren't being put into spoilers and my tablet has trouble, especially with photos or memes. And as I scroll through the the long quotes, I tend to skip over the comments on my tablet. I can't select "copy" and put it into a spoiler on my tablet so folks likely have the same problem with phones? I try to save comments using quotes for the laptop and my handy dandy mouse and the "spoiler" feature to condense things.
By the way, every few weeks I try to get the page to load and get a "gateway error" if that means anything. Generally I just try again in a couple minutes and it's fine.
Chickies - they are growing like wildfire and need to be moved out the house. I wish we'd get some sunny days in the 70's at least so I could put them out for a little bit in a rabbit cage in the lawn so they could burn off energy, I know they are getting stir crazy in their big plastic tote. Right now I have the tote lined with newspaper and some pine shavings to keep them occupied, need to change it at least once a day.
But they are cute. Wing and tail feathers growing more each day. They'll be three weeks old tomorrow. Will try to get an updated photo of the girls to post here.
I started this post about 8 hours ago, lol. Better hit "reply"! I see new posts have come in all day and I'll check them out later.
Have a great evening!
Lanette
SW WA State
10 -
I loved feeding hummingbirds at our home in St. Helens, Oregon, for many years. I have missed them since our move to Illinois. Today I put a filled hummingbird feeder on my window. I hope that local hummingbirds will find it. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I am able to watch them in the near future. 🤞🏻 🤞🏻 🤞🏻
Katla in Illinois5 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 1hr 52min 32sec, 63elev, 2.92ap, 90ahr, 123mhr, 6.08mi= 620c
Strava app= 683c
Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 35.31min, 387elev, 107aw, 34gear, 17amph, 101ahr, 116mhr, 10.07mi= 196c
Strava app= 219c
Zwift stats- 35.36min, 390elev, 48arpm, 107aw, 17.02amph, 10.1mi=219c
Total cal 816
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Evening ladies
Im tucked in ,im tired.. sleeping with the windows open.. yipee..and running errands with Tracy after she gets out tomorrow.
A couple more of little boy to end your day..5 -
Rebecca: Sorry your family doesn't communicate steadily. Mine doesn't either except for my mother. This is one reason I post here. This gives me as much communication as I want, any time of day or night!!!
Lanette: Loved the dance video!
Michele: Arriving early to church would have challenged my husband. He was lucky to make it on time to church.
Terri: The picnic sound fun! Sorry it got cut short by the rain!!
KJLamore: I wrote down the names of the comedians you mentioned. Since I mourn every day, I might try and laugh once or twice a week. Thank you for the suggestions!
Carol: Nice to see pictures of your good looking family!
Heather: Nice picture of your good looking family! Great about ordering the greeting cards!
Debbie: Did Destiny go home yet? Yes, clothes must be comfortable or they will just hang in the closet.
Grandmallie: I liked seeing Miles in his white sweater
Machka: Love your Easter Break summary! Love the poster about patience!
MargertTurk: Beautiful flowers that you posted.
Mary: Nice picture of you with your family!
Tracey: Sorry your boss is such a stressor!
Beth: Great your Mom got to church!
Well I am going along. I had a tough night a couple of nights ago and shared some of my feelings with my son by text. He didn't respond, so I texted a while later. Sorry if I over shared. He responded ...No your good....LOL! He never responded to a word I said and hasn't since! I feel I could use more support!
So I am going to zoom with a coach from England later in the month. She is the author of a book about grief and now does coaching. I am looking forward to speaking with her.
I did go to my son's in laws on Easter. It was a nice meal and afterwards we petted and hung out with their goats...some of which are babies and very cute. I drove 2 hours each way to attend the Easter meal and did well driving. It was easy drive...rural roads....but just getting back into leaving town now.
I am still using Plate Joy to cook. So I am cooking a lot by following recipes while listening to classical music. Tonight I had veggie sausages and cauliflower with onion and about 5 spices...the main one being Rosemary.
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia!
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myvt9v4crh wrote: »I loved feeding hummingbirds at our home in St. Helens, Oregon, for many years. I have missed them since our move to Illinois. Today I put a filled hummingbird feeder on my window. I hope that local hummingbirds will find it. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I am able to watch them in the near future. 🤞🏻 🤞🏻 🤞🏻
Katla in Illinois
I really love seeing the humming birds. I hope they find your feeder soon so you can enjoy them.
I had one drinking out of my solar fountain yesterday while I was working in my green house.
I also saw three today while walking the wetlands. There is one that is in the same spot every day I walk out there. Just sits and looks right at me. No mater what time I go he is there. Usually I go around 12:30, on Wed, it is 11:30, the other night I was there at 5:30PM and he was there.
I need to make up some humming bird food for my house and get the feeder filled and remember to fill up the fountain. It went down almost 5 inches just since yesterday.
Debbie2 -
Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Rebecca: Sorry your family doesn't communicate steadily. Mine doesn't either except for my mother. This is one reason I post here. This gives me as much communication as I want, any time of day or night!!!
Michele: Arriving early to church would have challenged my husband. He was lucky to make it on time to church.
Debbie: Did Destiny go home yet? Yes, clothes must be comfortable or they will just hang in the closet.
I am still using Plate Joy to cook. So I am cooking a lot by following recipes while listening to classical music. Tonight I had veggie sausages and cauliflower with onion and about 5 spices...the main one being Rosemary.
Best,
Rosemarie from Georgia!
When dh was going to church with me, we were always running late. Now he doesn't go at all. If he wanted to, he could make it but he goes to his moms and stays there until I leave for church then comes home or comes home right as I am leaving. No desire to go at all. Before his mom's accident, he was always looking for an excuse to not go. It has been. It has been ten months yesterday since her accident. When he did go, he spent more time on his phone than he did listening.Especially the music. The choir does a special song and then there is a special solo/duet/trio/? each week. This past week, on Easter, they were both amazing. Thankfully one of the ladies recorded and shared them on Facebook.
No, Destiny has not gone home yet. This is the latest her mom posted; It was posted 2 days ago:
Update: she will be starting radiation on some spots that showed up on her last pet scan on Monday.. she still in a lot of pain. They are trying to control it with oral oxy and iv dilaudid. For us to go home we have to control her pain with only oral.. since we can’t take home the iv… the tentative discharge date is wed or Thursday..
I will be making veggies with sausage tomorrow night- potatoes, onions, celery, sausage w/ garlic. I have tons of fresh rosemary. Pruned part of it yesterday. Filled half the yard waste bin with it. It is taking over. It started out as a little one in a one gallon pot that my dad started for me. It is now over 7ft wide and almost 6 ft high until I prune it back
Tonight is stuffed baked potatoes. Trying to use up the potatoes a friend gave us before they sprout too much.
Debbie
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Beth I never used the apple cider vinegar when I made bone broth for my soups or other things. I only started using it when I read information on how it draws the nutrients and collagen out of the bones. If yours is like jelly then you’re doing well! It’s full of collagen. My husband used to do it at his restaurant for all sorts of soups and things like that and he always did it constant. Always had a pot on the stove. I also read one of the ladies does hers for three hours, then she uses that for soup, and she put more water and ACV in it, and at 24 hours she takes that out, then she adds water again along with the apple cider vinegar, and cooks it another 24 hours. So she has three different batches! She says as long as it is still in a jelly form that it has collagen in it. Interesting ways that all work!
💕Mary from Arizona/Minnesota
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1941940
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This has been a good day. 💖
Katla in IL6 -
Hello ladies!
Today I ate 1083 calories Yay! And I biked for twenty minutes and did dumbbells for seventy five minutes, Yay! For a deficit of 404 Yay! Some days it just goes well. I was tempted to snack after dinner, but I shook it off.
I found three pair of my soft pants that are too big, and I bought two new pair on Amazon. With pockets!! Yay! It's a risk to buy clothes online, but I can learn to return them if necessary. I'm eager to see them!
Annie in Delaware
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Well I shouted my frustration to husband! I don't often yell at husband, but when I do its a doozy. I was so frustrated because the first thing out of husbands mouth was, "what you're feeling isn't rational". I told him, " I know technically we can't go to Canada right now, nor inserting us into the mixture of daughter in law, her friend, and both moms, but you not hearing me is frustrating. It was their weekend. Its just so maddening knowing we were literally 45 minutes away if we would've driven to MT Vernon and met them for coffee etc. But its not easy traveling with two young kids as my DILs friend had a young 3 yr old son. The fact that son did not even mention he was going to be in our area is a bit sneaky to me. I mean I know it wasn't his call to make any plans with us, and maybe my DIL and friend planned everything, but not saying another seemed like they were avoiding us.
I know my version of life is different than most. I put a higher priority on communication. Being a Navy wife and mom, communication is love, its family and its stability for me. Back when we were active duty, I knew I had to have my support system in place when husband would go out to sea. So I made it a point to meet friends I could depend on in times of emergency. When family or friends don't answer my "bugle call" so to speak, it feels like they don't care. But in reality its just life.
I talked to my eldest sister and she talked me down. I was really in a spiral, but she got me in a good place. She's my lifeline sometimes.💖👍🏻
Today I simmered some chicken broth I made over the weekend, and cut up some onion, potato, and a few chunks of kielbasa sausage, and a small hunk of cabbage.
Tonight I shall sleep well, as today was quite an emotional day. Hugs ladies
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa15 -
1951950
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Machka - I am on an iPhone. I’ve done everything, including uninstalling and reinstalling the app. It’s just MFP.
Annie - how exciting for smaller pants!
Rebecca - I sort of understand how middle son and family didn’t stop in. Maybe they were invited to join in on the trip, it would be a lot for everyone to show up probably. It sucks they hadn’t told you about their plans ahead of time to prepare you or to allow you to meet them for a coffee.
I used to have to tell my Dad when I made plans that didn’t include him way ahead of time or he made me feel guilty. It always tended to ruin my experience.
As a Mom though, I truly understand! I get frustrated at times with one of my girls who does everything and drives everywhere with her friends but doesn’t come see me. I always remind myself how I felt with Dad and never say anything though.
I hope your family starts appreciating you need more contact soon.
Vicki - I too am trying so hard to not just walk out on my job. I’m so very sick at the thought of working with my boss.
I applied for 4 jobs tonight.
Michele - I hope they done end up giving you a huge unexpected bill.
Lanette - it’s hard to believe that a year has passed already. Hugs to you.
Debbie - I just saved a post that had what plant to plant in a pot to repel mosquitoes, one was Rosemary. Will it grow that big in a pot? Also, I assume they are perennial so do I have to bring them in in the winter?
Another miserable day at work. I swear she is trying to get me to quit. She is not a nice person. I applied for 4 jobs tonight.
Tracey in Edmonton12 -
Tracey glad to hear about your niece. It’s nice that she has a support system. My husband tags along with me and has suffered a weight gain because of my injury preventing me from working out as I normally would have. Now that I am able to swing my kettlebell he swings with me. Not as many as I do though. I think that he is a little stiff from Parkinson’s. As long as I can stay active he will join me. I hope that your work situation improves!
Rori good luck to your basketball team! Let us know how they do! You have many things to look forward to in the near future! I’m very happy for you.
Rebecca My husband and I are going through the exact same situation you are. I am sorry that you have to deal with this. It’s really hurtful to feel rejected by your youngest son. I really truthfully don’t think that your daughter in law intended to hurt your feelings and make you feel left out. She might not have even planned the trip. She could have been the one invited. Two of my husbands daughters haven’t talked to us for almost two years now. I think that your counselor gave you some good advice. We might have to do something similar. As hurtful as it is we can’t control anyone but ourselves. Give as much love as you can to those around you and especially to yourself. We are all here for you!
💕Mary from Arizona/Minnesota7 -
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Rosemarie - I hear your grief. Your loss is very recent and you spent so long caring for your dear husband. The hole in your life that he left behind must be huge.
Sons are not always the best people to turn to for the support you need. He is grieving in his own way and probably has no idea what to say to you. My son avoids any 'feelings' talk with me, and he is married to a psychologist!
I'm glad you have found a counsellor, they can be very helpful. There is a lot more openesss about grief and mourning these days than there used to be, thanks to the Internet. I have listened to a few podcasts because I have been helping my friend L through the loss of her husband. There are two young women doing one called 'Good Mourning', which I have found helpful. The age difference and their different circumstances means it is not directly applicable, but the feelings are relatable to. There are other podcasts, so it might be worth googling and trying a few. Books are good, as you have found, (I'm a grest fan of books) and there are a lot out there now. There are also online groups.
Or you might just want to spend time in your grief, by yourself, talking to your husband. Only you know what helps you. I just wanted you to know that I hear you and sympathise. From all my readings and research I just know that everyone grieves in their own way, there is no right way, and it's all OK.
Sending love from across the pond.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
Speaking as the child in the story, since I have not given birth to a child ...
Once children become adults, they have their own lives. They need to be able to spread their wings and do their own things.
I was fortunate to have parents who encouraged me to do that and who had their own lives too.
That's probably how my immediate family lives in 3 different countries now, all of us doing our own thing.
M in Oz3 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »Rosemarie - I hear your grief. Your loss is very recent and you spent so long caring for your dear husband. The hole in your life that he left behind must be huge.
Sons are not always the best people to turn to for the support you need. He is grieving in his own way and probably has no idea what to say to you. My son avoids any 'feelings' talk with me, and he is married to a psychologist!
I'm glad you have found a counsellor, they can be very helpful. There is a lot more openesss about grief and mourning these days than there used to be, thanks to the Internet. I have listened to a few podcasts because I have been helping my friend L through the loss of her husband. There are two young women doing one called 'Good Mourning', which I have found helpful. The age difference and their different circumstances means it is not directly applicable, but the feelings are relatable to. There are other podcasts, so it might be worth googling and trying a few. Books are good, as you have found, (I'm a grest fan of books) and there are a lot out there now. There are also online groups.
Or you might just want to spend time in your grief, by yourself, talking to your husband. Only you know what helps you. I just wanted you to know that I hear you and sympathise. From all my readings and research I just know that everyone grieves in their own way, there is no right way, and it's all OK.
Sending love from across the pond.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Well said!
Also, when my husband had his accident, I went through a grieving process and tried to talk to various people with no success until I found a neuropsychologist who understood.
M in Oz
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