WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2023

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  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,907 Member
    margaretturk wrote: »
    Rebecca When our son died none of my immediate family came to his funeral for various reasons. The support I got was from the friends and the the cousins I have in this area. Yes it hurt. I do talk to my immediate family on occasion. I am glad most are doing well. Many of my friends are heavily involved with grandchildren, travel , and their own lives, so again I stay in touch and am happy when I do get to see them when it works out. Along with my DH I have three friends who are facing major medical issues. Again I see them as they and I are able . My solution to dealing with this chapter in my life is to involve myself in the things I love to do painting, enjoying my dog DrewB, gardening, playing Scrable with son, maintaining two houses, reading, volunteering in neighbors classroom, singing in my choir. Doing the things that nurture me.

    One of my favorite things to do is just to go out into the world and having short conversations with strangers or the treat yesterday was to run into the friend of my son who is a police officer. It was so good to chat with him. He was patrolling the Target that had the shooting. Just knowing he was there in the Target store, and he is working in my community makes me feel safer.

    I know you are hurting Rebecca. What works for me as I deal with my own hurts may or may not work for you. Everyone has to find their own way. Just know I respect your feelings and I believe in you to find what works for you.

    I appreciate you.💖. Perspective is a self righting thing. It sometimes takes a tumble to figure out again, how we get back upright again. Sometimes I shout, cry, and be an all encompassing mass of emotions, like a ball of yarn. I forget that I need to knit something. These are all visuals I guess. I do like our remoteness. I do like the wildness of our little island. I like the small town feel of everything. I am where I am supposed to be. Hugs friend!
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,273 Member
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »

    Debbie - I just saved a post that had what plant to plant in a pot to repel mosquitoes, one was Rosemary. Will it grow that big in a pot? Also, I assume they are perennial so do I have to bring them in in the winter?

    Another miserable day at work. I swear she is trying to get me to quit. She is not a nice person. I applied for 4 jobs tonight.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    My rosemary started in a pot but grew through the bottom and busted the pot. We have mild winters so never need to move things in-should have covered some this winter because of the rain- lost a few of my succulents from the excess rain.

    Debbie


  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,907 Member
    auntiebk wrote: »
    12. Move as much as possible, even if you’re stuck inside. One more step than yesterday.
    Lanette thanks for that “I’m happy” video. “Get up and dance!” is indeed the magic formula. ;):love: the glasses and so with you about the peace, quiet and own bathroom :laugh:
    Rebecca ((hugs)) when my line dance acquaintances exclude me it stings. How much more must it hurt from your sons. ((hugs)) Unasked for advice: When things calm down, try to find a magic word to say so the chief knows when to just listen and not invalidate your feelings. Glad your eldest sister was able to help.
    Katla hope the local hummingbirds find your feeder soon.
    Rosemarie I feel you could use more support too. Hope you find it here since it doesn’t seem to be your son’s strong suit. ((hugs))
    Debbie we’ve had to make new juice for the humming bird feeders every other day lately. Lots of new ones despite Mr. Stinker trying to drive all comers away.
    Vicki whooshing you strength to survive your difficult work situations.
    Tracey Brava for the applications, taking what steps you can. Fingers Xd.
    Heather and Margaret love your wise words to Rosemarie.
    Machka not just apple products, affected my Windows laptop too. But its better this morning, no waiting between pages. Congrats on the bagsfull of badges!
    Carla ok now you’ve made me want to checkout Lanette’s Don Fiore T’ai Chi. Thanks!

    Gonna be a long day, casserole-athon, line dance class, rfpd budget and board meetings tonight. Time for PT, Shower then go!
    04/11: Move:dogs to powerline, Jeopardy walking steps:9071
    Fuel: plants running count for week so far: 8+10+3+6 =almonds, apple, banana, beans-cannelini, bell peppers-orange/red/yellow, cabbage, caramel corn, carrots, corn chips, cucumber, daikon, garlic, horseradish, macadamia nuts, onion, pineapple, potatoes-boiled/hash browns, radish, romaine, snap peas, sweet potato, tangerines, tea, walnuts, wheat-cake/pasta/sourdough. CI=1312
    Live: Joe, readings, BP, meeting prep, Shadow and Tumble grooming Wt: 136

    Lighter, lovelies!
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD x8zcp1ya37k1.gif
    2023: Be of good cheer. April: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.

    I would imagine that does make you feel hurt. Hugs! My sons each relate to me in such different ways, so my kind of knee jerk pity party started because I was so high from my interaction of a video chat with eldest, then my middle son (and troop) was so close? It was so frustrating! Today is a new day, and I can see and feel more clear headed.👍🏻💖. My sisters word she gave me to text to her the next time I feel so overwhelmed is "sneaker wave". To husband I need to just share mire of my feeling before they come to a boiling point. I will have alot to share with my counselor this week!
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,907 Member
    LisaInArkansas wrote: »
    Good morning, afternoon or evening, all,

    Rebecca, dear heart - Men can sometimes say things that jump up and down on our last nerves, and that phrasing was unfortunate on his part. You weren't trying to be logical or rational at the time, and I can't imagine you shout very often. It used to hurt me terribly when I would visit Mama in Texas, flying in from England or Colorado or Nevada and my brothers wouldn't even drive 20 miles to see me at her house. Our own expectations drive that pain--but that's in hindsight. At the time, it just hurt. Heather had the right of it - the male of the species genuinely doesn't think the way we do on the emotional side of things. I doubt my brothers ever thought about it one way or the other.

    Katla and Debbie - You reminded me I need to get my humming bird feeders up. There's enough food in the wild out there now that it's warm that the big bird suet feeder is less frequented, time to give the little guys a boost while the flowers get up and blooming.

    Tracey - I'm so sorry work is such torture right now. Dreading your every workday is exhausting, and colors your whole life gray. I've been in your shoes, and it is not a good place to be. Thinking about you.

    Rori - Good to see you're planning your next adventure! Can't wait to see pics of your journey. Hope your team does well in the playoffs.

    Lanette - I love Ed Sheeran, but hadn't heard that one. Such grief and truth in the same place. My go to when I was hurting was "Walking on Broken Glass," by Annie Lennox.
    https://youtu.be/y25stK5ymlA

    Had a rough night Monday, the worst in a long time, and a wobbly day yesterday recovering. Today is better--slept for nearly ten hours and woke up hungry. I'll go get breakfast put together when I close this out. Quiet week for the rest of the week, which is probably a good thing.

    Next week is fasting labs on Monday morning, and signing the wills and trusts on Tuesday afternoon, so one thing accomplished anyway. I'll be able to get the lab results by Wednesday, so can put together the list of questions for the doctor for my phone appointment the following week. Otherwise I forget what I wanted to ask!

    Hope it's a good day for everyone...

    Love y'all,
    Lisa in AR




    Very true! I had the same thing happen to us when we took a MAC flight from Japan to CA and no one wanted to come visit from Oregon. Of course my father said with that long of a flight, just rent a car and continue up! I learned whether a country away or a state away, it was all the same. The situation is still the same. Most everyone is in a radius of 2 hours, and we are away with 4/5 trip. Its not within their radius of travel. I try not to take it personally. I don't think my son had much of a say in this adventure, he was just a tagalong. 💖💖🙃😁
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,907 Member
    sh0tzz99 wrote: »
    Whidislander wrote: »
    Well I shouted my frustration to husband! I don't often yell at husband, but when I do its a doozy. I was so frustrated because the first thing out of husbands mouth was, "what you're feeling isn't rational". I told him, " I know technically we can't go to Canada right now, nor inserting us into the mixture of daughter in law, her friend, and both moms, but you not hearing me is frustrating. It was their weekend. Its just so maddening knowing we were literally 45 minutes away if we would've driven to MT Vernon and met them for coffee etc. But its not easy traveling with two young kids as my DILs friend had a young 3 yr old son. The fact that son did not even mention he was going to be in our area is a bit sneaky to me. I mean I know it wasn't his call to make any plans with us, and maybe my DIL and friend planned everything, but not saying another seemed like they were avoiding us.
    I know my version of life is different than most. I put a higher priority on communication. Being a Navy wife and mom, communication is love, its family and its stability for me. Back when we were active duty, I knew I had to have my support system in place when husband would go out to sea. So I made it a point to meet friends I could depend on in times of emergency. When family or friends don't answer my "bugle call" so to speak, it feels like they don't care. But in reality its just life.
    I talked to my eldest sister and she talked me down. I was really in a spiral, but she got me in a good place. She's my lifeline sometimes.💖👍🏻
    Today I simmered some chicken broth I made over the weekend, and cut up some onion, potato, and a few chunks of kielbasa sausage, and a small hunk of cabbage.
    Tonight I shall sleep well, as today was quite an emotional day. Hugs ladies
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa

    The fact that anyone thinks feelings have to be rational, is so incredibly irritating. Emotions most certainly are not always rational. My mister said that to me in an argument about 2 years ago and I still struggle with that statement. It was his way of "getting out" of the situation he put himself in; i.e., it wasn't his fault I was angry, it was mine because I reacted "irrationally." So, we discuss the rationality of emotions from time to time in a calm manner and I point out his emotions and their rationality from time to time as well. Such as when he gets angry and screams at his computer screen because a website doesn't work the way he thinks it should. Rational?

    I think you have a right to your feelings, no matter what anyone else thinks. Sometimes, we just want to be heard. We hear you.

    Tina in CA

    I appreciate the kind words! 💖👍🏻 Its nice to be heard. My eldest sister gets me, as she has been attending "grief share meetings" weekly at her church. She has been sharing with me as well, and its helped. I guess we all need to be heard and understood. This is the first time I have felt so conflicted regarding my middle son. Today though, I can understand things a bit more, its clearer. Yesterday I was just all emotions, and feelings. It was kinda comical yelling to husband about the rationality of it all. Let me be irrational!💖🙃
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,711 Member
    Rebecca - I love the term sneaker wave!!!
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    Hello ladies!

    Well my doctor visit for sciatica was inconclusive. She found a slightly misaligned vertebrae that may or may not be the problem. She ordered PT for four weeks, but I never asked about continuing dumbbells or yoga or biking or aerobic walking. My fault. And then a follow-up visit to see if it gets better. But it's already better, and I did say so. PT is always a good thing for the body but it will mess up my exercise schedule and calorie logging. Hmm. I was sort of considering PT for my right knee anyway. Maybe I will call them on Friday.

    Lisa sorry you had a bad day.

    Is it Tracey and Vicki who have bad supervisors? My last supervisor was one of the reasons I retired, along with medical stuff. They really can make a job miserable and impossible. I was trained the old way, and she went to a new training school, then blamed me for not knowing what she had been taught. Her writing style was also opposite from mine. It was a very awkward and painful exit. Anyway, water under the bridge now. I do wish I had explored more alternatives within the organization. Good luck to both of you, here's a wish that something changes for the better.

    I'm not having trouble loading MFP pages, this time around. I'm on an Android phone.

    Annie in Delaware
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,265 Member
    :) Welcome Patty I am 77 years old with my own laundry list of aches and pains. I have developed my good habits of eating and exercise with the help of "Better Than Before " by Gretchen Rubin and "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Also by actively participating on this thread with all the Women Ages 50+

    I hope you will keep coming back

    <3 Barbie in NW WA
  • westparktallaght
    westparktallaght Posts: 17 Member
    Hello all, started health eating on Monday. Weighed in 13:13, hopeing to get to 12 stone in the coming weeks. From Dublin Ireland age 53😊
  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,799 Member
    edited April 2023
    We are very proud of ourselves for getting to the French Circle, despite the howling wind and the sideways torrential rain. :o We did splash out on an Uber, but got the bus back as it was just spitting by then.
    Because the speaker was French, we didn't understand everything she was saying, but got enough to make sense of it. Lots of slides. The history of Haute Couture, from the beginning, with emphasis on Chanel and YSL. The woman we had chatted to before was there and we rode back on the bus together, swapping details of our lives. So, a warm glow of accomplishment. The audience was predictably thin! :D
    We didn't eat out beforehand this time because we are planning to take the kids out for pizza on Saturday. It gets very expensive! I made a gorgeous pizza at home, which we shared. It's a frozen wholemeal dough.

    We are planning another painting afternoon tomorrow. DH has some great sketches. I have no idea what to paint, but I might have another go at a sub Karen's brother. :p

    Love you all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,837 Member
    Vickil57 wrote: »
    Rebecca--HUGS! Sometimes we just have to feel.
    Tracey--Good Luck with the job hunt. I keep telling myself at my age (66) it would be hard to find something that pays what I make now and who would hire me when I could retire anytime. Just I want to be out of debt for the most part and want to say I have been at the hospital 40 years.
    Going to be another warm day. I did stop at the gym on my way out after work. Plan is to do that today. Baby steps.
    Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE <3

    Vicki ... how much longer to reach 40 years and get out of debt?

    Beth
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,907 Member
    GodMomKim wrote: »
    Rebecca - I love the term sneaker wave!!!

    My sisters and I made that up after our Mom passed. It felt like it, from the gasping, to the drowning, to feeling like you're being dragged out to sea. 💖
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,699 Member
    OregonMother wrote: »
    My husband received a very generous job offer this morning from a company he is not sure he wants to work for. The hiring process has been a mess, and if that's an indication of the company . . . Still, I am hopeful he takes it. It is 100% remote and starts Monday. Having him unemployed has been stressful.

    Hugs to you, Rebecca. My feelings are often hurt by people, as well.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley OR

    Fortunately the hiring process is not necessarily an indication of the whole company, especially if it is a big company. Each department could be quite different from the others.

    M in Oz
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,160 Member
    Machka9 wrote: »
    TerriRichardson112 wrote: »
    Machka: It is just MFP! Everything else is running fine. Both app and website on my phone and tablet.

    ☘️ Terri

    You've got a Mac? Apple products?
    It’s seems to have been sorted out now.
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,160 Member
    Washed my car ready for its MOT tomorrow. I have flower arranging after lunch, then DH is going to take my car to the testing centre while I get dinner ready.

    Intentions for April:
    🔹Maintain weight < 140 (I have managed to stay at the lower end of the 140s)
    🔹Continue with Solid Habit development

    Intentions for today:
    📍Solid habits✔️
    📍general chores✔️
    📍weekly grocery shopping ✔️


    Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.

    🙋‍♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.

    ☘️ Terri
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,367 Member
    Vickil57 wrote: »
    Rebecca--HUGS! Sometimes we just have to feel.
    Tracey--Good Luck with the job hunt. I keep telling myself at my age (66) it would be hard to find something that pays what I make now and who would hire me when I could retire anytime. Just I want to be out of debt for the most part and want to say I have been at the hospital 40 years.
    Going to be another warm day. I did stop at the gym on my way out after work. Plan is to do that today. Baby steps.
    Blessings, Vicki GRAND ISLAND, NE <3

    Guess what I got in the mail today! Thanks so much for your donation!!!!
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,367 Member
    Stats for the day-

    Walk w/family- approx 2hrs, 48elev, 6.09ap, 96ahr, 129mhr, 6.09mi= 592c
    Strava app= 708c
    Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 52.06min, 407elev, 34gear, 110aw, 17.3amph, 105ahr, 131mhr, 15.04mi= 275c
    Strava app= 325c
    Zwift stats- 52min, 407elev, 109aw, 49arpm, 17.31amph, 15mi= 326c

    Total cal 681
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,306 Member
    Good evening ladies!

    Today I ate 1083 calories Yay! And I did twenty minutes on the bike, and an hour of yoga, and thirty minutes of aerobic walking Yay! For a deficit of 498 Yay!

    Annie in Delaware
  • OregonMother
    OregonMother Posts: 1,671 Member
    Whidislander wrote: »
    Darn it, my youngest sailor sons really important letter was returned to me! It said undeliverable. So because its changing home port? This has never happened before. I have left messages on emails of Chaplain, and Ombudsman. Hopefully I will figure out what's up.
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa

    Oh, Rebecca! I'm so sorry. That's so disappointing. I hope you get an answer soon.

    Flea
    Willamette Valley, OR
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,078 Member
    <3
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    <3
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,412 Member
    edited April 2023
    Rosemarie,

    Your son’s response to your grief was so disappointing. I’m so sorry. There are lots of good listeners here. <3

    Karen in VIrginia

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