WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2023
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Karen: Thank you! It is lonely that he responded that way. However, as Heather says he has his own grief to deal with.
I think he wishes he had visited more this past year. He was newly married and we wanted the marriage to get off to a good start so we didn't ask him to come more often. And the marriage seems to be going well.
I will have to have a counsellor for support for awhile. I don't want to burden my friends with my feelings as several of them are widowed and by this point everyone I know has grieved someone. As Lanette says, staying busy helps. Staying in the house brooding is not healthy!7 -
One of the best books I've read recently (read it, then listened to it because it was so great) was "Four Thousand Weeks--Time Management for Mortals" by Oliver Burkeman. One interesting point he made was about how modern conveniences no longer hold the wonder they did when they first arrived. Instead of being delighted that we can drive automobiles on paved roads to get where we want to go, we get irritated if someone ahead of us drives too slowly or doesn't pull out immediately when the light turns green. Instead of being delighted at all the things we can do via the internet that used to require waiting for the mail to carry a message and deliver a response, we fuss at the internet when it's not fast enough. When I was a child and a teenager, my maternal grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. all lived in and around NYC. We traveled to visit them frequently and never had time to see the sights. My mother said she'd like to go to NYC sometime as a tourist and not tell her parents that she was coming so she could see the sights and not spend her whole time with them. I didn't visit the Statue of Liberty until I was past 40 and all the relatives had died. We haven't been anywhere in years and don't foresee going anywhere, but I decided that we should renew our passports anyway, just in case something comes up. Maybe this is because we've been watching Jason Bourne movies on Netflix and travel videos on YouTube. Nice weather today (sunshine and 60 degrees) so we both got outside and got some yard work done.
Barbie in NW WA
Further on that ... I am a firm believer that I (and we?) should be local tourists.
People come to our parts of the world to see the sites, but it can be tempting for us to go elsewhere and never or rarely see our own local sites.
Also, I discovered that I may need to renew one of my passports soon on the chance we might one day leave our little island.
And ... my parents made sure to teach me something. If I want to visit family, that's fine. But just don't do it on every trip. They suggested visiting family one year and travelling to another destination the next year.
Even when we have visited them they encourage us to spend some of the time travelling on our own.
So if we've been in Canada for 3 weeks, we will have spent a week on Vancouver Island or somewhere travelling on our own.
Machka in Oz7 -
Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Karen: Thank you! It is lonely that he responded that way. However, as Heather says he has his own grief to deal with.
I think he wishes he had visited more this past year. He was newly married and we wanted the marriage to get off to a good start so we didn't ask him to come more often. And the marriage seems to be going well.
I will have to have a counsellor for support for awhile. I don't want to burden my friends with my feelings as several of them are widowed and by this point everyone I know has grieved someone. As Lanette says, staying busy helps. Staying in the house brooding is not healthy!
That's good ... family and friends are not necessarily equipped to handle things like grief.
M in Oz5 -
ACTIVE APRIL1. Commit to being more active this month starting today. Yes!
2. Spend as much time as possible outdoors today. Yes!
3. Listen to your body and be grateful for what it can do. Yes! I can garden, which requires all sorts of body motion, and cycle.
4. Eat healthy and natural food today and drinks lots of water. Yes! Ate my usual food and drank lots of water up till about 8 pm. We won't talk about what happened after that.
5. Turn a regular activity into a playful game today. Hmmm ... Walking around the shops? Climbing stairs?
6. Do a body-scan meditation and really notice how your body feels. Achy.
7. Get natural light early in the day. Dim the lights in the evening.
There isn't much light early in the day here. Plus I was sleeping then. Plus it was cloudy, drizzly and rainy all day.
But I do dim the lights in the evening. It's one of many steps I take to wind down in the evenings to prepare myself for the night.
8. give your body a boost by laughing or making someone laugh
I rarely laugh. Most things don't strike me funny.
Lots of things amuse me, but not enough for laughter.
9. Turn your housework or chores into a fun form of exercise
I often do, but as today's work involved sitting at 2 computers, I walked on the treadmill during a break instead.
10. Have a day with less screen time and more movement
Unfortunately, today was another day sitting at 2 computers.
But I did go downstairs to row and lift weights.
Hoping the rain will let up soon!!! It's been 4 days already!
11. Set yourself an exercise goal or sign up to an activity challenge
One of my more favourite areas!!
We aim to cycle at least one 50 km ride each month and have been doing that for a while. At our AGM at the end of March, we got a bag full of these each. 
We will have to see when we can fit our April ride in ... the 5 days off over Easter would have been good but it rained and rained and was cold and windy. Snow at higher elevations.
Maybe next weekend ... we'll see.
AND ... one of the bigger running events moved their event to September which is fantastic for me. Originally, it was this month, but I was nowhere near ready to even sign up for the 5K. Now I've got the winter to get in shape.
Also, now that I'm working back in the same building I was in about 16 months ago, with many of the same people, we've started our stair climbing challenge again. We are easing into it this month because of Easter and ANZAC Day but we'll be ready to be much more consistent in May.
The stair climbing challenge is exciting because when I'm busy climbing 20+ flights of 20 stairs each day I am at work, I lose weight.
12. Move as much as possible, even if you’re stuck inside
Absolutely! I climbed stairs.
13. Make sleep a priority and go to bed in good time
I do when I have to work the next day ... make sure I get at least 7 hours of sleep.
But I am not keen on that. I'm a night owl and like to get things done late at night. Having to be in bed by 11:45 pm is a bit uncomfortably early.18. Relax your body & mind with yoga, tai chi or meditation.
19. Get active by singing today (even if you think you can’t sing)
27. Go exploring around your local area and notice new things
28. Be active outside. Dig up weeds or plant some seeds
29. Try a new online exercise, activity or dance class.
30. Spend less time sitting today. Get up and move more often.
31. Focus on eating ‘a rainbow of multi-colored vegetables today.
32. Regularly pause to stretch and breathe during the day.
33. Enjoy moving to your favorite music. Really go for it.
34. Go out and do an errand for a loved one or neighbor.
35. Get active in nature. Feed the birds or go wild-life spotting.
36. Have a ‘no screens’ night and take time to recharge yourself.
37. Take an extra break in your day and walk outside for 15 minutes
38. Find a fun exercise to do while waiting for the kettle to boil (or pan of water.)
39. Meet a friend outside for a walk and a chat.
40. Become an activist for a cause you really believe in
41. Make time to run, swim, dance, cycle or stretch today
Machka in Oz
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pajerwatson wrote: »Hoping to find some motivation here. I’m 77 years old, have diabetes and I’m trying hard to do what I need to do. Going for a Bike ride with my husband in a Few minutes. Sometimes it’s so windy we have to skip the bike ride. But I try to do some chair yoga and
chair exercise. Patty in Brandon Mississippi
How did the bicycle ride go?0 -
I want to be different than I have been. my 50 yr body is talking to me and i dont listen well. i have never been engaged in an online group. just trying something new to see if it serves as support I need for a while.9
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Does anyone here listen to Sara Raymond meditations?
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I just finished reading House of Eve by Sadiqa Johnson and am now listening to The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman (audiobook). Prior to that I read A World of Curiosities by Louise Penny and Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd. All for the Book Club.
I love reading, and being in the Book Club has helped me get started again! The discussion of Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd was disappointing because it was an unpopular book among the women in the Book Club. Only 3 of us enjoyed it, and the rest didn’t like it, didn’t finish reading it, or didn’t start reading it once they discovered the plot/subject matter.
However, the discussion of the last book, A World of Curiosities, was very fun and interesting.
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Today I have woodcarving, then a swimming class with my wife. This afternoon there will be an informative talk by the Executive Director of our community with a guest speaker (Fire Marshall). It should be interesting.
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My brother’s friend Marilyn (the viola maker) will be visiting April 15-20. We can hardly wait! It will be so fun.
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I’m watching an episode of White Lotus each day. It’s such an interesting series. I adore Jennifer Coolidge in her role as Tanya McQuoid. She played manicurist Paulette Bonafonté in Legally Blonde.
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Karen in Virginia5 -
Welcome newbies! (((hugs))) to those who need them.
Oh Flea! Prayers for discernment. I hope he takes the job just to get back into the swing. You know they say you're more employable when you're employed. Perhaps the better job is waiting right around the corner once he has this one and is working for 6 months or a year.
13. Make sleep a priority and go to bed in good time... I actually have an alarm to GO TO BED! LOL
Love and Blessings, Carla, in MN4 -
pajerwatson wrote: »Hoping to find some motivation here. I’m 77 years old, have diabetes and I’m trying hard to do what I need to do. Going for a Bike ride with my husband in a Few minutes. Sometimes it’s so windy we have to skip the bike ride. But I try to do some chair yoga and
chair exercise. Patty in Brandon Mississippiwestparktallaght wrote: »Hello all, started health eating on Monday. Weighed in 13:13, hopeing to get to 12 stone in the coming weeks. From Dublin Ireland age 53😊I want to be different than I have been. my 50 yr body is talking to me and i dont listen well. i have never been engaged in an online group. just trying something new to see if it serves as support I need for a while.
Welcome here!
This is a very fast moving thread.
Don't feel you have to read or respond to all the posts ... just leap in when there's a topic of interest or if you would like to tell us a bit about yourself and what you're doing. 
10 Things About Me
1. Age: I'm in my mid-50s
2. Live: I live in Tasmania, Australia
3. Work: Still working almost full-time, in a data/accounting combination
4. Family: I'm a carer for my husband
5. Sports: My favourite sport is cycling, but I like being active in general
6. Hobbies: Colouring, Gardening, Reading
7. Season: My favourite season is summer
8. Movie: The movie I have seen most often is likely Princess Bride.
9. Pet: A lovely black male cat called Rhody
10. Food: My favourite type of food is Mexican
Machka in Oz
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Karen, I started reading the Louise Penny books some months ago and am now on the tenth in the series. Did you read them in order? A wise person told me that the best listener for my troubles is "someone who will be understanding yet unaffected " That's what I found on this thread Barbie in NW WA 8
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Happy Thursday!
Carol in GA1 -
Barbie ... I don't think I've ever taken the time to tell you how much I appreciate your posts. They are thoughtful, centered and insightful. Thank you.
Beth4 -
Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Karen: Thank you! It is lonely that he responded that way. However, as Heather says he has his own grief to deal with.
I think he wishes he had visited more this past year. He was newly married and we wanted the marriage to get off to a good start so we didn't ask him to come more often. And the marriage seems to be going well.
I will have to have a counsellor for support for awhile. I don't want to burden my friends with my feelings as several of them are widowed and by this point everyone I know has grieved someone. As Lanette says, staying busy helps. Staying in the house brooding is not healthy!
That's good ... family and friends are not necessarily equipped to handle things like grief.
M in Oz
I agree. As I said before I found when I was going through my grief I was often trying to make someone else feel better. It was interesting too the people who suddenly popped out of the woodwork too who took energy from me at at time I could least afford it. What I learned from the experience is it is not time to listen to others tales of loss. It is time to honor the person I just lost. It is time to just sit quietly with the person and just be there. Depending on your relationship with the person you might be one who helps to limit visitors if needed. Let the griever decide who they will and will not see at this time. I think I told you about the Muslim custom of all the woman just sitting in a circle around the grieving woman and taking care of everything for her and just letting her grieve. A custom we could learn to help us through losses.11 -
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margaretturk wrote: »Rosemarie2972 wrote: »Karen: Thank you! It is lonely that he responded that way. However, as Heather says he has his own grief to deal with.
I think he wishes he had visited more this past year. He was newly married and we wanted the marriage to get off to a good start so we didn't ask him to come more often. And the marriage seems to be going well.
I will have to have a counsellor for support for awhile. I don't want to burden my friends with my feelings as several of them are widowed and by this point everyone I know has grieved someone. As Lanette says, staying busy helps. Staying in the house brooding is not healthy!
That's good ... family and friends are not necessarily equipped to handle things like grief.
M in Oz
I agree. As I said before I found when I was going through my grief I was often trying to make someone else feel better. It was interesting too the people who suddenly popped out of the woodwork too who took energy from me at at time I could least afford it. What I learned from the experience is it is not time to listen to others tales of loss. It is time to honor the person I just lost. It is time to just sit quietly with the person and just be there. Depending on your relationship with the person you might be one who helps to limit visitors if needed. Let the griever decide who they will and will not see at this time. I think I told you about the Muslim custom of all the woman just sitting in a circle around the grieving woman and taking care of everything for her and just letting her grieve. A custom we could learn to help us through losses.
I agree. In the month or so after my husband's accident, I could barely hold it together and yet people suddenly started telling me all about their friends who had various injuries or illnesses and asking my advice or if I could write a few words of encouragement or whatever. People have never asked me that before or since, but just in that month, they all emerged from the woodwork.6 -
😊 This morning is off to a good start. DH has had physical therapy already & is making progress. I am pleased with how well he is doing. ❤️
Katla in Illinois8 -
Good morning ladies!
My dad is getting older. Yesterday he went to the dentist and couldn't find the entrance to the shopping center, even though he was just there on Monday. He drove around it until he was late, and the dentist called us. He finally did find it. He said to me that some day he is going to go out walking and not remember the way home. So sad, but I'm glad he recognizes the issue. So he is closer to being willing to carry a tracking device.
Annie in Delaware8 -
I have heard from my friend L, that a lot of people now think she should be well on her way to recovering from her grief. They rarely mention her loved one, whereas he is most definitely still in her life. When she mentions him, most people ignore it. That feels dismissive to her.
A bit of me is impatient with the slowness of change, but I know better than to urge that on anyone. I just let her talk as she wants to. The inside of someone's head is completely unique to them.
We decided to have another painting session this afternoon. I couldn't decide what to do, but I wanted to draw a couple. I caught a glimpse of a Picasso style painting online, so, inspired, I outlined something and just experimented. A very different style to my usual, but I think it's good to push yourself. I had fun. Not entirely satisfied with the result, but I feel it says something. Not sure what!!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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