WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR APRIL 2023

Options
1…3233353738…82

Replies

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,375 Member
    Options
    We have French Circle tonight, but the weather is atrocious. Rain and very high winds. My palm tree is rocking and rolling outside my bedroom window. I emailed the woman we chatted to at the venue a couple of times and told her we were going, so I feel I have to. DH suggested that we get an Uber. I'm planning to make an early pizza at around 5.15, so will have to decide then. A big part of me would much rather stay at home. :#
    I do feel we have to support the group, who are entirely voluntary and work extremely hard. The speaker has come from France.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,738 Member
    Options
    196196
  • sh0tzz99
    sh0tzz99 Posts: 963 Member
    Options
    Whidislander wrote: »
    Well I shouted my frustration to husband! I don't often yell at husband, but when I do its a doozy. I was so frustrated because the first thing out of husbands mouth was, "what you're feeling isn't rational". I told him, " I know technically we can't go to Canada right now, nor inserting us into the mixture of daughter in law, her friend, and both moms, but you not hearing me is frustrating. It was their weekend. Its just so maddening knowing we were literally 45 minutes away if we would've driven to MT Vernon and met them for coffee etc. But its not easy traveling with two young kids as my DILs friend had a young 3 yr old son. The fact that son did not even mention he was going to be in our area is a bit sneaky to me. I mean I know it wasn't his call to make any plans with us, and maybe my DIL and friend planned everything, but not saying another seemed like they were avoiding us.
    I know my version of life is different than most. I put a higher priority on communication. Being a Navy wife and mom, communication is love, its family and its stability for me. Back when we were active duty, I knew I had to have my support system in place when husband would go out to sea. So I made it a point to meet friends I could depend on in times of emergency. When family or friends don't answer my "bugle call" so to speak, it feels like they don't care. But in reality its just life.
    I talked to my eldest sister and she talked me down. I was really in a spiral, but she got me in a good place. She's my lifeline sometimes.💖👍🏻
    Today I simmered some chicken broth I made over the weekend, and cut up some onion, potato, and a few chunks of kielbasa sausage, and a small hunk of cabbage.
    Tonight I shall sleep well, as today was quite an emotional day. Hugs ladies
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa

    The fact that anyone thinks feelings have to be rational, is so incredibly irritating. Emotions most certainly are not always rational. My mister said that to me in an argument about 2 years ago and I still struggle with that statement. It was his way of "getting out" of the situation he put himself in; i.e., it wasn't his fault I was angry, it was mine because I reacted "irrationally." So, we discuss the rationality of emotions from time to time in a calm manner and I point out his emotions and their rationality from time to time as well. Such as when he gets angry and screams at his computer screen because a website doesn't work the way he thinks it should. Rational?

    I think you have a right to your feelings, no matter what anyone else thinks. Sometimes, we just want to be heard. We hear you.

    Tina in CA
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,549 Member
    Options
    Anniesquats100 wrote: »
    Good morning my friends!

    I have a doctor appointment today for my sciatica. It was pretty bad two weeks ago when I made the appointment but it has gotten much better. Yay! I still want to get the X-ray and find out if it is bone or muscle or what that pinches the nerve. I can't say exactly what positions or exercises cause it to flare up. I used to have bursitis on that side but that went away. My stretches must be doing some good.

    Rebecca I'm sorry you are so hurt. Hope you can come to some shared expectations so it doesn't happen again.

    Annie in Delaware

    I wrestle with if I should even tell them how hurt I felt. I mean they are young, I did the same when I would travel with kids from CA to OR to see my family. If my husband was with, we of course would see his mom and she would rally his side of the family together at a restaurant or at home. But sometimes it was just kids and I, and I wouldn't take the time to visit them. It just seemed weird to ask my family to take me over to her. My time was limited. So I get it. I am turning into that old lady, whining that no one visits her.🙃💖
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • sh0tzz99
    sh0tzz99 Posts: 963 Member
    Options
    Anniesquats100 wrote: »
    Hello ladies!

    Today I ate 1083 calories Yay! And I biked for twenty minutes and did dumbbells for seventy five minutes, Yay! For a deficit of 404 Yay! Some days it just goes well. I was tempted to snack after dinner, but I shook it off.

    I found three pair of my soft pants that are too big, and I bought two new pair on Amazon. With pockets!! Yay! It's a risk to buy clothes online, but I can learn to return them if necessary. I'm eager to see them!

    Annie in Delaware

    Congrats! I have tried buying clothes at physical stores and they just don't have nice things in my size anymore. They expect you to order them anyway, even if you have it shipped to a store. So, shop away online. It's easy to return with Amazon and you get to try them on in your home on your timeframe.

    Tina in CA
  • myvt9v4crh
    myvt9v4crh Posts: 391 Member
    Options
    <3
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,549 Member
    Options
    margaretturk wrote: »
    Rebecca When our son died none of my immediate family came to his funeral for various reasons. The support I got was from the friends and the the cousins I have in this area. Yes it hurt. I do talk to my immediate family on occasion. I am glad most are doing well. Many of my friends are heavily involved with grandchildren, travel , and their own lives, so again I stay in touch and am happy when I do get to see them when it works out. Along with my DH I have three friends who are facing major medical issues. Again I see them as they and I are able . My solution to dealing with this chapter in my life is to involve myself in the things I love to do painting, enjoying my dog DrewB, gardening, playing Scrable with son, maintaining two houses, reading, volunteering in neighbors classroom, singing in my choir. Doing the things that nurture me.

    One of my favorite things to do is just to go out into the world and having short conversations with strangers or the treat yesterday was to run into the friend of my son who is a police officer. It was so good to chat with him. He was patrolling the Target that had the shooting. Just knowing he was there in the Target store, and he is working in my community makes me feel safer.

    I know you are hurting Rebecca. What works for me as I deal with my own hurts may or may not work for you. Everyone has to find their own way. Just know I respect your feelings and I believe in you to find what works for you.

    I appreciate you.💖. Perspective is a self righting thing. It sometimes takes a tumble to figure out again, how we get back upright again. Sometimes I shout, cry, and be an all encompassing mass of emotions, like a ball of yarn. I forget that I need to knit something. These are all visuals I guess. I do like our remoteness. I do like the wildness of our little island. I like the small town feel of everything. I am where I am supposed to be. Hugs friend!
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,039 Member
    Options
    Snowflake1968 wrote: »

    Debbie - I just saved a post that had what plant to plant in a pot to repel mosquitoes, one was Rosemary. Will it grow that big in a pot? Also, I assume they are perennial so do I have to bring them in in the winter?

    Another miserable day at work. I swear she is trying to get me to quit. She is not a nice person. I applied for 4 jobs tonight.

    Tracey in Edmonton

    My rosemary started in a pot but grew through the bottom and busted the pot. We have mild winters so never need to move things in-should have covered some this winter because of the rain- lost a few of my succulents from the excess rain.

    Debbie


  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,549 Member
    Options
    auntiebk wrote: »
    12. Move as much as possible, even if you’re stuck inside. One more step than yesterday.
    Lanette thanks for that “I’m happy” video. “Get up and dance!” is indeed the magic formula. ;):love: the glasses and so with you about the peace, quiet and own bathroom :laugh:
    Rebecca ((hugs)) when my line dance acquaintances exclude me it stings. How much more must it hurt from your sons. ((hugs)) Unasked for advice: When things calm down, try to find a magic word to say so the chief knows when to just listen and not invalidate your feelings. Glad your eldest sister was able to help.
    Katla hope the local hummingbirds find your feeder soon.
    Rosemarie I feel you could use more support too. Hope you find it here since it doesn’t seem to be your son’s strong suit. ((hugs))
    Debbie we’ve had to make new juice for the humming bird feeders every other day lately. Lots of new ones despite Mr. Stinker trying to drive all comers away.
    Vicki whooshing you strength to survive your difficult work situations.
    Tracey Brava for the applications, taking what steps you can. Fingers Xd.
    Heather and Margaret love your wise words to Rosemarie.
    Machka not just apple products, affected my Windows laptop too. But its better this morning, no waiting between pages. Congrats on the bagsfull of badges!
    Carla ok now you’ve made me want to checkout Lanette’s Don Fiore T’ai Chi. Thanks!

    Gonna be a long day, casserole-athon, line dance class, rfpd budget and board meetings tonight. Time for PT, Shower then go!
    04/11: Move:dogs to powerline, Jeopardy walking steps:9071
    Fuel: plants running count for week so far: 8+10+3+6 =almonds, apple, banana, beans-cannelini, bell peppers-orange/red/yellow, cabbage, caramel corn, carrots, corn chips, cucumber, daikon, garlic, horseradish, macadamia nuts, onion, pineapple, potatoes-boiled/hash browns, radish, romaine, snap peas, sweet potato, tangerines, tea, walnuts, wheat-cake/pasta/sourdough. CI=1312
    Live: Joe, readings, BP, meeting prep, Shadow and Tumble grooming Wt: 136

    Lighter, lovelies!
    Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD x8zcp1ya37k1.gif
    2023: Be of good cheer. April: Move more, fuel better, live NOW.

    I would imagine that does make you feel hurt. Hugs! My sons each relate to me in such different ways, so my kind of knee jerk pity party started because I was so high from my interaction of a video chat with eldest, then my middle son (and troop) was so close? It was so frustrating! Today is a new day, and I can see and feel more clear headed.👍🏻💖. My sisters word she gave me to text to her the next time I feel so overwhelmed is "sneaker wave". To husband I need to just share mire of my feeling before they come to a boiling point. I will have alot to share with my counselor this week!
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,549 Member
    Options
    LisaInArkansas wrote: »
    Good morning, afternoon or evening, all,

    Rebecca, dear heart - Men can sometimes say things that jump up and down on our last nerves, and that phrasing was unfortunate on his part. You weren't trying to be logical or rational at the time, and I can't imagine you shout very often. It used to hurt me terribly when I would visit Mama in Texas, flying in from England or Colorado or Nevada and my brothers wouldn't even drive 20 miles to see me at her house. Our own expectations drive that pain--but that's in hindsight. At the time, it just hurt. Heather had the right of it - the male of the species genuinely doesn't think the way we do on the emotional side of things. I doubt my brothers ever thought about it one way or the other.

    Katla and Debbie - You reminded me I need to get my humming bird feeders up. There's enough food in the wild out there now that it's warm that the big bird suet feeder is less frequented, time to give the little guys a boost while the flowers get up and blooming.

    Tracey - I'm so sorry work is such torture right now. Dreading your every workday is exhausting, and colors your whole life gray. I've been in your shoes, and it is not a good place to be. Thinking about you.

    Rori - Good to see you're planning your next adventure! Can't wait to see pics of your journey. Hope your team does well in the playoffs.

    Lanette - I love Ed Sheeran, but hadn't heard that one. Such grief and truth in the same place. My go to when I was hurting was "Walking on Broken Glass," by Annie Lennox.
    https://youtu.be/y25stK5ymlA

    Had a rough night Monday, the worst in a long time, and a wobbly day yesterday recovering. Today is better--slept for nearly ten hours and woke up hungry. I'll go get breakfast put together when I close this out. Quiet week for the rest of the week, which is probably a good thing.

    Next week is fasting labs on Monday morning, and signing the wills and trusts on Tuesday afternoon, so one thing accomplished anyway. I'll be able to get the lab results by Wednesday, so can put together the list of questions for the doctor for my phone appointment the following week. Otherwise I forget what I wanted to ask!

    Hope it's a good day for everyone...

    Love y'all,
    Lisa in AR




    Very true! I had the same thing happen to us when we took a MAC flight from Japan to CA and no one wanted to come visit from Oregon. Of course my father said with that long of a flight, just rent a car and continue up! I learned whether a country away or a state away, it was all the same. The situation is still the same. Most everyone is in a radius of 2 hours, and we are away with 4/5 trip. Its not within their radius of travel. I try not to take it personally. I don't think my son had much of a say in this adventure, he was just a tagalong. 💖💖🙃😁
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,549 Member
    Options
    sh0tzz99 wrote: »
    Whidislander wrote: »
    Well I shouted my frustration to husband! I don't often yell at husband, but when I do its a doozy. I was so frustrated because the first thing out of husbands mouth was, "what you're feeling isn't rational". I told him, " I know technically we can't go to Canada right now, nor inserting us into the mixture of daughter in law, her friend, and both moms, but you not hearing me is frustrating. It was their weekend. Its just so maddening knowing we were literally 45 minutes away if we would've driven to MT Vernon and met them for coffee etc. But its not easy traveling with two young kids as my DILs friend had a young 3 yr old son. The fact that son did not even mention he was going to be in our area is a bit sneaky to me. I mean I know it wasn't his call to make any plans with us, and maybe my DIL and friend planned everything, but not saying another seemed like they were avoiding us.
    I know my version of life is different than most. I put a higher priority on communication. Being a Navy wife and mom, communication is love, its family and its stability for me. Back when we were active duty, I knew I had to have my support system in place when husband would go out to sea. So I made it a point to meet friends I could depend on in times of emergency. When family or friends don't answer my "bugle call" so to speak, it feels like they don't care. But in reality its just life.
    I talked to my eldest sister and she talked me down. I was really in a spiral, but she got me in a good place. She's my lifeline sometimes.💖👍🏻
    Today I simmered some chicken broth I made over the weekend, and cut up some onion, potato, and a few chunks of kielbasa sausage, and a small hunk of cabbage.
    Tonight I shall sleep well, as today was quite an emotional day. Hugs ladies
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa

    The fact that anyone thinks feelings have to be rational, is so incredibly irritating. Emotions most certainly are not always rational. My mister said that to me in an argument about 2 years ago and I still struggle with that statement. It was his way of "getting out" of the situation he put himself in; i.e., it wasn't his fault I was angry, it was mine because I reacted "irrationally." So, we discuss the rationality of emotions from time to time in a calm manner and I point out his emotions and their rationality from time to time as well. Such as when he gets angry and screams at his computer screen because a website doesn't work the way he thinks it should. Rational?

    I think you have a right to your feelings, no matter what anyone else thinks. Sometimes, we just want to be heard. We hear you.

    Tina in CA

    I appreciate the kind words! 💖👍🏻 Its nice to be heard. My eldest sister gets me, as she has been attending "grief share meetings" weekly at her church. She has been sharing with me as well, and its helped. I guess we all need to be heard and understood. This is the first time I have felt so conflicted regarding my middle son. Today though, I can understand things a bit more, its clearer. Yesterday I was just all emotions, and feelings. It was kinda comical yelling to husband about the rationality of it all. Let me be irrational!💖🙃
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • GodMomKim
    GodMomKim Posts: 3,661 Member
    Options
    Rebecca - I love the term sneaker wave!!!
  • Anniesquats100
    Anniesquats100 Posts: 3,123 Member
    Options
    Hello ladies!

    Well my doctor visit for sciatica was inconclusive. She found a slightly misaligned vertebrae that may or may not be the problem. She ordered PT for four weeks, but I never asked about continuing dumbbells or yoga or biking or aerobic walking. My fault. And then a follow-up visit to see if it gets better. But it's already better, and I did say so. PT is always a good thing for the body but it will mess up my exercise schedule and calorie logging. Hmm. I was sort of considering PT for my right knee anyway. Maybe I will call them on Friday.

    Lisa sorry you had a bad day.

    Is it Tracey and Vicki who have bad supervisors? My last supervisor was one of the reasons I retired, along with medical stuff. They really can make a job miserable and impossible. I was trained the old way, and she went to a new training school, then blamed me for not knowing what she had been taught. Her writing style was also opposite from mine. It was a very awkward and painful exit. Anyway, water under the bridge now. I do wish I had explored more alternatives within the organization. Good luck to both of you, here's a wish that something changes for the better.

    I'm not having trouble loading MFP pages, this time around. I'm on an Android phone.

    Annie in Delaware
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,997 Member
    Options
    :) Welcome Patty I am 77 years old with my own laundry list of aches and pains. I have developed my good habits of eating and exercise with the help of "Better Than Before " by Gretchen Rubin and "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. Also by actively participating on this thread with all the Women Ages 50+

    I hope you will keep coming back

    <3 Barbie in NW WA

Categories