WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR NOVEMBER 2023

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  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,615 Member
    kevrit wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    cityjaneLondon wrote: »
    Rita - I try to live my life with 'loving detachment'. I don't always succeed because I am an empath. :) Most spiritual principles require practice and discipline, and they get easier with practice. I am still practicing. :p

    Love Heather, still recovering from her empathy with the poor pigeon. UK xxxxxxxx

    I'm more of an "apath" :smiley:

    Although I feel more empathy toward animals than people.



    But you took me by surprise. From your posts, I would have put you slightly closer to the apath end of the "empath---apath" scale than to the empath end. Of course, I don't know you in person.



    M in Oz

    I had to look up the difference between apath and empath. I think you are correct, I try to have empathy, I used to be good at that until the divorce, and some other things that happened during that time. That pushed me more toward apath. I am now trying to get my empathy back. Being on 3 depression/anxiety medications takes a lot of feeling away….

    RVRita

    BTW when I referred to apath, I was thinking along the lines of being apathetic. Not out to hurt anyone, but low on the feelings end of things. Like someone on the autistic spectrum.
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,615 Member
    sh0tzz99 wrote: »
    Machka9 wrote: »
    sh0tzz99 wrote: »
    Annie, Kylia, Rita, and others in need of hugs...sent your way!

    What makes a sad day a bit better? Seeing all the pics of the kiddos in your lives! Thanks for sharing your families.

    Back to the kitchen. Baking and cooking make me feel better.

    Tina in CA

    Sorry about your friend. :(

    That kind of hit me because of what I went through a little over 5 years ago with my husband ... and the man across the ward from him who didn't survive his severe brain injury.

    :(

    I'm very sorry. I guess I should have put in a trigger warning and in a spoiler.

    Tina in CA



    It's OK. These things happen from time to time.
  • sh0tzz99
    sh0tzz99 Posts: 971 Member
    Poerava14 wrote: »
    Annie: You are so brave and compassionate to begin palliative care for your mother. I have had only amazing experiences with hospice care. I suggested it my friend Amy's husband in Poconos, but it was too late. She passed in the hospital ICU. 😥

    Tina: My sympathies on the loss of your dear friend.

    Rori
    Colorado Foothills

    I am so sorry about your dear friend. :'(

    Tina in CA
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,899 Member
    Poerava14 wrote: »
    Annie: You are so brave and compassionate to begin palliative care for your mother. I have had only amazing experiences with hospice care. I suggested it my friend Amy's husband in Poconos, but it was too late. She passed in the hospital ICU. 😥

    Tina: My sympathies on the loss of your dear friend.

    Rori
    Colorado Foothills

    We cross-posted... I'm so sorry about your friend, Rori.
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 10,098 Member
    Well i raked the leaves before going out.. bad mistake..been hacking and sneezing ever since.going to bed early.
  • dlfk202000
    dlfk202000 Posts: 3,193 Member
    grandmallie wrote: »
    Debbie- all you have to do is dispute it with the credit card company and they will take care of the problem..thats what I did..only thing is they charged darn near 50.00 dollars for taxes and its coming from brooklyn n.y. to Connecticut through UPS.i won't get that back. But will hopefully get what I paid for the phone back..
    Tina- so very sorry about your friend ,sure hope they find who hit him,and prosecute,vehicular manslaughter is no joke.
    My prayers to him and his family.
    Had a lovely dinner with my friends here tonight which is always nice.

    mine was taken care of . Full amount refunded.
    That is what they should do for you- you shouldn't be out that much money for something they screwed up on. I would fight it.
  • 1948CWB
    1948CWB Posts: 1,607 Member
    :)
  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 17,274 Member
    Stats for the day-

    walk w/family- 2hrs 4min 5sec, 61elev, 2.94ap, 88ahr, 105mhr, 6.16mi= 611c
    Strava app = 755c
    Zwift home spin bike- strava stats- 32.29min, 348elev, 131aw, 18.8amph, 101ahr, 117mhr, 10.19mi= 167c
    Strava app = 243c
    Zwift stats- 32.30min, 348elev, 131aw, 70arpm, 18.83amph, 10.2mi= 244c

    Total cal 778
  • LisaInArkansas
    LisaInArkansas Posts: 2,899 Member
    Meg - I was just thinking of you yesterday... wasn't it you whose husband had the legal issues, and was released a bit early? I hope I'm not causing offense, or bringing up old or bad memories. And if it wasn't you, my apologies! I was just so impressed by how that whole tough situation was handled. Welcome back! Hope the holiday season is treating you well.

    Lisa in AR

  • evie1958
    evie1958 Posts: 864 Member
    Rori and Tina, I’m so sorry for your respective losses. Gentle hugs held extra long….

    Tracy, thanks for the info about the trees and snowmen. Sadly, my Dollarama doesn’t have them, nor does Dollar Giant. Amazon has them, but they want an extraordinary amount of money for them! I will keep looking, should check out Michael’s….

    Meg, welcome back!

    Lisa, love the photos of Egg, all of them. I do miss having a cat, still don’t miss the litter box tho. Having an indoor/outdoor cat wouldn’t work here for may reasons.

    Lanette, do we have to be friends in order for me to be part of your accountability group? I think I might just be ready to do this and definitely having some to be accountable to just might keep the commitment level up! If so, please feel free to make a friend request. Thanks!

    It’s been three days for me, trying to stick to the straight and narrow and so far it’s been okay. Not 100%, but haven’t been grazing my way thru the kitchen every night so I am calling it a win.

    Congrats to those celebrating, hugs for those needing them and welcome to any new gals!

    Evelyn, Vancouver Island
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,818 Member
    exermom wrote: »
    Worked then stopped at the church for my lector book since I’m supposed to lector Sat. and the book only goes up to Nov. 26. Anyway, the gal wasn’t there so I went to Sam’s. Needed gifts for the ceramic Christmas party, got some hors duerves (or however it’s spelled) cookie dough to make for Jess to take to the party (I just don’t feel like making it from scratch). Used our Sam’s bucks so only paid $33 for 3 party gifts, 4 boxes of hors duerves, container of cookie dough, and these cocoa bomb things that Jess might like. Went for my boob squeeze today. Then stopped at the Salvation Army (natch)

    Tracey – we’re having our Christmas Eve on the 23rd, too, because Jess and Colby are flying out to Idaho on the 24th

    Barbara – I don’t mind cleaning, but for some reason, and this I can’t explain, I just procrastinate making beds. But I do it and afterwards feel good about doing it So why do I procrastinate? I don’t know. It’s not like it’s a big deal

    Ginny – I can’t help thinking that Denise has an “entitled” feeling. Also, I admit that there may not be anything to worry about, but I worry anyway (that’s a mother’s job, huh?). We know that Pete abused her cat, even tho neither of them admitted it. The SPCA told us when they seized the cat, he threw the cat to them. I do worry because someone who will abuse an animal is very likely to abuse a person. I also know that there’s nothing I can do about it. One of the signs of an abuser is that they separate their victim from their family. Is this what’s going on? I don’t know.

    Annie – my car won’t start if I don’t have the key. Would your father get very upset if only YOU had the key? Regarding your daughter, remember “you only hurt the ones you love”

    Well, we have all of the trees up (all nine). Vince has most of the lights on them. We started decorating outside this year early (like I’ve been suggesting we do for years). Now Vince is saying that he is going to try not having any commitments (MD appt. dentist appt) during Nov. and Dec. Guess he sees the wisdom in getting things done early. Also have most of the Christmas gift shopping done. Or at least I do, which is like 90% of the shopping.

    Heather – how sad for that pigeon

    Rita – a piece of cardboard works to keep the frost off? I think we have a cardboard sunshield that we don’t use (not sure why Vince insisted on keeping it) that I could probably use. I’m so not used to this frost on the windshield stuff. Really wish Hyundai would get their act together

    Tina – I’m so sorry to read about your friend. Absolutely, go to the game. He would have wanted you to. I wouldn’t be surprised at all if he was at that game, too

    Lisa – that pic of Egg and the fire looks like something out of Norman Rockwell

    Oh Annie – how I wish I could be there to give you a real big hug. But since I can’t, just take the virtual one that I’m sending. My neighbor just had in-home hospice and it seemed to work out quite well for them. Of course, everyone is different

    Joy – does your husband take uloric for his gout? Vince takes that

    Rebecca – could there be a silver lining in your gum issue – you don’t want to eat????

    They’re celebrating the birthdays at ceramics. To be honest, I really don’t care to. But I got some pigs in the blanket to take with me tonight. Vince will eat whatever is left over.

    Michele NC

    I would think so, but my mouth has acclimated and chews on the other side perfectly. I had pizza today with no problems!😂😁
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
    Wa
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 17,203 Member
    :)Meg, Glad to see you again. I hope we'll see you regularly.

    :)Machka, I liked your lists of how to say no. My most used one is "I am not available". The second most used is "That doesn't work for me".

    :) I still remember the day someone told me that I didn't have to answer my phone just because it was ringing even if the caller was someone across the street who could see me standing by the window in my kitchen.

    :)Debbie , my credit card company has taken care of several bad charges. They try to encourage me to contact the retailer, but I never do. I just let the credit card company do it and it works.

    :) My walk this morning was shortened because we slept late so I went for another walk after dark and got to enjoy lots of holiday lights that aren't lighted when I walk in the morning.

    :)Annie, my dog walking friend got help at her home from Hospice in the last months of her husband's life. She said they were wonderful.

    <3 Barbie in NW WA
  • Whidislander
    Whidislander Posts: 3,818 Member
    Rosemarie2972 wrote: »
    Lisa: A husband who can make a picture-perfect fire. Now that is a great thing!

    Margaret Turk: Your overdoer cousin in poor health reminds me that sometimes I work so hard to clean the house for Xmas that I am tired on Christmas day!

    Kylia: I love your Christmas decorations ...hope Snowman is okay!

    Heather: I love nature because it can be healing and spiritual. But the food chain idea is not my favorite
    thing! Great about 2 bunches of flowers being delivered!

    Carol: I use to cook Cornish hens regularly. I joined this de-cluttering Facebook group and realized I was not one to complain. I am cleaning out one storage room while others are cleaning out their parents homes while trying to work. I have more perspective now and am more grateful! Also mentioning that I am having a junk company come seems out of place. Many are cleaning by putting one bag a week into the trash or by loading carload on top of car load of junk. I will be doing this in the future now that I have room to move in the storage room.

    Machka: I didn't know there was an empath/apath scale. I would probably be in the middle somewhere.
    I didn't like some of Sharon Martin's ideas for saying no. I like some of the Wonder Cottage ideas better...
    ...I really appreciate you asking me, however\
    ....Thanks for thinking of me, unfortunately

    Annie: Unfortunately my husband and I learned the difference between Palliative Care and Hospice as part of our journey. Most companies offer both. We did Palliative Care for some months and this was helpful because we could still treat any dehydration or pneumonia that arose. I feared Hospice might not want to treat these issues and my Husband was still alert and very interested in current events and the family and so forth. The Palliative care nurse was an NP and able to write out most of his scripts so doctor's visits stopped. When we did decide to do hospice it was very near the end and we were able to go to an inpatient hospice. Many people do outpatient hospice and speak highly of it.

    Rebecca: An hour conversation every Monday...Wow! I don't know a lot of Moms receiving this from their adult son!

    Vickie: I hope you feel better.

    I have missed many of the episodes of All Creatures Great and Small. But I got interested and curious about the episode where Mrs Hall, played by Anna Madeley meets up with her estranged son. It is not an easy meeting. He is joining the military and war is possible. Anna Madeley does such an excellent job showing us the daily strain of having an estranged child.

    Off to do meditation. I do Zoom meditation with a group every Tuesday evening!

    Best,
    Rosemarie from Georgia

    I know, its kind of like famine and now feasting! I had called him on Saturday night because I figured he would be up late etc, but I woke him up. It was 10 pm there, and he was working days. He said he woke up to a sound from his phone which was the ringing sound Messenger makes when you are enunciating a call or video chat. He said it scared the bee Jesus out of him! Poor kid. He texted me 5 minutes later, and said he'd call on Monday. Then he did. Its really nice to get to know this adult person, being that the last time I saw him it was 5 years ago. He's grown up slot since then.💖
    Rebecca
    Whidbey
  • skuehn48
    skuehn48 Posts: 3,047 Member
    <3
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,615 Member
    Rosemarie2972 wrote: »
    Lisa: A husband who can make a picture-perfect fire. Now that is a great thing!

    Margaret Turk: Your overdoer cousin in poor health reminds me that sometimes I work so hard to clean the house for Xmas that I am tired on Christmas day!

    Kylia: I love your Christmas decorations ...hope Snowman is okay!

    Heather: I love nature because it can be healing and spiritual. But the food chain idea is not my favorite
    thing! Great about 2 bunches of flowers being delivered!

    Carol: I use to cook Cornish hens regularly. I joined this de-cluttering Facebook group and realized I was not one to complain. I am cleaning out one storage room while others are cleaning out their parents homes while trying to work. I have more perspective now and am more grateful! Also mentioning that I am having a junk company come seems out of place. Many are cleaning by putting one bag a week into the trash or by loading carload on top of car load of junk. I will be doing this in the future now that I have room to move in the storage room.

    Machka: I didn't know there was an empath/apath scale. I would probably be in the middle somewhere.
    I didn't like some of Sharon Martin's ideas for saying no. I like some of the Wonder Cottage ideas better...
    ...I really appreciate you asking me, however\
    ....Thanks for thinking of me, unfortunately

    Annie: Unfortunately my husband and I learned the difference between Palliative Care and Hospice as part of our journey. Most companies offer both. We did Palliative Care for some months and this was helpful because we could still treat any dehydration or pneumonia that arose. I feared Hospice might not want to treat these issues and my Husband was still alert and very interested in current events and the family and so forth. The Palliative care nurse was an NP and able to write out most of his scripts so doctor's visits stopped. When we did decide to do hospice it was very near the end and we were able to go to an inpatient hospice. Many people do outpatient hospice and speak highly of it.

    Rebecca: An hour conversation every Monday...Wow! I don't know a lot of Moms receiving this from their adult son!

    Vickie: I hope you feel better.

    I have missed many of the episodes of All Creatures Great and Small. But I got interested and curious about the episode where Mrs Hall, played by Anna Madeley meets up with her estranged son. It is not an easy meeting. He is joining the military and war is possible. Anna Madeley does such an excellent job showing us the daily strain of having an estranged child.

    Off to do meditation. I do Zoom meditation with a group every Tuesday evening!

    Best,
    Rosemarie from Georgia

    I just created the empath/apath scale where an apath is someone generally apathetic about other people. Perhaps someone on the autistic spectrum who is confused by emotions and things and thus disregards them (think Sheldon Cooper), or someone who has been numbed by traumatic experiences, or someone who is on a decent dose of antidepressants and doesn't feel emotion anymore. The apath would likely be a die-hard introvert too.

    That's my definition of apath. 😀

    Google may have a slightly different definition.

    And there can be scales between things everywhere. Rarely are things black and white.

    Machka in Oz

  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,615 Member
    edited November 2023
    barbiecat wrote: »
    :)Meg, Glad to see you again. I hope we'll see you regularly.

    :)Machka, I liked your lists of how to say no. My most used one is "I am not available". The second most used is "That doesn't work for me".

    :) I still remember the day someone told me that I didn't have to answer my phone just because it was ringing even if the caller was someone across the street who could see me standing by the window in my kitchen.

    :)Debbie , my credit card company has taken care of several bad charges. They try to encourage me to contact the retailer, but I never do. I just let the credit card company do it and it works.

    :) My walk this morning was shortened because we slept late so I went for another walk after dark and got to enjoy lots of holiday lights that aren't lighted when I walk in the morning.

    :)Annie, my dog walking friend got help at her home from Hospice in the last months of her husband's life. She said they were wonderful.

    <3 Barbie in NW WA

    I remember about when I realised that "Thanks for asking but I am busy every night this week." could include:
    - I am going home and walking my cat.
    - I am going home and watching a show I like.
    - I am going home to colour in my colouring book.
    - I am going home to read.
    - I am going home to sleep.
    - And many more.

    It's nobody's business what I am busy doing and it would be rude for the person to ask.

    Essentially, something is a greater priority to me than whatever you just invited me to and that is OK because I have the choice. It's also OK if I don't tell you what has greater priority because it is none of your business. I don't need to lie about it ... I'm just not going to tell you. :)

    M in Oz

  • cityjaneLondon
    cityjaneLondon Posts: 12,714 Member
    Tracey - So sorry about your troubles with Rodger. A partner's depression can really bring you down. You did great talking to him the other day, but in the end, there is a limit to what we can do for someone else. They have to do it for themselves. In their own way. Bring every resource in for your own mental health and practice the loving detachment that Rita was talking about. It's very hard, but two people getting depressed isn't going to help anyone. Big hugs. <3<3<3

    Rosemarie - You did well getting that support from the Facebook group. There is so much support online and I find podcasts and even Instagram a great support and source of wisdom. I watch a lot of decluttering, cleaning and minimalism videos. I find them a source of information, inspiration, and not always just about material things. More of a psychology course. Also I find it calming, if I am anxious.
    When I was a teenager, I was suffering terribly from the results of my childhood trauma. I used to take regular days off school so that I could sort out and tidy the mess and chaos of my bedroom. It was my way of regaining some control.
    I realise now that the videos are a more benign version of that OCD tendency of mine. Plus, they have been so helpful to me in that my house is now tidy enough for me to relax in. I value the companionship of the presenters, in a way that is like the technique of 'body doubling'. Cas of Clutterbug is particularly good at the psychology stuff. Yes, they are making money out of it, but I am not personally paying them.
    While I haven't been writing, it has been like my day off from school to tidy my bedroom!!! Except this day lasted 7 weeks! <3
    Anyway, congratulations on your decluttering work. Good job, Rosemarie!

    DDIL also went to Cyclo-cross yesterday night with Edie. Cold, in the dark, and some distance away. I'm sure it's lit on the course, but ....... wow, the energy! I am in awe.

    Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 19,042 Member
    edited November 2023
    ☘️

    Pg 69
  • Machka9
    Machka9 Posts: 25,615 Member
    kevrit wrote: »
    uw6fx4t84wic.jpeg

    1. Make a list of new things you want to do this month.
    I have a massive list of things to do. Always. I'm never bored.
    In November, however, we're organising a cycling event mid-month, and then there's another one right at the beginning of December.
    My garden needs mid-spring work.
    I need more mid-spring exercise.
    Lots of things!!

    2. Respond to a difficult situation in a different way.
    I try things ... and then I go to Google to find different things to try.

    3. Get outside and observe the changes in nature around you.
    I am outside whenever I can. Love nature! And one really nice thing about returning to Tasmania is that we're going into summer. :)

    4. Sign up to join a new course, activity, or online community.
    How about I just finish the course I started some time ago.

    5. Change your normal routine today and notice how you feel.
    My November 5th didn't exist. How's that for a changed routine!

    6. Try out a new way of being physically active.
    Today, my physical activity was standing in line and walking.

    7. Be creative. Cook, draw, write, paint, make or inspire.
    Yesterday wasn't a particularly creative day although, in the evening, I did resume work on a colouring that I had nearly finished before we left. :)

    8. Plan a new idea or activity you want to try out this year.
    I have a list!! :)
    But today, I might unpack.

    9. When you feel you can’t do something, add the word ‘yet’.
    That's why I take courses ... to learn new things and learn how to do new things. :)

    10. Be curious, learn about a new topic or an inspiring idea.
    Always!!

    11. Choose a different route and see what you notice on the way.
    I've been exploring the shops in Hobart CBD. I haven't seen them for about 6 weeks! They haven't changed much.

    12. Find out something new about someone you care about.
    I did find out something new about my husband while we were away. He told me a little bit about his childhood.

    13. Do something playful outdoors - walk, run, explore, relax.
    Whenever I can!! I'll be heading outside shortly.

    14. Find a new way to help or support a cause you care about.
    I've been busy organise cycling events.
    Human powered transportation is a cause I care about. That and exercise in general.

    15. Build on new ideas by thinking “yes, and what if…”
    I do this a lot at work, especially when I'm working on programs and making tasks easier.

    16. Look at life at someone else’s eyes and see their perspective.
    I have done this a lot more since my husband's brain injury.
    There are a lot of people in the world who have mental health issues and/or physical issues.
    A few points above mentioned causes I care about.
    Related to human powered transportation is ease of getting around. Since my husband's accident, I've become aware of how appalling the footpaths and various things around here are. They have been left to deteriorate or worse, have been designed in such a way that people with physical issues have a lot of difficulty getting around.

    17. Try a new way to practice self-care and be kind to yourself.
    Last night I slept long and deeply!!
    I needed it! This first week back at work has been stressful.
    Shortly, I am thinking of going out into the garden.

    18. Connect with someone from a different generation.
    We were hosting a cycling event on the 18th ... there were cyclists of a range of ages. :)

    19. Broaden your perspective: read a different paper, magazine, or site.
    I read many different sites ... at home to some extent, but especially at work.

    20. Make a meal using a recipe or ingredient you haven’t used before.
    Make a meal??????
    But I did add walnuts to my lunch this week for a bit of variety.

    21. Learn a new skill from a friend or share one of yours with them.
    Now?
    I'm busy!

    22. Find a new way to tell someone you appreciate them.
    I tell people "thank you" almost all the time.


    23. Set aside a time to pursue an activity your love.
    I've been colouring a bit this evening.


    24. Share with a friend something useful you learned recently.
    What have I learned recently?
    - Handheld USB fans are turning up everywhere! Or maybe I'm just looking for them now.
    - The type of vacuum I want, however, doesn't seem to exist.
    - Slipcovers for sofas were popular a year or two ago, and I had no trouble getting a couple. But not now.
    - I've learned a little bit in the SQL realm recently.

    25. Use one of your strengths in a new and creative way.
    I've been using my organisational skills a lot lately ... but much the same as usual.

    26. Try out a different radio station or new TV show.
    Got the chance to do this in Canada.

    27. Join a friend doing a hobby and find out why they love it.
    Well ... I've started beekeeping and gardening in recent years.

    28. Discover your creative side. Design a friendly greeting card.
    One day soon I might get creative.

    29. Enjoy new music today. Play, sing, dance or listen.
    I've unearthed the piano again!!

    30. Look for new reasons to be hopeful, even in tough times.
    Christmas is coming!



    Machka in Oz

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