WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR DECEMBER 2023
Options
Replies
-
Beth - So sorry your mum has caught the dreaded C. Hope she rallies soonest.
I did eat the mushroom omelette, though I probably shouldn't have. Ended up with stomach ache. I'm really bloated. I stayed downstairs with John to watch a recording of Midsomer Murders that we have only seen once before, and now I'm upstairs with my tablet, phone and Kindle. I'm hoping for better tomorrow.
I heard this woman talking on my favourite podcast, We Can Do Hard Things, and she sounded very sensible.
Another book I thought was helpful is Nedra Glover Tawwab, 'Set Boundaries, Find Peace'.
Of course, books are only any good if you read them, and put them into practice. It all takes practice, practice, practice, and it isn't easy. However, we can do hard things and our lives will be much better for it.
"He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." I talk about this in the first chapters of my new book.
While listening to the podcast, two sessions, it hit me hard how my mother was the epitome of the emotionally immature parent she was describing. She betrayed me terribly when I was a child and teenager. The result was, I eventually learned to keep a geographical distance, and only visited her for the shortest amount of time. She was not nasty to me, just self-absorbed. I did find myself loving her and spending more time with her for her last few years as she grew frailer. My lovely brother and his wife, and her mother, did the brunt of the work. I was there towards the end. Family feelings are complicated, but we must decide where we stand for our own peace and happiness. There is so much help out there. We are not alone. Asking for help shows strength.
Much love to all. I hope I can sleep tonight!
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
7 -
DrKatie - I agree with you about the obsession with diet culture. But I think you have to have got to a certain level of self-respect and trust to be able to do it that way. I have given up counting calories and weighing myself. I am much happier for it and no ill effects. My clothes mostly fit! Yes, I am a bit bigger than I was, but I know that is healthier for the older woman. I eat usually very healthily, normally virtually sugar free, very little ultra processed or junk food, and exercise every day. My weakness is a drink or two in the evening. I would like to cut that back a bit. Tonight I only had half a drink. That feels good!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx3 -
5085080
-
Here’s a pic of my little Christmas village. The cats are wrinkling my snow blanket but at least they aren’t chewing or knocking anything off….at least so far….I have 5 cats.11 -
[
Debbie ... your treats look delicious ... is the espresso blueberry fudge in the middle of the plate?
Today I received a call that my mom has Covid. Not a surprise as it's rearing it's head in our area and her facility has had multiple cases among the residents and staff. She is asymptomatic at the moment except for extreme fatigue and weakness which is what prompted their test. We're hoping it remains a mild case. I did visit with her this morning (in full PPE) to explain the situation and changes in her schedule as a result of being quarantined. She was very confused but I think she understood ... at least for today.
Beth near Buffalo
Sorry to hear your mom has covid- pray it stays asymptomatic. My former mother in law has had it three times I think- all three stayed that way.
Yes, the dark one is the espresso blueberry hazelnut fudge. Espresson cho. chips, dried blueberries and chopped hazelnuts
Simple recipe- I just make up new combinations with what we have on hand. The dried blueberries and hazelnuts we got free when I helped at the food program/food bank(also got a ton of walnuts-they had way too many and after weeks of giving them out while continuing to get more from the food bank, people were not wanting them. The lady gave me a case of them. We got dried cherries before so those went in one of the fudge- cherry, walnut, coconut. Some in white choc and others in dark choc.
2 -
Joy, one of the funnier jokes I ever read was that we know the world isn't flat because if it was, the cats would have knocked everything off already. They find pushing things off edges hard to resist, don't they?
Love your village, hope you can keep them from messing it up! :I)
Heather, Hope your crud is receding, it sounds awful! Sage advice on dealing with the adults who choose to be awful. I have tossed more than one person out of my life for exactly those reasons. I've always thought regret was one of the more useless emotions, anyway, but have genuinely improved my life by making sure that some people are no longer in it.
Regarding diet culture, it's part of the reason I don't lay poundage on my goals, just simply "be lighter." I have lost an awful lot of my time, money and emotion (but never a lot of weight) in trying to diet my way to some imagined better life, when in reality, I just wanted to feel better about myself. There are better ways.
Beth - I'm so sorry your mom has caught covid, and that her confusion is growing. Much love headed your way.
Machka - Love the raspberries!
Rita - Hope you're feeling better soon, and that the surgery is successful and recovery is quick and pain free!
Evie - Sorry you're not feeling well, too! Hope you're feeling better soon, too.
Corey's in the kitchen cooking burgers - It was a good day, but exhausting. More tomorrow on that, most likely.
Love y'all,
Lisa in AR4 -
Stats for the day-
Walk w/family- 1hr 59min 40sec, 33elev, 3.03ap, 83ahr, 93mhr, 6.22mi= 581c
Strava app= 762c
Walk home to store then gym- 15.31min, .78mi= 80c
Strava app= 96c
Lateral machine- 25min, 2-10width, 2-8resist, 1071ahr, 132mhr, 11laps, 2.56mi= 198c
Walk gym to home- 11.15min, .54mi= 65c
Strava app= 67c
Total cal 9244 -
Heather, you are absolutely right about the self-esteem component. I am learning to embrace the body I seem to have settled into and be thankful that I have maintained the 50+ lb weight loss that MFP helped me achieve. I know my profile only shows 40, but I was really about 15 lbs down from my heaviest when I started with this app.It honestly feels like I actually start to lose a little more when I quit trying so hard and just embrace the healthy choices. I am holding my weight in open hands and letting it settle where it will settle. I’d like to see another 20 or 30 fall off, but if it doesn’t, I am so much healthier than I was.
I am embracing the metabolic reboot plan my nutritionist designed for me, shooting for a loosey-goosey 80% compliance rate without actually doing any math. It does help to log my food. I probably won’t ever be able to free myself totally from the diet culture mentality, but I can try my best not to ever body shame anyone, even back-handedly. That includes refraining from judging their food. But, dang! It’s hard. My mama was/is the queen of it. My sister and I have tried to retrain her, but it is too ingrained in her 91 year old self. And it is hard when I see my daughter walking the same path I did and my niece doing that crazy MLM diet that thinks a celery stick and a half-piece of sugar-free gum is an acceptable snack. If you know, you know. Sometimes I get so tired of it.
Sorry for the vent. If y’all can’t tell, I’m on a rampage today.6 -
Beth so sorry to hear about your mom's Covid on top of the confusion. So sad.
Rita hope you feel better soon.
And healing wishes to anyone else who wants them!
Annie in Delaware
3 -
Here’s a pic of my little Christmas village. The cats are wrinkling my snow blanket but at least they aren’t chewing or knocking anything off….at least so far….I have 5 cats.
Joy - How cute - I love the greenhouse.
Thank you for sharing this photo and I hope the kitties find something else interesting besides your village.
Lanette2 -
Went to the ceramic christmas party. I tried to be good, I really did. But I don’t think I was successful. They had a game of trivia, a dirty santa, and then an auction. I must say that some of the gifts she got were not exactly your dollar store gifts. In all, it was very nice. Vince wanted to come home early because he wanted to get the decorations lit, but it’s so foggy and rainy that I don’t think he is going to. We did finish putting the popcorn on two of the trees. Now only about two more need it.
I did pick up the plate that we’re giving the gal who runs the bowling. This is the first time I tried this technique. I do think that I probably should have used a lighter color as the background. Oh well...live and learn...and die a fool
debbie – how horrible. Why do you even put up with this? Beautiful tray of sweets
Beth – so sorry to hear about your mom. Glad you got her moved near you
Michele NC
My MIL made this tree
13 -
Beth-hope Mother's covid gets no worse. It does seem to be making the rounds.
Don't think I posted yesterday-SIL housemate passed away yesterday.It was a rough two months for my SIL since the fall to this point. SIL did all she could to adhere to her friend's wishes. Evidently she had wanted her body donated to science (not desire for any funeral or burial). Unfortunately, she never executed the paper work for that. Family is arranging for cremation with remains placed by her grandparents. No funeral plans. While she did have power of attorney (financial and medical), she had no will. Don't know how they will handle the checking account-other than that she leaves nothing. My hope is that SIL can focus on her own health now-her blood pressure is out of control and her eating is horrid. I'm going to show her how to cook a couple of basics-she really doesn't know how to cook and admits she is too lazy.
No real news on foot front. Doctor says a large part of problem is I have arthritis in several places in same foot. The sesamoid bone issue she says surgery is tricky since it involves tendons and I could have a whole different series of problems from that. Going to try therapy first. Place she is sending me to uses some non-traditional approaches. She says she has patients who have gotten relief from dry needling. They evidently have some other pain manaement strategies, including physical therapy. I shall give it a try. Will call Monday to schedule but probably won't get in until after the 20th when kids leave.
Sending supportive thoughts to those with MIL and mother problems. My MIL was a bit of a ding bat and she made my son a spoiled brat (mothers can do that), but mainly she just wanted to have peace in her family, so not so bad. My mom wasn't perfect, but she did a heck of a good job raising us on her own-I don't know that I could have done so well. She taught me much.
Got started on cleaning up house well for kids (it won't be perfect). Arthritis very bad today with the rain. Weather supposed to be the same tomorrow. It seems like in the last year it is more consistently bothering me. There are much worse things-but body inflammation is not fun. Going to investigate more of an anti-inflammatory diet after kids leave.
Off to bed. Have lots to do tomorrow.
Take care all,
Ginny in Ohio8 -
cityjaneLondon wrote: »So sorry, Pip and Debbie, about the parents. Unfortunately, hope is our worst enemy. Our only choice is to decide, with strict boundaries, how much, or no, interaction we are going to have with them. No interaction is possible, though many find that hard. Emotionally immature people are never going to miraculously change. All we can do is decide what is possible for us, and stick to it. That can mean walking out if an argument starts, limiting our contact to a rare phone call, or postcard, and not engaging with tantrums. It's not you, it's them. We don't have to put up with anyone in our lives who makes us feel bad. We are adults, we can choose who we allow into our space. That goes for anyone, including husbands. We cannot be healthy if we are living in an unloving, unsupportive environment. Boundaries are the most important things to learn for mental health. Sometimes our boundary means walking away completely, sometimes it means setting strict limits. It's hard, and, like Machka says, it requires practice. We won't get it right all at once. Mistakes are part of the process. But we owe it to ourselves to keep trying.
By the way, the other person is going to be upset. Because they are self-centered they are never going to see our point of view. Never. Don't expect it. It's OK to upset them. See them as toddlers who only think of themselves. We all deserve an environment where we are respected and supported.
Good luck!!!
I spent much of the afternoon dozing. John brought me a cup of tea and it went cold. I still feel slightly nauseous, but the aches are better. A quiet evening with the TV, I think. I'm going to try to make a mushroom omelette, but it might not happen.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
Absolutely right!!
And I have used the "You have no right to speak to me like that" line with people ... and have gotten up and walked out.
When I say,
Keep doing it anyway!
It's not going to work miracles the very first time. You've got to be consistent.
I mean that you've got to decide what works for you and your mental health and keep doing it over and over.
That might mean getting up and walking out every time something flares up.
That might mean saying the same thing each time ... and then getting up and walking out.
That might mean not answering the phone if a particular person calls or not reading emails.
Whatever works.
With my difficult coworker in the place I worked before, sometimes I told her "I am not working on that right now" and got up and walked out to climb some stairs. I did that several times.
Sometimes, I put my ear buds in and turned up my music. I did that a few times.
She'd send me emails in the evening and on weekends, and I refused to read them then. It upset her because she thought I'd be ready with an answer the moment I walked into work so I would tell her that I would read my emails when I was ready to read my email, and if she continued to stand over me, I would not read my emails.
But I wouldn't let her get away with any of her usual tricks to be the centre of attention.
M in Oz4 -
Some of our trees. I'll post the rest after they are finished being decorated
The disney and Charlie Brown tree that rotates
The Christmas Vacation and M&M tree. It rotates. I made the tree skirt
The Charlie Brown tree: (I just thought it was cute)
Our Main tree. This was my first attempt at crochet (probably about 25+ years ago)
Our small tree. I made the tree skirt. Vince made the ceramic tree (it's 3 separate pieces)
I also strung all this popcorn. Remember that I'd start in May so that I can do it on my deck? Well, this is the result.
Michele NC
8 -
👽🛸
1 -
Well I got a call at dinner time that my mom fell and was being taken to the ER. Supposedly hit her head but no one saw her fall and she doesn’t know what happened. Six hours later I now know nothing is broken, her head is OK, but she has pneumonia and developing covid symptoms. They’re keeping her overnight at least, giving her antibiotics and steroids. Interestingly, as they give her oxygen assist, some of the confusion has lessened.
Beth12 -
0
-
Beth - So sorry. You have had so much to deal with this last few years. Wishing your mum comfort.
I woke up this morning at 5.30 feeling much better.
Amazed I slept so well! I actually feel hungry! I will do my exercises this morning, but stop if I feel 'off'. I only missed one day.
I feel curious about the world again. Lighter.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx6 -
(((Rori)))
Pg 191 -
Beth-good to know no breaks for Mom with fall. Do they check her oxygen levels regularly at the home? Going below 90 is dangerous. Of course, the pneumonia can explain a lot-and it isn't unusual to have with Covid. Hopfefully treatment kicks in soon.
Michelle-nice trees-lots of work!
Rori-can;t remember if I sent prayers for your friend, her family, and you, I think you made the perfect choice to cope.
Heather-don't push yourself-glad you are on the mend.
Woke up in the middle of the night with some stomach pain/upset. Wasn't sure how things may exit. Calmed down after a bit-I took a tums and was able to get back to sleep. May be part of why I was so achy yesterday-there is a stomach think going around here, Will move slowly today getting some things done, I see urologist tomorrow for standard visit-maybe that is part of my issue. Oh well-I think this is all survivable.
Think I willl stretch out on couch for a bit.
Ginny in Ohio4
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 937 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions