WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JUNE 2025
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Tina - we do a lot ourselves because of the handyman shortage.Our dad spent our whole childhood doing handyman work after work except for Thursday evenings and Sunday’s although Sunday’s he did it for his siblings, nieces or nephews, and elderly relatives. He never asked for anywhere near what he was worth and a lot of times it was just gas money to get there.
I resented it a lot growing up because he was never home but we were still very poor.He started new cupboards for my Mom in 1977 when I was 9. They were never fully finished but in 2012 he did put all the doors on.During his wake we had so many people tell us about their cupboards Dad built. 🤷♀️ my mom never said a word, but it must have bothered her.Carol - I have only attempted wallpapering a couple of times. It’s so miserable to take down!
I need to call about my air ducts getting cleaned this summer too.Debbie - I’m sure the loss of his mom will be a huge adjustment for your DH.
Allie - I wish that I could get them for that price here.Although I learned at work today that they should be limited. They are very high is sodium, one of our residents was quite ill and that was the culprit.
Lanette - I thought she had gotten an eye tattoo. 😂
Come to find out she had but a brush that had a fitting that fits in the electric drill. That’s how she managed to get so dirty.Kim - I am always fearful of losing my vision and my hearing. I have olfactory migraines, I don’t trust my smell and haven’t for years, sometimes I think it would be good to lose my smell, but I know it really wouldn’t be.
It must be such a frustrating time for you. Will you regain your full vision or do they know?Carol - Parents, I think, don’t realize how much their words hurt.My Dad when I was young said I was “so lazy I stunk”. I have never forgotten it. I don’t even know if I ever brought it up to him as an adult when we had a better relationship.
Flea - I always asked my girls as they got older to let me know if they would be home for supper or not. I found those years difficult.
I didn’t get my deep clean done, but I cleaned the BBQ, which is a task I despise and have been putting off for way too long.I also finished the wind chime for my nephew. I’m much more pleased with it this time.
I am going to Kaitlyn’s tomorrow. I can’t wait to lay my eyes on her.
She is on a stress leave from work right now.Jonah is here, he offered to get me a bowl of ice cream. I think he likes being able to offer to do things these days. I accepted a small bowl. He delivered it to me while I was relaxing on the couch. I said, “thank you sir, pleasure doing business with you.” He got offended, said what is this business deal. I love you. 🥰
On that note, I’m going to shut it down for the evening.
Tracey in Edmonton9 -
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Our sky this evening.
Tracey in Edmonton
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we saw them when we went down to take care of MIL's paperwork last year. Never rode in one. Was very strange to see.
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He got the call while we were at the grocery store this afternoon. She finally passed away. 9 hrs after being taken off oxygen and over 11 days since they stopped all food/water/meds. She was stubborn to the end.
Thankfully it is over and hopefully he can get some peace.
I am curious to see how his numbers are when they do his blood work in 6 months. Much of his sugar and blood pressure were stress induced from dealing with her.Going to go to bed- insomnia last night so extra tired. I will catch up here tomorrow.
Debbie
Napa Valley,CA9 -
Debbie - My thoughts are with you and your husband. As you have rightly said, there is a lot of healing to do. 💗
Yes, Lisa, he is very fortunate, and he knows it. He has also gained two stepchildren, one of which is a bit of a worry, and one of which is delightful. Unfortunately, he is not remotely self-sufficient financially, so, if she got fed up with him, it would be a big problem. No sign of that, thankfully.
Our heatwave hasn't arrived here just yet, though the rest of the country is baking. We are always cooler here, but this is cloud cover. John is off to cricket today. Haven't yet decided on my funny lunch. It partly depends on what happens to the temperature. I will do cold salmon salad for dinner, with some kind of tinned bean, and asparagus.
Flea - My nephew is coeliac. Yes, a great deal of trouble, with separate everything. He was a teenager when they discovered it.
Kim - Just, my every sympathy. And hopes for improvement. :-) xxxxxxxx
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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I've just tackled a job I've been putting off; cleaning the washing machine filter. I've been having to put bicarb in every wash, to avoid a mould smell, so I suspected the filter. It was pretty clean! Just a tiny corner of residue. Washed it, cleaned out the cavity,and put it back. The mould is most likely from the utility room's enclosed space. I hang dry everything in there, no tumbler dryer. Fortunately, the bicarb seems to be working. The hardest part of the job was getting down on to the floor and up again! 😅 I have hinted to John that I would appreciate him looking at the dishwasher filter. He is the washer-upper, so it is his responsibility. I don't think he has ever done it. (I had never done the washing machine either)
So, I'm feeling virtuous. I also did half an hour of exercises this morning, and blanched the asparagus for the salad. All by eight o'clock! I'm going to use flageolet beans for the salad.
I've asked my son for a list of things they can't/won't eat, and of the things they love. People have such strong likes/dislikes. I have a feeling that they don't like seafood. I know it's not until the end of August, but my mind starts playing with possibilities. I intend to have one meal out if possible, to save decision fatigue.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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There will likely be a whole range of emotions to work through … don't be surprised if it takes a year or more to sort things out.
And yes, fatigue will most likely be a large part of it.
Do a little reading on PTSD, trauma recovery.
Your husband taking over your son's previous room to sleep and watch movies does not surprise me at all and that may continue for a while.
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Sunset on the other side of the world
21 km bicycle ride.
Plus clearing long grass and weeds from the side of our house. I find clearing weeds to be therapeutic.
But it was quite cool out there and now I'm feeling a little chilled.
Given that I have spent so much of recent years feeling hot, this chilled business is kind of interesting.
And I'm down 11.1 kg (24.5 lbs) since January. 😊
Slowly but surely.
Machka in Oz
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Max is currently in Holland on a trip that the school has awarded to kids that have done a lot for the school community. Max got the 'Most Helpful' prize this year. He runs the chess club. I'm not sure I would find it much of a reward, as it was an overnight coach on Friday! Poor teachers! I'm sure the kids were fine. My son is away on a cycling trip, so DDIL and the girls are having a girly weekend. 🤩
I'm also intrigued to hear how good Max is at middle distance running. He is non-sporty, although he does like cycling and sailing, but is defiantly non-competitive. He has often abandoned cycling competitions half way through! He obviously finds running a breeze, and has recently come third and then second in a competitive field. He doesn't seem to consider it an achievement and never, ever, trains for it. I asked him how he did it, and he said he just sticks close to the people he knows are good at it. 😉 Clearly a natural.
When I think how hard Edie works at her sports, and never comes anywhere near the top, it's a bit frustrating. Her attitude is amazing though. She is small for an athlete, but doesn't let it upset her. Both the girls are in the triathlon in August.
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Slept so well last night… thought it would be bad, as I had been ice packing my shoulder all evening, but once I laid down and got all the pressures off it and stopped moving, I was out like a light. Need to lay off using my right shoulder today. If Corey wants help, I'll have to be the one on the tractor… 🤣 Orthopedist tomorrow, hopefully a shot or a brace or something for the shoulder.
Carol - I'm so glad you got your A/C back, and I know you are too! 🥵 I don't think our parents' generation understood (or perhaps cared) about how much their words would stay with us. Like Tracey, mine was from my father, who would say, "You don't have sense enough to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the bottom!" It stuck. Left me thinking I was stupid, and trying to prove I wasn't. And 60 years later, still in my memory.
Tracey - I thought it was an eye tattoo as well! Hope she's doing well when you see her.
Rosemarie - It can take as long as a year for sod to put down roots or as little as six months. Has to do with temperature, moisture, all the usual variables, as well as the type of sod.
Heather - I think I would absolutely love Max. Then again, I would love your whole family.
Flea - If you are jonesing for tamales, you might look for these in the freezer section. They have them in every filling, and are the only ones we've found in a store that taste like the ones we loved in our years in West Texas. A little spendy - $10 for a bag of 12, but seriously wonderful taste! I like the beef, and two of them is plenty for me for dinner. Corey eats six of them at a sitting.
They say all are gluten-free, the spinach is vegetarian and the black bean is vegan. Absolutely wonderful. We've tried to make tamales and definitely got the flavor right, but the construction is just an overwhelming amount of work. Needs more than just two people's handiwork! These are just as good as homemade, in our opinion. Congrats to your daughter, too, by the way! What a wonderful accomplishment.
Debbie - The greatest tragedy about your mother-in-law's death is that her only surviving son won't be grieving, but will be trying to figure out how to deal with the PTSD from how she treated him. Not exactly an honorable legacy.
My summer flowers, as promised. First, the mimosa tree in the front yard - they are already nearly done blooming for the year…
Next is the vinca in my hanging basket…
The dahlias - didn't know I'd caught a bee in flight until I looked at the pictures!
And the morning glories - purple ones are the ones I planted, and the white ones were here when we got here, and come back every year. The pinky-purple one is just an offshoot of the purple ones
Hope it is (or was) a lovely, peaceful Sunday for us all.
Love y'all!
Lisa in AR
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😀 Reading about the lengths that Flea goes to in order to avoid gluten got me thinking about how so many people have to be equally careful about nuts, shellfish, alcohol, strawberries, and various other allergens. I have to avoid avocados. I found out about this about 40 years ago and am careful to ask about them when someone else is preparing my food. People who "keep Kosher",(not mixing meat and dairy in the same meal or cooking one in a pot that's been used for the other), generally don't eat in restaurants or other people's homes. People looking to change their eating habits for health or weight loss could learn a lot from them. It's too easy for the weight loss person to make exceptions and eat whatever is easy rather than sticking to the plan they've made for themselves.
😀 The first time I decided to not eat at a potluck because of the likelihood that there would be too many foods that didn't fit my plan, I was amazed at how many people besides me didn't eat, either. There were a lot of reasons—-allergies, special eating plans, health concerns of all kinds. Along with that, there were too many people urging us to try something, or take just a bite, or being pushy in other ways.
❤️ Debbie, sending hugs to you and your husband at the death of his mother. This will be a tough time for awhile.
😀 Everything I've ever heard about making tamales tells me that's it's a long and labor intensive process. Jake's kids' Mexican grandma made them and when the kids came to us at Christmas, they brought some of Grandma Carmen's tamales. They were awesome. One place I lived had a Saturday market that included a woman who sold tamales and I always bought some.
😀 My mother told people, "Barbie had two grandmothers with big rear ends and she got both of them". Once I had an article published in a magazine and when I showed it to my mother, she said, 'You always had talents you never used." I learned a lot from my mother and some of my most admirable traits are ones that I got from her, but she was not a great cheerleader for me.
😀 In the middle of the night last night, I realized that there could be a way for me to go to Oregon, if I wanted, for son's wedding celebration. There's a way to fly to an airport near them, and a way for me to get to the airport, and not boarding the dogs was always Jake's thing, not mine. It got me away from the thoughts rolling around in my head and I'm back now to living one day at a time.
💓 Barbie in NW WA
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😀 Reading about the lengths that Flea goes to in order to avoid gluten got me thinking about how so many people have to be equally careful about nuts, shellfish, alcohol, strawberries, and various other allergens. I have to avoid avocados. I found out about this about 40 years ago and am careful to ask about them when someone else is preparing my food. People who "keep Kosher",(not mixing meat and dairy in the same meal or cooking one in a pot that's been used for the other), generally don't eat in restaurants or other people's homes. People looking to change their eating habits for health or weight loss could learn a lot from them. It's too easy for the weight loss person to make exceptions and eat whatever is easy rather than sticking to the plan they've made for themselves.
😀 The first time I decided to not eat at a potluck because of the likelihood that there would be too many foods that didn't fit my plan, I was amazed at how many people besides me didn't eat, either. There were a lot of reasons—-allergies, special eating plans, health concerns of all kinds. Along with that, there were too many people urging us to try something, or take just a bite, or being pushy in other ways.
I think the reason people are pushy at potlucks and similar sorts of things is because their identity is tied up with making food. If others reject the food, it's like they, themselves, are being rejected. They think about themselves rather than other people.
And I agree … I have to avoid certain foods because of a negative reaction to them. Although I love peanuts and nuts, they are (mostly) easy to avoid .. and interestingly people don't push those items on me. I think people are used to the idea (or are getting used to the idea) that many people have to avoid certain foods.
With the upsurge in people who are on a keto/high protein diet or a "no sugar" diet etc. etc., I have found that fewer people push food.
This is great for me because I can choose to eat the raw fruit and veggies at a morning tea … rather than the sausage rolls and party-sized meat pies … and no one makes a comment.
I also feel a lot more comfortable ordering vegetarian meals.
BTW - gluten-free desserts are fantastic! On the occasions we eat out, I'll usually choose the gluten-free dessert choice.
Machka in Oz
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Morning ladies
Tom and Elena are well,I text him every week to check on Alfie,going to a friend's a couple houses over and am picking Alfie up to visit with them..
I forgave him a long time ago..I just don't forget..
Im going to take a little nap before going out for Brunch.
Ta ta for now.
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Good thinking Barbie. Think of it as the dogs having a holiday!
When I lived in Mexico City, on my Gulbenkian scholarship, I used to get up early in the morning a few times a week to get to the park to do indigenous dancing. On my way home, coming out of the Metro, there was a woman cooking tamales in the street, and the smell was irresistible. I always bought one for breakfast. I liked a little meat in the middle.
I'm wondering if anyone stocks those frozen tamales here. :-)
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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No, they don't. Boo!
Heather UK xxxxxxxx
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Yeah! The reason why we bought our house here. Our deli, butcher, cafe, hairdressers, general store, plant shop etc etc.
Heather, proudly Hovarian. UK.
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😎
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10191019
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Did a Firm DVD. The one I was planning to do didn’t work in my DVDplayer. That’s what I get for buying them at a thrift store….lol Then I did the warrior Yoga DVD. Boy, do I need more yoga
Lisa – good thoughts for your son that the separation goes well
Okie – I would guess, with the land under the power lines (we just have to keep it mowed, as long as it’s green – even green weeds –I’m happy) we have about 1-1/2 acres
Went to NY Hibachi last night. I don’t know what it was, but something didn’t agree with me. I was up all night. I even had a cup of tea along with some saltines hoping that that would settle my stomach. One of them must have worked because I was able to eat an egg this morning.
Debbie – My sympathies to you and yours
M – great weight loss
I’m going to go outside to see if it’s dry enough to start mowing.
Michele NC
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"So I'm heading back on the no added sugar, no white carbs for a week or two and will see what happens. It's pretty much the way I was eating last summer and it was super easy.
Lanette 😎"
That is the best way to eat all the time. You remove sugar and white carbs and eat everything else, you automatically get rid of all junk food (what I call them) and your body heals by itself. Great idea. I'm trying that as well, but with DH cooking, it makes it hard.
Thought for Today:
I'm such a good navigator, a self-driving car once asked me for directions.
RVRita in Roswell 👽️
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RE: Bringing my own bread and gluten-free treats
Gluten free bread is not very good, generally. So rather than use the substitutes, I just avoid bread. It has taken me years to get to this point especially since my husband can't imagine a life without bread, so he was forever buying new brands and styles for me to try so I wouldn't feel left out. It's expensive (the Franz GF sourdough is literally more than $1 a slice, and the last few times we tried it, the middle was moldy, even thought the use by date was more than a month out.) The only gf bread I eat from the store is gf waffles. They are frozen, so don't go bad, and heat up pretty well in the toaster.
As far as GF treats to share with the family. GF brownies and cornbread are delicious, and most members of my family have decided they prefer cauliflower crust for their pizza. It is pretty darn good. Meli's monster cookie mix is gluten free and is my 18-year old's favorite cookies, but a box costs around $8, and it makes 10 cookies. Monster cookies, yes, but still.
In general, however, I just try to avoid anything that could have gluten in it and don't usually attempt to find a substitute. I would just rather do without. I did love bread, which was why it took me a long time to decide to just forget it. Now that I've avoided all breads (in the loaf sense) I don't really miss it anymore, which, like I said, my husband finds inconceivable.
As to bringing bread to a place to use, that generally wouldn't work anyway. (Even if I did have a bread to bring.) Most places fry burgers and such on the same grill that they toast the buns on, so the grill is usually contaminated. And I make it more difficult for myself because I'm not eating beef anymore and only occasionally eating chicken or a little pork. (The tamales, for example, were pork.)
There are a couple very good gluten free restaurants in town, and two of them pride themselves on their gluten free options. The first is pretty high-end, so we go there only now and then. The other is a breakfast/brunch/lunch place and all of their breaded fried foods (fish, chicken, onion rings, chicken fried steak) are gf, so the fries are safe too. They also make their own gf banana bread with homemade strawberry jam, which is super. I also have good luck with Vietnamese and Thai food. Chinese food, not so much. Mexican food is generally safe, too. One place we go to has delicious shrimp options. I had ceviche on date night Friday.
This got way too long. Sorry. I used to feel sorry for myself, and my husband still does, but it is really fine. I will often make the family a dinner they like, and then I'll have veggies, fruit, and cheese, and I think I've finally convinced them that I don't feel bad about it. It has rather become one of my favorite at-home meals. But hubby is a little old-fashioned, and a meal isn't a meal to him if it doesn't contain a meat protein and some bread. He doesn't like fish, although he's agreed to eat it once a week because it's good for him.
Debbie — sorry about your mil, on so many levels. I didn't realize what "death hospice" meant until you described it when you announced her death. That is pretty brutal and must have been so hard for your husband. I agree with Machka, that it could take a very long time to recover from all of this. And he now has no family left, correct? I am finding that one of the hardest parts of having lost my parents and sister. I have one estranged niece left, although we are being polite in our occasional texts to each other. No cousins, to speak of, on either side. It feels like being a sole survivor, and that is not a great feeling.
Take care everyone. Much love.
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
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Lisa — thanks for the tip. It looks like one of the Safeways in the town next to us has them, so I might need to check them out!
Flea
Willamette Valley, OR
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I could use some BIG HUGS today please... I'm losing a dear online friend this week. She lives in Alberta Canada and she has what they called LongQT. You'll have to look it up, please, because it's very rare and she's "died" twice. (actually many more times than that) Anyway, do to many circumstances, she's made the horrible (not IMO, just horrible that she has to) decision that she will be using the MAID (medical assistance in death) which will take place on July 3rd. (IF she doesn't go into cardiac arrest before that... she's already had her implanted defib turned off)
I've known Sherri for almost 10 years, through the scrapbooking community and she is the most amazing mom and fighter and scrapbooker. I met Sherri, in person, when she and her daughter, Alexis, had to come to Rochester, MN for Alexis to have surgery for the same type of implant. Well, that's just "down the road" (about 2 hours away! HA!) but I wasn't going to miss that for the world! I would have driven twice that far to meet an online friend. (so keep that in your hat, ladies, if you ever get close to MN, USA!)
I've sent my recording to my sweetie and Alexis helped her send a short audio back so I've saved that. (forever, to the best of my ability) And I took a picture of the BD card I was planning to send "two weeks" from now 😭 and sent it to Alexis so Sherri could "have it". She thought it was "beautiful". I typed out my message to the kids and Sherri and sent that out so they can read it when they have a minute. They're spending as much time as they can together. I'm checking the FB group every couple hours to see if anything changes... and that's that.Here's my girl and Alexis and Austin. If you have any prayers to offer... Thanks
Love and Blessings
Carla, in MN14 -
June not a great month as wildfires coming from Canada and northern border of Minnesota. Dealing with asthma and overheating. As temps been muggy and high. Today is cooler so can stay this way for awhile.
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with "Comfort care" hospice, they are still giving food/drinks if the person will take them and also some of the medications. With "death hospice" they stop all of it and let the person just pass away they do leave oxygen on. They removed that when there is no longer eye response or pain response
At least that is how I understand and that is what they did with MIL
Death hospice usually lasts just a few days. The nurse told dh that the longest she had seen anyone last on it was 14 days. MIL lasted 11.
He has two first cousins left but they live in Osaka, Japan(MIL was Okinawan).His mom and his cousins had a falling out, over money of course so they wanted nothing to do with her after that.
They don't speak English but he can use the translator and just let them know she has passed .
He has a second cousin in New York- Has met her once, 50 yrs ago but that is it.His dad had a brother and a sister. Brother never married/no kids so no cousins there. Sister had two kids, both passed before she did so dh took care of final arrangements for all of them. They are all buried in the cemetery near his MIL's(now son's place).MIL and dh's brother will also be buried there.
On my dad's side- there were 10 kids. My aunt is the last and she says that is very hard. She has lost all her siblings and two of her three kids. She does have a LOT of nephews and nieces though.
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Carla ~ Prayers for your friend and her family! They look like very sweet people and I am sorry they are going through this scary time.
Debbie ~ I just don't know what to say about your MnL's passing. I hope that you and your husband will get through this time supporting each other. It has been a long hard journey for all of you.
Flea ~ Thanks for the information about your gluten free diet. When did you finally realize that that was the cause of your celiac disease?
Not much to say except I am thankful for our COOL house!
Carol in GA
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🙃😱 Today I got out the mower for the first time since I used the battery powered leaf blower to clean out the blades. It didn't start. Oh, no, I said to myself then realized that I was so excited to try it out that I had forgotten to insert the battery. After inserting the battery, it still didn't start, so I used the only troubleshooting skill I have and removed the battery and put it back in. It worked great and the yard looks better. Annie started barking at the mower even before the motor started so I put her in the house.
😍 Debbie, my mother and I had a difficult relationship and I was attentive to her for her last years and was holding her hand when she died. Jake and I moved into her house immediately which was her desire. I was careful and respectful as I sorted and discarded her possessions (it took us ten years to complete sorting everything we put into storage). Even so I had recurring dreams of her being in the house with me and finding fault with what I'd done with her possessions. Your husband is likely to have a difficult time for awhile, maybe a very long while.
💓 Carla, so sorry for you and your friend and her family.
🌞 Barbie in warm NW WA
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I have really been mindful of not eating a lot of sugar or sodium in my diet. I notice my skin is clearer, my gums happier, and my joints less achy.
There is one day when I was off the chart, but otherwise under!😂
Rebecca Whidbey Wa
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Praying for you and your friend, Carla. I know what Long QT is. One of my meds is counter indicated with it, so l had to have my heart tested before I started it and monthly for three months after starting it, but all good. It is very scary to even think about, and I'm so sorry she's been suffering.
Carol, I was diagnosed about ten years ago. I had been having multiple loose stools for years, but thought that was normal. I had been racing triathlon, half marathons, and 15 mile trail runs, and suddenly, one morning, I could barely get out of bed. My bones and joints hurt so much. I would go out for a run and not be able to make it even a block. Before the celiac diagnosis, we thought rheumatoid arthritis, then scleroderma, and finally confirmed celiac, which my rheumatologist told me was the best possible outcome. I was on RA meds for two years while getting my new diet to kick in, but I've been off them for eight years now, so controlled just with diet. If I get glutened, my bones hurt first, then inflammation, and then gastrointestinal distress. It usually takes a few days to recover. I haven't run significantly since. I really miss running, especially, but now with bone mets and osteopenia, probably not a good idea. On my walks sometimes, I still break out into a run for a block or two, and it feels so good, but I am mindful of falling.
Debbie, my mom had a DNR when she was on hospice, but she still was able to eat and drink, and I think she still took vitamins, maybe? She took something. She had written that she didn't even want oxygen, if it came to that. She was awake and eating on a Wednesday. Non responsive on Thursday, but the nurses still tried to get her to eat breakfast, but it was impossible. She passed on that following Saturday morning, just two days later, without having regained consciousness, so much easier.
I am really feeling for your DH.
Flea
Willamette Valley OR
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