Why all the negativity???Where is the Motivation?

stillnot2late

I don't think she means people disagreeing with her ideas. I really enjoy coming on the board and I like to comment on them too, and I have had another A hole torn in many times. Just a few days ago I agreed with someone because he answered a direct question. He came back at me with "so what's your point". Hey dude, I agree with you! So really, there are some people who really just don't know how to talk to folks. I've been on MFP since 2010 (new account here) so I have seen it all. I agreed with one OP and about 6 people jumped on me for agreeing. So there are those who cannot accept people with different ideas from them. But the good outweighs the bad, there is boo-koo good information on here from people, and you have to just scroll on down till you find it. If you quit the forum nobody will even know or miss you. Enjoy them the best way you can.

stillnot2late

I lurked for the first 2 weeks on this site and you know what I saw?

1) people wanting validation no matter how dangerous their idea was.
2) people saying do whatever you want if you think it's a good idea
3) people calmly explaining why said corse of action is unsafe, ineffective, or just plain silly
4) people who have been here forever putting concise information in blunt terms to convey their knowledge in the most impact full way possible.
5) people who complain that they can't do it because they are somehow special and defy natural law.

I chose to friend those in category 3&4 because they had the best gif's!

good call

Thomasm198

I'm still puzzled about the "silent treatment" :huh:

SkinnyFatAlbert

Just in case you weren't aware of this feature, when you go to the message boards section, there is a button called search and you can type in a keyword/phrase (ex: rude/mean/butthurt) and you can see the threads that have already been created on the topic. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/992167-some-of-you-are-just-plain-rude?hl=rude

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1033717-rant-why-is-everyone-so-mean?hl=mean+people&page=3#posts-15856061

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/976527-when-people-offer-advice-stop-being-rude-and-degrading?hl=rude

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/920791-mfp-not-helping-or-showing-support-just-being-rude?hl=rude&page=15#posts-13981890

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/900646-being-rude-is-not-giving-support?hl=rude&page=3#posts-13625845

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/855369-seeing-a-lot-of-rude-comments-about-1200-cal?hl=rude#posts-12874305

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819763-rude-mean-people-on-here?hl=rude&page=16#posts-12297324

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/799446-rudeness-on-forums?hl=rude&page=2#posts-11939451

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/774191-what-s-up-with-all-the-rude-sarcastic-people-here?hl=rude&page=4#posts-11507301

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819763-rude-mean-people-on-here?hl=mean+people

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1092526-bullies-meanies-and-police-oh-my?hl=bully

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/789026-mean-people?hl=mean+people&page=2#posts-11759423

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/883246-mean-people-waste-the-internet?hl=mean+people#posts-13325677

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1088600-dear-mean-people-of-mfp?hl=mean+people

Message boards are for being social. Searching is not social. Cope.

cmcollins001

Honestly? People get called "bullies" for calling bogus diet trends bogus diet trends. It gets freaking old. "Oh no, how dare you say Fat Flush Water/Detox #112/My 21 Day Water Fast is a load of crap? BULLY!"

I do not know what prompted your particular rant, and I honestly don't care enough to browse through your posting history or try and read your mind. I've just quit taking these "everyone's sooo mean" threads seriously because as a whole they are posted when someone cannot tell the difference between calling an idea stupid and calling a person stupid.

First whether it be the person on simply the idea... it should never be called stupid. That is what I am talking about. Why must it be "stupid " because you don't agree with it?

Because no matter how many times people want to say 2+2=10, it doesn't, and therefore, the math is "stupid." This example is no different than those stupid fad diets that are nothing but myths and scams.

If it was just and "idea," that would be one thing, but, when people act on that idea and start doing essentially harmful fat diets, there are "bullies" who would rather tell someone the fad diet is stupid then to give people false results.

Body Wraps, flushes, targeting body fat, cleanses, and all that kind of stuff is only a temporary fix to a long term problem, and when those people regain the weight, it makes them feel like they can't do it.

Also, when someone posts a question in an open public forum, they should be willing to accept whatever differing opinions and personalities and responses they will get. They can scan through the responses, figure out which ones work for them and ignore the rest. It's simple. If you can't take a differing opinion, ask your question on your wall, or in a private group of like minded people.

Contrarian

I'm still puzzled about the "silent treatment" :huh:

You shouldn't be. I'm giving it to you RIGHT NOW!

neandermagnon

arguing others into submission is normal primate behaviour. Humans do this verbally, while other primates beat their chests, make a lot of noise and stamp on things. Humans are inclined to do that too, if the argument escalates sufficiently.

_HeartsOnFire_

Blunt and honest doesn't mean it's negative, bullying or calling someone stupid.

Calling fad diets stupid is dead on because they are just that...stupid. I am NOT calling the people who do them stupid.

Here's the thing...it's all perception. Written words on a board don't always come across the way they were intended and based on YOUR perception is how you'll perceive it. So if you think because someone called an idea stupid, that is you creating that in your mind.

I gotta say, these threads getting mad at people for being blunt and honest are getting a little tiresome. You also say you aren't a negative person, but here's a negative post about people that you perceive as bullies or mean or whatever. There's also a blog option on MFP that also can reach people, so maybe that's a better place to vent your frustrations from all the meanies. I'm sure I'm going to be perceived as mean after this...

Forums have to be read with an open mind, realizing that it's all in your perception. It's like the telephone game, when it first starts out it's one sentence but by the time it gets to the next person they heard something different.

The other thing is...no one is here to sugar coat anything for anyone or coddle anyone. I will agree that name calling is bad. But again, if someone is honest, blunt and to the point it doesn't make them rude, bullies, or mean.

TR0berts

I'm still puzzled about the "silent treatment" :huh:

You shouldn't be. I'm giving it to you RIGHT NOW!

You're doing it wrong.

osothefinn

Because no matter how many times people want to say 2+2=10, it doesn't, and therefore, the math is "stupid." This example is no different than those stupid fad diets that are nothing but myths and scams.

If it was just and "idea," that would be one thing, but, when people act on that idea and start doing essentially harmful fat diets, there are "bullies" who would rather tell someone the fad diet is stupid then to give people false results.

Body Wraps, flushes, targeting body fat, cleanses, and all that kind of stuff is only a temporary fix to a long term problem, and when those people regain the weight, it makes them feel like they can't do it.

Also, when someone posts a question in an open public forum, they should be willing to accept whatever differing opinions and personalities and responses they will get. They can scan through the responses, figure out which ones work for them and ignore the rest. It's simple. If you can't take a differing opinion, ask your question on your wall, or in a private group of like minded people.

I like you.

kwill4274

I'm fairly new to this, just started looking at all the postings over the last week and I haven't noticed any negativity. Maybe it's the sites you go to or the people you are friending. Everything I'm finding is positive and encouraging.:flowerforyou:

terrinae89

You tell em girl! I don't often get on the message boards due to the negativity, flirting or putting people down. This is not FB but people seem to treat MFP like it. You keep pushing and ignore anyone who says otherwise!

Blessings on your journey!

Morninglory81

Blunt and honest doesn't mean it's negative, bullying or calling someone stupid.

Calling fad diets stupid is dead on because they are just that...stupid. I am NOT calling the people who do them stupid.

Here's the thing...it's all perception. Written words on a board don't always come across the way they were intended and based on YOUR perception is how you'll perceive it. So if you think because someone called an idea stupid, that is you creating that in your mind.

I gotta say, these threads getting mad at people for being blunt and honest are getting a little tiresome. You also say you aren't a negative person, but here's a negative post about people that you perceive as bullies or mean or whatever. There's also a blog option on MFP that also can reach people, so maybe that's a better place to vent your frustrations from all the meanies. I'm sure I'm going to be perceived as mean after this...

Forums have to be read with an open mind, realizing that it's all in your perception. It's like the telephone game, when it first starts out it's one sentence but by the time it gets to the next person they heard something different.

The other thing is...no one is here to sugar coat anything for anyone or coddle anyone. I will agree that name calling is bad. But again, if someone is honest, blunt and to the point it doesn't make them rude, bullies, or mean.

If you sugarcoat it ill just get fat!

Edit ok how do I bold things?
:happy:

MackLuster77

Is staring a big problem on the internet?

Thomasm198

I'm still puzzled about the "silent treatment" :huh:

You shouldn't be. I'm giving it to you RIGHT NOW!

PikaKnight

doorki

I'm still puzzled about the "silent treatment" :huh:

You shouldn't be. I'm giving it to you RIGHT NOW!

You're doing it wrong.

Fitfully_me

the silent treatment,

Ok...I'm probably cyber bullying you..but...how does one give someone the silent treament on an internet forum?

I'm just imagining somebody not posting on a topic and saying "That'll show em'" I don't know why but it makes me laugh.

ETA: Apparently I'm not the only inquiring mind that wants to know.

*silent treatments you*






wait

DON'T YOU REALIZE HOW LONG I HAVE BEEN IGNORING YOU??! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO, SPELL IT OUT?

I can't take it anymore... I actually laughed out loud at this. :laugh:
I've never been any good at the whole silent treatment thing :grumble:

JewelsinBigD

I get so much support on my wall. Lots and lots of support. My friends are the greatest.

As for the forums, there's a lot of derp. The people who call the derp what it is are the unsung heroes of MFP, even if they tick people off and get called "meanies."

Without debate, there would be no critical thinking. I LOVE debate. I love critical thinking.

Agreed - I like being able to be honest on here - I cant say a lot of "truths" in the real world- but here I can and hopefully people appreciate a certain level of honesty.

_HeartsOnFire_

If you sugarcoat it ill just get fat!

Edit ok how do I bold things?

[ b ] [ /b ] (no spaces) it's like how you post an image or quote things...just with a lower case b.

firstsip

arguing others into submission is normal primate behaviour. Humans do this verbally, while other primates beat their chests, make a lot of noise and stamp on things. Humans are inclined to do that too, if the argument escalates sufficiently.

Bonobos actually do this by having sex with each other.

missigus

Amen sister. I agree, lately there is a lot of sarcasm, and general snottiness. Just because someone asks for tips on eating, because they are new, or struggling to fix an issue, or disagree with a tactic, it doesn't give the replying person the right to be condescending in their answer. If your sick of newbie questions or repetitive ones, or even common sense ones, don't answer it or let the next "expert" handle it hopefully with some diplomacy. I think the "fun" boards and the cavalier attitude there tends to bleed into the other boards where people are seriously looking for help, not a snappy, "well Duh", sort of reply. I never ask a question on the main boards anymore and rely on my friends on my list, or a group I've joined, or the search engine on here for those very reasons.

jofjltncb6

So when someone disagrees with you, they are being negative? :huh:

Ok :laugh:

ETA: Good luck. :flowerforyou:

Wow! Talk about rude!!! And so negative!!!



Why don't you just kick a puppy next time!?!? It would be less rude than this venom you're spewing all over this otherwise positive, motivating, and uplifting thread.

:explode:

WHOA! Calm down JeffCBT. Your negativity is really insulting me when I read it, and I feel bullied just reading this. Your words are like daggers in my vertebrae. Not between them but literally piercing the bone through. That's what your words are like to me, and they're hurtful.

LEAVE JEFF ALOOOONNNEEEEEE!!!!!! It's people like you who come in our nice-rice threads and *kitten* all over the rainbow, turning it brown and raining acid diarrhoea upon our happy heads! UUGGHH!!!

^this...

...hesitantly...

...I think.

(Honestly, I'm just agreeing mostly out of fear.)

No_Finish_Line

I want the "bullies" to stick around. This place is far more entertaining because of it.

unfortunately thats really all the forum is good for, entertainment.

Melissa22G

Just in case you weren't aware of this feature, when you go to the message boards section, there is a button called search and you can type in a keyword/phrase (ex: rude/mean/butthurt) and you can see the threads that have already been created on the topic. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/992167-some-of-you-are-just-plain-rude?hl=rude

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1033717-rant-why-is-everyone-so-mean?hl=mean+people&page=3#posts-15856061

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/976527-when-people-offer-advice-stop-being-rude-and-degrading?hl=rude

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/920791-mfp-not-helping-or-showing-support-just-being-rude?hl=rude&page=15#posts-13981890

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/900646-being-rude-is-not-giving-support?hl=rude&page=3#posts-13625845

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/855369-seeing-a-lot-of-rude-comments-about-1200-cal?hl=rude#posts-12874305

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819763-rude-mean-people-on-here?hl=rude&page=16#posts-12297324

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/799446-rudeness-on-forums?hl=rude&page=2#posts-11939451

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/774191-what-s-up-with-all-the-rude-sarcastic-people-here?hl=rude&page=4#posts-11507301

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819763-rude-mean-people-on-here?hl=mean+people

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1092526-bullies-meanies-and-police-oh-my?hl=bully

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/789026-mean-people?hl=mean+people&page=2#posts-11759423

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/883246-mean-people-waste-the-internet?hl=mean+people#posts-13325677

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1088600-dear-mean-people-of-mfp?hl=mean+people

:flowerforyou:




+5

cmcollins001

I've got a serious question. if you are thinking that an internet forum is not for you, then why post that you are thinking of staying away from the boards? Seems a bit dramatic and unnecessary, in my opinion.

Also, I recommend that if these forums are too much for you to handle that 1) it may be you needing to not focus so much on the supposed tone of said disagreement/post and 2) don't go on other forums, like for gaming. They make MFP look so tame.

And finally...disagreeing =/= negativity.


For anyone wondering why this particular 'mean person thread' was created:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1099829-learn-what-it-means-to-eat-clean?page=3

It's not the disagreeing... I'm all for constructive criticism. There are nice ways of doing it... I'm talking about the ones that want to just say how stupid you or your idea or your opinion is. The ones that want to post a negative mean comment on everything that is put out there. There are comments that are meant to be helpful in disagreement but there are also people just set on making people feel stupid... I was ready for negative comments on this as well. Like " well if you don't like it then get off MFP" things along that nature. I'm just not a negative person and I was just raised to be nice to others and not to ever be rude or disrespectful. Everyone was not raised that way sadly.

There are people like this everywhere (and I mean actual jerks, not just people who disagree with you on a message board).

You will not change them.

Learn to ignore them and let it go.

Well I got some positive on page one then all the sarcasm from then on :ohwell: ...... can't blame a girl for trying... I knew I was fighting a losing battle and you can't argue with arrogance. I'm out.

Calling a fad diet stupid is bad, but calling people having a differing opinion arrogant is ok?

Can someone please tell me where the rule book is so I can read up on the rules?

jofjltncb6

I don't think she means people disagreeing with her ideas. I really enjoy coming on the board and I like to comment on them too, and I have had another A hole torn in many times. Just a few days ago I agreed with someone because he answered a direct question. He came back at me with "so what's your point". Hey dude, I agree with you! So really, there are some people who really just don't know how to talk to folks. I've been on MFP since 2010 (new account here) so I have seen it all. I agreed with one OP and about 6 people jumped on me for agreeing. So there are those who cannot accept people with different ideas from them. But the good outweighs the bad, there is boo-koo good information on here from people, and you have to just scroll on down till you find it. If you quit the forum nobody will even know or miss you. Enjoy them the best way you can.

I'm curious as to what happened to your original MFP account...

1. Ragequit?
2. Flounce?
3. Nondescript deactivation?
4. Other?

jpolinisse

Amen sister. I agree, lately there is a lot of sarcasm, and general snottiness. Just because someone asks for tips on eating, because they are new, or struggling to fix an issue, or disagree with a tactic, it doesn't give the replying person the right to be condescending in their answer. If your sick of newbie questions or repetitive ones, or even common sense ones, don't answer it or let the next "expert" handle it hopefully with some diplomacy. I think the "fun" boards and the cavalier attitude there tends to bleed into the other boards where people are seriously looking for help, not a snappy, "well Duh", sort of reply. I never ask a question on the main boards anymore and rely on my friends on my list, or a group I've joined, or the search engine on here for those very reasons.

Agreed.

redheaddee

Bu-bye.

KMMRN

I absolutely agree with you. There are ways of expressing negative opinions that are tactful. Many of the MFP participants know how to do this. Not all of them practice it.