My Pointless Soapbox

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  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
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    As for what brought you to this revelation in the first place, I to some extent agree with the other group you were in. Until you've spent 7 hours on an airplane with a huge man beside you that overflows into your seat you really can't appreciate that someone of that size should have been made to pay for the 1.5 seats he was taking up. I can add that he also smelled bad. The fact that you've allowed yourself to get too big to fit into average sized transportation doesn't mean the rest of the world has to make allowances for you. I'll admit I'm one of those meanies.

    I agree 100%... and it wasn't that long ago that I was close to needing to pay for 2 seats on an airplane. If a person is so large that they can not fit into a single "spot", then they should pay for the extra room. It isn't fair to the person next to them who is losing space that THEY paid for.

    ^^This.

    I ride the Park and Ride, daily, and I've grown quite frustrated with big people sitting partially in MY seat and resting their big arms on me. I understand that it's disheartening to realize that you require two seats due to your size, but it is a simple truth. I don't know what the answer is beyond mortifying people with width requirements, though?

    But yeah...as for this post, I see both sides of the issue. People do need help and support, and we should be respectful of that. However, patience runs thin when you see the same posts over and over. It still doesn't mean that people should be rude to them. It's much easier to request that they search MFP prior to posting, which isn't the first thing we all think of in the beginning and honestly, I think people post because they want specific attention to what they believe is a specific situation, but don't realize how common it really is. *Speaking from experience.*
  • bekahlou75
    bekahlou75 Posts: 304 Member
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    I just Googled what TLDR was.....learn something new every day.
  • AntiSocialyte
    AntiSocialyte Posts: 28 Member
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    I agree with the sentiment of your post, but I'm really here to say that I <3 you for the use of the word "fracking." :happy: :happy: :happy:
  • sloth3toes
    sloth3toes Posts: 2,212 Member
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    ...but even if you can't win, it doesn't mean it's not worth trying, right?

    That's not true. There is no point in my son's lacrosse team trying. Because they can't win.

    :noway:


    See? Now that was rude.

    Funny, though. Mostly because it doesn't affect me. Yes, I'll admit that.

    Rude, in what way? Perhaps it's rude to post off topic.... but I see nothing rude about a factual statement, regarding my son's lacrosse team. There is no point in them trying, because they can't win.
  • thickerella
    thickerella Posts: 154 Member
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    I agree with the sentiment of your post, but I'm really here to say that I <3 you for the use of the word "fracking." :happy: :happy: :happy:

    Thanks! Your tattoo is awesome!

    ....I'd be tempted to press it to see if it turns you on though.
  • AntiSocialyte
    AntiSocialyte Posts: 28 Member
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    I agree with the sentiment of your post, but I'm really here to say that I <3 you for the use of the word "fracking." :happy: :happy: :happy:

    Thanks! Your tattoo is awesome!

    ....I'd be tempted to press it to see if it turns you on though.

    LOL, you wouldn't be the first one.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    So . . . scale of 1 to 10 . . . how close are we to resolving this issue?
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
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    So . . . scale of 1 to 10 . . . how close are we to resolving this issue?
    - 10
  • F00LofaT00K
    F00LofaT00K Posts: 688 Member
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    The thing that bothers me when I see fat-bashing is that people wouldn't DARE say it to somebody in person... they hide behind the veil of internet-anonymity and say whatever they want. There is no disputing that being severely overweight, or even mildly overweight comes with health concerns, but there is a right and wrong way to approach somebody you care about and talk to them about their weight. I don't think any stranger has any right to bash somebody they don't know because of their weight. It's none of their business.
  • ndj1979
    ndj1979 Posts: 29,136 Member
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    cliff notes:

    stop fat bashing..

    the internet is mean ..

    and if you call someone out for starvation diet you are being mean and inconsiderate...

    and in...for the meanies..

    Your cliff notes are inaccurate. In my original post AND in several follow up posts I encouraged people to offer guidance to those who are making unhealthy choices. Calling someone out is not the same thing as calling someone names, the latter of which is what I am protesting.

    I stand corrected starvation diet critique is OK as long as it is done in a tasteful, positive, encouraging, non-mean, non-abusive, and in no way causes anyone to feel but hurt....
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    So . . . scale of 1 to 10 . . . how close are we to resolving this issue?
    - 10

    Awesome, so we're right about where we always are and I didn't miss anything. :drinker:
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,137 Member
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    cliff notes:

    stop fat bashing..

    the internet is mean ..

    and if you call someone out for starvation diet you are being mean and inconsiderate...

    and in...for the meanies..

    Your cliff notes are inaccurate. In my original post AND in several follow up posts I encouraged people to offer guidance to those who are making unhealthy choices. Calling someone out is not the same thing as calling someone names, the latter of which is what I am protesting.

    I stand corrected starvation diet critique is OK as long as it is done in a tasteful, positive, encouraging, non-mean, non-abusive, and in no way causes anyone to feel but hurt....
    tumblr_mwmm53blFL1sj3oxho1_250.jpg
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    Honestly, I have tried to refute your argument a few times now but keep stumbling. I think that you are, for the most part, correct. I have even tried to "soften my tone" when offering people advice on the forums and avoiding being overly critical. Except in the cases of someone who is promoting an unsafe method to another or telling another that X is the only way to do Y.


    However, you have to understand the frustration that comes along with helping people on MFP. A small group of people here try to promote ways of eating that are backed by science and are constantly trying to educate those who are ignorant of nutrition. Because they are going against the "common wisdom" of dieting, they get a lot of unwarranted angst from people who call them rude, haters, and various other nasty names. Also, the same threads are posted over and over again, multiple times per day, with few users actually paying attention to the thread three lines down and instead posting an identical thread above it. And this is despite several excellent stickied threads that would have answered their questions.

    It is frustrating, to say the least, to have to keep repeating the same information and refuting the same information over and over again to a user base who, largely, does not appreciate it or pass on what they have learned.

    but nobody is asking you to repeat yourselves over and over again, I presume you reply to topics out of CHOICE. If you find it frustrating, why bother?

    Because -I- actually care about people and want to see them achieve their weight management and fitness goals. That is why -I- spend several hours per day answering questions, reading research to advance my knowledge, and reaching out to people privately to steer them in a healthy direction.

    Because without people like me, this entire website would be devoted to the evils of sugar, carbs, fats and how all women should do ultra high rep weight lifting or pilates to lengthen and tone their muscles. People with EDs would run rampant, and MFP would essentially turn into the opium den of nutrition sites.

    That is why I try to get past my frustration.

    What have you done to help someone today?
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!
  • LiminalAscendance
    LiminalAscendance Posts: 489 Member
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    OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!

    She's that girl from "Facts of Life?" Blair?
  • WhiteRabbit1313
    WhiteRabbit1313 Posts: 1,091 Member
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    OP, totally off the subject (because I really don't care), but every time I see your profile pic it makes me think of an actress from one of those old TV shows..... who do you look like dammit! It's driving me crazy!

    She's that girl from "Facts of Life?" Blair?

    Or Topanga from "Boy Meets World"?
  • rb16fitness
    rb16fitness Posts: 236 Member
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    hey!!!
    I've got a pointless soapbox tooo :tongue: but when I feel like breaking it out, I do this instead....
    tumblr_mr0zx5J8zM1saa8d8o1_500.gif

    Turn round! :grumble:
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
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    Honestly, I used to be nicer online than I am in real life, trying to take into consideration that tone does not come across well. Guess what I've realized. A much larger problem is that a large percentage of the population is afflicted by one of the following:

    1) Little to no reading comprehension skill
    2) No interest in doing anything except skimming posts
    3) No interest in hearing anything contrary to their own opinion

    Long-winded P.C./sensitive posts? Forget it - won't get through to most.

    Keep it short, sweet, and blunt - you'll reach more people.
  • bethannien
    bethannien Posts: 556 Member
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    I personally haven't asked for advice on the site but I have contributed to a few discussions and I'd just like to throw in my two cents. 99.9% of the time, perceived rudeness is just honesty without any delicious sugar coating. Sure, you'll occasionally get something genuinely unkind, but it's rare. A while back, a woman wanted to do a salt water fast for like 3 months or something insane. She got about 1 supportive reply and about 50 replies begging her to do some research or posters who did the research for her. And she got butt hurt, started ranting at all the negativity and it spiraled into taco and cat gifs before it got locked. Most of the time, people want to be coddled/told how special they are. Biologically, we're all basically the same and I don't resent good advice from people who know of what they speak.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    The thing that bothers me when I see fat-bashing is that people wouldn't DARE say it to somebody in person... they hide behind the veil of internet-anonymity and say whatever they want. There is no disputing that being severely overweight, or even mildly overweight comes with health concerns, but there is a right and wrong way to approach somebody you care about and talk to them about their weight. I don't think any stranger has any right to bash somebody they don't know because of their weight. It's none of their business.
    How do you know what people would or would not DARE to do in person? Are there things you do online that you wouldn't DARE do in person? That says more about you than anyone else. I act and speak the same, no matter what communication medium I'm using.

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