I feel sorry for the new year resolutioners..

I_Will_End_You

I would highly recommend checking out a thread where the OP is actually receptive and willing to take the advice they are asking for. It is a very different situation than when someone posts a thread asking for opinions on a ludicrous diet or practice and gets upset when the responses are rightfully less than positive. But, again, it's hard to know this when you are not active in the community or offering any of the "support" you lament no one provides.

This.

LiftAllThePizzas

Everyone on here seem to be expecting them all to fail! Surely you should cut out your judgmental horrible personalities and support anyone who joins here, anyone who succeeds or fails. When they came here their ambition was to succeed afterall!

Understanding that they have a higher failure rate does not mean anyone is wishing for them to fail or "not supporting" them.

ThriceBlessed

I think people should get a supportive attitude from others if they are trying... period. Regardless if they started December 1st, January 1st, or June 11th.

Yes, a lot of people will fail. Not just those who start on January 1st either. Statistically, most obese people who lose weight will gain it back, but that doesn't mean that as an obese person I should just not even try, rather, I should do my best to beat the odds, to one of that small percentage who succeed.

Most New Years resolutions fail, whether they are weight loss related or something else entirely, does that mean resolving to change things in the coming year is a bad thing? No. Does that mean that people shouldn't try to make 2014 better than 2013? No. I think we should always strive to do better tomorrow than we did today, even if today was awesome!

I am not waiting for New Years to start, but I do have some specific goals for the New Year that are different than my goals in 2013.

I have waited for certain events to start losing weight. For example my family took in a friend who became homeless and his 11 year old daughter for a year. He had horrible eating habits... and that with the added stress resulted in me going back to old unhealthy habits. For the last 3 months he was with us, I felt pretty much disgusted with it and mentally was ready to change, but I also knew that my chances of success with someone putting pizza, ice cream, cookies, cupcakes, fatty cuts of beef, hamburgers, mexican food, etc. etc. etc. in my face all the time was pretty slim, and likely to be discouraging. So all I really did in that last 3 months was increase the amount of veggies I was eating, and do a little walking. I determined in my mind to begin in earnest the day after he moved out. And I did, and since that time I've lost 47 pounds, and have no intention of stopping.

All that to say, if someone feels they will have more success after the holidays are done, who am I to argue? I don't know their situation? I don't know their emotional state or the level of their commitment once they start.

I would rather be supportive of 10 people, even if 9 end up failing, than to be rude and unsupportive of them and be part of the reason they failed.

ChickenLittle1121

I would highly recommend checking out a thread where the OP is actually receptive and willing to take the advice they are asking for. It is a very different situation than when someone posts a thread asking for opinions on a ludicrous diet or practice and gets upset when the responses are rightfully less than positive. But, again, it's hard to know this when you are not active in the community or offering any of the "support" you lament no one provides.

And I understand that. I was just making a more general statement of not assuming failure before they've even started. And, it might just be me, but I sense a bit of hostility in that last line there. If it is just me, my apologies, but I was just offering my two cents and at no point did I say that "no one" provides support. I've barely just started to find success with my own fitness, and finally feel able to contribute to this community. I don't feel like my post count should be a strike against me.

Holly_Roman_Empire

No one here says to anybody, "Oh, I see you started January 1, you're SOOOOO gonna fail."

brower47

Is this the new variation on the 'why is everyone so mean?' thread?

Tiernan1212

This is just a general statement, and not a judgement call about anyone:

Perhaps fewer Resolutioners would quit if more of them were getting support from people who are already on their way to achieving their fitness goals. When you're just starting out, this *kitten* is tough. Coming here and seeing so much negativity and lack of faith in their success will probably be more detrimental to their journey than helpful.

It's not the responsibility of this forum to ensure all newbies succeed 100% of the time, but being more encouraging -- and less sure they won't stick around -- might help.

I would highly recommend checking out a thread where the OP is actually receptive and willing to take the advice they are asking for. It is a very different situation than when someone posts a thread asking for opinions on a ludicrous diet or practice and gets upset when the responses are rightfully less than positive. But, again, it's hard to know this when you are not active in the community or offering any of the "support" you lament no one provides.

Totally agree with you.

I was a member of the site for a while before I ventured into the forums. When I first poked around, I knew nothing of IIFYM, TDEE or anything like that. What I "knew" was a lot of out-dated mythology (breakfast is the most important meal of the day! 1200 cals is totally maintanable! don't eat back exercise cals!). At first I fell into the "wow, people are mean" camp. But then I actually did a lot of reading and a lot of searching, and a lot of paying attention. I realized people were not being mean, they were being factual, and helping others out with their knowledge (most of which has come from their success). When I see someone that has lost over 100lbs, I tend to think they might know what they're talking about.
A lot of new members (again, not all) do not take the time to listen to the advice and support being given. They come in with a plan and an idea that they want to do, and anyone that debates or disputes that plan and idea is instantly labeled as being mean or unsupportive.
It's a two way street, if you ask a question you need to be prepared for all answres, whether they are the answers you want or not, and you need to be open to new ideas in order to succeed.


Edited 'cause I can't spell

captaincharisma24

Its interesting. Our minds decide when we can make a change. The will power to change a person's body shouldn't be measured on a particular time. Society puts these ridiculous thoughts in our heads. My new years resolution is for everyone to shut the hell up about what they are going to do, keep to themselves and if they feel the need to make a change then do it without making an *kitten* out of themselves

Akimajuktuq

I find planning is best. I never start anything unless it's a Monday or the first of the month. I will be restarting with a new account in the new year. I'm still going now. Still dieting, still losing, but definitely start fresh at new year. If they try and failed, at least they tried.

See, there is the problem. Viewing what one is doing as "dieting" and needing a specific start and end time. How about choosing to eat differently (healthily).... wait for it..... for forever? No start date, no end date, just a sustainable enjoyable healthy eating plan that works for life. That's what I'm doing and it's the only thing that finally makes sense. Losing weight effortlessly is so much easier than worrying about every stupid thing like "did I drink enough water", "I need to eat a 10 cup salad so I won't struggle with hunger", "I'm hungry but it's 8pm so I don't dare eat", "oh no the scale isn't saying I lost five pounds this week-I'm plateauing!" et al. I have no end date for my lifestyle and if I stop I will get sick/fat once again. No thanks.

Mr_Knight

How about choosing to eat differently (healthily).... wait for it..... for forever?

That *is* dieting.

nancybuss

I haven't read the negative posts, I usually don't. Don't need that crap. Yes, its true, a very high percentage will fail because they are not Committed to a lifestyle change, but a "Its January I should" Those that mean it Can and WILL Succeed.

I wish I could help every person with this struggle! Obesity is so bad in America, there is more to life than bad food.

dtimedwards

While I am sire that you think that your 9 posts here qualifies you to take the moral high ground

Post-count is a measure of morality... gotta love the internets!

CompressedCarbon

While I am sire that you think that your 9 posts here qualifies you to take the moral high ground, some of us actually dedicate dozens of hours per week helping people around here.

So unless you're willing to educate yourself and share that knowledge with others on a regular basis, you've no room to judge others.

This is the truth. I don't post much but I've read the forums for a long time and there are the same core group of people who consistently share their knowledge and information with grace and intelligence. And less often, with impatience or "meanness." Way too often, the OP will argue with the science, find excuses for why it will not work for them, or generally moan about the information shared. It's not a surprise that those trying to help get worn down and frustrated by the excuse-giving contingent. But if the OP listens and shows a willingness to learn, there is celebration and support all the way around. And 99% of the time, those who share are right and the OP returns to thank all the "mean" people.

It's kind of an awesome thing to watch happening.

And to the OP getting psyched to start a Jan 1 life change, why don't you continue to make that your public proclamation while sneakily starting to make those changes now? You can trick yourself into making progress even before you start, and really, who doesn't like to see that forward progress?

TheSlorax

I would highly recommend checking out a thread where the OP is actually receptive and willing to take the advice they are asking for. It is a very different situation than when someone posts a thread asking for opinions on a ludicrous diet or practice and gets upset when the responses are rightfully less than positive. But, again, it's hard to know this when you are not active in the community or offering any of the "support" you lament no one provides.

And I understand that. I was just making a more general statement of not assuming failure before they've even started. And, it might just be me, but I sense a bit of hostility in that last line there. If it is just me, my apologies, but I was just offering my two cents and at no point did I say that "no one" provides support. I've barely just started to find success with my own fitness, and finally feel able to contribute to this community. I don't feel like my post count should be a strike against me.

You're right, it shouldn't be assumed that they will automatically fail, but if you see the responses in this thread the general consensus has been that the January newbies will be supported in their efforts, but statistics show that most of them will not follow through in their goals. That is even with the aforementioned support. As for the last line, I speak from experience when I say that generally those who complain about MFP being unsupportive or even "mean" are new posters with a very low post count. Those who have more experience in the community sing a completely different tune.

LiftAllThePizzas

This thread has proved my point exactly.
Only a handful of decent people here.
I think on January 1st I will add as many resoulutioners as possible and support them, encourage them and try to keep them going.
Not going to keep wasting my time on shallow narrow minded people.

You can start or fail any day of the year. If they choose to wait and start at a later date. Good for them. If they wake up one day or are half way through a slice of triple chocolate cake and start right that second. Good for them. Either way, they should be treat the same.

Dear OP, look at your post history and count how many of your posts are "supporting other people." (answer: 0%)

Many of the people you're criticizing have spent countless hours of their own time helping other people and have posted hundreds or thousands of supportive posts.

Perhaps you should at least make an attempt to set an example before attacking everyone who has been doing it for months or years.

redheaddee

Judgemental post is judgemental.

Critical OP is ironic.

GTFO.

ETA: I have now read your profile. Explains a lot. Grow up honey. You are NOT a princess.

ndj1979

ahhh yess MFP is mean ...this one has been hashed out only about a million times...

the reason people complain about new year resolutions is that those folks would be a lot better off if they made long term sustainable changes that lead to weight loss and better health. Instead everyone does a one month crash diet and then abandons it...

Mr_Knight

Dear OP, look at your post history and count how many of your posts are "supporting other people." (answer: 0%)

Wow - fried like chicken dinner.

Perhaps you should at least make an attempt to set an example before attacking everyone who has been doing it for months or years.

Right to the heart of the matter.

Thomasm198

This thread has proved my point exactly.
Only a handful of decent people here.
I think on January 1st I will add as many resoulutioners as possible and support them, encourage them and try to keep them going.
Not going to keep wasting my time on shallow narrow minded people.

You can start or fail any day of the year. If they choose to wait and start at a later date. Good for them. If they wake up one day or are half way through a slice of triple chocolate cake and start right that second. Good for them. Either way, they should be treat the same.

Akimajuktuq

How about choosing to eat differently (healthily).... wait for it..... for forever?

That *is* dieting.

No, I am not "dieting" but I have changed my "diet". Permanently. The word relies on context as you well know.