Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!

em435

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but being lied to about Santa was just one factor of many that made for a ****ty childhood though.

and you can't assume that the people who raised you are representative of all religious people. I know a lot of religious people who do a LOT to make the world a better place.

I agree, I have known, and am friends with, many very nice christians.

My point was that a lot of people were saying that they didn't experience anything negative from it, but some people do. I did, in a rather dramatic way, and I have friends who did, but in a "why did you lie to me, I'm never going to trust you again" way.

The issue I have with this is telling children it is true, even when people know it is false. I just don't get it, I don't understand lying about something like that. I don't see how it makes anything more fun. My kids love the holiday, and look forward to it, and get excited by the gifts and mass quantities of cookies... but they know that santa is not real.

Seriously? I don't mean to sound like I'm belittling people's feelings but this sounds like there were issues that ran much deeper in your friends' relationships with their parents.
No one likes being lied to but on the list of things that would make me feel betrayed, Santa is so very far down...

I never had the Santa experience though but it sure looked like a lot of fun for my friends who didn't yet know he wasn't real. I'd definitely do it for my kids or something even cooler like Dinovember (https://medium.com/thoughts-on-creativity/6f4cb1886d41) because why the hell not!

FindingMyPerfection

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You need to under stand

If a child is innocent enough to feel hurt because those closest to them deceived them they need to grow up.

If they believe but are not hurt when they find the truth than they are innocent and so should not have to grow up.

We just need a time machine and all will be fine.

Where a dr who when you need him?


Wizard there he is^^^

Did you start drinking since you last posted?

The thread rolled nothing has to make sense anymore.:drinker: let's just have some fun now.:happy:

BrainyBurro

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*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."

If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

i bet you're lots of fun at parties. :drinker:

rml_16

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*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."

If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

*shrug*

Maybe it's "only fun" for you under those circumstances. The fun is IN the believing -- believing in something incomprehensible and magical. What fun is it knowing it isn't real?

emirror

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but being lied to about Santa was just one factor of many that made for a ****ty childhood though.

and you can't assume that the people who raised you are representative of all religious people. I know a lot of religious people who do a LOT to make the world a better place.

I agree, I have known, and am friends with, many very nice christians.

My point was that a lot of people were saying that they didn't experience anything negative from it, but some people do. I did, in a rather dramatic way, and I have friends who did, but in a "why did you lie to me, I'm never going to trust you again" way.

The issue I have with this is telling children it is true, even when people know it is false. I just don't get it, I don't understand lying about something like that. I don't see how it makes anything more fun. My kids love the holiday, and look forward to it, and get excited by the gifts and mass quantities of cookies... but they know that santa is not real.

I am going to take a stab at this, but I am assuming there was a LOT more to being upset about finding out Santa wasn't real than just finding out Santa wasn't real.

If your life and relationships are damaged or destroyed over that, you have much bigger issues going on.

There was more to it; it was in that post you didn't read.

I read it. I get it.

My point is you keep acting like the only issue here is kids "being lied to about Santa." That isn't the thing that made you upset about finding out he wasn't real. And it probably isn't the thing that made your friends so upset, either.

So letting your children believe in Santa on its own is NOT going to cause that kind of heartache unless they are incredibly sheltered and more sensitive than any other child who ever lived.

Actually, it WAS the thing that made my friends upset. They specifically said that they were crushed because their parents lied to them, and everyone perpetuated the lie, and let them believe it.

Wow. What was wrong with your friends that they were CRUSHED to find out Santa wasn't real? They must have a very hard time dealing with politics, relationships and every other major aspect of life.

Lying about some mythical gift giver did not destroy you or your friends. Just stop.

They were children, that is what was "wrong" with them. I was a child, and that is what was "wrong" with me. A lot of people have moments of realizing the world is something that they thought it wasn't, and that happened to be the point for me and some few others. Don't tell me what I experienced is invalid just because you didn't experience the same thing.

emirror

show previous quotes

but being lied to about Santa was just one factor of many that made for a ****ty childhood though.

and you can't assume that the people who raised you are representative of all religious people. I know a lot of religious people who do a LOT to make the world a better place.

I agree, I have known, and am friends with, many very nice christians.

My point was that a lot of people were saying that they didn't experience anything negative from it, but some people do. I did, in a rather dramatic way, and I have friends who did, but in a "why did you lie to me, I'm never going to trust you again" way.

The issue I have with this is telling children it is true, even when people know it is false. I just don't get it, I don't understand lying about something like that. I don't see how it makes anything more fun. My kids love the holiday, and look forward to it, and get excited by the gifts and mass quantities of cookies... but they know that santa is not real.

I am going to take a stab at this, but I am assuming there was a LOT more to being upset about finding out Santa wasn't real than just finding out Santa wasn't real.

If your life and relationships are damaged or destroyed over that, you have much bigger issues going on.

There was more to it; it was in that post you didn't read.

I read it. I get it.

My point is you keep acting like the only issue here is kids "being lied to about Santa." That isn't the thing that made you upset about finding out he wasn't real. And it probably isn't the thing that made your friends so upset, either.

So letting your children believe in Santa on its own is NOT going to cause that kind of heartache unless they are incredibly sheltered and more sensitive than any other child who ever lived.

Actually, it WAS the thing that made my friends upset. They specifically said that they were crushed because their parents lied to them, and everyone perpetuated the lie, and let them believe it.

Then your friends need to experience the world a little bit more. If that's enough to make them THAT upset, they have serious issues.

*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

You need to under stand

If a child is innocent enough to feel hurt because those closest to them deceived them they need to grow up.

If they believe but are not hurt when they find the truth than they are innocent and so should not have to grow up.

We just need a time machine and all will be fine.

Where a dr who when you need him?


Wizard there he is^^^

LOL! Right?

brower47

So when your kids play pretend, do you shout at them, "STOP LYING YOU LITTLE LIARS!"

MinMin97

show previous quotes

*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."

If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

*shrug*

Maybe it's "only fun" for you under those circumstances. The fun is IN the believing -- believing in something incomprehensible and magical. What fun is it knowing it isn't real?

My children have fun all day everyday pretending. They know it's pretend.

rml_16

show previous quotes

*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."

If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

*shrug*

Maybe it's "only fun" for you under those circumstances. The fun is IN the believing -- believing in something incomprehensible and magical. What fun is it knowing it isn't real?

My children have fun all day everyday pretending. They know it's pretend.

Do they? I bet they believe in a lot of the things you think they "know" are pretend.

I think the real issue here is how many people grow up and forget what it was like to be children.

emirror

show previous quotes

*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."

If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

i bet you're lots of fun at parties. :drinker:

I am, actually. We have bonfires, and I spin poi, everyone gets sloshed, and no one talks about Santa. :laugh:

WendyTerry420

show previous quotes

*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."

If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

*shrug*

Maybe it's "only fun" for you under those circumstances. The fun is IN the believing -- believing in something incomprehensible and magical. What fun is it knowing it isn't real?

It was fun to play with Barbies and pretend she was dating Ken and going to college, etc. I never thought there was a *real* Barbie though. People would have thought me insane and in need of counseling if I did. :smokin:

WendyTerry420

So when your kids play pretend, do you shout at them, "STOP LYING YOU LITTLE LIARS!"

Dafuq? :laugh:

FindingMyPerfection

So when your kids play pretend, do you shout at them, "STOP LYING YOU LITTLE LIARS!"

There is a difference, one is a make believe they know is not real, the other is a make believe they ate told is truth. It is in telling them that this make believe is truth that creates the lie, not the make believe its self.

BrainyBurro

show previous quotes

*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."

If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

i bet you're lots of fun at parties. :drinker:

I am, actually. We have bonfires, and I spin poi, everyone gets sloshed, and no one talks about Santa. :laugh:

what about when your kids blow out the candles on their birthday cakes? do you tell them, "try to blow out all of your candles in one breath, but nothing will happen."?

emirror

I think the real problem here is that no one wants to be told that they are lying to their children.

BrainyBurro

So when your kids play pretend, do you shout at them, "STOP LYING YOU LITTLE LIARS!"

stealing...

...in case i ever have kids and they are cursed with good imaginations.

FindingMyPerfection

I think the real problem here is that no one wants to be told that they are lying to their children.

It's not a lie if the intentions are good.

emirror

show previous quotes

I am, actually. We have bonfires, and I spin poi, everyone gets sloshed, and no one talks about Santa. :laugh:

what about when your kids blow out the candles on their birthday cakes? do you tell them, "try to blow out all of your candles in one breath, but nothing will happen."?

Blowing out candles is a game (as in, see if you can get them in one breath!!! Yay, you did it!). We don't really talk about making wishes, because they can't conceptualize how a wish could be made true. We talk about things we want, or want to do, and we talk about making plans to make those things happen... but we don't sit around and wish for things.

emirror

show previous quotes

I think the real problem here is that no one wants to be told that they are lying to their children.

It's not a lie if the intentions are good.

*snicker*

waltcote

I wish I could eat pizza all day and not get fat again!!!! :huh:

_KitKat_

I have read this WHOLE thread, I couldn't believe how nasty some people got.

So I decided as all these adults understand and argue about what Santa does to a child, I should ask a child. I asked my 13 yr old daughter "Did believing in Santa effect you for good or bad, and did you feel betrayed by anyone?" Here is her response:

"I think Santa is a great TRADITION (this is her word). I did not feel betrayed or lied too, it was fun and I think it is a part of growing up...I knew almost 90% the truth before you finally told me. It made Christmas time fun and magical. I think if I didn't believe when I was little it would have made the holidays less fun and a little weird at school. Over all it was just fun."

I then asked her" what is Christmas about?" and she said "Family, food, helping and fun" Not once did she mention presents even though I know it popped in her head. I then asked "So you don't feel I lied to you?" Her response was " NO, it was fun and just the way it is, The lights and Santa and the stories made Christmas seem like anything was possible. I plan to do Santa when I have kids when I am an adult, it was fun and I don't want to miss the chance to be Santa."

So take it for what you want but that is one 13 yr old girls impression of Santa.

MinMin97

show previous quotes

I think the real problem here is that no one wants to be told that they are lying to their children.

It's not a lie if the intentions are good.

What?! Confused. What do you think is a lie?

Bry_Fitness70

"I'm so mad at my parents for making me believe in Santa and giving me presents" - said no sane person, ever.

emirror

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I think the real problem here is that no one wants to be told that they are lying to their children.

It's not a lie if the intentions are good.

What?! Confused. What do you think is a lie?

She was being a little sarcastic, I think.

emirror

"I'm so mad at my parents for making me believe in Santa and giving me presents" - said no sane person, ever.

That's just rude. There are sane people who didn't like being lied to about Santa, regardless of the presents.

BrainyBurro

I have read this WHOLE thread, I couldn't believe how nasty some people got.

So I decided as all these adults understand and argue about what Santa does to a child, I should ask a child. I asked my 13 yr old daughter "Did believing in Santa effect you for good or bad, and did you feel betrayed by anyone?" Here is her response:

"I think Santa is a great TRADITION (this is her word). I did not feel betrayed or lied too, it was fun and I think it is a part of growing up...I knew almost 90% the truth before you finally told me. It made Christmas time fun and magical. I think if I didn't believe when I was little it would have made the holidays less fun and a little weird at school. Over all it was just fun."

I then asked her" what is Christmas about?" and she said "Family, food, helping and fun" Not once did she mention presents even though I know it popped in her head. I then asked "So you don't feel I lied to you?" Her response was " NO, it was fun and just the way it is, The lights and Santa and the stories made Christmas seem like anything was possible. I plan to do Santa when I have kids when I am an adult, it was fun and I don't want to miss the chance to be Santa."

So take it for what you want but that is one 13 yr old girls impression of Santa.

you're clearly an unfit parent!

*calling child services on you as i type this post*

em435

I have read this WHOLE thread, I couldn't believe how nasty some people got.

So I decided as all these adults understand and argue about what Santa does to a child, I should ask a child. I asked my 13 yr old daughter "Did believing in Santa effect you for good or bad, and did you feel betrayed by anyone?" Here is her response:

"I think Santa is a great TRADITION (this is her word). I did not feel betrayed or lied too, it was fun and I think it is a part of growing up...I knew almost 90% the truth before you finally told me. It made Christmas time fun and magical. I think if I didn't believe when I was little it would have made the holidays less fun and a little weird at school. Over all it was just fun."

I then asked her" what is Christmas about?" and she said "Family, food, helping and fun" Not once did she mention presents even though I know it popped in her head. I then asked "So you don't feel I lied to you?" Her response was " NO, it was fun and just the way it is, The lights and Santa and the stories made Christmas seem like anything was possible. I plan to do Santa when I have kids when I am an adult, it was fun and I don't want to miss the chance to be Santa."

So take it for what you want but that is one 13 yr old girls impression of Santa.

:flowerforyou:
/thread

Myhaloslipped

As a kid, the thought of some jolly, fat stranger breaking into our house through the chimney to "eat cookies and leave presents" scared the crap out of me. I always had trouble sleeping on Christmas Eve because I was so frightened.

MinMin97

show previous quotes

*sighs* Of course they needed to experience the world more; THEY WERE CHILDREN WHEN THEY FIGURED IT OUT. Children get upset over being lied to, sometimes it makes them feel foolish to have believed it. SMH

I have lived in four different cities in three different states. I have made friends from literally all over the world. I have never, ever met a single person (until this thread) who was upset about finding out Santa wasn't real or felt that he or she had been "lied to."


If someone's psyche is that fragile, there is more going on.

It's a game of pretend. It's make believe. It's silly and fun. It isn't a lie.

It's only pretend and make believe if every knows it is pretend and make believe. This is told to children as truth. Not as a "let's play pretend" setup.

*shrug*

Maybe it's "only fun" for you under those circumstances. The fun is IN the believing -- believing in something incomprehensible and magical. What fun is it knowing it isn't real?

My children have fun all day everyday pretending. They know it's pretend.

Do they? I bet they believe in a lot of the things you think they "know" are pretend.

I think the real issue here is how many people grow up and forget what it was like to be children.

I see your point. True, true. And they say some funny things, making me realize they really believe something. However, when they ask us questions, which they do non-stop, we give them the truth. Of course, they always ask about holidays as they come up.

tabatharose60

Parenting, Politics, and Religion should probably never be talked about on the internet, especially in these forums. It's terrible how some people are acting.