Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!

PRMinx

Who gives a f*@k???? Each to their own. Do what you want to do.

QFT

Stop attacking people for their beliefs, and we won't feel the need to attack back in defense of our choices!

LOL. What the pro-santa people have been saying is that Santa is good for the imagination and that it's fun fairytale and to lighten up a bit.

What you have been saying is this:

1. Parents who let their kids believe in Santa are liars and inherently dishonest.
2. Children who celebrate with Santa are bound to be selfish, spoiled brats who only want gifts.

And I'm not even going to get into your marriage insinuation which was insulting, rude and completely uncalled for.

What sounds more like an attack to you?

rml_16

The OP can, obviously, do what she wants. I just find this whole debate very sad. Equating letting kids believe in something like Santa to lynig makes me sad.

When I was little, I really and truly believed there was a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow and that unicorns existed. Sometimes, I still believe those things. I see Santa as something similar. Is it really a lie?

And then I see so many adults with no sense of humor or adventure or ... I don't know. Something is lacking. And I didn't know until recent years that there were families who celebrated Christmas and didn't allow Santa in their homes, but now I do and it explains a lot.

Obviously, it isn't about Santa specifically, since non-Christians for the most part wouldn't have used that. Half my family is Jewish, so I really do know this. It's the idea of stomping on that innocent wonder and belief that bothers me and it makes me want to cry.

So do you also teach your kids that Superheros are real? That there really is a Spiderman? Why or why not?

I just don't understand why it's so important to other people that some of us choose NOT to perpetuate the Santa Myth.

I don't teach one way or the other. I let my daughter (and my parents let me) believe as we would. If she believes Spiderman is real, who am I to burst her bubble?

No one ever did that to me and I'm grateful they didn't. To this day, I recognize that the universe is vast and there are many things that my tiny mind cannot and will not ever comprehend. For all we know, there is an alternate universe somewhere that these things do exist. Or maybe there is a veil in this world where they exist and we can't see them.

Or maybe not. Does it matter? As long as the kid isn't doing anything harmful due to such a belief, why take that away?

Lifelink

*reads more of thread*

mariabraceyrobinson

So my oldest is 3 and asked me about Santa and Christmas. I told him the basic crap that everyone spews and I hate myself for it! Wh does he need to believe in Santa just to have it crushed later in life? Why set them up for disappointment later in life. Am I a bad mom because I don't want to perpetuate this myth?

Thoughts please.

I never told my daughter that lie. I don't know about your religious background, but I'm a Christain. Christmas is about the birth of the Christ and nothing more. That was what my daughter was taught. I didn't do the Easter bunny or Tooth Fairy either, by the way.

WendyTerry420

I'm not trying to be judgmental. The Santa Myth is one of my biggest pet peeves. In this, I am the "Annoying Atheist." Sorry.

Really? Why don't you go re-read some of your posts when you step down off your ivory tower.

Do atheists live in ivory towers?

bookworm_847

I enjoy it. I like seeing my 4 year old get excited about the magic of Christmas. She's got the rest of her life to grow up and realize how much life can suck. I like letting my kid be a kid.

Exactly. When I was a kid, I had classmates who went around saying that their parents told them that Santa wasn't real. Even though I was beginning to have my suspicions at that time (my mom and Santa had the same handwriting... what are the odds?), I felt a little sad for them that they weren't getting to have the fun and experience the magic like the other kids.

I'm not saying that Santa is necessary in order to enjoy Christmas, but to me, that was part of the fun of Christmas as a kid. I knew what it was really about, but Santa just made it more special.

WendyTerry420

This is exactly what I am talking about. To me, Christmas is meaningless if the only thing that matters is getting presents.

So just call it Thanksgiving and be done.

Why? Why not let Christmas be about love?

WendyTerry420

I avoided that one.. Never had to tell my kids one way or the other about Santa being real or a lie.

my oldest son came to me at 3yrs old, after preschool one day (in December) and says something like..."You know that big guy in red that brings presents?" ME: "Santa??" Son:"Ya, Santa.... well, don't believe it mom, it's a lie."

I asked why he thought Santa wasn't real and he said something about it being too silly and ridiculous then asked why so many kids fall for it.. I made sure he knew that it was the parents job to let their child know about Santa's reality when the parent thought the child was ready and to NOT EVER tell any of the kids it's a lie, that would make the kid and their mom very sad.
My middle son cried and got mad when I said something about the tooth fairy giving him money for his first truth.."Mom,, why would you lie to me like that?? You know the Tooth Fairy isn't real!!!"

my poor youngest son was just a normal kid who thought those characters might be real and was confused for a few years.

(I was like my older two and never ever believed in any of the Holiday Characters either. No wonder I never had friends growing up)

That's awesome!

delicious_cocktail

OP has amazing lips. I would believe whatever lies come out of those.

The vitriol is somewhat unappealing, however.

Sassyiam63

As a child, I thought Christmas was magical. As an adult, I was jealous of Santa getting the credit for my hard labor. LOL. My friend had an idea. She would allow one present to be labeled from Santa. The rest were from mom/dad, etc. If you would like to incorporate sunday school lessons, could teach about baby Jesus.

rml_16

This is exactly what I am talking about. To me, Christmas is meaningless if the only thing that matters is getting presents.

So just call it Thanksgiving and be done.

Why? Why not let Christmas be about love?

Thanksgiving is about love.

On Thanksgiving, you get together with the people you love, eat and are thankful for your life.

Without the traditions involved in Christmas (and it doesn't just have to be about presents, but that's part of the fun -- even if they're all homemade and cheap), then it's just Thanksgiving in December.

doorki

I'm not trying to be judgmental. The Santa Myth is one of my biggest pet peeves. In this, I am the "Annoying Atheist." Sorry.

Really? Why don't you go re-read some of your posts when you step down off your ivory tower.

Do atheists live in ivory towers?

I'm an atheist. Don't lump your behavior with the rest of us lol. You have been nothing but aggressive and judgmental from the start. This has nothing to do with atheism and everything to do with your behavior.

MinMin97

What this really boils down to is how you teach your children about life. Is it ok to lie to anyone, no, absolutely not. But lets face it, we all do it to some degree every day. If you say you don't, then that is a lie in itself.

I disagree. There are lots of situations where it's not only okay to lie, but you could argue that it's the ethical thing to do.

You're living in Germany in the 1940s and there's a Jewish family living in your basement, in secret. The Gestapo knock on your door and ask you if you know of any Jews that are hiding anywhere. So you're going to tell them the truth....? Or you're going to claim that the ethical thing to do is tell the truth....? No, the ethical thing to do in this situation is to lie.

And there are a lot of comparatively minor situations where lying to save someone's feelings has no long term consequences, but telling the truth would hurt their feelings and do a lot more damage than the little white lie.

There are of course many, many situations where it's wrong to lie and they're certainly more common than situations where it's better to lie. But my point is that your statement that it's absolutely not okay to lie, is incorrect.

If you are God, then you can decide what is okay and what is not okay. For all of us.

Seriously....? No-one's allowed to make ethical decisions except God? how do you function in your day to day life then? You're not allowed to decide for yourself in any situation what the right or wrong thing to do is? What about if you're that person in 1940s Germany? You stand there while the Gestapo are on the doorstep praying for God to give you a sign as to whether it's okay to lie to them? Or what?? How do you function like that?

(And actually my statement, "If you are God, then you can decide what is okay and what is not okay. For all of us", sounds super strong, i know that....however it was stated without any sarcasm or snark on my part...just as a matter-of-fact.)
We make ethical decisions all the time (as in the case of whether it is okay to tell your child that Santa is real). But it's not up to you do decide for me whether it is right or wrong. You are not my God.

cwolfman13

So my oldest is 3 and asked me about Santa and Christmas. I told him the basic crap that everyone spews and I hate myself for it! Wh does he need to believe in Santa just to have it crushed later in life? Why set them up for disappointment later in life. Am I a bad mom because I don't want to perpetuate this myth?

Thoughts please.

Your poor kid...who pissed in your wheaties? I don't think kids are all that crushed later in life when they realize he's not real...my parents never let me believe in Santa for religious reasons and it still irks me that they didn't just let me be a kid and enjoy a harmless fairy-tail for those few short years when magic is actually real.

Personally, yeah...I think you suck.

WendyTerry420

Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.

Another crock!


Love = honesty

Disagree! There are adult things that children should NOT be exposed to. I believe lying is at times necessary to protect them.

Protecting little ones is NOT the same as telling them lies. Don't be absurd.

Semantics! Lying by omission is still a lie and although we are friends I think you are being extremely judgmental, condescending and frankly you are being absurd.

I'm not trying to be judgmental. The Santa Myth is one of my biggest pet peeves. In this, I am the "Annoying Atheist." Sorry.

ETA: I was originally playing "White Knight" to the OP because everyone was crapping on her. I know how that feels.

But your "White Knighting" did come across as very condescending and judgemental...in the way you wrote it...so if you don't truly feel that way or as strongly and were simply just defending the OP...didn't you just lie to all of us? Santa may be a myth, but I have always used him along the lines of Christmas Spirit. My children donate time, energy and toys to others in need this time of year, and this year my oldest has spent time cleaning up after the tornado that rocked Washington, IL as we live in Pekin. To say that allowing them to believe in Santa turns them into greedy liars is a sweeping generalization that is just not true. If you truly believe that I'm sorry...if you don't truly believe it...implying it is a lie....and you did imply it with one of your earlier posts. :-(

Oh, I'm sure it did, just as all the a-holes going off on the OP came across as condescending and judgmental. That's kinda the point of why I went down that road. I know how it feels to have people judging me for how I choose to raise my kids. It sucks when the shoe gets put on the other foot, eh?

kellenas

As a child, I thought Christmas was magical. As an adult, I was jealous of Santa getting the credit for my hard labor. LOL. My friend had an idea. She would allow one present to be labeled from Santa. The rest were from mom/dad, etc. If you would like to incorporate sunday school lessons, could teach about baby Jesus.

This is how I do it. All the wrapped presents are from us, but I've always left one or 2 unwrapped from Santa.

WendyTerry420

Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.

I will never agree with that!

You are in for a tough road ahead then.

Nope, not so tough. My kids are nearly grown, and have told us that they love the fact that they can know that we will always be honest with them. I feel sorry for kids whose parents lie to them for their own convenience. Screw that.

Our teens have an open and honest relationship. Since we have always been honest with them, they are free now to be honest with us, even on tough issues like sex/drugs. Being a liar is no good for long term relationships.

Let's be clear, I said protecting children from the truth isn't necessarily lying.

Let me ask you this....

If your parents would have gotten divorced when you were 3 years old cause your dad banged his secretary, and you asked your mother why they got divorced. Would you expect them to tell you "Because daddy banged the secretary?"

lmao

My parents are still happily married, and my husband and I are still happily married. Maybe honesty has something to do with it? *shrugs*

That's the way to deflect the question...you got that nailed down.

You are asking me something for which I have zero experience. My parents never cheated. i have never cheated. My husband has never cheated. How am I supposed to respond to something like that?

Its called a hypothetical. Its how you test theories.

I skipped that class in school. *shrugs*

Cranquistador

I can't believe this thread has gone on for so many pages.....

I thought it would go to 2 max!

Well a lot of people are very upset about your Santa beliefs. Maybe Santa should be added to religion in the ToS. People are acting like their entire holiday is crushed because someone on the internet disagrees.

Better check your FL twice for liars...wouldnt want to associate with them, now would you?

WendyTerry420

Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.

I will never agree with that!

You are in for a tough road ahead then.

Nope, not so tough. My kids are nearly grown, and have told us that they love the fact that they can know that we will always be honest with them. I feel sorry for kids whose parents lie to them for their own convenience. Screw that.

Our teens have an open and honest relationship. Since we have always been honest with them, they are free now to be honest with us, even on tough issues like sex/drugs. Being a liar is no good for long term relationships.

Let's be clear, I said protecting children from the truth isn't necessarily lying.

Let me ask you this....

If your parents would have gotten divorced when you were 3 years old cause your dad banged his secretary, and you asked your mother why they got divorced. Would you expect them to tell you "Because daddy banged the secretary?"

lmao

My parents are still happily married, and my husband and I are still happily married. Maybe honesty has something to do with it? *shrugs*

That's the way to deflect the question...you got that nailed down.

You are asking me something for which I have zero experience. My parents never cheated. i have never cheated. My husband has never cheated. How am I supposed to respond to something like that?

What if one of your parents did cheat, but chose not to tell you? What if you just don't know and they chose to protect you?

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

FindingMyPerfection

I thank you all for expressing your opinions, you have given me many things to think about. I apologize that it became such a polarized discussion. This is a time of year for celebration love and understanding.

Enjoy your holiday celebrations and embrace the unique traditions tha make them special for you.:flowerforyou: