Santa!?!?! I hate the lie!

msf74

I honestly don't know how parents could let their children believe in a omniscient entity usually represented with a long flowing white beard and robes, with unearthly powers that looks over children in judgement and rewards them for compliance but punishes them if they do not.

I don't mind Santa though....

PRMinx

I'm not trying to be judgmental. The Santa Myth is one of my biggest pet peeves. In this, I am the "Annoying Atheist." Sorry.

Really? Why don't you go re-read some of your posts when you step down off your ivory tower.

k8blujay2

Tell him the truth. My mom did, and I learned to appreciate Christmas for the family time and spirit of generosity. I'm going to do the same for mine.

This! This is what I want for my kids.

I believed in Santa and still appreciated the family time and spirit of Christmas.

You can have both.

^^ This

WendyTerry420

Tell him the truth. My mom did, and I learned to appreciate Christmas for the family time and spirit of generosity. I'm going to do the same for mine.

So true! My kids understand and appreciate Christmas, whereas the ones that get told the Santa lie, end up believing that Christmas is all about presents.

This is a horrible thing to say. and not true.

It's horrible to equate Christmas with giving presents. It's also horrible to lie to your loved ones because it's "entertaining" or whatever.

Christmas is about presents. Are you new?

That's too bad that people feel that way. smh


We have had Christmas at our house when my husband was in the hospital and no one got any presents. Yet, it was still Christmas. Christmas has nothing to do with presents. And thank God for that!

Why bother celebrating it at all? It's essentially meaningless.

This is exactly what I am talking about. To me, Christmas is meaningless if the only thing that matters is getting presents.

WendyTerry420

Honestly I don't like all the lying to kids thing either. I try to keep it to a minimum. No elf on the shelf or black mailing them to behave.

:drinker:

waltcote

<----goes in corner and hugs his teddy bear tightly!!! :huh:

rml_16

This is exactly what I am talking about. To me, Christmas is meaningless if the only thing that matters is getting presents.

So just call it Thanksgiving and be done.

Mia_RagazzaTosta

Well this was a huge spoiler for this 34 year old.

:sad:

3foldchord

I avoided that one.. Never had to tell my kids one way or the other about Santa being real or a lie.

my oldest son came to me at 3yrs old, after preschool one day (in December) and says something like..."You know that big guy in red that brings presents?" ME: "Santa??" Son:"Ya, Santa.... well, don't believe it mom, it's a lie."

I asked why he thought Santa wasn't real and he said something about it being too silly and ridiculous then asked why so many kids fall for it.. I made sure he knew that it was the parents job to let their child know about Santa's reality when the parent thought the child was ready and to NOT EVER tell any of the kids it's a lie, that would make the kid and their mom very sad.
My middle son cried and got mad when I said something about the tooth fairy giving him money for his first truth.."Mom,, why would you lie to me like that?? You know the Tooth Fairy isn't real!!!"

my poor youngest son was just a normal kid who thought those characters might be real and was confused for a few years.

(I was like my older two and never ever believed in any of the Holiday Characters either. No wonder I never had friends growing up)

neandermagnon

What this really boils down to is how you teach your children about life. Is it ok to lie to anyone, no, absolutely not. But lets face it, we all do it to some degree every day. If you say you don't, then that is a lie in itself.

I disagree. There are lots of situations where it's not only okay to lie, but you could argue that it's the ethical thing to do.

You're living in Germany in the 1940s and there's a Jewish family living in your basement, in secret. The Gestapo knock on your door and ask you if you know of any Jews that are hiding anywhere. So you're going to tell them the truth....? Or you're going to claim that the ethical thing to do is tell the truth....? No, the ethical thing to do in this situation is to lie.

And there are a lot of comparatively minor situations where lying to save someone's feelings has no long term consequences, but telling the truth would hurt their feelings and do a lot more damage than the little white lie.

There are of course many, many situations where it's wrong to lie and they're certainly more common than situations where it's better to lie. But my point is that your statement that it's absolutely not okay to lie, is incorrect.

jenifr818

Let your kids be kids, let them believe in the magic of Christmas! They'll grow up and be dissapointed a whole lot with life in general, let them enjoy their childhood while they can

I'm a grown *kitten* adult and I still love the magic of Christmas.

Is some flying elf actually being tracked by NORAD each year? Naw, but the moment he steps out of line we're taking him down, and bringing democracy to the north pole after liberating their elf slaves.

:laugh:

WendyTerry420

Santa is a tradition and folklore, that's all. If you want to deny them a piece of their heritage, that is fine. But it isn't any more wrong than celebrating any holiday or believing in a particular religion.

We can watch movies and read books about Santa without pretending that he's real.

iamanadult

TheSlorax

Well this was a huge spoiler for this 34 year old.

:sad:

I know... couldn't OP at least mark it with "spoiler"?? not doing so was a party foul.

kellenas

I avoided that one.. Never had to tell my kids one way or the other about Santa being real or a lie.

my oldest son came to me at 3yrs old, after preschool one day (in December) and says something like..."You know that big guy in red that brings presents?" ME: "Santa??" Son:"Ya, Santa.... well, don't believe it mom, it's a lie."

I asked why he thought Santa wasn't real and he said something about it being too silly and ridiculous then asked why so many kids fall for it.. I made sure he knew that it was the parents job to let their child know about Santa's reality when the parent thought the child was ready and to NOT EVER tell any of the kids it's a lie, that would make the kid and their mom very sad.
My middle son cried and got mad when I said something about the tooth fairy giving him money for his first truth.."Mom,, why would you lie to me like that?? You know the Tooth Fairy isn't real!!!"

my poor youngest son was just a normal kid who thought those characters might be real and was confused for a few years.

(I was like my older two and never ever believed in any of the Holiday Characters either. No wonder I never had friends growing up)

I never believed in Santa, Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, etc, either. I'm ok about it, though. It wasn't that someone told me they weren't real, I just don't ever remember believing.

zephtalah

I don't tell my children Santa Claus is real (or Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy or whatever other silly things like that.) However, my children are aware of the tradition. I tell them it is a game people like to play or pretend about. I will not lie to my children. One day they will figure it out or hear from someone else and then they will wonder "what else is mommy and daddy lying to me about?" Why do that to them? There is plenty of joy in Christmas with out lying to my children. Just my opinion and it won't bother me at all if everyone else chooses differently.

WendyTerry420

Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.

I will never agree with that!

You are in for a tough road ahead then.

Nope, not so tough. My kids are nearly grown, and have told us that they love the fact that they can know that we will always be honest with them. I feel sorry for kids whose parents lie to them for their own convenience. Screw that.

Our teens have an open and honest relationship. Since we have always been honest with them, they are free now to be honest with us, even on tough issues like sex/drugs. Being a liar is no good for long term relationships.

you can do what you want, but please stop insulting others who do things differently.

I have the same exact relationship with my kids, regardless of Santa. I find it so strange that you would equate that one tradition with how anyone's kids turn out.

It's not just about Santa, but about a pattern of telling lies.

You can be honest with your kids outside of the Santa myth, especially if your kids are still little. But if you continue to try to lie to them when they know better, and/or you lie about other things outside of Christmas, then you will struggle with them when they become teens.

OMG are you serious? Are you saying not telling kids about Santa will turn you into a chronic liar? Start at Christmas and next thing you know... the gateway drug... good lord!

No, not saying that at all. Check the beginning where someone said Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them. .

k8blujay2

Santa's not real?

Seriously...santa helps teach children about unconditional giving, and that's a good life lesson.

Unconditional giving, huh?

Looks like someone is forgetting that whole "naughty or nice" list.

Some people don't do the naughty/nice thing... I know I will not be.

WendyTerry420

Sometimes being a good parent means lying to them.

My kids still believe. I love that Christmas is magical to them. Believing in santa doesn't mean you don’t teach them the meaning of Christmas though.

I will never agree with that!

You are in for a tough road ahead then.

Nope, not so tough. My kids are nearly grown, and have told us that they love the fact that they can know that we will always be honest with them. I feel sorry for kids whose parents lie to them for their own convenience. Screw that.

Our teens have an open and honest relationship. Since we have always been honest with them, they are free now to be honest with us, even on tough issues like sex/drugs. Being a liar is no good for long term relationships.

Let's be clear, I said protecting children from the truth isn't necessarily lying.

Let me ask you this....

If your parents would have gotten divorced when you were 3 years old cause your dad banged his secretary, and you asked your mother why they got divorced. Would you expect them to tell you "Because daddy banged the secretary?"

lmao

My parents are still happily married, and my husband and I are still happily married. Maybe honesty has something to do with it? *shrugs*

That's the way to deflect the question...you got that nailed down.

You are asking me something for which I have zero experience. My parents never cheated. i have never cheated. My husband has never cheated. How am I supposed to respond to something like that?

iamanadult