Can cheaters change?

Ninguneado77

No... they aren't really. Illegal substances are illegal, and therefore, using them is wrong. We live in a generally accepted monogamous society, and therefore, cheating is wrong.

Both have a tendency to cause harm in the lives of the people we love (or don't love depending on how completely narcissistic you are).

…a child grows up and experiences pain and tries to hide from the world using drugs…a male/female with a job, health, family cannot control his/her impulses and just satisfies them when and where he/she sees it fit….I don't see the similarity. So, being in a car accident then or getting terminally ill is also like cheating on your spouse I guess.

wheird

No... they aren't really. Illegal substances are illegal, and therefore, using them is wrong. We live in a generally accepted monogamous society, and therefore, cheating is wrong.

Both have a tendency to cause harm in the lives of the people we love (or don't love depending on how completely narcissistic you are).

…a child grows up and experiences pain and tries to hide from the world using drugs…a male/female with a job, health, family cannot control his/her impulses and just satisfies them when and where he/she sees it fit….I don't see the similarity. So, being in a car accident then or getting terminally ill is also like cheating on your spouse I guess.

"...a child grows up and experiences pain and tries to hide from the world by using sex to mask the negative emotions"

Funny how you excuse one and not the other. :laugh:

UsedToBeHusky

No... they aren't really. Illegal substances are illegal, and therefore, using them is wrong. We live in a generally accepted monogamous society, and therefore, cheating is wrong.

Both have a tendency to cause harm in the lives of the people we love (or don't love depending on how completely narcissistic you are).

…a child grows up and experiences pain and tries to hide from the world using drugs…a male/female with a job, health, family cannot control his/her impulses and just satisfies them when and where he/she sees it fit….I don't see the similarity. So, being in a car accident then or getting terminally ill is also like cheating on your spouse I guess.

Getting in a car accident or getting a terminal illness are not intentional actions.

And sex addiction is just as real and valid as drug addiction.

Look, I don't want to go too deeply into my personal experiences, but I was once a drug addict and a cheater. I'm no longer either. How are you going to explain that one? I decided that I didn't want to be those things and took actions that would help me deal with the issues to change those behaviors. Why would I do that? Because I found the right motivation.

Anyone can change anything about themselves, including cheating, addiction, narcissism, weight management, etc., with the right motivation.

3dogsrunning

No... they aren't really. Illegal substances are illegal, and therefore, using them is wrong. We live in a generally accepted monogamous society, and therefore, cheating is wrong.

Both have a tendency to cause harm in the lives of the people we love (or don't love depending on how completely narcissistic you are).

…a child grows up and experiences pain and tries to hide from the world using drugs…a male/female with a job, health, family cannot control his/her impulses and just satisfies them when and where he/she sees it fit….I don't see the similarity. So, being in a car accident then or getting terminally ill is also like cheating on your spouse I guess.

"...a child grows up and experiences pain and tries to hide from the world by using sex to mask the negative emotions"

Funny how you excuse one and not the other. :laugh:

Ninguneado77

Look, I don't want to go too deeply into my personal experiences, but I was once a drug addict and a cheater. I'm no longer either. How are you going to explain that one? I decided that I didn't want to be those things and took actions that would help me deal with the issues to change those behaviors. Why would I do that? Because I found the right motivation.

Anyone can change anything about themselves, including cheating, addiction, narcissism, weight management, etc., with the right motivation.

I am very proud of you, that you stopped. I believe stopping is not changing. We must live with the consequences of our actions. Nothing can change. Having the courage to stop is laudable and commendable. But the past hasn't changed.

UsedToBeHusky

Look, I don't want to go too deeply into my personal experiences, but I was once a drug addict and a cheater. I'm no longer either. How are you going to explain that one? I decided that I didn't want to be those things and took actions that would help me deal with the issues to change those behaviors. Why would I do that? Because I found the right motivation.

Anyone can change anything about themselves, including cheating, addiction, narcissism, weight management, etc., with the right motivation.

I am very proud of you, that you stopped. I believe stopping is not changing. We must live with the consequences of our actions. Nothing can change. Having the courage to stop is laudable and commendable. But the past hasn't changed.

I never said that the past changed. I said that I changed because now I make better choices.

3dogsrunning

Look, I don't want to go too deeply into my personal experiences, but I was once a drug addict and a cheater. I'm no longer either. How are you going to explain that one? I decided that I didn't want to be those things and took actions that would help me deal with the issues to change those behaviors. Why would I do that? Because I found the right motivation.

Anyone can change anything about themselves, including cheating, addiction, narcissism, weight management, etc., with the right motivation.

I am very proud of you, that you stopped. I believe stopping is not changing. We must live with the consequences of our actions. Nothing can change. Having the courage to stop is laudable and commendable. But the past hasn't changed.

Again, I thought the point of the question is "will they continue to cheat". The phrase 'once a cheater, always a cheater' is used to express the opinion that the person will continue to cheat, whether or not their past has been erased.
I guess I was answering the wrong question.

ArroganceInStep

It's only cheating if you get caught.

TeereeLinn

I believe anyone can change. If they recognize their problem and want to fix it then they can succeed.

Ninguneado77

Funny how you excuse one and not the other. :laugh:

I am just being compassionate in a situation where a child (a child, not a full grown man) is coping with pain. Being compassionate sometimes generates laughter.

ryry_

Look, I don't want to go too deeply into my personal experiences, but I was once a drug addict and a cheater. I'm no longer either. How are you going to explain that one? I decided that I didn't want to be those things and took actions that would help me deal with the issues to change those behaviors. Why would I do that? Because I found the right motivation.

Anyone can change anything about themselves, including cheating, addiction, narcissism, weight management, etc., with the right motivation.

I am very proud of you, that you stopped. I believe stopping is not changing. We must live with the consequences of our actions. Nothing can change. Having the courage to stop is laudable and commendable. But the past hasn't changed.

I can't decide if you are intentionally trolling or just really, really, bad at logical reasoning.

Losing75byDecember

You all make me laugh talking about cheaters. Most of you flirt on here and I'm sure send naked pics too. So, for those of you thinking cheating is just physical, you're all wrong.

ryry_

OP Please do not PM me with other non sensical things.

Ophidion

For the people that say cheaters can't change, that's not what your SO told me in bed last night:devil:

rml_16

Look, I don't want to go too deeply into my personal experiences, but I was once a drug addict and a cheater. I'm no longer either. How are you going to explain that one? I decided that I didn't want to be those things and took actions that would help me deal with the issues to change those behaviors. Why would I do that? Because I found the right motivation.

Anyone can change anything about themselves, including cheating, addiction, narcissism, weight management, etc., with the right motivation.

I am very proud of you, that you stopped. I believe stopping is not changing. We must live with the consequences of our actions. Nothing can change. Having the courage to stop is laudable and commendable. But the past hasn't changed.

You keep using the word "change." I do not think it means what you think it means.

rml_16

You all make me laugh talking about cheaters. Most of you flirt on here and I'm sure send naked pics too. So, for those of you thinking cheating is just physical, you're all wrong.

lolwut?

cad39too

I'm sure they probably could; would i give a cheater that opportunity....Nah!

sixout

For the people that say cheaters can't change, that's not what your SO told me in bed last night:devil:

so brave.

MuscleAndMascara

I'm not sure what to say to this post.. My husband was a cheater when we were dating. (yes I was the young dumb girl who took him back) But we've been married for two years now and he refuses to even look at a woman.. He did it himself.. He just decided one day he didn't want to anymore or I am not sure. I keep expecting him to and that's kinda ****ty on my part, but I have always heard the same thing. Once a cheater always a cheater. He gets angry when women talk to him in a flirty matter and he even stopped looking at magazines? I don't go through his personal things or sneak about looking for issues. I have even told him to go ahead. I think I broke him some how? I'm not sure what "changed" him.

I do believe you can change, but only if YOU want to.

skullshank

ONCE A CHEAT....ALWAYS A CHEAT...PLAIN AND SIMPLE

sorry you got cheated on? a lot?