Single Moms, not worth dating? Do tell...

LankyYankee

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.


ETA: Not speaking of myself specifically, obviously not looking to date anyone who had those feelings... Just interested to know the reasoning behind it for those that hold that opinion

randomtai

*shrug* I never had trouble dating and I have kids. I eventually settled down with someone who loves my kids like his own.

Danny_Boy13

I have the highest level of respect for single moms. I have dated them before and they are some of the best peoples that I know of. I don't know how they do it at times. So my hat goes off to all of you single moms.... and dads for that matter as well.

kellenas

While that's true of some women, it wasn't of me. I was single because I chose to be and didn't get child support. I worked and supported him myself. He didn't need a daddy, he had me. My father and Bro in law were the male role models for him. He's not a pain nor has he ever been a pain. I detest drama, hence the reason I don't have too many female friends and never have. Having said all that, when I did decide to start dating again 10 years after my divorce, it wasn't very difficult to find dates. My fiance has kids, so he understood what it was like to date with kids. The only drama we deal with is from his ex wife.

djeffreys10

It was definitely true of my ex wife. She just wanted someone to take care of her and her kids. But I figure there are just as many gold diggers without kids as there are gold diggers with kids.

rml_16

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.

I wouldn't even concern myself with those comments. Why do you want someone who feels that way when there are plenty of men out there who don't?

And, seriously, do you have any idea how many men this single mom dated who would "never date a single mom"? It's easy to state an absolute until you meet the exception to your rule. If a man finds you attractive enough and then you're interesting enough to talk to, he'll date you most likely, regardless or children.

And if he finds you attractive and interesting and doesn't date you because of children, you don't want him, anyway. So move on and get over it.

odusgolp

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.

Anyone that thinks any of the above isn't someone I'd consider dating anyhow.

dirty_dirty_eater

Worst thing is, they get extra pissed off when they find our you're already married. SMH

Holly_Roman_Empire

My mom married a man with a child from a previous marriage. She doesn't say she regrets it, but she cautioned me to not do what she did. Dealing with the other parent is a pain, and usually it is a lot of drama.

Sovictorrious

Everyone has an opinion.... Who cares this world is filled with single parents and they date.

FatHuMan1

I personally have no problem dating single moms. It's my wife who has the issues.

rml_16

My mom married a man with a child from a previous marriage. She doesn't say she regrets it, but she cautioned me to not do what she did. Dealing with the other parent is a pain, and usually it is a lot of drama.

Not always, by any means.

I don't deal with my fiance's ex-wife; he does. And my daughter's father chose not to be in the picture, so no problems there. And many exes get along well.

Certain people seem to attract a lot of drama, regardless, and they will find it no matter what they do. Having a child does not create or assure drama.

Ophidion

Worst thing is, they get extra pissed off when they find our you're already married. SMH

Hahahaha, but at least you know they put out

AmberJewelCR

I never had trouble dating as a single mom. I did have a couple guys tell me my kids "scared" them. So They were gone. My kids are my number 1, if you're not ok with that, then there's no reason to continue.

It's nothing to be offended about. People have opinions, especially about things they don't know

Escloflowne

I wouldn't date one, they are pretty much ruined!

Holly_Roman_Empire

My mom married a man with a child from a previous marriage. She doesn't say she regrets it, but she cautioned me to not do what she did. Dealing with the other parent is a pain, and usually it is a lot of drama.

Not always, by any means.

I don't deal with my fiance's ex-wife; he does. And my daughter's father chose not to be in the picture, so no problems there. And many exes get along well.

Certain people seem to attract a lot of drama, regardless, and they will find it no matter what they do. Having a child does not create or assure drama.

Of course, I should have prefaced it by saying that not every ex is full of drama. Just explaining why my mom warned me.

missomgitsica

I wouldn't date anyone with kids because I don't like or want kids, plain and simple. I've had the opportunity to date both single moms and single dads and the kids are a total deal breaker. And I feel zero guilt for that.

Mahihkan

Well if you don't have kids, and dont want any... why date a single mom/dad? If you dont want any, you don't want someone else's either... right?
That's my point of view... I dont want any, so...

tworthen79

Some consider single parents "damaged goods", "extra baggage"....
But these men/women have the hardest jobs. Doing it alone at times. And I find it hypocritical when people say that one of the qualities they look for in a future spouse "good mom/dad, nurturer.......YET when they find a person who is EXACTLY that, they make those comments.

jackpotclown

really? I think that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of......you get first hand knowledge of what kind of parent she is or will be....and more likely than not she won't be inclined to have a bigger family because she knows what it takes raising a kid alone....plus she already has an idea of what doesn't or hasn't worked in her life.....back when I dated, it was more single moms than those without kids....just seemed to have their head on a bit straighter and no time for BS and games \m/

julie3227

What I've heard from some of my male friends is that they don't take women with kids seriously because they want a family all their own. It's personal preference.

SexKittenlovesitrough

who cares.....they don't want to date you because you have a kid, why in the WORLD would you want to date them?

is this like the grass is greener thing? because you can't have the person (since they don't want a single mom) you have to be all butt hurt about it?

nah....whatever....

as for single mom "reputations" every label has a reputation...a single man with no baggage and is over 30 is now labelled a momma's boy...or has something "wrong" with him...

a single woman over 30 is a career shark, someone who is too ambitious to settle down and wont' have time for you...

every label has a reputation...doesn't mean if you fit the label you fit the reputation.

Holly_Roman_Empire

What I've heard from some of my male friends is that they don't take women with kids seriously because they want a family all their own. It's personal preference.

This is what my husband said to me when we first started dating. It was a deal-breaker for him.

FredSetToGetFit

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.

These responses should weed out the ones you should avoid, as they clearly are not suited to your lifestyle. Move on and focus on the good guys that will be good for you AND your kids.

eric_sg61

Being a single parent will limit your dating pool. Best not to get all butthurt about it. No matter what you are, people will always find something negative or wrong with you. If you react by getting offended, then they have won.

seltzermint555

I think some people may be confused.

You can be lazy, a gold digger, and/or a loser with or without children.

You can also be an awesome, responsible, hardworking person without drama...with or without children.

As for me personally, when I was dating I would not have dated a person with kids because I am very very serious about remaining childfree for life. When I met a guy with kids I automatically considered him off limits because I think being a stepparent is a very serious commitment and while it may not be the same thing as being an actual parent, it's WAY too close for me...even in a situation where the child did not live in the same household.

No, I don't hate kids. I just chose my lifestyle very carefully and with good reason. Being a parent or quasi parent is not for me.

rml_16

Being a single parent will limit your dating pool. Best not to get all butthurt about it. No matter what you are, people will always find something negative or wrong with you. If you react by getting offended, then they have won.

It limits it a bit, but not that much.

Seriously, like I said, people say "no single moms/dads" until they meet a single mom/dad they like.

iamanadult

People want what the want. Why get so offended if that's not you?

ldrosophila

Date a single Dad problem solved

Myhaloslipped

I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

UsedToBeHusky

Date a single Dad problem solved

+1 :drinker: