Single Moms, not worth dating? Do tell...

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  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
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    Being a single mom made me grow up. I attribute pretty much all the best things about me to that. Including the independence and confidence to not give a rat's @ss about anyone not wanting to date single moms.
  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
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    As a soon to be divorced mom of 2, I am not looking for a man to take care of me and my kids....I can do that all on my own. That is a proven fact. When and if the right man comes along he will have to love my kids and treat them right because their own dad doesn't. The fact is for the most part of my 15 year marriage I was a single mom anyway because that piece of crap did not help me.
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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    I was widowed with 4 kids and had zero problems with finding guys who wanted to date me. I made it very clear to any potential BF that I was not looking for anyone to take care of me or my kids as I did that all on my own. If I were to date them it would simply to have someone for me. I have since remarried and had twins :)
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    Honestly, any reason to not want to date someone is a perfectly valid reason. If someone doesn't want to date me because I am a single dad, that is their perogative. Just as valid as them not finding me attractive, or not having any common interests, etc. I have heard of some women being offended by guys not wanted to date them because they have kids, and I just don't get it. A guy is allowed to want whatever it is he wants. If that is someone without kids, so be it. I personally will not date someone with more than one baby daddy. Just like I won't date a woman that is overweight. If that offends someone who is thus ruled out, tough *kitten*. I am allowed to want whatever I choose.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    Since I have been single, until the current one I am seeing, all have been single moms with anywhere from 1-3 kids. I have no issue with dating single moms, though the scheduling can be difficult as I have my son on set days/weekends, and if the schedules don't align, it makes dating very difficult.
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
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    Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

    No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

    a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
    b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
    c) The kids are a pain
    d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

    Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.

    Finding a single mother with her *kitten* together is the hard part. The other hard part is finding a single mother who is so by action and not just definition. I have dated quite a few "single mothers" and 80% of them treated their children as little more than an inconvenience in life, an accessory and/or a source of income. However, when a real man finds a woman who truly lives her child(ren) and has her *kitten* together, he will hold on tight.
    I agree with this. When I was a single mom, I had a really hard time attending those "support groups". They were little more than a bunch of people whining about getting the shaft and sharing tips on how to leech off the system. Of course, there are single and married people with and without children who are this way too.

    I was a single mom with her **** together. I chose to only date single dads with their **** together. My dating life was just fine.
  • _JPunky
    _JPunky Posts: 508 Member
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    The guy I'm seeing now said that he usually won't date single moms. Then he met me and decided that was stupid. lol

    I asked him what his reasoning was, because it especially surprised me because he has children of his own and has them about half of the time. He said that he's just seen a lot of single moms have more drama with their exes because they actually HAVE to keep in contact with them.

    I told him he was dumb. He agreed and laughed. Guess I'll keep him around for now... :laugh:
  • Hornsby
    Hornsby Posts: 10,322 Member
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    Much respect for all the single moms out there....coming from a single dad :) But I wouldn't be more serious than casual dating with a single mom with kids under like 10 probably. I just don't want to have to deal with it really. Plus, mine is 14 and I am almost "done" so I don't want to start over.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I was widowed with 4 kids and had zero problems with finding guys who wanted to date me. I made it very clear to any potential BF that I was not looking for anyone to take care of me or my kids as I did that all on my own. If I were to date them it would simply to have someone for me. I have since remarked and had twins :)

    I have a friend who's been divorced twice, has two kids from each marriage, one of whom has special needs. She dated like crazy until she met the guy she's married to now. And it seemed like every time she split up with one guy, the next was waiting in the wings because she wold be in a new relationship within a week of splitting from the last guy.

    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.
  • heylookitsval
    heylookitsval Posts: 1,141 Member
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    I don't get why women get so upset about it...if the guy told you he didn't want to date you because you were unattractive or he hated your shoes would that make you feel better? Get over it and move on to the next, there is always going to be someone out there who will want to date you.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Much respect for all the single moms out there....coming from a single dad :) But I wouldn't be more serious than casual dating with a single mom with kids under like 10 probably. I just don't want to have to deal with it really. Plus, mine is 14 and I am almost "done" so I don't want to start over.

    Nothing wrong with that...


    To each their own, really.
  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
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    Honestly, any reason to not want to date someone is a perfectly valid reason. If someone doesn't want to date me because I am a single dad, that is their perogative. Just as valid as them not finding me attractive, or not having any common interests, etc. I have heard of some women being offended by guys not wanted to date them because they have kids, and I just don't get it. A guy is allowed to want whatever it is he wants. If that is someone without kids, so be it. I personally will not date someone with more than one baby daddy. Just like I won't date a woman that is overweight. If that offends someone who is thus ruled out, tough *kitten*. I am allowed to want whatever I choose.

    Yup, pretty much this. I am a single mom and I can completely understand why a single man without kids would not want to date me. I have dated guys that don't have kids and I have dated guys that have kids. Really it's all about personal preference and what each individual is looking for.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    I'm also a single mom and have not had any issues with dating. Maybe try dating dads? That way, they are also parents and also understand what it takes to be a parent.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    If a guy thinks that being a single mom is automatic grounds to not pay attention to me that's awesome! Means I don't have to waste time finding out we aren't compatible. Not sure why people let that bother them. It's like getting upset that a guy isn't attracted to you because you aren't blonde. Why would you try to force it on them? They aren't interested let them walk away.
  • tworthen79
    tworthen79 Posts: 1,173 Member
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    I get it.

    It narrows down to preference. Some men like blondes, some like big butts, others love women who are curvy. Same goes for anything you look for in a partner. That's all fine and dandy. I like my husband because he had tattoos, a goatee and awesome shoulders.

    I could be judged on my tattoos as a deal breaker. But if that's the case, there's no need for rude comments about the people who you have dismissed (i.e ...She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket? , just wants a new daddy for the kids. The kids are a pain and other stupid judgments) for their lacking of the qualities you desire. Just move on.
  • mojohowitz
    mojohowitz Posts: 900 Member
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    443f5a6f1e93a663b7e4afd87728e6d4_BCsinglemoms0513.gif

    No one has posted this yet?!?!
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
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    Some guys would date single mothers, other will not.

    Personally, I don't think I would date a single mom. I have little interest in assisting when it comes to taking care of kids. I'm not the "beta provider" type when it comes to another man's children. I also want fun, spontaneity (tough to do if you are scrambling to find a last minute babysitter), and excitement, not little league games and school plays.

    I would date a single mother if she was spectacular in other facets of her life (great shape, looks, positive attitude, etc), but other than that, I'll take a pass.

    But yeah, your best bet is always going to be single fathers.
  • miss_jessiejane
    miss_jessiejane Posts: 2,819 Member
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    I personally only date single moms. The married ones are the ones I avoid.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
    In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

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