Single Moms, not worth dating? Do tell...

rml_16

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Meanwhile, trash live off money meant for the child paid by the dad. Proving the dad is paying WAY too much. Yes, men get screwed by the system.

Lovely. Calling someone you've never met trash. Classy, classy.

And trust me, the fathers were doing just fine.

TX_Rhon

OMG. Sounds like that guy spends a LOT of time watching porn, and re-runs of "Weird Science"....

Strong first post!

And that list was amazing! There weren't that many stipulations when I bought my friggin' house!!!

ZombieGeezUs

I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

Did he live in Texas?

Yes he did!

Found it: http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948


I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

I want the girl to be attractive.

I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha :-D

It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

I also have a very high sex drive.

What a DOUCHE!

Oh, that guy is going to have so many women flocking to him. *jealous*

erickirb

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Meanwhile, trash live off money meant for the child paid by the dad. Proving the dad is paying WAY too much. Yes, men get screwed by the system.

My ex-wife gets 1/3 of my net pay, not leaving me with much, essentially just enough to "live" on.

dbmata

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Hmmm, you seem bitter too.

Here, have a puppy.

Bankman1989

I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

Did he live in Texas?

Wait a second! I LIVE in TEXAS! Texas is a lot cooler than what you see on TV especially HOUSTON! And that guy IS a DOUCHE! Now he could be in East Texas..I wouldn't go there after dark..lol

Yes he did!

Found it: http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948


I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

I want the girl to be attractive.

I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha :-D

It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

I also have a very high sex drive.

What a DOUCHE!

A NEEDY douche!

rml_16

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Hmmm, you seem bitter too.

Here, have a puppy.

Well, when you can't see your dying grandmother because you're supporting your child and that child's father is taking a tour of Europe after getting out of supporting that same child and then you read men complaining about how awful they have it, it's a little annoying.

But I do love puppies.

SonicDeathMonkey80

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Meanwhile, trash live off money meant for the child paid by the dad. Proving the dad is paying WAY too much. Yes, men get screwed by the system.

Frankly, it's none of dad's business where the money goes. It's his duty to do his part, which is financial contribution. This is precisely the reason I declined support from my ex, because she would critique every dime I spent - she can live with knowing how little she contributes. However, if I did receive support, I would use it in the interest of my kid and put the rest into a savings/trust. Kids aren't cheap. It's more than food and clothing.

djeffreys10

She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

My jimmies status: rustled

In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.

Child support does not work that way. I'm VERY familiar with it and through more than one state. I received child support and my fiance pays it.

And have you not heard of alimony?

I am very familiar with it as well. And yes, I have heard of alimony. It is a totally bullsh!t concept that should not exist. Luckily, in Alabama, it is VERY rarely ordered.

You seem bitter.

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes she commited. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

The system isn't rigged to screw you over. I've had numerous guys ask me how they could get custody, but they screw it up every single time. First step is to not leave the family home and/or let mom walk all over you, no matter how "society" says custody/divorce/breakups are supposed to work. Not buying it, sorry.

And alimony can be legit - say you married someone who didn't speak English, or has a disability. Grow up.

The first thing any divorce attorney that is not blowing smoke up your *kitten* will tell you is that, as a man, it is an uphill climb. Family court is biased towards a woman. You can argue against that, but you will be wrong. Period. And the child support system is set up in such a way that a man earning any kind of decent money will be paying TONS more than what the kids cost in child support. That is a fact. Again, you can argue it. But you will be wrong. I know how much I WOULD be paying in child support. And, given that I am raising my kids (without recievin child support, mind you), I know how much they cost. And the two amounts are not even close.

And there are plenty of people who do not speak English, or who has a disability, that I am not reponsible for financially supporting. If I were once married to them, that shouldn't change it. When my marriage to a person ends, any and all responsibility I have towards that person should end. In my case, it did. That is one scenario that my state gets correct, even if it is just as screwed up as the rest concerning child support.

ajaxe432

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.


ETA: Not speaking of myself specifically, obviously not looking to date anyone who had those feelings... Just interested to know the reasoning behind it for those that hold that opinion

I have Highest respect for single mothers.....but with that being sad, I have dated b, c, and d multiple times. I know there are good ones out there, but my experience is what you just named... Not to mention another one is over needy. Just my experience.

ldrosophila

Found it: http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948


I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

I also have a very high sex drive.

poor guy sound like his ex ripped out his little beady heart and smashed it into a million pieces

Myhaloslipped

I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

Did he live in Texas?

Yes he did!

Found it: http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948


I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

I want the girl to be attractive.

I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha :-D

It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

I also have a very high sex drive.

Oh dear! Lol.

djeffreys10

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Meanwhile, trash live off money meant for the child paid by the dad. Proving the dad is paying WAY too much. Yes, men get screwed by the system.

Lovely. Calling someone you've never met trash. Classy, classy.

And trust me, the fathers were doing just fine.

Yes, I am calling her trash. She uses her kids as a means to support herself at the expense of their fathers. She is trash.

csuhar

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.


ETA: Not speaking of myself specifically, obviously not looking to date anyone who had those feelings... Just interested to know the reasoning behind it for those that hold that opinion

I wouldn't say these are things that mean she is "not worth dating" by any stretch. I've known single parents who were squared away and childless singles who were complete messes.


A and B are what I consider questions to look into. It is not, in my opinion, irrational to ask if she is looking for something other than a romantic partner. But those aren't questions you can answer without dating her at some level and getting to know her.

At this point, I will admit that the phrase "my kid(s) will always come first" can be a BIG sour note and dampen my interest. Don't get me wrong- I fully understand being a parent imposes a new set of priorities because kids need their parents to take care of them. And I wouldn't be upset if she had to cancel a big fancy date I'd planned because, for examle, the child was sick. (In fact, I'd most likely ask if there was anything I could do to help, even if that meant standing in McDonalds or going through the Pharmacy in my best suit.) What bothers me is the sense that this phrase tells me she's already prioritized me below the children. Being who I am, I would want to be as much of a good parent for the child as I could, and I can't do that if the child ranks higher in the pecking order. Plus, that vibe is what can make me feel like I'm dealing with someone from category A, who is looking for me to fund her mommy & kids group, or someone from category B, where her priority may not be being in a relationship with me as much as fixing the fact the kids' actual dad isn't around.

I have no problem with kids, but I'm not here to fix your financial or parternity problems.


C is an absolute non player. I would like to have kids, so I'm prepared for the trouble of raising them. (At least, I'm as prepared as anyone who doesn't actually have kids can be.)


D is a non-player because I feel it's an issue that really would need to be tended to over the course of the relationship. In any situation where you're talking about parents and kids, I think there is value to taking the time and effort to be able to focus on the relationship between the two adults because if that relationship is sour, then it can hurt the kids. I think it's especially important when kids are already in the picture at the start of the adults' relationship because the parents haven't had an opportunity to work out their relationship as just the two of them like the opportunity afforded to those who go through dating, engagement, and usually at least a bit of married life before having kids.


Overall, if I'm looking at whether or not to enter into a relationship with someone, having kids is far from a deal breaker. It just means there are additional questions to ask and details to sort out in the process.

Will_Thrust_For_Candy

Wow that Romeo guy or whatever his name is clearly has the SMALLEST PENIS EVER if having a baby makes a vagina that much looser :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


Would also like to add.....not sure how this thread turned into another battle on child support but you know both men and women get screwed over by the system. Just like most things, it's really not fair to lump everyone into the "deadbeat" category right off the bat. My ex screws the system every way he can and I rarely get child support unless the government can find him, so I do speak from experience.

rml_16

Yes, I am calling her trash. She uses her kids as a means to support herself at the expense of their fathers. She is trash.

But that isn't what happened.

And her second ex? Yeah ... abusive SOB. But I guess she should have stayed with him so as not to be labeled trash by a complete stranger who knows nothing of the situation.

And for the record, I knew a lot about her second ex before I ever met her. I worked for the local newspaper and he used to write letters to the editor constantly. He was a wack job.

djeffreys10

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Meanwhile, trash live off money meant for the child paid by the dad. Proving the dad is paying WAY too much. Yes, men get screwed by the system.

Frankly, it's none of dad's business where the money goes. It's his duty to do his part, which is financial contribution. This is precisely the reason I declined support from my ex, because she would critique every dime I spent - she can live with knowing how little she contributes. However, if I did receive support, I would use it in the interest of my kid and put the rest into a savings/trust. Kids aren't cheap. It's more than food and clothing.

Financial contribution TO HIS CHILDREN is his responsibility. If mom is living off that money, he has been ordered to pay too much. That is his business, as it is not his responsibility to support their mom. Only them.

SonicDeathMonkey80

She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

My jimmies status: rustled

In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.

Child support does not work that way. I'm VERY familiar with it and through more than one state. I received child support and my fiance pays it.

And have you not heard of alimony?

I am very familiar with it as well. And yes, I have heard of alimony. It is a totally bullsh!t concept that should not exist. Luckily, in Alabama, it is VERY rarely ordered.

You seem bitter.

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes she commited. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

The system isn't rigged to screw you over. I've had numerous guys ask me how they could get custody, but they screw it up every single time. First step is to not leave the family home and/or let mom walk all over you, no matter how "society" says custody/divorce/breakups are supposed to work. Not buying it, sorry.

And alimony can be legit - say you married someone who didn't speak English, or has a disability. Grow up.

The first thing any divorce attorney that is not blowing smoke up your *kitten* will tell you is that, as a man, it is an uphill climb. Family court is biased towards a woman. You can argue against that, but you will be wrong. Period. And the child support system is set up in such a way that a man earning any kind of decent money will be paying TONS more than what the kids cost in child support. That is a fact. Again, you can argue it. But you will be wrong. I know how much I WOULD be paying in child support. And, given that I am raising my kids (without recievin child support, mind you), I know how much they cost. And the two amounts are not even close.

And there are plenty of people who do not speak English, or who has a disability, that I am not reponsible for financially supporting. If I were once married to them, that shouldn't change it. When my marriage to a person ends, and and all responsibility I have towards that person should end. In my case, it did. That is one scenario that my state gets correct, even if it is just as screwed up as the rest concerning child support.

Then I would urge more people to investigate the law just in case things go bad. Can't say any of it is a secret, therefore, if you don't like it, either don't marry/make kids or be 100% sure you know what you are getting into with that person. I'd want to know the consequences of a legal contract that gets voided 53% of the time. And I got custody in Texas, a state that surpasses Alabama for retards.

djeffreys10

Yes, I am calling her trash. She uses her kids as a means to support herself at the expense of their fathers. She is trash.

But that isn't what happened.

And her second ex? Yeah ... abusive SOB. But I guess she should have stayed with him so as not to be labeled trash by a complete stranger who knows nothing of the situation.

And for the record, I knew a lot about her second ex before I ever met her. I worked for the local newspaper and he used to write letters to the editor constantly. He was a wack job.

That is what is happening. According to you. She lives off her kids child support.

SonicDeathMonkey80

I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

Meanwhile, trash live off money meant for the child paid by the dad. Proving the dad is paying WAY too much. Yes, men get screwed by the system.

Frankly, it's none of dad's business where the money goes. It's his duty to do his part, which is financial contribution. This is precisely the reason I declined support from my ex, because she would critique every dime I spent - she can live with knowing how little she contributes. However, if I did receive support, I would use it in the interest of my kid and put the rest into a savings/trust. Kids aren't cheap. It's more than food and clothing.

Financial contribution TO HIS CHILDREN is his responsibility. If mom is living off that money, he has been ordered to pay too much. That is his business, as it is not his responsibility to support their mom. Only them.

So how are you going to make 100% certain that it is your money, unless you go into the bank account and meddle? You'll never be 100% certain, but you will look like a petty *kitten* eventually.