Single Moms, not worth dating? Do tell...

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  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
    In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

    There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

    The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.
  • TX_Rhon
    TX_Rhon Posts: 1,549 Member
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    I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

    Did he live in Texas?


    Yes he did!
    LMAO

    I wish I could find the link, but I'm wondering if he was the guy who posted the ad or whatever it was with about a million very specific things a woman needed to do and be in order to date him. They were insane, but that was actually one of them.

    That's hilarious. I have never had a guy say that to me before, and I was thinking WTF? :laugh:


    OMG, too funny!! I had 2 C-Sections.........so how do I fit in.........am I "in tact"?
    I'm pretty sure the guy from the ad (probably not the same guy) also didn't want your bely stretched out or any stretch marks or scars, so you don't qualify. Sorry. I know you're heartbroken.

    OMG........he just gets better and better!!! :laugh: :laugh:
  • Bankman1989
    Bankman1989 Posts: 1,116 Member
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    I married a woman who had 3 boys. Together we had 6 boys and everyone called us the Brady Bunch. We are no longer together but it wasn't because of the kids. They got along really well. In fact I miss that more than I miss her.
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,951 Member
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    Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

    Never dated any, but had a lot of fun with a few. Don't see why you wouldn't want to.
  • gangsterfurious
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    I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

    Did he live in Texas?

    Yes he did!
    Found it: http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948


    I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

    I want the girl to be attractive.

    I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

    I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

    Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

    I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

    Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

    I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

    However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

    I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

    I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

    I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

    I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

    I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

    To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

    I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

    I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

    I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

    I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

    I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

    I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

    I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

    I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

    I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

    I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

    I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

    I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

    I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

    I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

    I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

    It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

    I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

    Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

    And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha :-D

    It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

    I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

    Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

    I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

    I also have a very high sex drive.


    HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAA ROMEO ROSE!!!! He's so fugs and crazy he has no right to make a list like this.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
    In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

    There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

    The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.

    Child support does not work that way. I'm VERY familiar with it and through more than one state. I received child support and my fiance pays it.

    And have you not heard of alimony?
  • Iron_Lotus
    Iron_Lotus Posts: 2,295 Member
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    I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

    Did he live in Texas?

    Yes he did!
    Found it: http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948


    I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

    I want the girl to be attractive.

    I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

    I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

    Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

    I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

    Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

    I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

    However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

    I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

    I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

    I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

    I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

    I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

    To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

    I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

    I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

    I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

    I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

    I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

    I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

    I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

    I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

    I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

    I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

    I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

    I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

    I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

    I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

    I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

    It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

    I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

    Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

    And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha :-D

    It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

    I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

    Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

    I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

    I also have a very high sex drive.

    What a DOUCHE!
  • VincitQuiSeVincit
    VincitQuiSeVincit Posts: 285 Member
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    I'm a single mother. I do not get offended if a man doesn't want to date me because he doesn't want kids, doesn't want to deal with the baggage of my having a kid, doesn't want to fall into a step-father role or doesn't want to deal with my ex (who is a great and very present father)...That just means they are not the man for me.

    I understand that dating a woman with a child is an undertaking. If it gets serious, it involves not just navigating one relationship, but a relationship with the child, and depending on the situation means navigating one with the child's father. It means taking a backseat to the needs of the child. It's not an easy situation, and I do not think less of a man for realizing he is not prepared or interested in dealing with these factors.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Options
    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
    In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

    There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

    The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.

    Child support does not work that way. I'm VERY familiar with it and through more than one state. I received child support and my fiance pays it.

    And have you not heard of alimony?

    I am very familiar with it as well. And yes, I have heard of alimony. It is a totally bullsh!t concept that should not exist. Luckily, in Alabama, it is VERY rarely ordered.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
    In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

    There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

    The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.

    Child support does not work that way. I'm VERY familiar with it and through more than one state. I received child support and my fiance pays it.

    And have you not heard of alimony?

    I am very familiar with it as well. And yes, I have heard of alimony. It is a totally bullsh!t concept that should not exist. Luckily, in Alabama, it is VERY rarely ordered.

    You seem bitter.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
    In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

    There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

    The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.

    Child support does not work that way. I'm VERY familiar with it and through more than one state. I received child support and my fiance pays it.

    And have you not heard of alimony?

    I am very familiar with it as well. And yes, I have heard of alimony. It is a totally bullsh!t concept that should not exist. Luckily, in Alabama, it is VERY rarely ordered.

    You seem bitter.

    I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes she commited. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.
  • geodrone
    geodrone Posts: 7 Member
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    OMG. Sounds like that guy spends a LOT of time watching porn, and re-runs of "Weird Science"....
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Maybe you are just taking things too personally. Certainly there are those types out there, but I have not found them to me the majority.

    Single mom's rock, but let's face it: They come with a special set of needs when it comes to relationships.
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    ...oops, repost
  • geodrone
    geodrone Posts: 7 Member
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    OMG. Sounds like that guy spends a LOT of time watching porn, and re-runs of "Weird Science"....


    (for some reason my reply posted at the bottom of the comments section..)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

    My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

    Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

    But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
    Options
    I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

    My daughter's father did not pay a dime in child support the first EIGHT years of her life because the state "couldn't find him" to serve him with papers. Then he got out of arrears for the first two years of her life. THEN they didn't make him pay for a dime of child care or health costs and let him out of a couple thousand dollars of arrears when she turned 18 because it "wasn't an enforceable amount."

    Meanwhile, I paid for everything, am making sure she gets an= education and he's going on vacation after vacation (Europe, Vegas and who knows where else?) while I couldn't afford a trip to Buffalo to see my dying grandmother.

    But, yeah, men get screwed by the system and we mothers have it made. :flowerforyou:

    Meanwhile, trash live off money meant for the child paid by the dad. Proving the dad is paying WAY too much. Yes, men get screwed by the system.
  • geodrone
    geodrone Posts: 7 Member
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    I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

    Did he live in Texas?

    Yes he did!
    Found it: http://jezebel.com/delusional-man-child-has-most-incredible-list-of-dating-1382052948


    I am looking for a decent girl that wants to be in a long term monogamus relationship with me.

    I want the girl to be attractive.

    I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build. A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight. I will not date a overweight or fat girl.

    I like girls that are 130 pounds or less. Of course weight needs to be in proportion to their height, as long as they aren’t considred overweight, they should be fine.

    Being overweight is a total dealbreaker with me.

    I also like girls with long hair. I like a girl to look like a girl, not a man, I like a feminine, pretty girl. I like hair down to the shoulders at least. Sometimes I can make exceptions if it is shorter depending on how it looks on the girl. But for the most part, I love long hair.

    Redheads are my favorite, next is Brunettes, and next is Blondes, in that order. I like all 3, but I’m just saying if I had to choose, that’s my order of preference.

    I will not date a Black girl. I don’t care if she looks like Halle Berry, I will not ever date a Black girl.

    However, I will date any other race, Hispanic, Mexican, Spanish, Russian, Italian, French, European, White, whatever, anything except Black.

    I do not like glasses on a girl. Although, it’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts at least most of the time.

    I do not ever want to have kids, so if a girl is wanting to have babies, I am not her man.

    I will not date a girl that does not have a job or career.

    I am not looking for any type of woman that is materialistic or a gold digger or expects a man to pay for everything.

    I do not like tattoos on a woman. If a woman already has tattoos, it may not be a deal breaker unless she plans to get more in the future. If a woman has something small and feminine like a butterfly or rose already on her ankle or something then it may not necessacerily be a dealbreaker. And it would also help if she would consider having them laser removed, something I might would even pay to have done for her.

    To me, tattoos just represent white trash or somone that’s been in prison. I do not care for following trends like mindless sheep and getting tats just because what ever Star on TV got them, they will always be a symbol of White Trash. The Female human body is the most beautiful work of Art God ever created, to tattoo it with ink is the same as vandalising a famous Monet painting with a can of spray paint!

    I also do not like piercings on a woman. I do not like a woman to have anything pireced other than her Ears. If she has other piercings it’s not a dealbreaker as long as she removes them and never wears them again.

    I do not like gamblers. I will not be in any relationship with a woman that gambles or wastes money on such things.

    I do not like strippers! I will not date any girl that has ever been a stripper. I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband.

    I will not date any girl that has ever had a threesome, or a large number of past sexual partners. I do not want a promiscuous slut, I want a normal, decent, good hearted girlfriend.

    I will not date any girl that can not always be honest & faithful to me. This is very important.

    I prefer a girl that does not smoke, but as long as she does not smoke in my house or around me, if she can go outside and smoke, then I can live with that. I lived with my ex girlfriend for Eleven years, and she was a smoker.

    I will not date any girl if she is still friends with any men that she has been intimate with in the past, I believe once a relationship with someone is over, it’s OVER.

    I will not date a selfish woman. I do not like selfish women at all.

    I do not like sarcastic or cynical people, I do not like people that always think negatively either, so that type of girl would also not be a good match for me.

    I know sometimes on my website here, I may seem like a negative person because I point out sooooo many things that I dislike, but I assure you I am a very positive person, I am just tring to put out here my likes/dislikes so you can know more about me and what type of girl may get along with me.

    I do not expect a girl to agree with all of my beliefs or opinions etc, but I do not like to argue, and it’s very important that we can live in peace together if at some point the girl & I live together. I like to live in a quiet & peaceful environment. That is extremely important to me.

    I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!

    I like a girl that takes care of herself and keeps herself clean of course.

    I love it when a girl wears sexy lingerie in the bedroom! Especially thigh highs!

    I need a girl that can be very warm & affectionate and loving.

    It’s also nice if the girl has a big heart and appreciates simples things, and understands the value of sentimental things etc.

    I like a girl that appreciates romance and the art of courtship.

    Kissing is one of my most favorite things to do with a girl, it’s very important. I also love to hold a girls hand when I am walking with her. And I love sleeping beside a girl and holding her close to me, and spooning with her. In fact THAT is the reason I named this website “Sleepless In Austin” because I haven’t had a single good nights sleep in years, ever since my relationship ended with my ex-girlfriend.

    And yes, I also liked the movie Sleepless in Seattle, haha :-D

    It dosen’t matter at all to me how big or small a girls breasts are. I prefer them to be real & natural though. I am against breast implants, I see that as unnecessery self mutilation, and I would not want a girlfriend that has breast implants.

    I prefer a woman that has never had children, because having kids does ruin a womans body often times. They end up with stretch marks. And also sometimes it makes their vagina looser, and I don’t care how many kegel exercises a woman does, after she has 2 or 3 eight to ten pound babies, you can’t tell me it’s going to be 100% as tight as it ever was! Plus, what’s even worse than all of that, is sometimes during childbirth the lips/vulva of a woman get torn and they never look the same as the did originally even after they heal, that’s why some women even get cosmetic reconstructive surgery to their vulvas after childbirth to try and regain their original appearance.

    Now I’m not saying having had a kid or two is a for sure dealbreaker for me, but it’s a case by case basis, and I prefer a woman that’s never had kids if possible. My ex-girlfriend that I was with for Eleven years never had kids, she couldn’t because of a hysterectomy at a young age.

    I like to get a lot of attention in a relationship, and I like to give it as well.

    I also have a very high sex drive.

    What a DOUCHE!

    A NEEDY douche!
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
    Options
    Children ARE a big deal, and that's why people are weird about this issue. I don't have kids, but I've dated a couple of men with kids one of whom had full custody. I understand why some people don't want to do it.

    The good things about it ... single parents know what genuine, unconditional love is. They are typically great with time management. They're usually past the selfish, everything-is-about-me stage of their lives. They're usually more patient and understanding of "life happens" scenarios. They tend to be more stable and secure out of necessity. And you get to see what they're like in the most important role they'll ever have.

    The bad things ... they don't have as much free time. The kids' needs will always come first (and they most definitely should; but this does often present challenges when it comes to making plans and sticking to them). The ex is always going to be involved in some way, assuming he/she isn't dead and hasn't give up their parental rights.

    I'm not scared off by the fact that a man has kids. I would have to imagine that if I love him, I would love his kids just as much. My main concerns are whether or not he's a good father (granted, definitions of "good" can vary ... for me, "good" means "if I get nothing else in my life right, I will get this right,") and whether or not he keeps his ex under control.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Options
    She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

    To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

    My jimmies status: rustled
    In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.

    There is no defence for a man having to support his ex wife. And laws vary by states, but in most states day care is in addition to child support. The state determines how much they expect the parents to be spending on the kids, given their combined incomes (which adds up to a crap ton more than it costs to raise the kids). Then they add up the salary of the man and woman. If the man makes 75% of that total (for example), he is ordered to pay 75% of the total amount the state calculated that they expect the parents to pay. Then AFTER that, day care is split up much the same way.

    The end result is if the dad makes decent money at all, he pays a crap ton more than the kids cost and the mom gets a lifestyle boost at his expense. Luckily for me I have custody, so I am not a victim of this. But that is the way it works.

    Child support does not work that way. I'm VERY familiar with it and through more than one state. I received child support and my fiance pays it.

    And have you not heard of alimony?

    I am very familiar with it as well. And yes, I have heard of alimony. It is a totally bullsh!t concept that should not exist. Luckily, in Alabama, it is VERY rarely ordered.

    You seem bitter.

    I am. I am one of the lucky few dads that did not get screwed over by the system. Simply because I was lucky enough to be able to get my ex wife convicted of a couple serious crimes she commited. But a system that is set up to screw me over makes me quite bitter. And those like your friend who game the system...well, I won't mention what they actually deserve.

    The system isn't rigged to screw you over. I've had numerous guys ask me how they could get custody, but they screw it up every single time. First step is to not leave the family home and/or let mom walk all over you, no matter how "society" says custody/divorce/breakups are supposed to work. Not buying it, sorry.

    And alimony can be legit - say you married someone who didn't speak English, or has a disability. Grow up.