Single Moms, not worth dating? Do tell...

heylookitsval

Single dads are hot.

Fridaklo77

I think some people may be confused.

You can be lazy, a gold digger, and/or a loser with or without children.

You can also be an awesome, responsible, hardworking person without drama...with or without children.

As for me personally, when I was dating I would not have dated a person with kids because I am very very serious about remaining childfree for life. When I met a guy with kids I automatically considered him off limits because I think being a stepparent is a very serious commitment and while it may not be the same thing as being an actual parent, it's WAY too close for me...even in a situation where the child did not live in the same household.

No, I don't hate kids. I just chose my lifestyle very carefully and with good reason. Being a parent or quasi parent is not for me.

I agree - as long as one is true to oneself, its all good.

LankyYankee

Perhaps I should clarify... Not speaking of myself specifically, anyone who held that opinion would obviously not be a person I would be interested in seeing on any level.

I'm occasionally offended by the assumptions/comments made about single parents and was interested to know the thoughts behind them.

So for those replies, thanks! :flowerforyou:

IPAkiller

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.

Finding a single mother with her *kitten* together is the hard part. The other hard part is finding a single mother who is so by action and not just definition. I have dated quite a few "single mothers" and 80% of them treated their children as little more than an inconvenience in life, an accessory and/or a source of income. However, when a real man finds a woman who truly lives her child(ren) and has her *kitten* together, he will hold on tight.

jwdieter

Children are a big deal.

rml_16

I had a guy tell me once that he was extremely turned on by the fact that I had never had kids and that my lady parts are still "in tact" for better sex. We don't talk anymore. :noway:

Did he live in Texas?

tehboxingkitteh

I only date single moms.

SonicDeathMonkey80

As a single dad w/custody, I could never date a single mom. But my reasons revolve around how my son and I are, and I don't feel like I could give another person's kid(s) what they would need as long as my son is in my life full time. However, try telling single moms in the dating scene that, and they go batsh!t (been there, done that, been called an hypocrite/a-hole a few times until I just said it isn't worth it). It takes a special kind of person to date someone with kids, so don't take it personally.

Some_Watery_Tart

I only date single moms.

In.

leftyjace

Tough subject.
I'm hesitant and guarded where kids are involved from now on.

whitebalance

Being a single mom made me grow up. I attribute pretty much all the best things about me to that. Including the independence and confidence to not give a rat's @ss about anyone not wanting to date single moms.

chelstakencharge

As a soon to be divorced mom of 2, I am not looking for a man to take care of me and my kids....I can do that all on my own. That is a proven fact. When and if the right man comes along he will have to love my kids and treat them right because their own dad doesn't. The fact is for the most part of my 15 year marriage I was a single mom anyway because that piece of crap did not help me.

Iron_Lotus

I was widowed with 4 kids and had zero problems with finding guys who wanted to date me. I made it very clear to any potential BF that I was not looking for anyone to take care of me or my kids as I did that all on my own. If I were to date them it would simply to have someone for me. I have since remarried and had twins

djeffreys10

Honestly, any reason to not want to date someone is a perfectly valid reason. If someone doesn't want to date me because I am a single dad, that is their perogative. Just as valid as them not finding me attractive, or not having any common interests, etc. I have heard of some women being offended by guys not wanted to date them because they have kids, and I just don't get it. A guy is allowed to want whatever it is he wants. If that is someone without kids, so be it. I personally will not date someone with more than one baby daddy. Just like I won't date a woman that is overweight. If that offends someone who is thus ruled out, tough *kitten*. I am allowed to want whatever I choose.

erickirb

Since I have been single, until the current one I am seeing, all have been single moms with anywhere from 1-3 kids. I have no issue with dating single moms, though the scheduling can be difficult as I have my son on set days/weekends, and if the schedules don't align, it makes dating very difficult.

Some_Watery_Tart

Been seeing a lot of these kinds of comments in the forums lately. Frankly as a single mom with her *kitten* together I find this offensive as hell...

No worth having a relationship with a single mom because:

a) She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket?
b) just wants a new daddy for the kids
c) The kids are a pain
d) She will have too much drama and not enough time for you?

Have seen comments along those lines... Is this seriously the prevailing school of thought? Genuinely interested to hear your responses.

Finding a single mother with her *kitten* together is the hard part. The other hard part is finding a single mother who is so by action and not just definition. I have dated quite a few "single mothers" and 80% of them treated their children as little more than an inconvenience in life, an accessory and/or a source of income. However, when a real man finds a woman who truly lives her child(ren) and has her *kitten* together, he will hold on tight.

I agree with this. When I was a single mom, I had a really hard time attending those "support groups". They were little more than a bunch of people whining about getting the shaft and sharing tips on how to leech off the system. Of course, there are single and married people with and without children who are this way too.

I was a single mom with her **** together. I chose to only date single dads with their **** together. My dating life was just fine.

_JPunky

The guy I'm seeing now said that he usually won't date single moms. Then he met me and decided that was stupid. lol

I asked him what his reasoning was, because it especially surprised me because he has children of his own and has them about half of the time. He said that he's just seen a lot of single moms have more drama with their exes because they actually HAVE to keep in contact with them.

I told him he was dumb. He agreed and laughed. Guess I'll keep him around for now... :laugh:

Hornsby

Much respect for all the single moms out there....coming from a single dad But I wouldn't be more serious than casual dating with a single mom with kids under like 10 probably. I just don't want to have to deal with it really. Plus, mine is 14 and I am almost "done" so I don't want to start over.

rml_16

I was widowed with 4 kids and had zero problems with finding guys who wanted to date me. I made it very clear to any potential BF that I was not looking for anyone to take care of me or my kids as I did that all on my own. If I were to date them it would simply to have someone for me. I have since remarked and had twins

I have a friend who's been divorced twice, has two kids from each marriage, one of whom has special needs. She dated like crazy until she met the guy she's married to now. And it seemed like every time she split up with one guy, the next was waiting in the wings because she wold be in a new relationship within a week of splitting from the last guy.

She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

heylookitsval

I don't get why women get so upset about it...if the guy told you he didn't want to date you because you were unattractive or he hated your shoes would that make you feel better? Get over it and move on to the next, there is always going to be someone out there who will want to date you.

odusgolp

Much respect for all the single moms out there....coming from a single dad But I wouldn't be more serious than casual dating with a single mom with kids under like 10 probably. I just don't want to have to deal with it really. Plus, mine is 14 and I am almost "done" so I don't want to start over.

Nothing wrong with that...


To each their own, really.

Will_Thrust_For_Candy

Honestly, any reason to not want to date someone is a perfectly valid reason. If someone doesn't want to date me because I am a single dad, that is their perogative. Just as valid as them not finding me attractive, or not having any common interests, etc. I have heard of some women being offended by guys not wanted to date them because they have kids, and I just don't get it. A guy is allowed to want whatever it is he wants. If that is someone without kids, so be it. I personally will not date someone with more than one baby daddy. Just like I won't date a woman that is overweight. If that offends someone who is thus ruled out, tough *kitten*. I am allowed to want whatever I choose.

Yup, pretty much this. I am a single mom and I can completely understand why a single man without kids would not want to date me. I have dated guys that don't have kids and I have dated guys that have kids. Really it's all about personal preference and what each individual is looking for.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I'm also a single mom and have not had any issues with dating. Maybe try dating dads? That way, they are also parents and also understand what it takes to be a parent.

usmcmp

If a guy thinks that being a single mom is automatic grounds to not pay attention to me that's awesome! Means I don't have to waste time finding out we aren't compatible. Not sure why people let that bother them. It's like getting upset that a guy isn't attracted to you because you aren't blonde. Why would you try to force it on them? They aren't interested let them walk away.

tworthen79

I get it.

It narrows down to preference. Some men like blondes, some like big butts, others love women who are curvy. Same goes for anything you look for in a partner. That's all fine and dandy. I like my husband because he had tattoos, a goatee and awesome shoulders.

I could be judged on my tattoos as a deal breaker. But if that's the case, there's no need for rude comments about the people who you have dismissed (i.e ...She's clearly just looking for a meal ticket? , just wants a new daddy for the kids. The kids are a pain and other stupid judgments) for their lacking of the qualities you desire. Just move on.

mojohowitz

No one has posted this yet?!?!

djeffreys10

She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

My jimmies status: rustled

MM_1982

Some guys would date single mothers, other will not.

Personally, I don't think I would date a single mom. I have little interest in assisting when it comes to taking care of kids. I'm not the "beta provider" type when it comes to another man's children. I also want fun, spontaneity (tough to do if you are scrambling to find a last minute babysitter), and excitement, not little league games and school plays.

I would date a single mother if she was spectacular in other facets of her life (great shape, looks, positive attitude, etc), but other than that, I'll take a pass.

But yeah, your best bet is always going to be single fathers.

miss_jessiejane

I personally only date single moms. The married ones are the ones I avoid.

rml_16

She didn't have a job and lived entirely off of the child support from her exes. And the guys interested in her were pretty quality men, too.

To avoid going on a rage and posting what I think of a woman (and I use that term loosely as an accurate descriptor would just be blocked by the forum censors anyway) that will live of money supplied by her ex and meant for her kids, I will just some it up by saying SHE is what is wrong with the way child support is set up.

My jimmies status: rustled

In her defense, I will say that her kids were preschool aged at the time I was clsoe to her and she didn't have an education or real skills, so any job she got would have paid probably less than daycare would have cost. Part of supporting your kids is making sure they are well taken care of and sometimes the best way to do that is for Mom to be home with them, regardless of the circumstances.