Holy sexism, batman!

1PatientBear

She got catcalled and harassed because she was a woman. Chances are those guys wouldn't have done it to a man. That makes it sexism.

Check out the Twitter account @EverydaySexism for more examples. It's horrifying and disturbing, but it's important that everyone realizes that this still goes on, and it happens no matter how women are dressed or what their posture is. FFS, telling the OP that she wouldn't have been catcalled if she had been standing up straight just feeds into the whole culture that allows this to happen.

Good grief. Those guys wouldn't have done it to a man because those guys were likely straight. However, let's live in your little world for a minute. What if those same guys said the exact same things to a gay man? Would it STILL be sexism??

The need to label everything in today's world really irritates me. As others in this thread have said, the guys catcalling were schmucks, but that doesn't make them sexist. Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a
person's sex. That's not what happened here, no matter how hard you want to try and find it.

dbmata

Earlier tonight: I've had a few glasses of wine. I head to the liquor store 10 mins away at 9:00 pm, alone, but made sure my mum and boyfriend knew what was up just in case.

So you were drunk driving? Everything after that has no credibility. You were drunk and paranoid you'd get popped for what you did, you then took said paranoia and projected it towards men.

That is sexist, but not in the way you're trying to craft the narrative. Please stop drinking and driving.

Um, where did it say she drove a car? It sounds to me like she walked.

That will be the out, for sure. However if you read how it was written, it's apparent that she drove, particularly with telling her boyfriend, and parsing location by time not distance. There are cues there that are really apparent.

Um, I read it with the impression that she walked. Are you trolling or something?

Don't forget, even in happy hug-me, we're all ok land. Spade = spade.

When someone's full Teddy Kennedy, you can't believe everything said. Sadly.

msf74

Have you been drinking?

Woo boy, now THAT was clever. Just... amazingly clever. You, you need a trophy or something.



GFY, YMMV

There's no need to get upset.

It was simply a question.

Please don't drive in the event you have been.

WhoHa42

She got catcalled and harassed because she was a woman. Chances are those guys wouldn't have done it to a man. That makes it sexism.

Check out the Twitter account @EverydaySexism for more examples. It's horrifying and disturbing, but it's important that everyone realizes that this still goes on, and it happens no matter how women are dressed or what their posture is. FFS, telling the OP that she wouldn't have been catcalled if she had been standing up straight just feeds into the whole culture that allows this to happen.

Good grief. Those guys wouldn't have done it to a man because those guys were likely straight. However, let's live in your little world for a minute. What if those same guys said the exact same things to a gay man? Would it STILL be sexism??

The need to label everything in today's world really irritates me. As others in this thread have said, the guys catcalling were schmucks, but that doesn't make them sexist. Sexism or gender discrimination is prejudice or discrimination based on a
person's sex. That's not what happened here, no matter how hard you want to try and find it.

LOL was thinking the exact same example when I posted.

SamanthaD1218

Don't walk with your head down! Head up, show confidence, and hold your keys between your fingers in a fist so you have a weapon in case anyone messes with you. If you are alert and sure of yourself, you are much less likely to be harrassed (let alone attacked). Make eye contact and let everyone you see know that you mean business. A lot of scummy people think they can prey on the weak - it's not about sexism as much as it's about pathetic people wanting to feel powerful.

Jestinia

I...never have this problem. :laugh: No one cares about me or to look at me until they get to know me, then it's only because of my sparkling personality. :blushing:

Instead of hunched shoulders and keeping your eyes averted, I would walk straight ahead, shoulders back, and give them a sharp look. Your body language can sometimes encourage various reactions, depending on how you pull it off.

This is good advice. Walking head down shoulders hunched signals that you might be easy prey and not paying attention to what is going on around you.

LiftAllThePizzas

The fact that a woman can't go about her business in the evening without feeling threatened is a sign that sexism is alive and well. Why would she feel threatened by guys 'just looking' or 'admiring' if there weren't too many men with a habit of harassing and assaulting women? Look up the figures for the proportion of women who have been assaulted anywhere in the world. Of course if we were being entirely logical, the fear should be directed more towards acquaintances, but that's not the way fear and intimidation work.

How come everyone is suggesting self-defence classes/body-language cues for the woman or trying to downplay the guys' demeanour without addressing how to make men socialise with women appropriately without making them fearful for their safety?

It infuriates me that this woman had to tell her mother and boyfriend where she was going just to leave her house. You may claim that she is being oversensitive or fearful but we all know that her reactions are entirely reasonable.

How come no one seems to be saying of the men above: if you'admire' a woman, don't choose one trying to get into her house in the evening in a quiet stairwell, don't cat call, and don't stand there gawking/drooling openly as how is she supposed to work out what your next move may be?

For what it is worth, I am rarely the subject of this kind of behaviour and the few times it has happened I have rarely felt worried about my safety because I am more than capable of looking after myself and handling idiots. Nevertheless, it is still nauseating, degrading and disturbing. There is no sense of self-esteem to be gained from being viewed/treated like a piece of meat.

No one suggested self defense classes. I recommend to EVERYONE that they be situationally aware and walk with confidence. I've taken reports from assault and theft/robbery victims of both sexes that couldn't describe the perpetrator because they were walking around staring at their shoes.

No one has given the pig-acting men any advice because they aren't here posting a thread that says "Hey, guise, how come the drunk chick I catcalled didn't come jump in my lap?" We can't give the OP advice as to how others should act. The fact is people will act the way they will act. Sometimes the way they act is crappy. We can't stop that. We can control how we comport ourselves.

And a dude walking around a crappy neighborhood with that body language will also be harassed by people who think it's ok to verbally assault others.

thatonegirlwiththestuff

Seriously next time, do not walk with your head down, that's almost an open invitation to be leered at/catcalled. I find that pointed eye contact and confidence does wonders for eliminating that issue. If they still don't get it, a slight head shake and dirty look usually kills it. And I agree with the other posters, that's not an issue with sexism, but more offensive and unwanted attention.

Illini_Jim

Earlier tonight: I've had a few glasses of wine. I head to the liquor store 10 mins away at 9:00 pm, alone, but made sure my mum and boyfriend knew what was up just in case.

So you were drunk driving? Everything after that has no credibility. You were drunk and paranoid you'd get popped for what you did, you then took said paranoia and projected it towards men.

That is sexist, but not in the way you're trying to craft the narrative. Please stop drinking and driving.

Um, where did it say she drove a car? It sounds to me like she walked.

That will be the out, for sure. However if you read how it was written, it's apparent that she drove, particularly with telling her boyfriend, and parsing location by time not distance. There are cues there that are really apparent.

Um, I read it with the impression that she walked. Are you trolling or something?

Don't forget, even in happy hug-me, we're all ok land. Spade = spade.

When someone's full Teddy Kennedy, you can't believe everything said. Sadly.

That's lots of anger for one cat.

RllyGudTweetr

She got catcalled and harassed because she was a woman. Chances are those guys wouldn't have done it to a man. That makes it sexism.

I've only ever asked women out on dates. A real motivating factor in that distinction has been their gender; I've never asked a man out on a date with the hope that it becomes a romantic relationship. From the above, it appears that asking only one gender out on a date is sexist. Is that what you meant?

tmauck4472

The truth of the matter is she should be able to walk where she damn well pleases without being harassed by anyone, as well as anyone else out there that wants to walk down the road and mind their own business. But we all know in our society we have those people who seem to think they have the right to harass others, even berate them, even do bodily harm to them. Freedom of speech should NOT lend its self to harassing others for any reason.

I suggest if your going to continue to walk down the street at night alone you learn to protect yourself and carry a weapon of sorts. A GUN would be my first choice, either a stun gun or one that shoots bullets. MS is open carry and honestly when I move I will be purchasing myself a gun and using my right to do so. I'm also going to get the permit to conceal carry. Although at this point I'm not getting any catcalls or even a second look, not sure if I should be thankful or upset....:laugh: Hey I'm old so yeah!!!

... so you'd shoot someone for catcalling you? Seems legit.

Thanks for giving moonbats, idiot libtards, and dems fuel against us gun owners.

"libtards"? What are you, 12?

UMMMM REALLY? A gun to protect herself IF by chance they decide to try something more than just catcalls, good lord. Your statement is something that happens when you ASSume. If she has the means to protect herself against attackers then she may feel a bit safer, even with the catcalls. SMDH

GingerLolita

Street harassment is sexism. Men are the perpetrators and women are the victims in an overwhelming majority of cases. It won't stop until we all recognize this as a problem. It isn't a minor inconvenience; it satisfies men at the expense of women's comfort and feeling of safety.

Catcalling is not equivalent to flirting. When guys catcall, they know they are making you uncomfortable. Many guys have said things to me that would make me never want to date them, and they know this. Many of the men are trying to creep women out, not trying to pick them up.

I live in one of the safest neighborhoods in Brooklyn, so it's not just based on the safety of your neighborhood; in fact, this has happened to me all over Manhattan as well, and I'm usually in relatively safe neighborhoods there as well.

I don't have a car, so that "drinking and driving" comment was clearly made by an ethnocentric suburbanite. Also, women being drunk does not give men the right to harass or rape women. We have just as much of a right to be drunk as men do.

It drives me crazy that, as a feminist, I often change my behavior because I am scared of men who might do something more than harass one day. I've taken a cab to meet my boyfriend at a midnight movie for no other reason than not wanting to be out late alone at night. I won't take a walk when it's dark at night, even if I want the exercise, if I have no reason to, because I know something bad could happen. Yes, I could get a weapon, but that could be turned on me in a confrontation. I try to walk on the busiest streets, and that's all the advice I can really give.

MyChocolateDiet

Earlier tonight: I've had a few glasses of wine. I head to the liquor store 10 mins away at 9:00 pm, alone, but made sure my mum and boyfriend knew what was up just in case.

So you were drunk driving? Everything after that has no credibility. You were drunk and paranoid you'd get popped for what you did, you then took said paranoia and projected it towards men.

That is sexist, but not in the way you're trying to craft the narrative. Please stop drinking and driving.

Have you been drinking?

Please stop drinking and MFPeeing.

WhoHa42

How does this have anything to do with rape? People looked at you lol

LiftAllThePizzas

BTW am I the only one in this thread who realizes that OP is in the UK and that guns are illegal there?

somerisagirlsname

She got catcalled and harassed because she was a woman. Chances are those guys wouldn't have done it to a man. That makes it sexism.

Check out the Twitter account @EverydaySexism for more examples. It's horrifying and disturbing, but it's important that everyone realizes that this still goes on, and it happens no matter how women are dressed or what their posture is. FFS, telling the OP that she wouldn't have been catcalled if she had been standing up straight just feeds into the whole culture that allows this to happen.

Okay. Nobody is saying that she wouldn't have been catcalled if she exuded confidence. What they are saying is in a world where sexism/harassment exists, she could decrease her chances of becoming a victim if she doesn't act like one. This is sound advice and anyone who considers it feeding into a sexist culture is, by association, giving her the go-ahead to walk around with her head down, unaware of her surroundings, looking like a victim.

msf74

BTW am I the only one in this thread who realizes that OP is in the UK and that guns are illegal there?

Are you sure?

No one calls it a "liquor store" over here as far as I know - we call them "Off Licences".

And no one drives 10 minutes to get to a shop....

thesevolatiletimes

The fact that a woman can't go about her business in the evening without feeling threatened is a sign that sexism is alive and well. Why would she feel threatened by guys 'just looking' or 'admiring' if there weren't too many men with a habit of harassing and assaulting women? Look up the figures for the proportion of women who have been assaulted anywhere in the world. Of course if we were being entirely logical, the fear should be directed more towards acquaintances, but that's not the way fear and intimidation work.

How come everyone is suggesting self-defence classes/body-language cues for the woman or trying to downplay the guys' demeanour without addressing how to make men socialise with women appropriately without making them fearful for their safety?

It infuriates me that this woman had to tell her mother and boyfriend where she was going just to leave her house. You may claim that she is being oversensitive or fearful but we all know that her reactions are entirely reasonable.

How come no one seems to be saying of the men above: if you'admire' a woman, don't choose one trying to get into her house in the evening in a quiet stairwell, don't cat call, and don't stand there gawking/drooling openly as how is she supposed to work out what your next move may be?

For what it is worth, I am rarely the subject of this kind of behaviour and the few times it has happened I have rarely felt worried about my safety because I am more than capable of looking after myself and handling idiots. Nevertheless, it is still nauseating, degrading and disturbing. There is no sense of self-esteem to be gained from being viewed/treated like a piece of meat.

THIS.
Anybody claiming that this incident was not based in sexism quite frankly doesn't know what sexism is.

ElliottTN

You should have called the police immediately and pressed charges on them. It was probably rape because they made you feel funny by looking at you when you didn't want then to do that. They should be locked away for at least 15 years for cat calling and 10 years respectively for staring at you.

You should definitely contact your local NOW group and petition that these animals never see the light of day ever again. This war on women where men think they can just look wherever they want in public or say anything they want has got to end. How could we have a free country when those perverts have all those rights. It's definitely rape.

WhoHa42

I've had girls yell out some pretty vulgar stuff to me while they were drunk. Is this sexism or does that only work for women?