Holy sexism, batman!
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Holy assumptions, batman.0
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Men do this to women because they feel that women owe them time and attention simply because they're women. Respectfully approaching a woman and flirting with her is not sexist. Hollering at her on the street is. How many men get harassed on a street, even in a non-sexual way?
I've only ever asked women out on dates. A real motivating factor in that distinction has been their gender; I've never asked a man out on a date with the hope that it becomes a romantic relationship. From the above, it appears that asking only one gender out on a date is sexist. Is that what you meant?She got catcalled and harassed because she was a woman. Chances are those guys wouldn't have done it to a man. That makes it sexism.
I feel like there's a lot of reasons a guy would yell out to a girl walking down the street lol
And you really think men don't get harassed? pls go0 -
Sounds like you live amongst perverts... No one (in my opinion) is ever up to any good if they are outside at 9pm just standing around.. You're a smart woman to have let your family know where you were going and to lock your doors when you got home.. No matter what your stance was, they were too drunk to not give you ****.
I thought the rule was nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m. Now it's been reduced to 9:00 p.m.????? :grumble: :grumble: :grumble:
HM? My dad always said midnight. Turned out he was right!0 -
It probably depends on the catcalling. "Hey, sexy!" is not nearly as threatening as "Come over here, b*tch, I'm gonna make you suck my c*ck." Both of which have been yelled at me, by the way. The first was uncomfortable but not so scary, the second one made me legitimately afraid.Never will understand why people get offended that others find them attractive. Seriously, say thank you, and be happy that you look hot!
I would make a terrible offended feminist. Catcalling? I smile and wave
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Not going to start a relationship over it, but no, I don't get offended if someone whistles at me. And the double standards on the topic are kind of crazy too. I've seen so many women who drool over hot guys, no one bats an eyelash.0
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Sounds like you live amongst perverts... No one (in my opinion) is ever up to any good if they are outside at 9pm just standing around.. You're a smart woman to have let your family know where you were going and to lock your doors when you got home.. No matter what your stance was, they were too drunk to not give you ****.
I thought the rule was nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m. Now it's been reduced to 9:00 p.m.????? :grumble: :grumble: :grumble:
LOL Yep... the acceptable times for catcalls, gentlemen, is between 3pm and 6pm0 -
Let's be honest; you don't have to be at your goal weight to get attention. You don't need to have a Baywatch bod to turn heads. You don't even need to be looking for attention to get it.
Earlier tonight: I've had a few glasses of wine. I head to the liquor store 10 mins away at 9:00 pm, alone, but made sure my mum and boyfriend knew what was up just in case. Everything's great until I get home, and on the walkway to the building is some guy. No big deal. Across the way on the grass is another guy. Now it's kindof a deal. But still, head down, keep marching, and don't look like you're asking for trouble, right? Wrong. Catcalling. Not flattering. I never pull the door closed on anyone, but tonight I made an exception, both for the outer and inner (key access only) doors. Once I'm in, two inebriated guys come out of the elevator. No catcalls, just uncomfortable looks. You know the kind when you're coveting a fancy dress or plate of food? Not the look anyone is supposed to give a stranger. I walk in a wide arc around, then get in the elevator and lay on the "close doors" button, just in case. My heart doesn't stop pounding until I'm behind the locked door of my apartment, and even then, I keep an ear out just in case anyone saw my floor from the lobby.
Say what you want. Say sexism is a myth, and feminism is redundant because women have no reason to feel marginalized. If you can't feel safe walking around your own home, there's a problem.
Not looking for pity or attention, just a little positive support.
The head down & marching on isn't a recommended approach dear.. Head up & look confident. That'll keep practically all the creepers away.0 -
Ian: Ah, SH1T. They are not gonna release the album...because they have decided that the cover is sexist.
Nigel: Well so what? What's wrong with being sexy? I mean there's no....
Ian: Sex-ist.
David: -ist, not sexy.0 -
It probably depends on the catcalling. "Hey, sexy!" is not nearly as threatening as "Come over here, b*tch, I'm gonna make you suck my c*ck." Both of which have been yelled at me, by the way. The first was uncomfortable but not so scary, the second one made me legitimately afraid.Never will understand why people get offended that others find them attractive. Seriously, say thank you, and be happy that you look hot!
I would make a terrible offended feminist. Catcalling? I smile and wave
That was not mentioned in the OP. There is a difference. And yes, one is quite intimidating.0 -
It probably depends on the catcalling. "Hey, sexy!" is not nearly as threatening as "Come over here, b*tch, I'm gonna make you suck my c*ck." Both of which have been yelled at me, by the way. The first was uncomfortable but not so scary, the second one made me legitimately afraid.Never will understand why people get offended that others find them attractive. Seriously, say thank you, and be happy that you look hot!
I would make a terrible offended feminist. Catcalling? I smile and wave
Agreed, I was just thinking in order for this thread to proceed in anything resembling helpful or cogent we are now in need of either a precise definition of "catcalling" to debunk or support OP, or better yet, the precise language used by both sets of inebriated men. (Which, by the way, has me concluding OP lives in a neighborhood that should not be walked alone at night at any time 9pm 2am or midnight by man or woman or chupacabra.)0 -
I can understand the cat calls being annoying. The guys that catcalled didn't have the best execution. Catcalling doesn't work. Also, OP was not specific as to what the catcalls actually were. That's key information.
Also, two guys walked past her. Many times two guys have walked past me and I've felt weird. This is not a big deal.
I would not mind a night that involved some ladies in the immediate vicinity of my place leering at me, so long as they are good looking ladies.
Catcalling in the middle of the day on a busy street = annoying.
Catcalling at night when woman is alone in a deserted place = threatening.
Normally I don't call ppl on my friends list out, but in this case I'm gonna have to tell you to pull your head out of your butt.0 -
It probably depends on the catcalling. "Hey, sexy!" is not nearly as threatening as "Come over here, b*tch, I'm gonna make you suck my c*ck." Both of which have been yelled at me, by the way. The first was uncomfortable but not so scary, the second one made me legitimately afraid.Never will understand why people get offended that others find them attractive. Seriously, say thank you, and be happy that you look hot!
I would make a terrible offended feminist. Catcalling? I smile and wave
Lol I don't think the 2nd one would be considered catcalling0 -
Seriously next time, do not walk with your head down, that's almost an open invitation to be leered at/catcalled. I find that pointed eye contact and confidence does wonders for eliminating that issue. If they still don't get it, a slight head shake and dirty look usually kills it. And I agree with the other posters, that's not an issue with sexism, but more offensive and unwanted attention.
Forgot to add just kick them in the groin before they have the chance to catcall you. That will show them and all other men that they better not cat call anyone cause they might get assaulted for it.
In fact, all women should just kick any guy in the groin when they see them because its possible catcalling will ensure. And its not assault, just label it cat call-prevention. That seems like the logical thing to do at this point in the thread.0 -
And you really think men don't get harassed? pls go
You're right. They do.
However, given the vastly different rates of sexual assaults that happen to women and men it seems like that women will be more psychologically wary or intimidated in this type of scenario surely? The playing field is not exactly level here in terms of threat level or assessing threat.0 -
=(Which, by the way, has me concluding OP lives in a neighborhood that should not be walked alone at night at any time 9pm 2am or midnight by man or woman or chupacabra.)
What if you are a woman walking WITH your chupacabra at 8:59?0 -
I've seen so many women who drool over hot guys, no one bats an eyelash.
This for me - so the diet coke advert was sexist? No, it was just an advert about women finding a man attractive.
Sexism is preferring a man over a woman for a job or something, or a women-only car insurance company, not shouting out because you found someone attractive - that's just reading far too much into it for me.0 -
I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.0 -
And you really think men don't get harassed? pls go
You're right. They do.
However, given the vastly different rates of sexual assaults that happen to women and men it seems like that women will be more psychologically wary or intimidated in this type of scenario surely? The playing field is not exactly level here in terms of threat level or assessing threat.
They get harassed in different ways. Instead of being sexual, it's more about intimidation. I don't think anyone has real numbers on how often either group is harassed, so you can't really say it happens to on more than the other. But yeah, I understand women being more wary of it, but some women take it too far. Having a drunk guy look at you is harassment now? Please...0 -
I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.
I don't think anyone here is saying what the guys outside the building did was right. But calling it sexist is getting out of hand lol0 -
BTW am I the only one in this thread who realizes that OP is in the UK and that guns are illegal there?
Okay then take a class on protecting yourself against an attacker. The WHOLE point was to make herself feel safe walking down the damn street. Catcalls don't hurt, they may be uncomfortable at times but it's just talk, but under certain circumstances it can be scary.
And under other circumstances it can be a preview of what they plan. The possibility of the "guys" being drunk is NOT comforting since booze gives you courage you don't have otherwise and even some get really evil with the drink in them. It can also make you more paranoid and may have been her issue to begin with.0 -
Are you typing those "lol"s reflexively? Or do you really think this topic is funny?I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.
I don't think anyone here is saying what the guys outside the building did was right. But calling it sexist is getting out of hand lol0 -
I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.
Do I look at women in public? Of course. I find women attractive and like to look at them. Could it be considered "leering" at them? I don't think so...I'm not even sure how to leer if I were to try. However, I guess a woman might take it that way if she wanted to.
As for catcalls, I'm not that guy. If I want to talk to a woman, I talk to her like a person. I like women, I respect them and I treat them accordingly. I don't have friends who do that either because, frankly, it's stupid. And if they did do that, I would absolutely call them out.
However, I objectify the heck out of my female friends (just ask the ones on here; they'll tell you) and they do it back. It's flirting and it's fun. I understand the fear that could come with unknown attention, especially if it's nighttime and you are alone. I just don't think it's fair to the rest of us to automatically call it sexism and assume that all guys are like that. It just ain't true.0 -
Are you typing those "lol"s reflexively? Or do you really think this topic is funny?I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.
I don't think anyone here is saying what the guys outside the building did was right. But calling it sexist is getting out of hand lol
I honestly think a lot of the responses in this thread are funny because of how delusional people are.0 -
I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.
Do I look at women in public? Of course. I find women attractive and like to look at them. Could it be considered "leering" at them? I don't think so...I'm not even sure how to leer if I were to try. However, I guess a woman might take it that way if she wanted to.
As for catcalls, I'm not that guy. If I want to talk to a woman, I talk to her like a person. I like women, I respect them and I treat them accordingly. I don't have friends who do that either because, frankly, it's stupid. And if they did do that, I would absolutely call them out.
However, I objectify the heck out of my female friends (just ask the ones on here; they'll tell you) and they do it back. It's flirting and it's fun. I understand the fear that could come with unknown attention, especially if it's nighttime and you are alone. I just don't think it's fair to the rest of us to automatically call it sexism and assume that all guys are like that. It just ain't true.
*wolf whistle*
Sorry, couldn't resist0 -
I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.
Do I look at women in public? Of course. I find women attractive and like to look at them. Could it be considered "leering" at them? I don't think so...I'm not even sure how to leer if I were to try. However, I guess a woman might take it that way if she wanted to.
As for catcalls, I'm not that guy. If I want to talk to a woman, I talk to her like a person. I like women, I respect them and I treat them accordingly. I don't have friends who do that either because, frankly, it's stupid. And if they did do that, I would absolutely call them out.
However, I objectify the heck out of my female friends (just ask the ones on here; they'll tell you) and they do it back. It's flirting and it's fun. I understand the fear that could come with unknown attention, especially if it's nighttime and you are alone. I just don't think it's fair to the rest of us to automatically call it sexism and assume that all guys are like that. It just ain't true.
*wolf whistle*
Sorry, couldn't resist
How YOU doin babe? :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :devil:0 -
I think one reason why the guys aren't getting it is because a lot of women have had an experience where a guy yelled at them, they ignored it, and it escalated. Even if a guy yells something as benign as "Hey, sexy" at you, when you know that if you ignore it they might start calling you worse names and get up in your face demanding why you won't talk to them, it can be scary.
It bothers me that so many men here don't see why this is a problem, but I hope at the very least you don't catcall or leer at women in public and call out friends who do it.
correction... *kitten* and scumbags make catcalls. men don't. this thread should be about sexist *kitten* and scumbags, not men.
we hate the *kitten* and scumbags as much as women do. and yes, i do speak for all men in this regard.0 -
Given the frequent claims that sexual assaults are under-reported, how are you measuring rates? Now, how are you measuring rates of assaults that don't have an obvious sexual component, given those same claims of under-reporting?
And you really think men don't get harassed? pls go
You're right. They do.
However, given the vastly different rates of sexual assaults that happen to women and men it seems like that women will be more psychologically wary or intimidated in this type of scenario surely? The playing field is not exactly level here in terms of threat level or assessing threat.0 -
They get harassed in different ways. Instead of being sexual, it's more about intimidation. I don't think anyone has real numbers on how often either group is harassed, so you can't really say it happens to on more than the other. But yeah, I understand women being more wary of it, but some women take it too far. Having a drunk guy look at you is harassment now? Please...
I think the drunk guys looking at her occurred after the cat calling and therefore she already was in "fight or flight" mode. I presume, although I don't know, she wouldn't have really made an issue about it if that's all there was.
I don't know about where you are but IIRC the crime stats clearly show a much, much greater incidence of sexual assault against women by men then vice versa. It's true men might not be reporting the same but I doubt it. As such women are bound to be more sensitive to this type of issue and I feel they have every right to be.
Harassment on the other hand I think you're right. No reliable stats on that to my knowledge.0 -
Not sexism, the end.0
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<---- Most likely to be guilty of being appreciative of great abs. And verbalizing it.0
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