What's the purpose of marriage?

afat12

Marriage isn't for anyone. Neither is having kids. Or going to college. Or a long list of other things that some people think everyone should do. Seems that if you aren't in a serious relationship at this point, but you are already concerned about divorce, then marriage shouldn't be on your plate at any time.

Nicely said.

b3st

Your wife will be a lucky girl...Lmfao

miss_jessiejane

shutyourpieholeandsquat

OP just kinda sounds bitter and I'm not even one of those "OMG I've gotta get married" people.

wolfsbayne

In my case, since I am not religious, the purpose of our Marriage was to declare the commitment to the person I expect to spend the rest of my life with.

It's just a ceremony and means different things to different people. Every person is different and every couple interprets marriage differently. If you are entering a relationship with the thought that it isn't forever, or if you feel like you need to protect your future earnings or current worth, then marriage probably isn't for you.

As for jewelry, that is a personal thing too. My wife loves things that refract light, so we picked out her ring together. I don't wear jewelry myself, other than a wrist watch, so I don't wear a wedding ring. My wife's name is tatooed on my ring finger.

If you have doubts, don't get married. If you are worried about how your mate could take your money from you after the marriage is over, don't get married.

I knew my wife was the one after our first date. I proposed to her on our second date. We've been together for 25 years and married for 21 years. If I had it to do all over again, I would do it a little differently. I would ask her to marry me on our first date.

If you have to analyze why marriage might be the right choice for you or weigh the consequences, don't do it.

I love this story. My fiance and I were the same way. Although, he didn't propose on the second date. I walked away from our first date saying "I'm going to marry that man." He told me on our second date "Did you know I'm going to be your husband?" lol

DamePiglet

Before the age of modern religion, men and women existed in harmony for tens of thousands of years.

Really?
I'm interested in finding out more about the "harmony" from a pre-religion woman's point of view.
I'm pretty sure rape has been around forever.

tigersword

Before the age of modern religion, men and women existed in harmony for tens of thousands of years.

Marriages have existed long before modern religion.

I don't think so. Humans have been in our current form for nearly 100,000 years (according to scientist). Modern religions like Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity date back about 8,000 years, though Christianity is the "new kid on block" and hasn't been around that long.

Regardless, men and women have been having kids and spending time together for well over 90,000 years before modern religion.

Note: not starting a religious/evolution/whatever debate. I only care about finding a couple decent reasons why someone should marry.

Humans were marrying each other long before those modern religions. Marriage was an economic pact, long before it had any religious tendencies. It was part of trade. A man would trade his daughter to a suitor in exchange for property, as well as marriages being arranged to join different clans together for added strength against common enemies.

The religious aspect of marriage is far more recent, only the last few hundred years, really.

smoootka

My parents are divorced. It's weird that an adult get's alimony there. Here in Slovenia that's the case only when there are children involved - as far as I know. That makes sense to me. But an adult having to give money to an adult after the divorce??.. Weird. Half of what WE own is yours and half is mine, but what i make after we're divorced doesn't concern you.

I don't see a purpose to marriage, really, only that it makes life easier in certain situations (hospitals etc). I never wanted to get married and I don't think I will. I trust my man and that's what matters. A piece of paper won't change our relationship in any significant way. IMO. Leaving my options open, maybe some day I will change my mind.

walleyclan1

Sorry, but I have to say if you are asking these questions you are not with or met the right person yet.

Maybe you're right. I haven't found someone I like more than half of all my possessions!

Sounds like your problem is with divorce, not marriage

wolverine66

i didn't read all the responses, so if I repeat what someone else has said, then forgive me.

if you don't see a purpose, don't get married. it makes no difference to me.

mister_universe

Sorry, but I have to say if you are asking these questions you are not with or met the right person yet.

Maybe you're right. I haven't found someone I like more than half of all my possessions!

Sounds like your problem is with divorce, not marriage

Heh.

Iceberg_Simpson

i didn't read all the responses, so if I repeat what someone else has said, then forgive me.

if you don't see a purpose, don't get married. it makes no difference to me.

100% Agree. Nobody said that you have to do it, so why do you care?

Jestinia

If a man wants to be so involved in my life that his comings, goings, goals, and random musings might at some point disrupt it, he's at least going to have to promise to spend the entirely of it with me. That way, if he screws things up for me, he's stuck with the consequences, too. For everything else, there's casual dating and living separately.

eric_sg61

Before the age of modern religion, men and women existed in harmony for tens of thousands of years.

Marriages have existed long before modern religion.

I don't think so. Humans have been in our current form for nearly 100,000 years (according to scientist). Modern religions like Buddhism, Hinduism, and Christianity date back about 8,000 years, though Christianity is the "new kid on block" and hasn't been around that long.

Regardless, men and women have been having kids and spending time together for well over 90,000 years before modern religion.

Note: not starting a religious/evolution/whatever debate. I only care about finding a couple decent reasons why someone should marry.

Humans were marrying each other long before those modern religions. Marriage was an economic pact, long before it had any religious tendencies. It was part of trade. A man would trade his daughter to a suitor in exchange for property, as well as marriages being arranged to join different clans together for added strength against common enemies.

The religious aspect of marriage is far more recent, only the last few hundred years, really.

Also, dowry has possibly existed before recorded history.

DamePiglet

My parents are divorced. It's weird that an adult get's alimony there. Here in Slovenia that's the case only when there are children involved - as far as I know. That makes sense to me. But an adult having to give money to an adult after the divorce??.. Weird. Half of what WE own is yours and half is mine, but what i make after we're divorced doesn't concern you.

I don't see a purpose to marriage, really, only that it makes life easier in certain situations (hospitals etc). I never wanted to get married and I don't think I will. I trust my man and that's what matters. A piece of paper won't change our relationship in any significant way. IMO. Leaving my options open, maybe some day I will change my mind.

It's not just a piece of paper, it's a legally binding contract.
As people get older, the little things - having power of attorney to carry out their spouse's wishes and being entitled to the spouse's insurance, being able to continue to live in their home, etc. become much more important.

Until you have experienced those kinds of things, it may seem like just a piece of paper, but in reality, it's much more.

DMZ_1

My good friend recently got divorced from his wife of 4 years and he had to pay alimony. He agreed to pays $2,000/month for 1 year. Thankfully, they had no kids together. It always seems that a well educated man (or woman) who makes a decent amount of money always has a lot to lose if the marriage goes south.

I look at this and I see a flawed legal system surrounding marriage. Granted, it will only be a short term setback for your friend, but it stinks for him. Here's a guy, who is divorced, and he has to lose $24,000 for a reason that isn't entirely clear to me. As a newly divorced guy, he needs to get out there and find a new girl. Those $24,000 would really help him in setting the course for his future.

This is why I said earlier "I don't think marriage is the problem. Individually and collectively, I believe we are the problem". In that marriage, one or both parties is to blame. At least one of them didn't take their vows seriously. And the legal system hurt him.

WhoIsAmber

I didn't read all of the thread, just saying.

There isn't much of a point to marriage, besides being able to say you're legally a couple... and being able to put one or the other on your insurance, accepting responsibility for them and their health, you know? And if ever your significant other gets really sick, you have a say in what happens in a hospital. If you weren't married, you would have no decision in what happens to the person you love, but maybe it'd be in the hands of a relative who doesn't care what you think or what happens to them.

If you ever make a significant amount of money, you should consider a prenuptial agreement, if that's a deal breaker for your partner, then you already know why they were in the relationship to start with.

DamePiglet

This whole thread is dumb.
It might have well have been:
"a friend of mine got terrible blisters from wearing a pair of shoes. Why do we even wear shoes? People existed before shoes and they were just fine. So besides protecting our feet, give me reasons why we should wear shoes so I can ignore them."

:laugh:

RllyGudTweetr

I forget the correct attribution of this joke:

Marriage is an arrangement between two people, whereby one person gives up freedom in exchange for the other person giving up sex.

MityMax96

I forget the correct attribution of this joke:

Marriage is an arrangement between two people, whereby one person gives up freedom in exchange for the other person giving up sex.

yeah, that.