What's the purpose of marriage?
Replies
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I have no idea what this gif has to do with marriage...
geared more to the replys that this type of thread tends to generate0 -
to suck the soul out of you .....actually i dont know ive never been married......if its anything like dating i want no part of it...jsut sex me and leave0
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Keeps them happy for 5 minutes doesn't it?0
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Marriage allows the rest of society to know the difference between two people who are just having sex, or living under the same roof, and two people who have committed to each other.
For example, Mary has tons of money and John is poor. John and Mary get 'together' and a few years later Mary dies unexpectedly. Who gets Mary's stuff? How does a court know the difference between a freeloader squatting in her house and someone she wanted to share her life with?
Or, Mary wants to put John on her family health insurance plan. How does that work if they're not in any way recognized by anyone other than themselves? And if so, what prevents Mary from adding 50 other people as "family" or (whatever) on her insurance coverage?
I'm sure there are other examples, but the theme here is that it's not anything that changes between the participants in the relationship, but how the outside world is able to recognize and respond to that relationship.0 -
Ultimately, I think you can still have someone to grow old with, spend time with, have a connection with, have kids with, etc, without getting married. Which is what I've stated a handful of times already.
The one poster made a good point that marriage serves as a deterrent from getting divorced if your marriage is up and down (though the divorce rate still hovers around 50%).
I also think people are less likely to call it quits early on and would try to work things out if they realize they have a lot to lose financially in a divorce.
Most people are aware of the risk that they are taking when they decide to marry someone, and are perfectly willing to assume that risk anyway, or take precautions to avoid the risk.
Truly, no one should have to convince you to get married. If you don't think there is anyone worth taking a risk on, then, please by all means... stay single!0 -
Marriage allows the rest of society to know the difference between two people who are just having sex, or living under the same roof, and two people who have committed to each other.
For example, Mary has tons of money and John is poor. John and Mary get 'together' and a few years later Mary dies unexpectedly. Who gets Mary's stuff? How does a court know the difference between a freeloader squatting in her house and someone she wanted to share her life with?
Or, Mary wants to put John on her family health insurance plan. How does that work if they're not in any way recognized by anyone other than themselves? And if so, what prevents Mary from adding 50 other people as "family" or (whatever) on her insurance coverage?
I'm sure there are other examples, but the theme here is that it's not anything that changes between the participants in the relationship, but how the outside world is able to recognize and respond to that relationship.
If Mary has tons of money, couldn't she have a lawyer draw up a directive about her estate and who gets her money (John) when she dies even without getting married?
Marriage and insurance is a tricky issue. Why are the two inextricably linked?
Is it the outside world's business what goes on in two people's private lives?
All good questions, and all worth exploring in depth.0 -
Marriage allows the rest of society to know the difference between two people who are just having sex, or living under the same roof, and two people who have committed to each other.
For example, Mary has tons of money and John is poor. John and Mary get 'together' and a few years later Mary dies unexpectedly. Who gets Mary's stuff? How does a court know the difference between a freeloader squatting in her house and someone she wanted to share her life with?
Or, Mary wants to put John on her family health insurance plan. How does that work if they're not in any way recognized by anyone other than themselves? And if so, what prevents Mary from adding 50 other people as "family" or (whatever) on her insurance coverage?
I'm sure there are other examples, but the theme here is that it's not anything that changes between the participants in the relationship, but how the outside world is able to recognize and respond to that relationship.
If Mary has tons of money, couldn't she have a lawyer draw up a directive about her estate and who gets her money (John) when she dies even without getting married?
Marriage and insurance is a tricky issue. Why are the two inextricably linked?
Is it the outside world's business what goes on in two people's private lives?
All good questions, and all worth exploring in depth.
Actually, if Mary has relatives that want Mary's money and doesn't want John to have any of it, then the will could be contested, and the assets could be frozen for a very long time. Marriage pretty much cements not only Mary's wishes, but legal recognition of John's right to her assets as a family member.0 -
I married my best friend, my partner in crime. Why? Because I want him in my life until the day one of us dies. And the sex is phenomenal. We barely discussed it, and his proposal doesn't fully count (during sex! LOL!), but I cannot imagine not coming home every day and him not being there.
Seriously, if you have to ask this question, then you have yet to find the right partner. I hope someday you do, because when it's right, it's amazing.0 -
I suspect you don't actually want to know and are just starting a flame war.
right. for those of us that are happily married, it's more of a commitment to the one we love than just living together. we can legally help each other, instead of just in name. I love my husband. i would have lived with him and not married him, if that's what he really wanted. but i wanted the official name and documents to show we made that commitment to each other. for those that don't take it seriously and just get divorced without trying every other possible avenue to get it to work, i say you took the easy way out and just don't get involved that seriously again. because you divorce once for stupid reasons, you will divorce a 2nd time for stupid reasons.
BTW, nobody ever said marriage is easy, but it is wonderful when you have that person you can count on to spend his/her life with you.0 -
Ultimately, I think you can still have someone to grow old with, spend time with, have a connection with, have kids with, etc, without getting married. Which is what I've stated a handful of times already.
The one poster made a good point that marriage serves as a deterrent from getting divorced if your marriage is up and down (though the divorce rate still hovers around 50%).
I also think people are less likely to call it quits early on and would try to work things out if they realize they have a lot to lose financially in a divorce.
LIFE is up and down, sometimes it effects the marriage.
My husband and I don't fight, we've been married for 20 years. We didn't fight before, either. Honestly, we've just grown closer through the years. However, there were times when I was bored/tired/stressed with being home with the kids (when they were small) and misinterpreted it as being unhappy in my marriage. Really, I just needed to increase my social life and activities and it solved the problem. It was about 17 years ago at this point, so early on. However, if I weren't married, and it would have been easier to get out of the relationship because of that I may have done it. Well, probably.
There are marriages that need to end. No question. Mine wasn't one of them (thankfully) and the fact that we were married forced me to slow down and really really dig to find out why I was unhappy, instead of seeing the tension in the marriage as the problem when in fact it was just a symptom. Not everyone needs that. I did, my mother said that at one point she did (early on), so among other things it did serve that purpose. However, results may vary and all that jazz.0 -
Dear Mike--boy do I feel sorry for you. You're missing the magic, my man--it's the magic that makes us do it. Sex is ho-hum without it and anyone who has felt "the magic" won't let go. Married 27 years.0
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Ultimately, I think you can still have someone to grow old with, spend time with, have a connection with, have kids with, etc, without getting married. Which is what I've stated a handful of times already.
The one poster made a good point that marriage serves as a deterrent from getting divorced if your marriage is up and down (though the divorce rate still hovers around 50%).
I also think people are less likely to call it quits early on and would try to work things out if they realize they have a lot to lose financially in a divorce.
I think there is a self-imposed stigma when someone chooses to buck convention. I do not think everyone should get married just like I don't think everyone should have kids.
I have a gentleman friend who told me more than a decade ago that he never wanted to get married. He was always upfront with any woman that he dated so they knew that marriage was not on the table...ever. And now he's in his 40's and happy. He travels on a whim, he is invited over to dinners with his friends and regales stories of his single status, and he's the single guy at the BBQ and other functions. There is no problem. He is happy and as his friend we are happy for him.
Maybe you don't see yourself with one person for the rest of your life, maybe you think marriage is dumb...whatever. Just do what makes you happy and don't worry about anyone else.
In terms of shared equity and issues of legal matters between unmarried individuals, there are ways to deal with it. Sometimes it's tricky and depending on the situation not always completely fair but if someone plans accordingly it's just details in the end (I worked for an estate lawyer for almost a decade).0 -
Because it's a lot harder for someone to leave you when you're married. Also, when you marry someone they become your possession so you can stop trying to impress them to make them yours.
So much wrong with this statement0 -
I'm a married Atheist. I wanted to be bonded with my husband for life. And unlike most married couples, we did it the smart way. We went down to the county clerk's office and got married with just the two of us and a friend. The overall cost(including train tickets) was barely 100 bucks. So we didn't enter our marriage in debt.0
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I'm a married Atheist. I wanted to be bonded with my husband for life. And unlike most married couples, we did it the smart way. We went down to the county clerk's office and got married with just the two of us and a friend. The overall cost(including train tickets) was barely 100 bucks. So we didn't enter our marriage in debt.
damn i thought we where the only ones that did it that way!0 -
I'm a married Atheist. I wanted to be bonded with my husband for life. And unlike most married couples, we did it the smart way. We went down to the county clerk's office and got married with just the two of us and a friend. The overall cost(including train tickets) was barely 100 bucks. So we didn't enter our marriage in debt.
damn i thought we where the only ones that did it that way!
Nope! Good to know that others do it the smarter way. There was an article recently written that said it's the smarter way to get married.0 -
I'm a married Atheist. I wanted to be bonded with my husband for life. And unlike most married couples, we did it the smart way. We went down to the county clerk's office and got married with just the two of us and a friend. The overall cost(including train tickets) was barely 100 bucks. So we didn't enter our marriage in debt.
damn i thought we where the only ones that did it that way!
Nope! Good to know that others do it the smarter way. There was an article recently written that said it's the smarter way to get married.
There was also an article written recently saying that you should eat your boogers. You should get on that one as well.0 -
Ultimately, I think you can still have someone to grow old with, spend time with, have a connection with, have kids with, etc, without getting married. Which is what I've stated a handful of times already.
The one poster made a good point that marriage serves as a deterrent from getting divorced if your marriage is up and down (though the divorce rate still hovers around 50%).
I also think people are less likely to call it quits early on and would try to work things out if they realize they have a lot to lose financially in a divorce.
Marriage isn't right for everyone. If this is your plan, be sure that your state doesn't implement common law marriages. Or, should ya'll seperate after so many years of cohabitation, you will still go through the same hoops as any other marriage should one party or the other party decide to take you to court.
Besides, haven't you heard of the case in GA where the court stated that the guy owes his fiance $50,000?
Edit: Left out a very important doesn't... lol...0 -
to suck the soul out of you .....actually i dont know ive never been married......if its anything like dating i want no part of it...jsut sex me and leave
Look out ladies.....THIS IS A WINNER!0 -
The point of marriage is so that people can charge double for sub-standard products and services just because the wedding is supposedly a special occasion.
Ka-ching!0 -
there is no purpose
just to sleep with one person.
pretty dull,
There's the very common misconception that sleeping with only one person is boring. Puh-leeeeeeease! A couple who has spent years together has had time to learn what pleases their partner. It's anything but boring to have the same partner over a span of years. Unless you think it's exciting to play russian roulette and hope your latest partner didn't leave you with an STD.0 -
^^^I'll second that!!!0
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To be honest, I did not want to be married- but then I met the one man I truly could not live without....marriage is the best thing I have ever done.....but, that is just me.
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Weak people struggle against love for their own selfish reasons. Marriage can be made into anything, you get out of it what you put into it.0
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Weak people struggle against love for their own selfish reasons. Marriage can be made into anything, you get out of it what you put into it.
Comments like this deserve a "like" button. :drinker:0 -
I'm a married Atheist. I wanted to be bonded with my husband for life. And unlike most married couples, we did it the smart way. We went down to the county clerk's office and got married with just the two of us and a friend. The overall cost(including train tickets) was barely 100 bucks. So we didn't enter our marriage in debt.
damn i thought we where the only ones that did it that way!
Nope! Good to know that others do it the smarter way. There was an article recently written that said it's the smarter way to get married.
There was also an article written recently saying that you should eat your boogers. You should get on that one as well.
What are you, 12?0 -
I'm a married Atheist. I wanted to be bonded with my husband for life. And unlike most married couples, we did it the smart way. We went down to the county clerk's office and got married with just the two of us and a friend. The overall cost(including train tickets) was barely 100 bucks. So we didn't enter our marriage in debt.
damn i thought we where the only ones that did it that way!
Nope! Good to know that others do it the smarter way. There was an article recently written that said it's the smarter way to get married.
There was also an article written recently saying that you should eat your boogers. You should get on that one as well.
What are you, 12?
burn0 -
I'm a married Atheist. I wanted to be bonded with my husband for life. And unlike most married couples, we did it the smart way. We went down to the county clerk's office and got married with just the two of us and a friend. The overall cost(including train tickets) was barely 100 bucks. So we didn't enter our marriage in debt.
damn i thought we where the only ones that did it that way!
Nope! Good to know that others do it the smarter way. There was an article recently written that said it's the smarter way to get married.
There was also an article written recently saying that you should eat your boogers. You should get on that one as well.
What are you, 12?
11, but what I am saying is true, the article really exists. I suppose, however, that you did not get the point of my post.0 -
I dunno, but we both agree we're not doing it again. lol0
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Because it's a lot harder for someone to leave you when you're married. Also, when you marry someone they become your possession so you can stop trying to impress them to make them yours.
iamanadult, "so you can stop trying to impress them to make them yours" I think you have to try even harder, I went the opposite way and, well, it ain't fun. You have to keep cherishing them or the garden withers.
OR
maybe you were being funny.0
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