The official nightshift thread....

bethanie0825

I don't have kids of my own. We have my fiancé's son quite often and I love the kids but some days, I just don't have the patience lol. I go back and forth over whether or not I want kids. However in my line of work, I have def seen people who DO NOT need to reproduce.

Frankie_Felinius

lilaclovebird wrote: »

Frankie_Felinius wrote: »

lilaclovebird wrote: »

ETA: I wish I could get spayed, but doctors say 'I'm too young'.

I used to say I would get spayed in a heart beat from 17/18 on. I was quite anti-child. Until 27 years old and I shockingly developed baby fever. Started with dreams about finding abandoned babies. So weird. I'm still not a child "fan". I'll humor kids and be nice if I'm stuck with one some how but I try to avoid 'em if possible. I love mine to bits but if we're being completely honest...I can tell I'm not cut from the "maternal" cloth. I was a great mom for the first two years but I think my new mom hormones ran out. I'm still a good mom, don't get me wrong...I care for her, love her...but I don't know. Some women LIVE to be a mom, it is all they do, all they care about, are completely selfless for their child. I don't know if it because I'm selfish, an only child who is a loner, had a crap mom myself or what but I am not one of those moms that live to be a mother. Again, I love her to bits and take good care of her (I'm actually really overprotective too hover-y when I'm with her) but my life doesn't revolve around her. Ok, it does but that is the nature of the beast. But I mean I enjoy my alone time and get overwhelmed by having a little shadow. My fiance is the opposite...didn't enjoy babyhood but is best buds with her now. I think that is pretty typical of dads. He is great, natural daddy. He knew when I was pregnant he was going to be a daddy to a little girl...he just felt "like he was meant to be a daddy to a little girl". Awwww.....

I'm not trying to sway you either way. I hated it when people tried to argue with me. "You will change your mind!" "You would be a great mom!" "Everyone should have kids!" Some people just aren't "parent" people. My mom wasn't. I'm not a "natural" parent. Some people just know they aren't or don't want to be. Or maybe you love others' kids but don't want any of your own. You do what makes you happy...what others think in this department is unimportant!

This exactly. I will give my life for anyone else's child. I even have this 'problem' where if I see a child left alone in the grocery store, I watch them until their parent shows up. Like full on stand there protectively over the cart until the parent returns and remind them that it only takes a SECOND for a child abduction to happen. You can walk away from the cart don't get me wrong, but don't go where you can't see your child and they can't see you, e.g. don't walk 3 aisles over just because you don't feel like pushing the cart that far to get your damn pizza rolls!

I've only had one woman ever complain and try to get me in trouble over it and the store manager and subsequent police officer sided with me.
The look on her face when that man in blue said 'Doesn't matter. You shouldn't leave your child alone ma'am.' was perfect.

Over the years we've had 2 or 3 kids escape from rooms that weren't old enough to tell me the parents' name. So I know that feeling of wanting to protect a lost child!

I'm baffled by people who don't realize it takes seconds for their child to disapper. No one thinks it will happen to their child. Don't they think the parents of abducted kids said the same thing? I'll admit it...I'm hover-y and too overprotective. When we are in public...my kid is ALWAYS in my sight. What REALLY baffles me are parents that let their children wander the hotel unaccompanied! Seriously!? There are over 100 rooms here that someone could pull your kid in. In one second. We're right next to a highway and have people from all over the country here. A kid could get snatched and be on the highway to god knows where before the parent realizes it. I've seen 10, 11, 12 year old girls running around in bikinis at 2 A.M. I've seen mothers send their 6 year olds to the desk to get an extra pillow. It is like you are advertising to weirdos...allowing your precious children be in such a risky situation!!! The other night, I saw a dad escort his college age daughter to her room before he left himself. I was so impressed, I almost said something. I see parents of younger kids drop/pick up their kids off at the door. Not this dad. I know my fiance would do the same and it made me happy to see a protective daddy to a nearly grown daughter!

On a side note, I've worked here for years and encountered thousands of people. It makes you wonder how many creeps...like actual creeps, I've been in contact with. Ugh. I remember one guy gave the ultimate creeps. He was handsome but in a overly slick, ratty kind of way. He had greased hair and a wife beater on. He was complimenting me on my hair and I just felt weirded out. The girl with him seemed super uncomfortable, too. I remember the situation felt like....something was impending. Nothing ever happened but still. He was polite, never inapproriate but I just felt a very weird vibe from him. I've had way more blatantly creepy guys that weirded me out less...

Just the other day my daughter went to play with the neighbors, one house over (like one house between us and them). While I could hear her, I couldn't always see her and that was a really big thing for me. I can't stand there and hover while they play (well, I CAN but I shouldn't) so I sat on my front stoop and tried to keep it cool. I know I have to start to let go a little, she isn't a baby anymore and I don't want to make her a weirdo by being THAT parent but it is reallly tough knowing it takes one second for something to happen!

BodyByBex

bethanie0825 wrote: »

I don't have kids of my own. We have my fiancé's son quite often and I love the kids but some days, I just don't have the patience lol. I go back and forth over whether or not I want kids. However in my line of work, I have def seen people who DO NOT need to reproduce.

This. While we're on this note, I DID raise my niece, Ashley, from about 4 months until she was 5 because my brother and his girlfriend moved in with us. Two people who should NOT have become parents and they also should NOT have gotten married(their divorce is now pending).

While they lived with us, they also had my nephew, Alex, and I largely took care of him as well. I was about 12 when all this all began, my mom and dad were both working full time, my bro's girlfriend was working part time and my brother was sitting on his *kitten* smoking marijuana. My mom worked evenings and took care of the kids while I was at school, and I took care of them when I came home. I saw the good, the bad, and the ugly of raising kids fairly early and once they could walk, talk, and do chores(Yes, Ashley was doing laundry at age 5), my brother took over 'parenting' happily.

When my mom finally kicked out my bro's girlfriend for being an ungrateful *kitten* who refused to even attempt to help around the house, they decided to get a place of their own and proceeded to have TWO MORE kids"accidently", Aiden and Aaron, whom my niece Ashley(At age 9) was raising until her parents split up. Then abuse accusations were made by each parent towards the other and now all of the kids are in foster care. There is nothing we can do about it because we now live in Texas and they all live in Washington.

Ashley is well adjusted and is doing EXTREMELY well in school. She is now 15 and I hope she knows that the reason I never want to have children is not HER fault but her mother and father's fault. Thanks to them I never really got to be just an aunt. But I still love her and Alex to pieces. I've never gotten to meet Aiden and Aaron because my brother decided that my mom 'abandoned' him by kicking his girlfriend out of her house. So, as punishment, my mother has never gotten to meet 2 of her grandbabies.

bethanie0825

What an effed up situation. I'm glad to hear she's doing well And I hate seeing people who use their children to punish the other parent or other family members, the kids are the ones who end up getting shorted. People can be so stupid and short sighted.

sufferlandrian

I see enough of the bitterness between split up couples. I can't even imagine what I would see if I worked on the human side.

jennifer_417

My nephew is currently being raised by his grandmother because my brother is in jail and his mom can't get her life together. The grandmother there has all 3 of her kids (only 1 being my nephew). Her youngest got taken away because her boyfriend (not my brother was abusing him. I think she's 24ish., her oldest is 11. My brother won't even contact me nephew and told his grandmother not to call him, because it hurts my brother too much. Sigh.
I love all of these people, but it's not hard to see why I think some people shouldn't reproduce.

Frankie_Felinius

Ok. I did it. Made reservations for our trip to Adventureland. My mom got us a gift certificate for Christmas. She is a roller coaster fan and FORCED me onto my first one...crying...snotty, couldn't catch my breath crying. But I loved it and appreciate her callousness now My fiance has never rode a roller coaster and is quite scared of anything besides a ferris wheel. Ok, he is scared of those, too. Not scared exactly...he is a daredevil kind of guy but rides give him a lot of anxiety. I always loved fair rides but my anxiety has made it difficult. I ride some things with my kid but I'm white-knuckling it the whole time. It isn't FEAR, per se...just the anxiety of something going wrong. So this trip will be interesting. I'm excited but also nervous. Haven't rode a coaster in 23 years, I'm guessing. We're spending two nights in Des Moines. And there is a water park! We're also hitting up a tapas bar and hopefully some Lebanese/Mediterranean grub. Aaaand Lush. I put myself on an embargo for cosmetic/beauty stuff but they have these lovely fresh face masks that can't be ordered online...only purchased in store...so I may have to make an exception! The closest Lush stores are all about 3 hours away from me

My tater tot is going overnight to gramma's Wednesday so we GET TO RIDE OUR BIKES! I haven't ridden mine in weeks! I miss it so much...

belimawr

jennifer_417 wrote: »

I wear a sleeping mask. Feels a little silly, but it works.

I have an unfortunate habit of pulling mine off while sleeping because I don't find them exactly comfortable, but thanks.

When I worked various places throughout the city, I would travel by subway. You see parents who downright ignore their kids, yell at the kid who just wants a little attention, yell at the kid who slightly acts up, or just yell at the kid period. I've witnessed parents tell a kid "I ain't got the time to be dealing with you", etc.

In well off neighborhoods, I see parents walking with the kids in a stroller, pushed by a nanny who walks into the middle of traffic while all three are on the cell phone, and do nothing about it.

Then you have parents like my sister, who don't want to be bothered, and give the kids whatever they want just to get them out of her face. They go around punching myself and other family members randomly and stupid things like that. They're 15 and 13. They can't behave for crap. Got an XBox One for Christmas.

sufferlandrian

I know this seems silly, but I love sleeping with the curtains and blinds open. My wife can't sleep with even a bathroom light on down the hall. I love to wake up and see the weather outside. It makes me feel like I'm not living in a cave.

bethanie0825

The more cave-like, the better for me.

BodyByBex

I like cave-like while I'm sleeping. If I want to see weather, I go to the living room (generally have to put clothes on first ).

belimawr

I can't even have even a pinpoint of light coming through the windows.

jennifer_417

sufferlandrian wrote: »

I know this seems silly, but I love sleeping with the curtains and blinds open. My wife can't sleep with even a bathroom light on down the hall. I love to wake up and see the weather outside. It makes me feel like I'm not living in a cave.

I don't think it's silly at all. I wish I could sleep that way!

sufferlandrian

I promise, I'm not claustrophobic. I just like seeing what's going on outside when I wake up. There is something about blue sky, white clouds, green trees and a gentle breeze that just really starts my day right.

sufferlandrian

I've spent more time in surgery tonight than in the last week combined. OK, maybe not the last week, but it's been a lot of surgery tonight. So far they are all doing well. Getting ready to head in for a C-Section.

belimawr

Ok, I know we have an expert and some pet lovers here, and something I have been meaning to ask.

I live alone, kind of depressing every day to come home to an empty house. I'm not a cat guy, very much a (big) dog guy, and was thinking of adopting (possibly a rescue). However I know the reality is that dogs require more "maintenance" than a cat - I'm out of the house 14-16 hours a day for work. A cat that's no big deal, but for a dog not such a good thing. I'm not really into the smaller breeds, either.

Is there any hope?

sufferlandrian

The breed makes all the difference in the world. Some breeds take more attention than others and some can stay in doors for long hours and others can't. I know you're not a small breed guy but dogs like Cairn Terriers can be trained to use a potty pad/Box and are a bit independent so they don't need you to be home all the time. English Mastiffs are very big dogs. My last one was 210 lbs. They love to do nothing all day. They are very social dogs and can't be kept in the back yard, but they can spend 12 hours in the house by themselves and still be very content to just hang out when you get home. They don't do as well when they are sick. Diarrhea for example is much more problematic for a mastiff that can't get out of the house than it is for a Cairn Terrier.

fatjon73

......*kitten*, *kitten* *kitten*.....just spent 20 minutes typing a massive reply to bel about getting a dog and I hit a wrong button and pooof gone........

In short this time......

It takes a lot of training to get a dog into your routine......think of the space it will need to live in for 14 hrs....if free reign then prepare for mess and damage......but I would not crate for that long either.....I wont crate full stop......other may disagree....but its not for me.........training fo anew dog take ALOT of time......I know I just got 2 pups.....lol.....

OR

Get an OLD rescue....give a old dog a chance of a last good home.......maybe get 2 so they have company.......but if 2.......look at smaller....lol......

sufferlandrian

@fatjon73 - Love the idea of a rescue dog. A lot less training there.

belimawr

I had suggested a rescue dog in my original post, but the only thing, re: training, if the former (mis)owners let the dog out a lot, isn't it going to want to continue that habit?