my hubby paying me to lose weight
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That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
Oh for goodness sake. Use a bit of common sense. As if simply going to school was something to be rewarded for....
No, bonuses arent. They form part of a contract. The work equivalent would be paying someone extra to turn up on time.... Ridiculous.0 -
I find it creepy too. I would punch my husband if he suggested it. That being said, different strokes for different folks and all that. Whatever works for other people.
Same here.0 -
My relationship with my boss is VERY different (in every way possible) from my relationship with my SO. I think this is apples and oranges.
That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
I find it odd that people jump to the parent/child thing. Makes me think things about those people. Just saying.
So if it's not parent/child, it's employer/employee? That's almost worse! lol
Seriously, whatever works for her and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. But TO ME this arrangement is creepy for the reasons stated.0 -
:drinker:Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
Ummmm. No.
I was wondering if he got tired of paying her to have sex, and that hes moved on to something else?My husband has offered sexual favors for every 2lbs I lose.
So uhhhhhh. If you hit a plateau, then what happens? Sorry, cant touch you, you need to lose more weight? WTF?
This thread right here is why people need to lose weight for themselves, not other people or things.0 -
That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
Oh for goodness sake. Use a bit of common sense. As if simply going to school was something to be rewarded for....
No, bonuses arent. They form part of a contract. The work equivalent would be paying someone extra to turn up on time.... Ridiculous.
I got a pay raise for showing up on time and being good at my job. There is no contractual obligation for that raise nor did I go above and beyond for it. It was rewarded to me merely for doing my job.
She's getting money for doing something she seems to have been already a planning to do.
How are these not equal situations?0 -
Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
I think that depends. If the husband came up with the idea when she had no intention of losing weight, then yeah, its a little creepy.
However, if she was unhappy with her weight, struggling with motivation, and her husband was aware of that, and he came to her saying something to effect of, "Okay, lets set up this reward system to help motivate you...." then its not creepy at all, its helpful, caring, and supportive.0 -
Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
I also find it kind of creepy. I'm in a weight loss challenge where I could win some great $$, but that's between friends who are all trying to lose weight. I think if my husband or significant other wanted to pay me to lose weight I'd be a little weirded out.
again, he didnt say hey fatty, heres some money if you lose weight... she is doing this and as added incentive he is sweetening the pot
I kind of feel like if someone is really willing to pay you to lose weight, that's essentially what they are saying. But maybe I'm being overly sensitive? I just know I'd be offended and think it's a weird situation where he would be rewarding me for something I should already be doing for myself. I agree with the kid/husband comment - if my husband is paying me to lose weight, should he pay me to clean my room, too?
OP is clearly happy about the arrangement, which is great if it's a motivation for her, and if it gets her where she wants to be in the long run then who am I to judge? For ME, it would be weird.
Because she is posting on a forum and enticing opinion.... And it is not only weird but just very appalling and an awful example.
An awful example? Oh no, not a bad example!!!! Won't someone think of the children? What next, cats and dogs sharing a bed? Birds swimming and fish flying? We are all doomed because this one woman is setting a (subjectively) bad example!
What are you banging on about? Or did you just feel like having a random, unsubjective, unproductive rant out of boredom?
I thought random nonsense rants were what we were doing here. I was just following your lead.
Haha, you're witty arent you....except for that you arent. Your rant could apply to any subject. Mine was directed at this particular post. Happy now?0 -
why do people get so grumpy on these forums? low blood sugar dieters, perhaps? ;P
I'm not sure if you're speaking about the folks talking about how kinda creepy it is, because honestly it is, my money and his money is our money in my marriage. However, I can see it motivating to lose weight, "Oh I can make an extra $10.00 to go buy those cute yoga pants if I lose 10 lbs, or whatever, it depends on how it was offered. I think I'd be a bit offended if my husband offered to pay me to lose weight though, his mom though, yeah she I expected it from. Now if the story went like she wanted to lose weight and kept on hassling him about it and ranting to him about wanting to lose weight, and he says "Tell you what, if this will motivate you, you can have this amount of money for spending if you lose this amount of weight and so on." That would be different, I mean after all, I kept ranting to him about it, and he is just trying to help me. In a guys mind I would assume he would just think he's helping.
God forbid someone run their household different from the way you run yours. I find it sad that you think it would be better if she nagged him into it.
My problem with it is not how they run their household, but that the pair is entering (or, more realistically, revealing) a control relationship. Paying someone to perform some function is inherently about control, and I think that's something that has no place in a marriage. I find it degrading.
That isn't what I got out of it at all. I really think you are putting your own spin on this. The op is happy and excited about this and we don't even know the whole story. People do things differently. The close mindedness on this thread is just mind blowing. I would suggest some people here really need to venture out of their own little world and experince life in a different way.
You came at me and twisted my words up, I'm just saying. Then you didn't even acknowledge me when I explained it, everyone interrupt's things differently especially on the internet, like you said, we don't all do things the same way, I don't expect you or anyone else to live like I do. But don't twist my damn words and then not even acknowledge me when I explain and then have the gulls to call most people on this thread closed minded, calling the kettle black maybe? We're all suppose to see it your way, right?
I wasn't talking to you... I was talking to Johnny who is also in the quotes. I never said most either.
I didn't respond to you because it wasn't worth it to...
Really? You quoted me and took the nagging bit of what I said and twisted it up. No need to be a twit about it.
What do you not understand about the fact that I am not talking to you? I didn't respond to you anymore because it wasn't worth it. I responded to Johnny because I wanted to.
Are you hungry? Is that why you're a catty little *****? Need a snickers?
No, but thank you for resorting to name calling...0 -
my FL can see what I actually wanted to post!0
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My relationship with my boss is VERY different (in every way possible) from my relationship with my SO. I think this is apples and oranges.
That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
I find it odd that people jump to the parent/child thing. Makes me think things about those people. Just saying.
So if it's not parent/child, it's employer/employee? That's almost worse! lol
Seriously, whatever works for her and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. But TO ME this arrangement is creepy for the reasons stated.
I suppose I just don't see this apoearent creep factor or where giving your spouse things is taboo in some situations but fine in others.
Anything my husband buys me or gifts me with is basically saying "Hey, thanks for not being a crap wife and making me hate you, here's a pressie." And Thats fine, but if he says "hey, I'll give you a pressie if you lose that last ten pounds" then it's icky. Because...control?
I just don't get it. I've dated a controlling guy who told me whatbtonwear and what to eat and how to think and never ever once did he go "If you do X you can Y" because lol I didnt get options or choices or rewards. I got told to do stuff and if I didnt ibpaid the price for not listening.0 -
That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
Oh for goodness sake. Use a bit of common sense. As if simply going to school was something to be rewarded for....
No, bonuses arent. They form part of a contract. The work equivalent would be paying someone extra to turn up on time.... Ridiculous.
I got a pay raise for showing up on time and being good at my job. There is no contractual obligation for that raise nor did I go above and beyond for it. It was rewarded to me merely for doing my job.
Well done. Would have you got a pay rise for showing up, sitting at your desk and twiddling your thumbs? No. You would get the boot. So please explain to me why a child should be paid for getting out of bed and simply going to school? Is your society in so much trouble?
(cant believe I am having this conversation)0 -
...who told you I love Oreos? Do you know my husband? Is this sabotage? Because he knows I can't just eat some Oreos, I have to eat the whole damn pack. At once.
your husband messaged me, said you are too controlling and you dont cross your T's the same way twice.
oh, and here is a picture of your wedding cake to prove i am on the up and up
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It's like that judge said about pronography years ago: I can't define it, but I know it when I see it.
My relationship with my boss is VERY different (in every way possible) from my relationship with my SO. I think this is apples and oranges.
That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
I find it odd that people jump to the parent/child thing. Makes me think things about those people. Just saying.
So if it's not parent/child, it's employer/employee? That's almost worse! lol
Seriously, whatever works for her and I don't expect everyone to agree with me. But TO ME this arrangement is creepy for the reasons stated.
I suppose I just don't see this apoearent creep factor or where giving your spouse things is taboo in some situations but fine in others.
Anything my husband buys me or gifts me with is basically saying "Hey, thanks for not being a crap wife and making me hate you, here's a pressie." And Thats fine, but if he says "hey, I'll give you a pressie if you lose that last ten pounds" then it's icky. Because...control?
I just don't get it. I've dated a controlling guy who told me whatbtonwear and what to eat and how to think and never ever once did he go "If you do X you can Y" because lol I didnt get options or choices or rewards. I got told to do stuff and if I didnt ibpaid the price for not listening.
This just comes across creepy to me. I can't tell you why this and not something else, but it just does.0 -
Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
I also find it kind of creepy. I'm in a weight loss challenge where I could win some great $$, but that's between friends who are all trying to lose weight. I think if my husband or significant other wanted to pay me to lose weight I'd be a little weirded out.
again, he didnt say hey fatty, heres some money if you lose weight... she is doing this and as added incentive he is sweetening the pot
I kind of feel like if someone is really willing to pay you to lose weight, that's essentially what they are saying. But maybe I'm being overly sensitive? I just know I'd be offended and think it's a weird situation where he would be rewarding me for something I should already be doing for myself. I agree with the kid/husband comment - if my husband is paying me to lose weight, should he pay me to clean my room, too?
OP is clearly happy about the arrangement, which is great if it's a motivation for her, and if it gets her where she wants to be in the long run then who am I to judge? For ME, it would be weird.
Because she is posting on a forum and enticing opinion.... And it is not only weird but just very appalling and an awful example.
An awful example? Oh no, not a bad example!!!! Won't someone think of the children? What next, cats and dogs sharing a bed? Birds swimming and fish flying? We are all doomed because this one woman is setting a (subjectively) bad example!
What are you banging on about? Or did you just feel like having a random, unsubjective, unproductive rant out of boredom?
I thought random nonsense rants were what we were doing here. I was just following your lead.
Haha, you're witty arent you....except for that you arent. Your rant could apply to any subject. Mine was directed at this particular post. Happy now?
Your comment was actually rather general and never actually referenced the issue. Simply stating that someone is setting an awful example could apply to so many subjects.0 -
Bump! I wish you much success. :flowerforyou:0
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That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
Oh for goodness sake. Use a bit of common sense. As if simply going to school was something to be rewarded for....
No, bonuses arent. They form part of a contract. The work equivalent would be paying someone extra to turn up on time.... Ridiculous.
I got a pay raise for showing up on time and being good at my job. There is no contractual obligation for that raise nor did I go above and beyond for it. It was rewarded to me merely for doing my job.
Well done. Would have you got a pay rise for showing up, sitting at your desk and twiddling your thumbs? No. You would get the boot. So please explain to me why a child should be paid for getting out of bed and simply going to school? Is your society in so much trouble?
(cant believe I am having this conversation)
I never said kids should get rewards for going to school. In fact I never acknowledged that line if reasoning and went straight to specifying "a job well done". Clearly you think merely going to school fits the bill of what I laid out, but I said no such thing.
But that was almost a smooth attempt to put words in my mouth.0 -
Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
I also find it kind of creepy. I'm in a weight loss challenge where I could win some great $$, but that's between friends who are all trying to lose weight. I think if my husband or significant other wanted to pay me to lose weight I'd be a little weirded out.
again, he didnt say hey fatty, heres some money if you lose weight... she is doing this and as added incentive he is sweetening the pot
I kind of feel like if someone is really willing to pay you to lose weight, that's essentially what they are saying. But maybe I'm being overly sensitive? I just know I'd be offended and think it's a weird situation where he would be rewarding me for something I should already be doing for myself. I agree with the kid/husband comment - if my husband is paying me to lose weight, should he pay me to clean my room, too?
OP is clearly happy about the arrangement, which is great if it's a motivation for her, and if it gets her where she wants to be in the long run then who am I to judge? For ME, it would be weird.
Because she is posting on a forum and enticing opinion.... And it is not only weird but just very appalling and an awful example.
An awful example? Oh no, not a bad example!!!! Won't someone think of the children? What next, cats and dogs sharing a bed? Birds swimming and fish flying? We are all doomed because this one woman is setting a (subjectively) bad example!
What are you banging on about? Or did you just feel like having a random, unsubjective, unproductive rant out of boredom?
I thought random nonsense rants were what we were doing here. I was just following your lead.
Haha, you're witty arent you....except for that you arent. Your rant could apply to any subject. Mine was directed at this particular post. Happy now?
Your comment was actually rather general and never actually referenced the issue. Simply stating that someone is setting an awful example could apply to so many subjects.
Use your noggin. If it is posted on a forum titled 'my hubby paying me to lose weight ' then it is hardly to be about advanced mathematics is it? Do you find common sense a tad difficult?0 -
Am I really the only one who finds this creepy?
I also find it kind of creepy. I'm in a weight loss challenge where I could win some great $$, but that's between friends who are all trying to lose weight. I think if my husband or significant other wanted to pay me to lose weight I'd be a little weirded out.
again, he didnt say hey fatty, heres some money if you lose weight... she is doing this and as added incentive he is sweetening the pot
I kind of feel like if someone is really willing to pay you to lose weight, that's essentially what they are saying. But maybe I'm being overly sensitive? I just know I'd be offended and think it's a weird situation where he would be rewarding me for something I should already be doing for myself. I agree with the kid/husband comment - if my husband is paying me to lose weight, should he pay me to clean my room, too?
OP is clearly happy about the arrangement, which is great if it's a motivation for her, and if it gets her where she wants to be in the long run then who am I to judge? For ME, it would be weird.
Because she is posting on a forum and enticing opinion.... And it is not only weird but just very appalling and an awful example.
An awful example? Oh no, not a bad example!!!! Won't someone think of the children? What next, cats and dogs sharing a bed? Birds swimming and fish flying? We are all doomed because this one woman is setting a (subjectively) bad example!
What are you banging on about? Or did you just feel like having a random, unsubjective, unproductive rant out of boredom?
I thought random nonsense rants were what we were doing here. I was just following your lead.
Haha, you're witty arent you....except for that you arent. Your rant could apply to any subject. Mine was directed at this particular post. Happy now?
Your comment was actually rather general and never actually referenced the issue. Simply stating that someone is setting an awful example could apply to so many subjects.
Use your noggin. If it is posted on a forum titled 'my hubby paying me to lose weight ' then it is hardly to be about advanced mathematics is it? Do you find common sense a tad difficult?
So your general statement must apply to the subject at hand but my general statement could apply to anything in spite of being in the same forum with the same title.
Gotcha0 -
I think it is great ! Let's face it. If we know we are fat. Our husbands know we are fat. Every husband want a beautifully fit and attractive wife. If they say otherwise they are lying. Yep, I said it. So, if he wants to promise his wife something special for her success more power to the both of them.
I agree. He's supporting her wishes. Not creepy.0 -
That was my thing. It felt like a parent/child situation.This is like paying your 10 year old to go to school as an incentive not to spend time bunking off every day....
Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?
Oh for goodness sake. Use a bit of common sense. As if simply going to school was something to be rewarded for....
No, bonuses arent. They form part of a contract. The work equivalent would be paying someone extra to turn up on time.... Ridiculous.
I got a pay raise for showing up on time and being good at my job. There is no contractual obligation for that raise nor did I go above and beyond for it. It was rewarded to me merely for doing my job.
Well done. Would have you got a pay rise for showing up, sitting at your desk and twiddling your thumbs? No. You would get the boot. So please explain to me why a child should be paid for getting out of bed and simply going to school? Is your society in so much trouble?
(cant believe I am having this conversation)
I never said kids should get rewards for going to school. In fact I never acknowledged that line if reasoning and went straight to specifying "a job well done". Clearly you think merely going to school fits the bill of what I laid out, but I said no such thing.
But that was almost a smooth attempt to put words in my mouth.
"Are parents the only people who give money for a job well done? Are pay raises, bonuses, and commission checks not the same thing?"
Is it me, or by this sentence do you imply that sending your kids to school is a job well done? A pay rise the same thing? Same thing as what?
Or why argue with what I said prior? (blimey, I must be bored today)0
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