Can a man and woman be good friends without...?

Options
1…79111213

Replies

  • TheyCallMeMISTERChace
    TheyCallMeMISTERChace Posts: 1,019
    Options
    Maybe if one of them is ugly. ;)




    Jesus... are you really that shallow? Looks have nothing to do with it. Some of my male friends are VERY handsome, but I'm not interested in making any move on them nor would I go along with it if they made the move.

    No, I'm demonstrating a sense of humor.
    That might explain a few things.
  • Noamsh
    Noamsh Posts: 79 Member
    Options
    I have a very close male friend. I've never been even a bit attracted to him, nor had any kind of sexual thoughts about him.
    Don't know if it's the same on his part, but as far as I'm concerned, it's very possible.
  • TheyCallMeMISTERChace
    TheyCallMeMISTERChace Posts: 1,019
    Options
    I have a very close male friend. I've never been even a bit attracted to him, nor had any kind of sexual thoughts about him.
    Don't know if it's the same on his part, but as far as I'm concerned, it's very possible.

    I suspect it's not the same on his part... ;)
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Options
    I asked my husband about this, to get a male point of view, and he says, of course men and women can be friends without any sexual interest between them. HE has female friends whom he has no sexual interest in, just friendship. According to him, men feel they have to seem like they are fixated on sex, ESPECIALLY in front of other men, when actually it's not that big a deal, no more than any other part of life.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Options
    I have a very close male friend. I've never been even a bit attracted to him, nor had any kind of sexual thoughts about him.
    Don't know if it's the same on his part, but as far as I'm concerned, it's very possible.

    I suspect it's not the same on his part... ;)
    :laugh:
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Options
    "Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love but no friendship " Oscar Wilde

    It's been my experience men and women can't be friends without sexual desires. Maybe it's us men that are the problem but I'm pretty sure women have similar feelings.


    Oscar Wilde does not speak for all men, or for anyone except himself, and HE was gay, so what does he know?
    My male friends seem to enjoy my company but none of them has ever made any move on me, or anything at all inappropriate. Or me to them, either. Love yes, any sexuality at all, no.
  • burning2much
    burning2much Posts: 4,846 Member
    Options
    I've had relationship s with and without other women and have stayed good friends... Trick to that is honesty....that and no expectations
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
    Options
    I've never really had a good, close friend that was a woman. And in reading a recent post, I was wondering, 'Can a man and a woman be good friends without some sort of sexual thoughts or actions getting in the way?' The answer for me, is probably no. I'm too much of a horn dog. I'm probably missing out on some meaningful relationships, but that's just me. Sometimes II kind of wish I had a close female friend, but such is life. Thoughts.

    For me the answer is "yes". But I guess the questions would be 1) What is a "good friend" and 2) what defines "getting in the way"?

    I have friends who are women and for whom I would drop what I'm doing and help them if asked. That's not something I do for just anyone, so I would consider them "good friends". I also have female friends with whom I might be willing to hold more personal conversations than I would with members of the general public. I would also consider them in the category of "good friends". For me, that's saying something because, as an introvert, I don't have a very large circle of friends- I tend to keep it fairly close.

    "Getting in the way" is probably where the big difference is. For me, sex has a fairly limited role in my life. As a result of many things, not the least of which is the fact I've seen every form of birth control fail (to include a couple where both male and female had their respective tubes "tied") I'm reserving sexual behavior for a woman I'm willing to have a lifetime connection with and commitment to. So, in my case, actual sex exists in a realm that comes well after almost all other forms of interpersonal relationship. That makes it easy for me to have female friends of varying degrees with sex staying far out of the picture.

    That does not, however, mean I do not have sexual thoughts from time to time. I've got a couple female friends that I think would be awesome in bed. I just don't act on those thoughts. Because I'm not at a point where I'm thinking about trying to make a move due to the aforementioned lifetime connection concern, the thoughts don't get in the way. I simply have sexually attractive female friends.

    I just continue to treat everyone around me, male or female, the same way and let the relationships grow as close as natural progression takes them. Hopefully, I will come across a female whose friendship will continue on a path to the point I'm willing to have a lifelong connection to her, and then I'll let sex come in as appropriate.
  • milksibling
    milksibling Posts: 33
    Options
    A lot of my friends are male, I work with all men, and I hope to god NONE of them think of me in a sexual way. Then again, I'm the kind of girl who immediately writes off anyone who hits on me. Don't approach me at a bar!

    My boyfriend is smart, sensitive, handsome, talented, and a gentleman when it comes to women. And by "gentleman" I mean that he respects a woman as a *person.* For her intelligence, talent, personality, moral fiber, etc. Man or woman, as long as you're a good person, that's all that matters to us.

    Granted, I think women are socially programmed to be more "aware" of their own gender. I'm sorry I can't articulate how gender inequality still exists, but point being! I'm always looking for more lady friends! Us girls gotta stick together!
  • milksibling
    milksibling Posts: 33
    Options
    I've never really had a good, close friend that was a woman. And in reading a recent post, I was wondering, 'Can a man and a woman be good friends without some sort of sexual thoughts or actions getting in the way?' The answer for me, is probably no. I'm too much of a horn dog. I'm probably missing out on some meaningful relationships, but that's just me. Sometimes II kind of wish I had a close female friend, but such is life. Thoughts.

    For me the answer is "yes". But I guess the questions would be 1) What is a "good friend" and 2) what defines "getting in the way"?

    I have friends who are women and for whom I would drop what I'm doing and help them if asked. That's not something I do for just anyone, so I would consider them "good friends". I also have female friends with whom I might be willing to hold more personal conversations than I would with members of the general public. I would also consider them in the category of "good friends". For me, that's saying something because, as an introvert, I don't have a very large circle of friends- I tend to keep it fairly close.

    "Getting in the way" is probably where the big difference is. For me, sex has a fairly limited role in my life. As a result of many things, not the least of which is the fact I've seen every form of birth control fail (to include a couple where both male and female had their respective tubes "tied") I'm reserving sexual behavior for a woman I'm willing to have a lifetime connection with and commitment to. So, in my case, actual sex exists in a realm that comes well after almost all other forms of interpersonal relationship. That makes it easy for me to have female friends of varying degrees with sex staying far out of the picture.

    That does not, however, mean I do not have sexual thoughts from time to time. I've got a couple female friends that I think would be awesome in bed. I just don't act on those thoughts. Because I'm not at a point where I'm thinking about trying to make a move due to the aforementioned lifetime connection concern, the thoughts don't get in the way. I simply have sexually attractive female friends.

    I just continue to treat everyone around me, male or female, the same way and let the relationships grow as close as natural progression takes them. Hopefully, I will come across a female whose friendship will continue on a path to the point I'm willing to have a lifelong connection to her, and then I'll let sex come in as appropriate.

    ^^^^ You're AWESOME.
  • MG_Fit
    MG_Fit Posts: 1,143 Member
    Options
    stanford-cowbell-player-against-kansas-b.gif?w=1000
  • JONZ64
    JONZ64 Posts: 1,280 Member
    Options
    Without actions? Possibly.

    Without thoughts? No.

    This.

    +1

    Exactly!
  • RunnerStephe
    RunnerStephe Posts: 2,195
    Options
    Most of my friends are female. I don't bond well with males. The only person I want sex from is my wife.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    Options
    well it didn't work out for them, but that doesn't mean it can't
    tumblr_mye7miBTwu1ruxk4vo4_r1_250.gif
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    Options
    Most of my male friends are gay, so there is never any sexual tension.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    Options
    Yes I have sex with all my girl friends.
  • Escloflowne
    Escloflowne Posts: 2,038 Member
    Options
    Yes it is possible, I've never slept with her!


    I.C.E. Cream Official Tester
    IKEA Professional Put Together-er
    Kickboxing Class Attender
    Been in fitness for about 2 years and have studied kitty-gif-ology, nutrition and Dinosaurs

Categories