chubby or skinny

MysteriousMerlin

I don't care. I had a mini crush on a co-worker who was easily over 400lbs. He was handsome, funny and confident. My husband was 130lbs when I married him.

Hockeydad54321

Both and in between

Courage1895

Image is seriously not important to me. What really matters to me weather I am dating the person or even just friends with them is that they are kind, intelligent, and want to change the world for the better in any way they can, and that we can understand each other and respect is key. Dating somebody based on looks is stupid in my opinion because I would never want anybody to judge me based on what I look like and dismiss me if I do not fit their standards.

Thatsdatdiva601

I guess both...when I met the hubby he was average... but we fell in love and both gained! We're working on getting healthy so we can expand our lifespan!

fitfreakymom

same as women who say women hate them cause they are fat. some of it is real and some is all in our heads. But all in all I think people tend to be more attracted to other people who live the same kind of lifestyle. And if people are insecure with themselves then they do not want to be around people who they feel look better than them and as far as fit people go maybe some do not want to be around people who they feel might not have much in common with them and in some cases people on both sides are just *kitten* and judgmental, we have all done it at some point.

You know, women (in general and there are many exceptions) can be pretty awful when they feel even a twinge of jealousy.

I have known my best friend since we were babies, literally for 35 years now. In August we will have known each other 36 years.

I love her. She is more like a sister than a friend and I know that no matter what, she will always be there when I need her. However, she can be kind of a bee-otch under certain circumstances, and perhaps this is a better illustration of what Cindy and I are talking about that maybe can put things in better perspective.

My friend is TERRIBLE at relationships. There are underlying issues that I won't go into, but she pretty much sabotages herself. Yet the thing she wants more than anything is to get married and have babies. She is twice divorced with a broken engagement in between.

There have been times when we've been single together, there have been times when we've both been in relationships and there have been times when only one or the other of us has been in a relationship.

I have lived with the same man for almost nine years and I have a daughter (not with him). She has said some nasty things to me regarding the circumstances of my daughter's birth. As I mentioned, I was very young. I have managed, though, to get a college degree and make a nice life for us. My friend has told me in a not nice tone what a terrible example I am because teenage girls will see me and think it's a good idea to have a baby. This is only one example of some of the things she's said.

The other thing I've noticed is that she treats me very differently when I am in a relationship and she isn't. She makes snotty, snide comments during those times, but when she is in a relationship herself (regardless of my status), she never does that.

So the bottom line is that some women see another woman has or is something they don't or aren't and they become very nasty toward that other woman regardless of that other woman's personality or how that other woman treats them or behaves in general. Sometimes that thing is that the insecure woman thinks the other woman is more attractive (regardless of whether she is).

Dismissing this as a possibility for poor treatment of one woman by another is burying one's head in the sand. It happens. It happens enough that people notice.

I'm certaibnly no model, but I do take care of myself. I look a bit different (better) in person than in photographs and this event took place when I was much younger and thinner than I am now (and I'm not that big now, either). The women who did it were mostly the stereotypical frumpy housewives who wore mom jeans, were overweight and didn't even bother to fix their hair most days. The typical "I've given up" look. The ONLY thing I had that they didn't was what I looked like. They had more money, they had husbands, they had pretty much anything they wanted. What did they have to be jealous of me for?

and that's what made them jealous lol you look better than them. I try to look after myself and am definitely not the stereotypical house wife and my hubby will not generally take me to military functions and his reasoning is that I would be constantly hit on and that would make it uncomfortable for him lol ( his words not mine) but it is what it is and there will always be jealous people. I just ignore it because their insecurity is not my issue and I am very secure with myself and the way I look.

I do find though that when women who are insecure are around women who are secure it tends to make them feel threatened.

rml_16

You know, women (in general and there are many exceptions) can be pretty awful when they feel even a twinge of jealousy.

Dismissing this as a possibility for poor treatment of one woman by another is burying one's head in the sand. It happens. It happens enough that people notice.

People, in general and with many exceptions, can be pretty awful when they feel even a twinge of jealousy. Calling out someone for singling out women for this behavior when it's a human and not gender-specific trait is not head-burying.

I've never been treated that way by a man. Not once.

I thought of another example this morning. I'd completely forgotten.

When I was 19, a friend got me a job waitressing at a little family diner where she worked.

I went in my first night. It was really slow, so I only got to wait on maybe one or two tables and in the meantime, one of the owners (a woman in her 30s) was showing me the ropes and giving me side work to do. Every time I finished a task, I asked her what else needed doing and di the best I could to be useful and learn my way around.

She called me the next night and fired me. Basically said they just didn't need a new employee. What she told my friend, though, was that I did nothing all night but walk around sticking my boobs out.

I was wearing a baggyish T-shirt. I have DDs and was a dancer, so my posture is good. I do not and never have deliberately stuck my boobs out. I certainly didn't do it that night and I certainly did more than just walk around preening.

I have worked with and for men and I have many male friends. Not one of them has ever treated me like that. And based on what they tell me, they don't treat each other like that, either. This does seem to be a very female-specific behavior, for whatever reason. Not all women do it, but I do think mostly it is women who do it.

TX_Rhon

Wow! Just Wow! Can this just please stop?

We get it. Some people have been wronged. Get therapy and move on.

Now........can the future replies please stay on topic???

Here's a flower so I don't seem unsympathetic to your plight :flowerforyou:

rml_16

Wow! Just Wow! Can this just please stop?

We get it. Some people have been wronged. Get therapy and move on.

Now........can the future replies please stay on topic???

Here's a flower so I don't seem unsympathetic to your plight :flowerforyou:

You do realize this thread went off topic on like page 2, right?

I'm so sorry that you have trouble just not reading posts you don't want to read. You might want some therapy for that. :flowerforyou:

DamePiglet

Wow! Just Wow! Can this just please stop?

We get it. Some people have been wronged. Get therapy and move on.

Now........can the future replies please stay on topic???

Here's a flower so I don't seem unsympathetic to your plight :flowerforyou:

(Gasp)
Are you trying to say that you DON'T want me to hijack this thread and make it all about ****ME****?? :laugh: :bigsmile:

mmartinez_az

Chunky but funky

Shedding4Wedding2014

Not in to skinny.

TheRoadDog

I like a woman with curves.

TX_Rhon

Wow! Just Wow! Can this just please stop?

We get it. Some people have been wronged. Get therapy and move on.

Now........can the future replies please stay on topic???

Here's a flower so I don't seem unsympathetic to your plight :flowerforyou:

(Gasp)
Are you trying to say that you DON'T want me to hijack this thread and make it all about ****ME****?? :laugh: :bigsmile:

Well, technically I did not address my post to anyone in particular. But when I come into the fun thread, I prefer to read just that - fun things. Am I wrong? It's a fun question, go with it or not - I don't care but seriously the "My life sucks because I am forever wronged" carp gets old! Thanks for letting me address that - I'm done :happy:

Thanks to the other posts who have stayed on topic. You guys rock! :drinker:

Happy Friday!!

FlaxMilk

I'm kind of a jerk. :embarassed:

nicolabarratt267

I prefer men with a bit of meat on them... as long as they muscly arms

reimaka17

If we're just basing this on physical appearance then I like thick guys. While I do like a bit of muscle on 'em (some definition is sexy--especially in the arms) I'd prefer them not to be bulging or ripped (even though that's hot) because I like softness. So "chubby", I guess.

That's not a deal breaker, though. Personality is unbelievably important. You'd be amazed at how attractive a person becomes to you when you fall in love with who they are as a person.

butterfli7o

I didn't read all the replies but...yes to both, depends on the person.

qtgonewild

just right. more skinny than chubby.

branflakes1980

Most of the threads on here involve body shamming... and its all the skinny people doing it

Yet you are shaming the "skinny" people. :noway: I think you need to think about what you are about to type before you actually do it.

RockWarrior84

more cushion for the pushin

EternalDecadence

Personally, I like chubby men. I think they are more attentive lovers, so I married one. (;

lisawinning4losing

Looks aren't everything, it's the person inside that counts the most. But honestly, looks do matter as part of the whole package. I would prefer either an average build or slightly chubby, or lean muscles, as opposed to either super skinny or very fat. But I admit that out of all those categories, "very fat" is the least attractive. I'm about 40-50 pounds overweight right now and trying to lose weight because honestly I'm not attracted to overweight people so why would I expect anyone to be attracted to me. I have no interest in dating other fat people so I guess I better get thin.

(That was an honest answer.)

Myhaloslipped

Depends. Which one is smart, funny and nice?

QFT!

callyart

Not really a preference for me as long as they're healthy?

I don't tend to fall in love with just a body.

My partner was SO skinny when I met him, only weight over 9 and a half stone at 6 ft. Now he's just over 13 stone, and I love him all the same!

Edit: He asked me not to lose *too much* weight because he likes my big butt and curves, so I guess that his preference is a little chubby lol

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

SaintGiff

Have dated women who were thin. Have dated women who were obese. I find it really stupid to date people based on appearance and not who they really are. Appearances change. I've known incredibly "HOT" women who couldn't hold down their end of a conversation so I lost interest. I've known women who maybe most people wouldn't find all that attractive, but their minds were incredibly sexy and they turned out to be phenomenal lovers. Bottom line: If you're dating someone solely based on physical appearance, then the only thing you're actually dating is your own ego.

Sinisterly

Honestly, I'd prefer human.. But if they're aliens, that's fine too, long as everything's in the right place.

SouthGaPeach

Have dated women who were thin. Have dated women who were obese. I find it really stupid to date people based on appearance and not who they really are. Appearances change. I've known incredibly "HOT" women who couldn't hold down their end of a conversation so I lost interest. I've known women who maybe most people wouldn't find all that attractive, but their minds were incredibly sexy and they turned out to be phenomenal lovers. Bottom line: If you're dating someone solely based on physical appearance, then the only thing you're actually dating is your own ego.

LOVE THIS! this is so true. Its not about an appearance. Most people would not be attracted to my boyfriend. He is a very stocky build with a few extra lbs. and has a large scar on his stomach from a birth defect but I love him for who he is as a person rather than what he looks like, and to me, anyway, he is still the sexiest man out there.

DJManos

Rubenesque....