Are we all..sexist?

arwacky

So one of my guy friends is starting to hate women because he thinks that everyone treats women so much better than guys. What do you guys think?

I have a couple examples that he gave me..
1. He's been going on job interviews as well, they were about to hire him until a lesser qualified piece of eye candy came into the picture and got the job instead..this happened to him twice.
2. We were at a Spanish deli and we both ordered chicken, rice, and beans. They asked me what part of the chicken I wanted and they didn't ask him. Afterwards he points it out. I told him he should've let them know..he said he was being quiet to prove a point that women are always treated better than men. (Side note a third friend who usually goes to that deli says that they treat you better of you're a woman or speak Spanish so maybe it's based on the place..)

Do you think we as a society are sexist???

Init2winIt79

He just hasn't stepped into a woman's shoes...
Gender Roles and biased go both ways

The man interviewing him could be gay, then her being'eye candy' would have nothinb to do wiht it, sometimes the less qualified are hired or, unfortunately, a woman is hired becasue companies can pay them less...

2. Spanish deli, dealing w/ people form another culture, and for hispanics men are ruled by machismo and if you cans peak a common language it's not just that they want to treat you better...you might just make them feel more comfortable, I've gone into Lebanese joints, Indian places....people just fee drawn to be kinder to their own, for whateevr reason(diff. for everyone)

When I was still w/ one of my exes(nice eyes, overall attractive), if we went to a place and the employees were young girls they would totally ignore me and make eye contact only with him and only ask him and give him the extras..and give him a smile.....
If the employees are professional this doesn't occur as often
If they are males, then I may or may not get treated better, I think mostly becauss I don't look for this kind of 'special' treatmnet/ don't like it......most guys that treat a girl "better" is because they want something from her

I think girls, women have it hard enough already, your friend was prob just having a bad day and looking for someone to blame...get over it negative nancy!

arwacky

Hahaha he just loves to complain but it got me thinking...do I get more special treatment then I realized??

DirtyCurvesAhead

Men and women both get gender special treatment, positive & negative, just in separate ways and for separate reasons. Shrug*

sentaruu

I think everyone is sexist to a certain degree, whether they are aware of it or not. Though the lines between gender roles in society are becoming more and more blurred, there are still certain stereotypes and traditions of thought that carry on today.

impyimpyaj

Sure, you get special treatment. And you also get crapped on. It's all in how you look at things.

The women probably got hired because they could pay them less. Or, if they were truly "eye candy," I'm willing to bet that it's not going to be a very pleasant work environment for them. You can only be called "honey" so many times before it starts to stick in your craw.

People are often more courteous to women, because of the old-fashioned ideas of chivalry. But that only goes so far.

weber22c

I'd have a far easier time in my career if I were a man. While it's obviously an illegal stance to take publicly, there are lots of companies who don't see the point in putting their money into a woman who (in their minds) is just going to go and pop out a bunch of babies at the earliest opportunity. But that's the hand I've been dealt, so I do the best with what I've got.

I'm sure there are indeed situations that are biased towards women, but I can't think of any off the top of my head right now.

Trechechus

Two examples that happened to him personally that he read a lot into versus hundreds of years of historical records... He must be right.

Keltinator

I've worked in male-dominated settings and have definitely noticed that I've gotten special treatment. I never took advantage of it, but it happened. When I worked in a retail environment, we were partly paid by commission, and I never had problems selling things, whereas many of my male coworkers did. I've thought about it, and perhaps that may be because I seem more approachable.

Strangers smile at women more often; I believe that in a lot of settings, we are genuinely treated in a more friendly manner than a lot of guys.

Many fathers complain that if they take their younger child to the park, they get suspicious glances from mothers. If their kid throws a temper tantrum and the father decides to take him/her home, there have been instances where someone has assumed they are abducting the child and call the police.

Of course, there are many issues that women face, too. I'm not saying we have it easier. Depending on the situation, your gender may or may not be an advantage.

BeachGingerOnTheRocks

Based on the responses so far, the answer seems to be that everyone is sexist, and people who run restaurants may or may not be racially biased.

arwacky

Based on the responses so far, the answer seems to be that everyone is sexist, and people who run restaurants may or may not be racially biased.

:laugh:

Guess it's part of being human

salembambi

no.

wertgirlfor

I'd like to know how he knows that the "eye candy" was under qualified, like did he the interviewer or something later? Maybe they were both pretty and qualified lol.

If the workers at the deli are known to treat women better, that's not really an indicator of society as a whole. As others said, maybe their culture determines how they treat women and you would be treated better by them then someone of another culture.

I think as a society we are still sexist. There are still the notions that women are/should be agreeable, gentle, emotional, thin/shapely, feminine, family-oriented etc. and men are/should be tough, strong, stoic, brave, tall, career-oriented, etc. We worry less about when people break these stereotypes, but they're definitely still there and influence the way we see people. We are getting away from how we used to be, but the sexism is definitely still there.

AlongCame_Molly

Hahaha he just loves to complain but it got me thinking...do I get more special treatment then I realized??

Maybe, but I say going through the horror and agony of squeezing a person out the hoo-hah earns us some special treatment. :laugh: #kiddingbutnotkidding

arwacky

Hahaha he just loves to complain but it got me thinking...do I get more special treatment then I realized??

Maybe, but I say going through the horror and agony of squeezing a person out the hoo-hah earns us some special treatment. :laugh: #kiddingbutnotkidding

Lmaooo and monthly agonies for those of us that aren't mothers. Omg!! Next time he complains or hates on women that'll be my response!!

Cameron_1969

He's a crybaby.

Derp_Diggler

Hahaha he just loves to complain but it got me thinking...do I get more special treatment then I realized??

Maybe, but I say going through the horror and agony of squeezing a person out the hoo-hah earns us some special treatment. :laugh: #kiddingbutnotkidding

And I say dealing with you and your fluctuating hormones for nine months earns us some special treatment :laugh: #kiddingbutnotkiddingifyou'renotkidding

Derp_Diggler

Hahaha he just loves to complain but it got me thinking...do I get more special treatment then I realized??

Maybe, but I say going through the horror and agony of squeezing a person out the hoo-hah earns us some special treatment. :laugh: #kiddingbutnotkidding

Lmaooo and monthly agonies for those of us that aren't mothers. Omg!! Next time he complains or hates on women that'll be my response!!

That's the price you pay for multiple orgasms

ThickMcRunFast

a less qualified piece of eye candy? Was he able to see her resume? Maybe she was a more qualified person who also happened to be attractive.

Sounds like he needs one of these

arwacky

I'd like to know how he knows that the "eye candy" was under qualified, like did he the interviewer or something later? Maybe they were both pretty and qualified lol.

If the workers at the deli are known to treat women better, that's not really an indicator of society as a whole. As others said, maybe their culture determines how they treat women and you would be treated better by them then someone of another culture.

I think as a society we are still sexist. There are still the notions that women are/should be agreeable, gentle, emotional, thin/shapely, feminine, family-oriented etc. and men are/should be tough, strong, stoic, brave, tall, career-oriented, etc. We worry less about when people break these stereotypes, but they're definitely still there and influence the way we see people. We are getting away from how we used to be, but the sexism is definitely still there.

Those were just examples I had off the top of my head.

He found out from one of the managers at the job..he had told my friend that when he questioned everyone else why they didn't hire him they could not give a good response. Most ppl at the job don't get along with her very well. I even tried to make him feel better and told him that maybe they gave her the job because she didn't have one whereas he has other options..

I agree with the last paragraph though.

RaspberryKeytoneBoondoggle

Hahaha he just loves to complain but it got me thinking...do I get more special treatment then I realized??

Maybe, but I say going through the horror and agony of squeezing a person out the hoo-hah earns us some special treatment. :laugh: #kiddingbutnotkidding

Lmaooo and monthly agonies for those of us that aren't mothers. Omg!! Next time he complains or hates on women that'll be my response!!

That's the price you pay for multiple orgasms

But but..... Nope. I got nothing. We get all the perks . :blushing:

SunofaBeach14

Maybe, maybe not, but we do know that hypersensitive people have it soooo hard! :sad:

ladymiseryali

Your friend sounds like a butthurt man-child who is used to getting what he wants and now that he's in the real world, he sees that it's not like the little bubble he grew up in, so he's taken on a misogynistic view. He has to blame someone, why not blame women?

Just my opinion on the matter.

_Terrapin_

SO the chicken, just cause I'm curious...and bored. Did you order first? If so, maybe they had limited options. But honestly if I'm hungry I'd eat the beaks and legs so I'm not picky nor would I notice someone asking a woman and not me. Just give me the damn chicken, light/dark meat, beak, preferably without feathers and were good.

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

Cranquistador

We are all SEXY

arwacky

Your friend sounds like a butthurt man-child who is used to getting what he wants and now that he's in the real world, he sees that it's not like the little bubble he grew up in, so he's taken on a misogynistic view. He has to blame someone, why not blame women?

Just my opinion on the matter.

Sorry I presented him that way but he's really not. He's actually had a tough life..his parents haven't been there for him. He's had to support his family and himself. He's paid for his college career and is paying for his sister as well. He was disappointed that he signed the paperwork for the job and someone came and pretty much took it from him. It was just a large amount of bad luck from women at the same time so he started complaining in general. It's kinda sad actually

Myhaloslipped

I have a male friend who believes this same theory. It turns out he's just acting like a little b***h, and a lot of people just don't like him and his undeserved sense of self-entitlement. Mystery solved! :laugh:

arwacky

SO the chicken, just cause I'm curious...and bored. Did you order first? If so, maybe they had limited options. But honestly if I'm hungry I'd eat the beaks and legs so I'm not picky nor would I notice someone asking a woman and not me. Just give me the damn chicken, light/dark meat, beak, preferably without feathers and were good.

I did order first. I got the breast of course.

_Terrapin_

We are all SEXY

well.....she is....due to the pony tail and other stuff; but yes...most people are sexy...wait Whut?!? What was the topic by OP...sexist or sexism(ism's see Ferris Bueller's Day Off...all will make sense)

Filmlotus

The eye candy was selected based on a male boss's choice right? So why is it the female's fault and not that boss's bias? Shouldn't that be the male's choice that he hired something he could treat like a piece of meat and pay less then?

People ask women for particular dietary choices probably because there is a chance that they could be pregnant. Unless I've been under a rock, men do not need to worry about carrying an infant inside of him. So the fact that he wants restaurants to ask him the same questions as they would for a woman is a little petty. Sure, he may be intolerant of some kind of food, but it's up to him to ask. Our society tends to be concerned about pregnant women and children because they are vulnerable.