Are we all..sexist?

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Replies

  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
    He can have the "special treatment", but he shouldn't forget to enjoy the almost daily sexual harassment and lower salaries for the exact same job.
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    -we can't get drunk at bars/clubs for, again, fear of being raped
    -when we are raped we're blamed for leading men on
    -women in the workforce are generally considered to have "slept their way to the top"
    -women in the work place are constantly coddled, underestimated, and dismissed regardless of their ability
    -if a woman has sex before marriage she's ruined, not to mention, y'know, a *kitten*
    -if a woman gets pregnant before marriage it's entirely her fault for not closing her legs
    -women who'd rather a career than raise children are looked down upon and considered selfish
    -women are constantly verbally/emotionally/physically assaulted and we're expected to grin and bear it (street/car calling, wolf whistling, butt slapping, etc)
    -women are expected to marry at a certain age otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women are expected to have children otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women can't even serve their country because the level of sexism and misogyny is the army/military is atrocious
    -women can't sleep around, admit to masturbating, or discuss sex without being considered a *kitten*
    -abortion and birth control. enough said.

    Do you live in the middle ages? The deep south? As part of a religious society? If the ones above are actually a part of day to day culture where you're from then I strongly suggest you move.
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    Hmm, that's strange.

    I hate everyone equally, male and female.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,302 Member


    The women probably got hired because they could pay them less.

    Really?

    Don't u have equal opportunity laws and award wages that a qualified person has to be paid the same regardless of gender?

    Not in the US. Women generally get paid 77 cents to a man's dollar even if they're working the same position, pulling the same hours, outputting the same amount of work, etc. You get the idea. Men get paid more, the end. It's 2014 and yet it hasn't been changed. You'd think we were a developed nation...oh, wait.

    Ok.
    I am surprised at that.

    Is taken for granted in Australia that the same position gets paid the same amount, regardless of gender - is illegal to do otherwise.

    Yes, I know average male earnings are still higher than average female earning but this correlates to a range of factors - more women take time out from the workforce to raise children, more women work part time, more women go into lower paid industries etc.
    But Women don't get paid less if they are equally qualified and work the same hours in the same job.
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  • reimaka17
    reimaka17 Posts: 48 Member
    -we can't get drunk at bars/clubs for, again, fear of being raped
    -when we are raped we're blamed for leading men on
    -women in the workforce are generally considered to have "slept their way to the top"
    -women in the work place are constantly coddled, underestimated, and dismissed regardless of their ability
    -if a woman has sex before marriage she's ruined, not to mention, y'know, a *kitten*
    -if a woman gets pregnant before marriage it's entirely her fault for not closing her legs
    -women who'd rather a career than raise children are looked down upon and considered selfish
    -women are constantly verbally/emotionally/physically assaulted and we're expected to grin and bear it (street/car calling, wolf whistling, butt slapping, etc)
    -women are expected to marry at a certain age otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women are expected to have children otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women can't even serve their country because the level of sexism and misogyny is the army/military is atrocious
    -women can't sleep around, admit to masturbating, or discuss sex without being considered a *kitten*
    -abortion and birth control. enough said.

    Do you live in the middle ages? The deep south? As part of a religious society? If the ones above are actually a part of day to day culture where you're from then I strongly suggest you move.

    Are you actually serious? These are everyday, common, MODERN happenings. What, you think women don't get raped and then blamed/shamed for it? You think we're not pushed into getting married and popping out children? You think we're not called *kitten* and sluts for every little thing? You think we're not considered "tarnished" if we choose to have pre-marital sex, or dirty slags if we sleep around? You think there aren't groups of people protesting in front of Planned Parenthood who think they have a right to determine what we do with our bodies and trying to shame us for it? You think guys don't shout disgusting things at us from their cars and balconies, or grope us as bars/clubs, and then laugh at our discomfort because "that's cute"? You think we don't get paid less for the same job--and usually a job we're thought to have slept and flirted our way up to?

    I live in good ol' liberal NYC but If anyone should be telling us where they live it's you because apparently you live in fantasy-land where these common things never happen and I'd very much like to move there. Also, could you please tell me where you bought those rose-colored glasses? I'd definitely like my own--yours are perfect.
  • reimaka17
    reimaka17 Posts: 48 Member
    Hmm, that's strange.

    I hate everyone equally, male and female.

    Oh, I do too (well, hate is a rather strong word, but I can't say I like most people all that much, so). I might be aware of sexism, misogyny, and gender expectations that work both ways, but I think men and women are equally awful--to themselves, to each other, and just in general.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Your friend sounds like a butthurt man-child who is used to getting what he wants and now that he's in the real world, he sees that it's not like the little bubble he grew up in, so he's taken on a misogynistic view. He has to blame someone, why not blame women?

    Just my opinion on the matter.

    tumblr_m85bw9fGtf1rqfhi2o1_500.gif
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    1. He's been going on job interviews as well, they were about to hire him until a lesser qualified piece of eye candy came into the picture and got the job instead..this happened to him twice.

    How does he know?

    Personnel files are confidential.

    I have never even seen other candidates for jobs I interviewed for, much less do I know whether they were qualified.
  • jackjb2
    jackjb2 Posts: 83 Member
    What part of the chicken does chicken fingers come from???? I checked and have never found any fingers on chickens Ive seen?????
  • Sinisterly
    Sinisterly Posts: 10,913 Member
    What part of the chicken does chicken fingers come from???? I checked and have never found any fingers on chickens Ive seen?????
    O.o
    What you on? Want.
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Hmm, that's strange.

    I hate everyone equally, male and female.

    Some more than others.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member


    The women probably got hired because they could pay them less.

    Really?

    Don't u have equal opportunity laws and award wages that a qualified person has to be paid the same regardless of gender?

    Not in the US. Women generally get paid 77 cents to a man's dollar even if they're working the same position, pulling the same hours, outputting the same amount of work, etc. You get the idea. Men get paid more, the end. It's 2014 and yet it hasn't been changed. You'd think we were a developed nation...oh, wait.

    Ok.
    I am surprised at that.

    Is taken for granted in Australia that the same position gets paid the same amount, regardless of gender - is illegal to do otherwise.

    Yes, I know average male earnings are still higher than average female earning but this correlates to a range of factors - more women take time out from the workforce to raise children, more women work part time, more women go into lower paid industries etc.
    But Women don't get paid less if they are equally qualified and work the same hours in the same job.

    Most of the time, salaries given are a range, not a specific amount. When I got hired, there was a range listed for the position and they asked me what I wanted. I was stupid and instead of asking for the high end, I asked somewhere in the middle, thinking there would be negotiation.

    A lot of the reason women make less is because they don't ask for more.

    Though since I got hired, they have lowered the range so I now make more than the people who got hired after me. Still, I could probably be making $10K a year more if I'd just asked for it.
  • thelowcarbrecipes
    thelowcarbrecipes Posts: 89 Member
    Ye we are all sexist to some degree, im not saying that I degrade or berate each gender.
    It's mainly the media the portratys the ways in which men and women should act, and just look at all the magazines targeted at women and then look at those targeted at men, quite easy to see how people can read those and think those itdeas are alright.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    -we can't get drunk at bars/clubs for, again, fear of being raped
    -when we are raped we're blamed for leading men on
    -women in the workforce are generally considered to have "slept their way to the top"
    -women in the work place are constantly coddled, underestimated, and dismissed regardless of their ability
    -if a woman has sex before marriage she's ruined, not to mention, y'know, a *kitten*
    -if a woman gets pregnant before marriage it's entirely her fault for not closing her legs
    -women who'd rather a career than raise children are looked down upon and considered selfish
    -women are constantly verbally/emotionally/physically assaulted and we're expected to grin and bear it (street/car calling, wolf whistling, butt slapping, etc)
    -women are expected to marry at a certain age otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women are expected to have children otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women can't even serve their country because the level of sexism and misogyny is the army/military is atrocious
    -women can't sleep around, admit to masturbating, or discuss sex without being considered a *kitten*
    -abortion and birth control. enough said.

    Do you live in the middle ages? The deep south? As part of a religious society? If the ones above are actually a part of day to day culture where you're from then I strongly suggest you move.
    I actually do live in the Deep South, smack in the middle of the Bible Belt. I agree with some of that list to a point, but most of it it ridiculous.

    Maybe in some industries some of that is true. I don't know. All but one of my bosses is female and the one who isn't isn't at the top. And his position was previously held by a woman who left because she got offered a ton of money to go elsewhere and not one person ever even considered sex had anything to do with it. She's a wonderful, capable, highly respected woman.

    The rape stuff, though ... I just lived through the Jameis Winston debacle and the things people said were shameful and disgusting and to this day, really, no one knows what actually happened. Yet the concensus is that she's a lying slut and he's completely innocent.

    We do have to be careful drinking in public. I would never get drunk in public if I wasn't very sure about the people around me. And we have to watch that no one slips anything into our drinks. It does still happen, and a lot.

    However, the marriage and children stuff isn't the big deal it used to be. I'm not going to address every single point. The cat-calling is something you just have to shrug off. It isn't going to stop.
  • Zomoniac
    Zomoniac Posts: 1,169 Member
    Are you actually serious? These are everyday, common, MODERN happenings. What, you think women don't get raped and then blamed/shamed for it?

    Not by decent people. Perhaps by a tiny fascistic subset of people. You seem to be suggesting that every day a majority of people condone rape. Which suggests it's you living in a fantasy land.
    You think we're not pushed into getting married and popping out children?

    By who? I'm 29, the majority of people I know around that age aren't married, nor do any feel under pressure to be. I know many couples who've been together for 5+ years with no plans to marry in the near future or have kids, and nobody cares.
    You think we're not called *kitten* and sluts for every little thing?

    Again, by who? This doesn't happen to anyone I know.
    You think we're not considered "tarnished" if we choose to have pre-marital sex,

    Seriously, who are you spending your time with? To any sane person the whole concept of "saving yourself for marriage" died many decades ago.
    or dirty slags if we sleep around?

    Perhaps, but that applies to both genders.
    You think there aren't groups of people protesting in front of Planned Parenthood who think they have a right to determine what we do with our bodies and trying to shame us for it?

    That's a cultural thing. I live in a country where the vast majority of people are pro choice and it's never been an issue of note.
    You think guys don't shout disgusting things at us from their cars and balconies, or grope us as bars/clubs,

    Yes, that happens. I don't envy you it. Walk away.
    and then laugh at our discomfort because "that's cute"?

    That's just flat out weird. If someone did that I'd have them ejected.
    You think we don't get paid less for the same job--and usually a job we're thought to have slept and flirted our way up to?

    If it's literally the exact same job, then that's illegal here.
  • sheepysaccount
    sheepysaccount Posts: 608 Member
    This is a widely discussed topic, therefore the answers you will get are completely different as well.

    I remember in my philosophy class we had those hardcore feminazis who will tell you that a man is always treated better because he's got a penis. They also complain about the language being biased and so on.
    But I shall just leave it there because those people you cannot reason with.

    Then you'll get those that never actually thought about it, and will drag in every example they can think of where a woman was treated better because she's pretty or she's got boobs.

    However, I would say that both men and women can be sexist. Yes, if a lesser qualified woman get's a job that's sexism because they prefer her for being a woman. Some may call it affirmative action because you should have a certain percentage of women in leadership positions. However, true equality would be achieved by not looking at the gender, but at the qualifications. If the qualifications are equal to both a male and a female, fine, go with the female because you want more women in high positions. But a man should't be snubbed for a job if he's got the better qualifications.

    I also believe that both men and women don't really try to understand the other side. For example, I recently read an article (I think it was even on here) where a man complained to his female friend that it's immensely difficult to find a good woman via internet dating. He ventured to a social experiment in which he created an online profile for a woman and within minutes he had several sexually explicit mails. He then came to the conclusion that women are still seen as objects by many men and deleted his profile.

    In short, yes, I'd say we are still sexist, but there are trends found into several directions. Some try to eliminate those discriminations, some seek to overthrow the order and have females dominate the males, and some will complain just because they can.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    He's a crybaby.

    ^^ This

    :laugh:




    Face it, men and women are different, and while we want equality under the law, and *can* have that, it doesn't mean that all social interactions will always be the same. It's absurd to think that men and women ought to be treated the exact same in all social situations. Treating a man like a man is not being "sexist." It's being honest. Inequality under the law is sexism.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    There is some level of sexism, but there is also bias toward attractive people, in general. If you're an attractive female, most parts of life will be easier for you. But it's a double-edged sword, too, especially in the workplace, where you may be more likely to get hired if you're good-looking, but you're also less likely to be taken seriously because there's a general consensus that an attractive woman is less intelligent and less competent than a woman of average looks.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member


    The women probably got hired because they could pay them less.

    Really?

    Don't u have equal opportunity laws and award wages that a qualified person has to be paid the same regardless of gender?

    Not in the US. Women generally get paid 77 cents to a man's dollar even if they're working the same position, pulling the same hours, outputting the same amount of work, etc. You get the idea. Men get paid more, the end. It's 2014 and yet it hasn't been changed. You'd think we were a developed nation...oh, wait.

    I keep hearing this, but I can only imagine that these jobs are corporate, salaried positions. Having only ever worked for wages, men and women have always made the same pay in the jobs I have held. I wonder where they come up with these stats? Is it from IRS 1040 forms or what?
  • the_texreb
    the_texreb Posts: 138 Member
    a less qualified piece of eye candy? Was he able to see her resume? Maybe she was a more qualified person who also happened to be attractive.

    Sounds like he needs one of these

    butthurt-arizona-anonymous-bill.si.jpg

    After reading this thread, it seems like A LOT of people need one of these.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    So one of my guy friends is starting to hate women because he thinks that everyone treats women so much better than guys. What do you guys think?

    I have a couple examples that he gave me..
    1. He's been going on job interviews as well, they were about to hire him until a lesser qualified piece of eye candy came into the picture and got the job instead..this happened to him twice.
    2. We were at a Spanish deli and we both ordered chicken, rice, and beans. They asked me what part of the chicken I wanted and they didn't ask him. Afterwards he points it out. I told him he should've let them know..he said he was being quiet to prove a point that women are always treated better than men. (Side note a third friend who usually goes to that deli says that they treat you better of you're a woman or speak Spanish so maybe it's based on the place..)

    Do you think we as a society are sexist???

    Oh yeah, women get treated so much better than men! Let me list the ways:
    -rape culture
    -most women can't walk outside at night for fear of being raped (1 in every 6 American women have been the victim of attempted/complete rape in her lifetime)
    -we can't get drunk at bars/clubs for, again, fear of being raped
    -when we are raped we're blamed for leading men on
    -we can't dress provocatively 'cause then we're *kitten* deserving of rape
    -women still make less than men (77 cents to a man's dollar) in the US. Never mind other countries where it's devastating less
    -women in the workforce are generally considered to have "slept their way to the top"
    -women in the work place are constantly coddled, underestimated, and dismissed regardless of their ability
    -women often lose high ranking positions to men despite being of equal/more qualified
    -if a woman has sex before marriage she's ruined, not to mention, y'know, a *kitten*
    -if a woman gets pregnant before marriage it's entirely her fault for not closing her legs
    -women who'd rather a career than raise children are looked down upon and considered selfish
    -women are constantly verbally/emotionally/physically assaulted and we're expected to grin and bear it (street/car calling, wolf whistling, butt slapping, etc)
    -women are expected to marry at a certain age otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women are expected to have children otherwise there's something wrong with them
    -women can't even serve their country because the level of sexism and misogyny is the army/military is atrocious
    -women are expected to be rack thin and dolled up because otherwise we're ugly and plain and lazy
    -women can't sleep around, admit to masturbating, or discuss sex without being considered a *kitten*
    -women are continuously sexually objectified by everyone, but particularly the entertainment industry
    -women who bring these things to light and try to change things (feminists, womanists, etc) are called all number of things, such as: *kitten*, crazies, femi-nazis, radicals, etc. the word "feminist" carries so many negative connotations despite the fact that feminists are the ones who helped us get this far
    -abortion and birth control. enough said.
    -to a lot of people our worth amounts to how much leg and cleavage we show, and how attractive we are
    -the worst insults you could give a man is apparently calling him gay (which, to a lot of people, is synonymous with being girly) or comparing him to a girl
    -ETC, ETC, ETC (because I could seriously go on and on and on and on and on)

    And that's only in the USA.


    Here ya go. So the next time your friend whines about how hard he has it there's a list you can shove at him.


    (BTW: I'm fully aware that gender expectations goes both ways. I could easily make a list of the ways men are mistreated and discriminated against because of stupid social constructs, if anyone would like. It probably wouldn't be as long, but it wouldn't be short, either.)

    Yes, yes. We get it. Your life is so much harder . . .:sad:

    Right. Maybe that lady should get with OP's boyfriend! Stop crying! Learn to laugh. :flowerforyou:
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  • reimaka17
    reimaka17 Posts: 48 Member


    The women probably got hired because they could pay them less.

    Really?

    Don't u have equal opportunity laws and award wages that a qualified person has to be paid the same regardless of gender?

    Not in the US. Women generally get paid 77 cents to a man's dollar even if they're working the same position, pulling the same hours, outputting the same amount of work, etc. You get the idea. Men get paid more, the end. It's 2014 and yet it hasn't been changed. You'd think we were a developed nation...oh, wait.

    Ok.
    I am surprised at that.

    Is taken for granted in Australia that the same position gets paid the same amount, regardless of gender - is illegal to do otherwise.

    Yes, I know average male earnings are still higher than average female earning but this correlates to a range of factors - more women take time out from the workforce to raise children, more women work part time, more women go into lower paid industries etc.
    But Women don't get paid less if they are equally qualified and work the same hours in the same job.


    Our Government Accountability Office (GAO) continues to report that women still make less, even holding the same jobs (full time and year round). While the reasons you listed are accountable for 60% of the difference there is a good 40% that is unaccounted for and wholly unreasonable. It's also statically proven that the wage gap is higher for women of color (69c for African American women and 58c for Latinas/Hispanics, and again, this is for full-time, year round work). In the USA anyway-- I can't speak for other places.

    There are other interesting statistics I've come across (such as that women with children get paid 2.5% less while men with children get paid 2% more (GAO) as some convoluted "boost" and that after our lovely (/sarcasm) recession men were re-employed more frequently (an increase of one million between 2011-2012, whereas the re-employment rate for women remained the same) leaving many women to resort to finding part-time work) but I'd need to check the reports/numbers again before I can officially add those.

    Just to quickly add, I hear a lot of people justify the wage gap by pointing out the differences in male-dominant and female-dominant careers, but I never hear anyone mention anything about the fact that female-dominant jobs/careers are underpaid and undervalued which is a problem on its own and only contributes to the gap. Just some food for thought.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    Personally, I get a little sick of the equality issue and the fact that those who call for equality usually want it tipped a little bit the opposite direction - they don't want equality, they want power of their own, for a while. My own mind set is that their should be blind equality. if two people apply for a scholarship or a college or a job, they should be considered solely on their merit, and whether they get accepted should have absolutely nothing to do with gender or race or religion or sexual orientation or age. In this day and age it makes absolutely no sense to judge someone based on anything other than merit. How anyone is treated should have nothing to do with appearance or beliefs.
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    Hahaha he just loves to complain but it got me thinking...do I get more special treatment then I realized??

    Of course you do, you're an attractive person. I wouldn't call this situation sexism. I would just say that attractive people in general seem to get preferential treatment.
    It's not JUST that you are a woman, because not every woman gets that type of attention. I definitely get treated way differentally now than when I was at a normal weight. I think it's the same for guys. Yeah, a hot guy is going to get more attention from women than an average guy. You know when you see someone you find attractive and you just go :love: ... it's like your hormones go haywire or something.
    People treat people that they find attractive better than those that they don't. IMO, it's as simple as that. Maybe I'm just jaded.
    that's not always true. People can be judged negatively for looks just as they can be judged positively.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    What part of the chicken does chicken fingers come from???? I checked and have never found any fingers on chickens Ive seen?????

    They are from the tender part of the breast. Seriously, you have never made these before? They are yummy with BBQ sauce.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    post-11467-Just-because-you-are-offended-ueJw_zpse538e040.gif

    Love this one! Must cross-post to FB!
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member

    The women probably got hired because they could pay them less.

    Really?

    Don't u have equal opportunity laws and award wages that a qualified person has to be paid the same regardless of gender?

    Yes, we do. In the past, many corporations have been sued for not paying women equally. Claiming a woman will get hired over a man so they can pay them less is just as crazy as OP's boyfriend crying over not getting asked his chicken preferences.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    Tell him to pay for a women's hair cut or women's dry cleaning prices instead of what they charge men. That should make him feel better.