Touchy subject.......Regarding Physical Attraction
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I totally had the hots for my husband(now ex) after we had both put on a bit more weight. Then the attraction waned not because I wasn't attracted to HIM, despite the changes, I still thought he was sexy as hell, but because I didn't like how I looked and felt with MY extra weight. He was always honest with me and when I hit 240 he told me flat out that he was not as attracted to me as he used to be. Which after I put on 80 pounds, to me, was an acceptable thing to say! So I started putting the effort in to lose and he just sat there complaining about his own physical imperfections. So now we are happily divorced! He's lost 25 pounds and I have lost 14 and we both hope for the best for each other.0
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Mine just straight up told me she didn't find me as physically attractive after I had put on about 30 pounds of fat. Straight up told me. That is why I love her, don't have to play mind games with that girl :-). Now its on my end whether or not I feel like I need to do something about that or not. I certainly don't think she was wrong to tell me to my face, quite the opposite...I think it would have been wrong of her not to tell me.
I think this is a lot healthier, then if she would have hid how she felt but for some reason people seem to think I am advocating, cruelty or being mean to your SO or even leaving....which I have never mentioned someone leaving. My marriage is longer than most and we have been very happy, one reason it has worked is honesty and not letting things get to be an issue when it can be dealt with early on.0 -
As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again0
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I admire you a lot for refusing to gain weight and for realizing that you have done a wonderful thing by achieving a healthy weight. I hope your husband will come around and admire your new slim shape. Maybe he needs more time to adjust. I wish you all the best.0
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As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again
Just speaking for myself, money and status in the form of showy items has never been a factor in attraction. I find it perplexing how often I see men in mfp forums saying this.0 -
As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again
Just speaking for myself, money and status in the form of showy items has never been a factor in attraction. I find it perplexing how often I see men in mfp forums saying this.
I agree!!! Never an issue for myself either.0 -
As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again
Just speaking for myself, money and status in the form of showy items has never been a factor in attraction. I find it perplexing how often I see men in mfp forums saying this.
I agree!!! Never an issue for myself either.
Like you, I have also been with my husband for a long time. Known him for half of my life so far (18 years), relationship for 16, married for 14. Met as poor college students, moved on to graduate school with a 1000 dollar car and then no car. We have an amazing relationship. I love him so much. It would be such a turn off if some guy was showing off his watch and car.0 -
As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again
Just speaking for myself, money and status in the form of showy items has never been a factor in attraction. I find it perplexing how often I see men in mfp forums saying this.
I accept not every woman is the same thank god or else the wife would be long gone but if you are honest more woman will choose a relationship where the other half is wealthy than a man would, i see plenty of good looking woman with rich blokes who to be honest are arseholes to boot, the other way round happens a lot less, this is not a insult to all women, after all you could claim men choose women on looks are just as shallow although they have natural instincts on their side0 -
Nothing is sexier than a man who does dishes.0
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Nothing is sexier than a man who does dishes.
not true0 -
Can't speak from personal experience, but I lived with a couple (3 year long term relationship when I moved in) for a few years.
Right before I moved in, the girlfriend began really packing on the pounds and doing little about it. The guy was supportive at first, even said he liked a little extra junk in the trunk. After I moved in though, she became overweight and quickly (within a year) was on the edge of obese...I mean...she gained 50+lbs in one year.
He was no longer sexually attracted to her. At all. Complained about how "unsexy" she was and how bad he felt that he couldn't get it up for her anymore all the time...which was awkward since I was friends with both of them.
They ended up married, but they are already talking about a divorce because of similar issues with sexual attraction.
For some people it really does matter, I guess?0 -
Not at all. What is bad is fat shaming (i.e. bullying) people for their size.
Also when women get pregnant our bodies change and rarely go back to how they were before, so if a man is thin obsessed, he should definitely look into sterilization.
Hahaha... I like your answer.0 -
As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again
Just speaking for myself, money and status in the form of showy items has never been a factor in attraction. I find it perplexing how often I see men in mfp forums saying this.
I accept not every woman is the same thank god or else the wife would be long gone but if you are honest more woman will choose a relationship where the other half is wealthy than a man would, i see plenty of good looking woman with rich blokes who to be honest are arseholes to boot, the other way round happens a lot less, this is not a insult to all women, after all you could claim men choose women on looks are just as shallow although they have natural instincts on their side
Maybe more women are less picky about looks and more often allow a man to treat them badly, but you only notice it when you perceive that the man has money. Just another possibility.
Though I understand that you are not insulting all women (and I would also not insult all men). and of course all people have flaws and stuff, regardless of gender. No gender is perfect. None of us (men or women) should feel threatened as a person just because there are people of our gender that do "bad things" (for lack of a better phrase).0 -
There's nothing anyone can do about physical attraction. If someone puts on or loses a lot of weight, people will lose or gain attraction to that person. This happening doesn't make them a bad person because you don't get to choose who you are physically attracted to. It just isn't a choice.
I completely agree, but would add, to love or not love is a choice, and love is a greater, nobler thing than sexual attraction.0 -
I've known my husband since we were in high school. We're in our mid-50's now and our bodies have been through a lot of changes.
One of many nice thing about intimate relationships is that they are - well, intimate. You experience them close up and personal. And he looks just as good while I'm kissing and snuggling him as he ever did, even if he may not look as good from across the room in bright light wearing shorts, socks, and no shirt.
I also think within reasonable ranges that there are things that everyone of any weight can do to make themselves look more attractive. A gorgeous bathrobe looks good in candelight at any weight. And by the time it's off, you're too close and too involved to care.0 -
As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again
Just speaking for myself, money and status in the form of showy items has never been a factor in attraction. I find it perplexing how often I see men in mfp forums saying this.
I accept not every woman is the same thank god or else the wife would be long gone but if you are honest more woman will choose a relationship where the other half is wealthy than a man would, i see plenty of good looking woman with rich blokes who to be honest are arseholes to boot, the other way round happens a lot less, this is not a insult to all women, after all you could claim men choose women on looks are just as shallow although they have natural instincts on their side
Maybe more women are less picky about looks and more often allow a man to treat them badly, but you only notice it when you perceive that the man has money. Just another possibility.
Though I understand that you are not insulting all women (and I would also not insult all men). and of course all people have flaws and stuff, regardless of gender. No gender is perfect. None of us (men or women) should feel threatened as a person just because there are people of our gender that do "bad things" (for lack of a better phrase).
If you feel the need to defend your own sex no matter what fair enough, a raw nerve has been touched me thinks0 -
My hubby weighed 140lbs when we got married over 12 years ago. He's a teacher, so with job stress and less physical activity, he now hovers around 215-220. Still as sexy as ever!
I'm also a teacher and I totally understand what you mean about stress and less physical activity... I would suggest for him to walk around in class... never sit down when he is teaching... it has worked for me.. I was 216 before i hit this...
@OP and others.. I love my wife... but when i was 216 we didn't have much sex not because she didn't want to (or at least i think so..).. but because I no longer liked who I became...0 -
As a rule men are attracted to the physical so if a woman puts on weight he will find her less attractive, woman are also attracted to the physical and if a man puts on weight she will notice however if he wears a Rolex or drives a Ferrari he suddenly becomes Brad Pitt again
Just speaking for myself, money and status in the form of showy items has never been a factor in attraction. I find it perplexing how often I see men in mfp forums saying this.
I accept not every woman is the same thank god or else the wife would be long gone but if you are honest more woman will choose a relationship where the other half is wealthy than a man would, i see plenty of good looking woman with rich blokes who to be honest are arseholes to boot, the other way round happens a lot less, this is not a insult to all women, after all you could claim men choose women on looks are just as shallow although they have natural instincts on their side
Maybe more women are less picky about looks and more often allow a man to treat them badly, but you only notice it when you perceive that the man has money. Just another possibility.
Though I understand that you are not insulting all women (and I would also not insult all men). and of course all people have flaws and stuff, regardless of gender. No gender is perfect. None of us (men or women) should feel threatened as a person just because there are people of our gender that do "bad things" (for lack of a better phrase).
If you feel the need to defend your own sex no matter what fair enough, a raw nerve has been touched me thinks
What? You aren't so good with people. That is not what I was doing. I see people do that a lot on mfp, so was going out of my way to be clear on that, and clear that I would not do that to men. If you aren't interested in a conversation, that's cool. But, kind of odd to end it like that.
If you disagree with my first suggestion, just say so. I was open to a conversation.0 -
Nothing is sexier than a man who does dishes.
Has nothing to do with the topic but ok. Every man that I know does dishes. So...no.0 -
True love. Your post made me smile.0
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