A question for dads in the dating world

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  • soberlicious
    soberlicious Posts: 121 Member
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    FWIW, i want to say that i do think you have a good head on your shoulders, OP. i'm sorry for judging you on the age difference. my opinion still stands (after all, it's my opinion, not a fact), i'm sure there are exceptions to every rule, and yours might be one of them. good luck to you and yes, a fathers' day gift is totaly appropriate.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    Alright - the question:
    Is it appropriate to get him a gift for Fathers Day?
    If I do, I was thinking of getting him something he could do with his daughter - gift cards for them to go to the movies and get ice cream, or something of that nature. Your thoughts?

    I think it would be an excellent idea.
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
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    am i the only person who thinks it's a tad bizarre that a 37 year old man got into a relationship with a 21 year old girl?

    Seems like she's far more mature than some older people posting in the thread.

    Seconded.


    Also this thread once again proves there is no topic a woman does not feel qualified to give her advice on.

    "Hi, I have a question for dads who are dating.."

    "Well I'm a single, childless female, let me tell you what I think."

    lol
  • lovelyMYlovely
    lovelyMYlovely Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Men get the easy way out???? Ummm....sorry, but that just ain't true. You can have all your bitter anger at men - which CLEARLY comes through in your post - but to say we get the easy way out is crap. I don't get to see my kids every day. I don't get to tuck them in every night. I don't get to pick them up when they fall down or hear them laugh or gets their hugs and kisses. Yes, I can talk to them as much as I want to and yes, I can Facetime with them. But I get them for a few hours every Wednesday night and a couple of weekends a month.

    Do I have more freedom than my ex? Yes, I do. But I would trade it in a heartbeat for some extra time with my kids because my son and daughter are THE most important people in my life. I would love to see them every day and spend time with them every day. But I don't get that opportunity.

    I'm sure it seems to you that your ex is living it up and loving life. Maybe he is. I don't know the guy. But the Sunday afternoons when my ex picks up my kids and takes them back to her house sucks. I go from 48 hours of laughter and smiles and playtime and fun with my kids to the kind of emptiness and loneliness that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    So, by all means, be jealous of your ex and his freedom if you like. Or, if you're that upset about it, offer to trade custodial time with your ex. But don't you DARE say that men have it easier just because we have a little more spare time. Our hearts are ripped out of our chests every time we see our kids drive away. That's about as far from easy as it gets.


    I wish my kids had a father like you...he is one of those parents that could care less unfortunately, good luck to you!

    the male who posted that is one in a hundred :) I respect you.... the user who posted after that is living in the real world lol. and clearly understands how most guys are.... MOST guys get the easy way out... MOST guys do not care....

    this is NOT about the OP she is actually smart... she is! her life is going to be a breeze.. but not everyone falls in love with an older man some people take risks with someone in the same age group... and then when that happens and you get burned its not a happy feeling.. especially when kids are involved...

    so just because I stated what everyone else did not want to hear does NOT make me a bad person... I just wish more men cared about the feelings of the woman whom they decided to have children with... THATS IT... more men need to care... and wonder if dating that 22 year old is REALLY the best thing for his daughter... gosh..
  • Chezzie84
    Chezzie84 Posts: 873 Member
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    lol going out saying im not a nice person is VERY far fetched.. you also do not know me... you do not know what i have accomplished in life. you do not know how many good-or bad deeds i have done... i do know.. that this 38 year old man is with a 22 year old who has no kids.. no experience to relate to... no experience to even handle this situation. she might have had brothers or sisters but that is no where the same... as raising a child.. taking in a child as your own... i am looking at this from the opposite perspective. the side that no one is looking at... so if im wrong for pointing out a side that no one likes to see than i don't see how its my problem... because its true... i may have put it harshly... but i am not the first one who thought this... im just the first one who said something..

    I don't think it's far fetched. I think you are a nasty, bitter person.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    am i the only person who thinks it's a tad bizarre that a 37 year old man got into a relationship with a 21 year old girl?

    Seems like she's far more mature than some older people posting in the thread.

    Seconded.


    Also this thread once again proves there is no topic a woman does not feel qualified to give her advice on.

    "Hi, I have a question for dads who are dating.."

    "Well I'm a single, childless female, let me tell you what I think."
    ha! I gave up pointing that out a long time ago....and you're right, doesn't matter what the topic is
    \m/

    How many men post on "ladies only" topics?
  • IPAkiller
    IPAkiller Posts: 711 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Wow, I have no responce to this that wouldn't warrant me a strike from the Mods. I'll I'm going to say is, "Bless your Heart... that little tiny black piece of coal you call a heart."
  • calibriintx
    calibriintx Posts: 1,741 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Still not over the breakup, huh?

    slide_324049_3086657_free.gif
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Options
    am i the only person who thinks it's a tad bizarre that a 37 year old man got into a relationship with a 21 year old girl?

    Seems like she's far more mature than some older people posting in the thread.

    Seconded.


    Also this thread once again proves there is no topic a woman does not feel qualified to give her advice on.

    "Hi, I have a question for dads who are dating.."

    "Well I'm a single, childless female, let me tell you what I think."
    ha! I gave up pointing that out a long time ago....and you're right, doesn't matter what the topic is
    \m/

    How many men post on "ladies only" topics?

    Plenty do in a tongue-in- cheek manner. The BSC this thread pulled, however, is impressive
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    This is one of those threads that makes me wish we could "like" forum posts.
  • delicious_cocktail
    delicious_cocktail Posts: 5,797 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    What's the matter with a weird fetish thing?????
  • tehboxingkitteh
    tehboxingkitteh Posts: 1,574 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    You are psychotic.
    Coming from a single mom, who was left during her pregnancy for a younger woman, and now in my 30s with an elementary aged child... I have no issues finding men to date, or with the fact that he wanted someone else.

    OP, I think it's a great idea to help the daughter get, or make him a present.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Men get the easy way out???? Ummm....sorry, but that just ain't true. You can have all your bitter anger at men - which CLEARLY comes through in your post - but to say we get the easy way out is crap. I don't get to see my kids every day. I don't get to tuck them in every night. I don't get to pick them up when they fall down or hear them laugh or gets their hugs and kisses. Yes, I can talk to them as much as I want to and yes, I can Facetime with them. But I get them for a few hours every Wednesday night and a couple of weekends a month.

    Do I have more freedom than my ex? Yes, I do. But I would trade it in a heartbeat for some extra time with my kids because my son and daughter are THE most important people in my life. I would love to see them every day and spend time with them every day. But I don't get that opportunity.

    I'm sure it seems to you that your ex is living it up and loving life. Maybe he is. I don't know the guy. But the Sunday afternoons when my ex picks up my kids and takes them back to her house sucks. I go from 48 hours of laughter and smiles and playtime and fun with my kids to the kind of emptiness and loneliness that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    So, by all means, be jealous of your ex and his freedom if you like. Or, if you're that upset about it, offer to trade custodial time with your ex. But don't you DARE say that men have it easier just because we have a little more spare time. Our hearts are ripped out of our chests every time we see our kids drive away. That's about as far from easy as it gets.


    I wish my kids had a father like you...he is one of those parents that could care less unfortunately, good luck to you!

    the male who posted that is one in a hundred :) I respect you.... the user who posted after that is living in the real world lol. and clearly understands how most guys are.... MOST guys get the easy way out... MOST guys do not care....

    this is NOT about the OP she is actually smart... she is! her life is going to be a breeze.. but not everyone falls in love with an older man some people take risks with someone in the same age group... and then when that happens and you get burned its not a happy feeling.. especially when kids are involved...

    so just because I stated what everyone else did not want to hear does NOT make me a bad person... I just wish more men cared about the feelings of the woman whom they decided to have children with... THATS IT... more men need to care... and wonder if dating that 22 year old is REALLY the best thing for his daughter... gosh..

    Not saying you are a bad person, but I would love to see the research that makes you an authority on what "most men" are like.
  • firfeous
    firfeous Posts: 196 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Men get the easy way out???? Ummm....sorry, but that just ain't true. You can have all your bitter anger at men - which CLEARLY comes through in your post - but to say we get the easy way out is crap. I don't get to see my kids every day. I don't get to tuck them in every night. I don't get to pick them up when they fall down or hear them laugh or gets their hugs and kisses. Yes, I can talk to them as much as I want to and yes, I can Facetime with them. But I get them for a few hours every Wednesday night and a couple of weekends a month.

    Do I have more freedom than my ex? Yes, I do. But I would trade it in a heartbeat for some extra time with my kids because my son and daughter are THE most important people in my life. I would love to see them every day and spend time with them every day. But I don't get that opportunity.

    I'm sure it seems to you that your ex is living it up and loving life. Maybe he is. I don't know the guy. But the Sunday afternoons when my ex picks up my kids and takes them back to her house sucks. I go from 48 hours of laughter and smiles and playtime and fun with my kids to the kind of emptiness and loneliness that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    So, by all means, be jealous of your ex and his freedom if you like. Or, if you're that upset about it, offer to trade custodial time with your ex. But don't you DARE say that men have it easier just because we have a little more spare time. Our hearts are ripped out of our chests every time we see our kids drive away. That's about as far from easy as it gets.


    I wish my kids had a father like you...he is one of those parents that could care less unfortunately, good luck to you!

    the male who posted that is one in a hundred :)

    how do you know that? did you get that statistic from a study? DYES?
  • ew_david
    ew_david Posts: 3,473 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    You really are lovely.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    You are a special special person.

    Did you ever stop to think maybe the wife left him and he found and fell in love with a woman who happens to be younger? no where in this post did she say he left his wife and child so he could run around with a 22 year old woman. NO WHERE.

    It is NOT ALWAYS harder on the mother, my brother is a single father, his ex left him and their child for another man. My brother was left with a daughter and no home. So please do not just say the woman always has it harder. I know many single fathers that have had this happen.

    I think you need to pull your head out of where ever it is lodged and stop projectile vomiting in this forum with useless answers.

    OP I think it is wonderful you want to get him something for fathers day, especially something that he can include his daughter in. Kudos for being such a mature woman at such a young age.
  • ChefTJP
    ChefTJP Posts: 108 Member
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    totally appropriate.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Men get the easy way out???? Ummm....sorry, but that just ain't true. You can have all your bitter anger at men - which CLEARLY comes through in your post - but to say we get the easy way out is crap. I don't get to see my kids every day. I don't get to tuck them in every night. I don't get to pick them up when they fall down or hear them laugh or gets their hugs and kisses. Yes, I can talk to them as much as I want to and yes, I can Facetime with them. But I get them for a few hours every Wednesday night and a couple of weekends a month.

    Do I have more freedom than my ex? Yes, I do. But I would trade it in a heartbeat for some extra time with my kids because my son and daughter are THE most important people in my life. I would love to see them every day and spend time with them every day. But I don't get that opportunity.

    I'm sure it seems to you that your ex is living it up and loving life. Maybe he is. I don't know the guy. But the Sunday afternoons when my ex picks up my kids and takes them back to her house sucks. I go from 48 hours of laughter and smiles and playtime and fun with my kids to the kind of emptiness and loneliness that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    So, by all means, be jealous of your ex and his freedom if you like. Or, if you're that upset about it, offer to trade custodial time with your ex. But don't you DARE say that men have it easier just because we have a little more spare time. Our hearts are ripped out of our chests every time we see our kids drive away. That's about as far from easy as it gets.


    I wish my kids had a father like you...he is one of those parents that could care less unfortunately, good luck to you!

    the male who posted that is one in a hundred :) I respect you.... the user who posted after that is living in the real world lol. and clearly understands how most guys are.... MOST guys get the easy way out... MOST guys do not care....

    this is NOT about the OP she is actually smart... she is! her life is going to be a breeze.. but not everyone falls in love with an older man some people take risks with someone in the same age group... and then when that happens and you get burned its not a happy feeling.. especially when kids are involved...

    so just because I stated what everyone else did not want to hear does NOT make me a bad person... I just wish more men cared about the feelings of the woman whom they decided to have children with... THATS IT... more men need to care... and wonder if dating that 22 year old is REALLY the best thing for his daughter... gosh..

    You are miserable and want others to be as miserable as you are. That's why you attacked the OP, back-tracked after everyone pointed out that she was not in any way any of the things you described her as, and then paid a sideways compliment/insult by saying "she is smart because she has picked an older man. her life will be so easy now."

    No, most men are not like this. My boyfriend raises his children because their pathetic excuse of a mother wanted it easy and wanted to party while playing "mommy" on the weekends. You should not generalize half the population on the fact that you chose poorly when it came to who you had children with.

    You are not a bad person. You are just a miserable, lonely, sad person.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Options
    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Run off with a younger woman? Wife being CRAZY couldn't have anything to do with it? Maybe he left for his sanity...
  • SunofaBeach14
    SunofaBeach14 Posts: 4,899 Member
    Options
    I can only imagine how devastated the daughters mother is.... he is 38..... has an 8 year old..... you are 22..... no kids.... oh gosh....

    I AM a mother... of 2... so... if this situation happened to me... I would NOT be happy... sucks everything is ALWAYS harder on the mother than the father... he gets to run away with his 22 year old teenie beanie girlfriend getting partial custody sitting around having the best time of his life... while she.... is probably miserable thinking about how her husband left her for a freakin 22 year old with no kids!

    you.. my friend will never understand the pain... it SUCKS how men get the easy way out... but when woman with children age.. grow old.... no man wants them.... unless they have some weird fetish thing... this is what the world is coming to!!

    just so you know.. when you were 3 years old he was 19!!!
    gold--- trigger? ---- gold---- diggggggg? what? im probably gonna get all this hate just from stating the truth... sorry... but its true...

    Men get the easy way out???? Ummm....sorry, but that just ain't true. You can have all your bitter anger at men - which CLEARLY comes through in your post - but to say we get the easy way out is crap. I don't get to see my kids every day. I don't get to tuck them in every night. I don't get to pick them up when they fall down or hear them laugh or gets their hugs and kisses. Yes, I can talk to them as much as I want to and yes, I can Facetime with them. But I get them for a few hours every Wednesday night and a couple of weekends a month.

    Do I have more freedom than my ex? Yes, I do. But I would trade it in a heartbeat for some extra time with my kids because my son and daughter are THE most important people in my life. I would love to see them every day and spend time with them every day. But I don't get that opportunity.

    I'm sure it seems to you that your ex is living it up and loving life. Maybe he is. I don't know the guy. But the Sunday afternoons when my ex picks up my kids and takes them back to her house sucks. I go from 48 hours of laughter and smiles and playtime and fun with my kids to the kind of emptiness and loneliness that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

    So, by all means, be jealous of your ex and his freedom if you like. Or, if you're that upset about it, offer to trade custodial time with your ex. But don't you DARE say that men have it easier just because we have a little more spare time. Our hearts are ripped out of our chests every time we see our kids drive away. That's about as far from easy as it gets.

    Damn fine post. I got to tell my nephew all about his dad, who he hadn't seen since he was a toddler, at my brother's funeral 20 years after his wife ran off with their son. I just love the vindictive types . . .
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