how would you feel?

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  • bethyv1030
    bethyv1030 Posts: 226 Member
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    I would be hurt that he didn't consider your feelings when you told him you didn't want him to go. That's not fair in any situation if he's blowing off your feelings. I think it depends whether he was going for like a birthday guys night out or bachelor party, or if he was just going to get out of the house alone. Strips clubs are fun and all but I never get why guys want to pay to see chicks shake their boobs in their face when they can do that with their women for free at home. Not to mention actually being able to touch their women and end with a good night if they're lucky. Strippers just tease and take your money then move on to the next guy. But all in all I would talk to your guy and let him know how you feel and work it out. You have his baby coming after all. Good luck

    Ok as I did more reading I see that he came home drunk making noise waking kids and then pushed you which resulted in a knot on your head. Really? This went downhill right there. It's not about disrespect anymore or even the strip club. If he is putting his hands on you then you should get outta there ASAP. Coming from someone who's seen their mom get abused to almost an inch of her life and continue to make excuses and be with their man. Please seek help. It will only get worse if you don't put a stop to it. Any man who would put their hands on a woman, especially their pregnant girl is not a man at all!!
  • jwooley13
    jwooley13 Posts: 243
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    Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.

    Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?

    You should stop posting.

    you should learn how to follow a storyline

    She never once said she pushed him. She said she nudged him away to keep a drunk off her kids. You want to use that as justification for him knocking her to the ground while she's pregnant?

    I've gone over this twice now to remove all the choice things I really want to say to you. Because I'm sure you'd report me like the..person you are.

    Knocking a pregnant woman to the ground is not ok. Ever. Is any part of that unclear to you?

    Where did I ever say it was? I was simply pointing out that you were incorrect.

    nudge verb \ˈnəj\
    : to touch or push (someone or something) gently

    Once you "nudge too hard" the "gently" part of the definition is gone and all that's left is a push ..

    Congratulations. You're a pedant. You can shut up now.

    The guy who can't get the story right, can't get the timeline correct, and is raging at the boyfriend is telling *me* I can shut up? You should never have started talking there, spanky.

    popcorn-yes.gif
  • srslybritt
    srslybritt Posts: 1,618 Member
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    Good lord, this thread escalated quickly, yet somehow devolved into some kind of ridiculous grammar lesson at the same time. Shoving your partner is never okay. Shoving your PREGNANT WIFE is even moreso never okay. Why does it matter what definitions you put on her actions? Trying to get her drunk husband away from her kids warranted her being knocked to the ground, endangering the life of her unborn child? Get a clue, homeskillet.

    OP, you know the truth of your situation. If you feel you are in any kind of danger, I truly hope you seek the help to remedy that danger. If you choose to try to work things out because this is a first (and hopefully only) time thing, that's your choice. You are an adult and seem capable of making up your own mind.

    ETA: "Spanky" as an insult? I think someone has a crush.
  • PrettyPearl88
    PrettyPearl88 Posts: 368 Member
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    Ok ladies would you feel if you were at home pregnant and your partner went to the strippers when you specifically asked them not to?

    And guys what do you think from a man's point of view?

    I know I'm probably in the minority here, but I would never be okay with a significant other going to a strip club. I think it's just plain disrespectful to purposely ogle and lust over others when you're in a relationship with someone.

    That being said, I also don't believe in "trying to change your man." I accept and respect a man I'm with as he is. So I would never be with a man who thought nothing of going to a strip club while he has a wife or girlfriend anyway.

    But, like I said, I'm probably in the minority here. :tongue:
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    If you really truly love him, and really truly think this push was a one time accident I'd suggest some serious counseling alone and together. Alone to make sure you really want to stay with him and that it's healthy to stay with him for you and your children (and maybe touch on the low self esteem thing). Couples counseling to bring up and address the push (DO NOT MAKE LIGHT OF THAT, THIS IS THE BIGGEST ISSUE YOU HAVE), the trust issues, and the drinking. Also some alone counseling for him to discuss anger management and drinking issues.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    Let me know when we're done making excuses for the drunk who knocks down his pregnant wife and heads to the titty bar.

    Heads to the titty bar, comes home, and knocks down his wife. Jesus, are you even paying attention to this?

    Are you? It seems like you are missing the point here and just being argumentative by focusing on this particular detail.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    PLOT


    TWIST



    He got a Mr T haircut at the strip club? Did anyone see that coming? Anyone?

    NOPE!!!! *WHACK* Foul ball!
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
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    the club and the hair are the last of your worries. If he's resorted to violence get out.
    It sounds like this isn't healthy for either of you.


    Take care.

    so... your troll senses aren't tingling? Mine are buzzing like a live wire...
    who knows. MFP is a mixed bag.

    true.dat

    this one though, feels faker then a set of fakies. It's coming across to me as dirty play that's making light of people who do have to live through that.

    I've lived through it and this whole thread is a little confusing.
  • wolfsbayne
    wolfsbayne Posts: 3,116 Member
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    -No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it.

    SO much THIS..Been there, done that, have all the souvenirs.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
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    -No matter how sorry he says he is and how much you believe it, he won't stop doing it.

    SO much THIS..Been there, done that, have all the souvenirs.

    Same here. In most cases, it only gets worse. Of course, I didn't share any kids with my ex, so I just left him with no strings attached.
  • TinaRose07
    TinaRose07 Posts: 36 Member
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    I think it is disrespectful for a married man to be going to a strip club.
  • JodieP13
    JodieP13 Posts: 94 Member
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    Would that be a *kitten*-cut?
  • anewdesign
    anewdesign Posts: 187 Member
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    Was this a planned event like a bachelor's party where the strip club was just part of the night? Or did your partner call a friend and say "hey let's hit the titty bar tonight?"

    Makes a difference - if it's the first scenario, you should lighten up a little. If it's the second, then it's a d*ck move on your partner's part.

    agreed.
  • BlueEyed_Beauty
    BlueEyed_Beauty Posts: 18
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    I know you are hurt with the whole issue of the titty bar and felt disrespected, but what really bothers me is the fact that he pushed you. I know you said you nudged him first and even if he was drunk it is no excuse for him to push you that hard. I know you love him and believe it is a one time act. I am hoping you are right, but if this starts a pattern please leave with the kids. I was never beat, but I seen it happen to my best friend and no woman should go through that.
  • skrlec70
    skrlec70 Posts: 302 Member
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    pregnant or not , if I asked him to not go and he went , when he got home there would be no sign of me, disrespectful sob.
    and what he pushed you? sweet lord the man would be 6 feet under
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
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    Nothing sinister happened:smile: we were angry things were said he pushed me I fell over and hit my head and now have a little egg :grumble: really super angry about that part because he could has done some serious damage seeing as I'm pregnant.
    In saying that I was kinda trying to usher him out of the room because he woke the kids up raising his voice and was scaring them. So I may have nudged a little harder then I rrealised and he pushed back but still........

    SO NOT COOL!!!!!!!!!:angry:
  • AllOutof_Bubblegum
    AllOutof_Bubblegum Posts: 3,646 Member
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    I would not have "specifically asked him not to" in the first place. I trust my husband to make the right decisions no matter where he is, and if he wants to go to a tittie bar, fine. I know he's not going to do anything that would betray my trust, so I'm cool.

    Being pregnant has absolutely nothing to do with it. It shouldn't make any difference one way or the other, unless you have self esteem issues, which, if you do, that's your problem to work on and you shouldn't punish your husband by projecting that onto him.
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
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    Like I said I don't blame you for not believing me :-) it's crazy. I really wish I was that good of a story maker but I'm not.

    As for the advice from everyone not only you. Thankyou.very much. Really the only part I was gunna post was the original question. When someone said something about the full story and how it makes a difference to the answer I thought yea it does so.. I wasn't even going to mention the part about him pushing me because although I'm really angry and it's not aacceptable I really don't believe he meant to hurt me.

    ETA: I accidentally pushed the post button. As I was saying I don't believe he meant to hurt me. This has never really happened before. I think when he's pushed me he hasn't realised his own strength in a way and I've fallen and hit my head. Also when I say I was trying to get him away from the kids he would never hurt them just as I believe he would never hurt me. However since the kids were asleep and the yelling woke them up they were scared ****less (as anybody would be being woken up that way) so I tried to move it elsewhere away from them.

    The part I bolded stands out to me. It sounds like when an emotionally abused woman "stands by her man" with the words, "Well, he's never actually hit me."

    I was one of those women many years ago. Guess what? He pushed me twice, but never really hit me. Our relationship ended 14 years ago, but last year he served 90 days for domestic violence against his girlfriend. So... *shrug* Point being, it rarely changes and usually escalates over time when no counseling is involved. You have two children and another one on the way with this man...think of them if you can't think of your own safety. Please get some help. Best of luck to you.
  • altarimage
    altarimage Posts: 95 Member
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    Ok ladies would you feel if you were at home pregnant and your partner went to the strippers when you specifically asked them not to?

    And guys what do you think from a man's point of view?

    Did he say WHAT kind of strip club this was?

    tumblr_n2h163c4qk1rz5rano6_250.gif

    It's always a good topic when Supernatural is brought into it :) But OP, personally I wouldn't care about my fiance going to a strip club because I've been to one myself and didn't tell him till afterwards (he was a little weary about it but not mad or anything, also I was DD which was why I was there in the first place) but then again he's not the kind of guy that would go anyways (he made his groomsmen swear they wouldn't take him to one). But that's just my opinion. As far as what he did about saying he wouldn't and then going, yeah I'd be really f-ing pissed.
  • KseRz
    KseRz Posts: 980 Member
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    this thread was fun/funny, until i got to the part where he pushes his pregnant wife, who falls and bumps her head.

    this thread went from :| to :D to >:(

    OP, your husband sounds like a ****, and having the opportunity to make him eat his teeth would bring me joy.
    i'm sorry the whole strip club incident happened to you, but i hope you see that you have revealed a much MUCH bigger issue than his deceit and stupid haircut.
    do you have any friends or family you can reach out to regarding this?
    please dont let this slide. no one deserves the treatment you got.

    Whuut? OP You posted asking a question. Please follow ^^ THIS advice. Who else knows about this that has access to your boyfriend's neck and kneecaps? After appropriate action for behavior correction, looking like Mister T should be his least concern.

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