OK Ladies...Be HONEST!!
Replies
-
im a larger lady so I wnt be looked at, unless its a 'look at the fatty over there ' look
but if I was lucky enough to be looked I wudnt care0 -
Most of the creeps are young pervs,lol. The old ones are too old to go to the gym.0
-
as everything with us ladies, it can go either way.. lol.
sometimes it is totally motivating that a hottie is checking you out...
but then it can also make you feel all self conscious and make you lose your focus.
i agree that if we think you are attractive then we probably like it more.. if we deem you unattractive we think you are a total creeper and it makes us uncomfortable.
im socially awkward so it would most likely end with me totally running away as i dont like knowing im in the spotlight in those situations.. also sometimes we think you have to be looking at us negatively instead of look at her she is a badass and totally hot.0 -
I think it depends on two things. 1) Who is doing the looking and 2) for how long. If you're twice her age and you're staring for a long time, it's creepy. If you simply glance at her and give her a quick smile and move on, it's pretty innocent.
It shoudn't matter if you're a man, a woman, young or old. No one likes to be stared at for a long period of time.0 -
If I am at the gym it is to work out, not to be ogled. Then again, I don't like being stared at anywhere. Staring is rude. I can't tell you where to direct your eyes and it is natural to look at others, but after a few seconds it's time to move your eyes along.
If you really feel drawn to hit on someone at the gym you should try to catch them on their way out. Don't interrupt their routine.0 -
Most guys in the gym aren't like that. They just wanna workout and dream about winning the olympics or Olympia,lol. I also have a friend that likes body building and he says that women stare non stop at him. So he puts his hoodie on and music in and keeps his head down. He said in the beginning it was okay but now it gets on his nerves.
Me, I just wanna not be bothered and workout.0 -
I would totally think they were staring because I am disgusting as I have a pretty poor self image. That would make me uncomfortable. I could also see how it may make some more attractive women uncomfortable as well. I'd say a glance would be fine for anyone, but no staring under any circumstances.0
-
No matter how long I work out I'll always think I'm disgusting. So if someone stared I would think negative of it.0
-
I think it's OK as long as she doesn't notice it. If you know the girl I think she wouldn't mind, but if you don't know her you might wanna be careful in case she is self conscious or something.0
-
As the person who started this post....This is for sure not where I thought this would go. I was not inquiring about rape culture! But I guess in the overly sensitive world in which we now live I should have saw this coming.
Of course not. You most likely don't really know what "rape culture" is. You are assuming it's just people being "overly sensitive". Have you read this yet? Really. Read it. It's written by a man.
https://medium.com/human-parts/a-gentlemens-guide-to-rape-culture-7fc86c50dc4c
Some highlights:I don’t know about you, but I don’t spend much of my life feeling vulnerable. I’ve come to learn that women spend most of their social lives with ever-present, unavoidable feelings of vulnerability. Stop and think about that. Imagine always feeling like you could be at risk, like you were living with glass skin.
I rarely ever fear for my safety. Many men know exactly what I mean. Most women have no idea what that feels like — to go wherever you want in the world, at any time of day or night, and feel you won’t have a problem. In fact, many women have the exact opposite experience.
A woman must consider where she is going, what time of day it is, what time she will arrive at her destination and what time she will leave her destination, what day of the week is it, if she will be left alone at any point … the considerations go on and on because they are far more numerous than you or I can imagine. Honestly, I can’t conceive of having to think that much about what I need to do to protect myself at any given moment in my life. I relish the freedom of getting up and going, day or night, rain or shine, Westside or downtown. As men we can enjoy this particular extreme luxury of movement and freedom of choice. In order to understand rape culture, remember this is a freedom that at least half the population doesn’t enjoy.
I'll pass on reading it. I have no issues in my life with how I treat women. I have pretty much always been considerate of anyones feelings. ( man or woman) When I started this post .... rape culture had nothing at all to do with it.
It's nice that you have the power to decide when and if rape culture has an impact on what you chose to say and do. I can't tell somebody that I got up early to run without rape culture having an impact on the conversation. And it's not the women who are most likely to bring my safety into question.
There's a word for that gap, you know.0 -
I say the ones that are scantily dressed with nice bodies want to be looked at. I mean why go through all the trouble of working out if you don't want to be looked at. Then again, I think we all like to be admired, but not ogled.
I also think that there is a scale of scantily clad. There is "my t!ts are popping out, hee hee" and then there is "I'm wearing this little tank top because I get really hot and I hate when my T-shirt sticks to me."
When I had a smoking body, I would wear regular tank tops or short sleeved t-shirts in my size and leggings. I liked to look at myself in the mirror when I was on the treadmill becasue I liked to see the muscles of my arms and abs in movement. You know, pride of body, etc.
But, I ain't gonna front. If some nice looking guy was checking me out, I'd be flattered but that's it. I wouldn't be all, "OOOH, hee hee, maybe I should give him my number."
The human body is a work of art, especially when it's in great shape. I don't ogle but if a hot body walks by, I notice and keep it moving.0 -
Most guys in the gym aren't like that. They just wanna workout and dream about winning the olympics or Olympia,lol. I also have a friend that likes body building and he says that women stare non stop at him. So he puts his hoodie on and music in and keeps his head down. He said in the beginning it was okay but now it gets on his nerves.
Me, I just wanna not be bothered and workout.
I think that's true of everybody regardless of gender.
Most *people* aren't like that.
*People* just want to work out.
It's ok sometimes, but it gets on the nerves of *people* to be stared at all the time.
You don't really need to ask this question of WOMEN.
When and where do *you* like being looked at? Do you think everybody feels the same?0 -
I just find the treadmill behind this, get on, and chase.......
I prefer men but even I would check that out :laugh:
Straight girls can appreciate a nice butt, too, ya know
One word: JEALOUS!!!!
Yeah that's certainly a backside to strive for
^THIS^
That's interesting....I saw a documentary about how peoples gaits change deending on who is looking at them. I'm sure if she was just walking down the corridor to the laundry room in her building, she wouldn;t walk like that.
But, she looks good, that's the truth.0 -
No matter how long I work out I'll always think I'm disgusting. So if someone stared I would think negative of it.
And that's why you have a picture of your terrific back as a profile picture? Because you don't want to be stared at?0 -
Most guys in the gym aren't like that. They just wanna workout and dream about winning the olympics or Olympia,lol. I also have a friend that likes body building and he says that women stare non stop at him. So he puts his hoodie on and music in and keeps his head down. He said in the beginning it was okay but now it gets on his nerves.
Me, I just wanna not be bothered and workout.
I think that's true of everybody regardless of gender.
Most *people* aren't like that.
*People* just want to work out.
It's ok sometimes, but it gets on the nerves of *people* to be stared at all the time.
You don't really need to ask this question of WOMEN.
When and where do *you* like being looked at? Do you think everybody feels the same?
I love being analyzed(not). Was that a shot? Now I feel offended,ugh! I feel like I'm being attacked.
Just kidding.....Smile0 -
Most guys in the gym aren't like that. They just wanna workout and dream about winning the olympics or Olympia,lol. I also have a friend that likes body building and he says that women stare non stop at him. So he puts his hoodie on and music in and keeps his head down. He said in the beginning it was okay but now it gets on his nerves.
Me, I just wanna not be bothered and workout.
I think that's true of everybody regardless of gender.
Most *people* aren't like that.
*People* just want to work out.
It's ok sometimes, but it gets on the nerves of *people* to be stared at all the time.
You don't really need to ask this question of WOMEN.
When and where do *you* like being looked at? Do you think everybody feels the same?
I love being analyzed(not). Was that a shot? Now I feel offended,ugh! I feel like I'm being attacked.
Just kidding.....Smile
Not at all. I thought your statement was insightful. I was just broadening the insight.
Now, the post made at 2:22. THAT was an analysis/shot.0 -
No matter how long I work out I'll always think I'm disgusting. So if someone stared I would think negative of it.
And that's why you have a picture of your terrific back as a profile picture? Because you don't want to be stared at?
Thats why its of the back. That is my best pic. I have Dunlap syndrome. My stomach done lapped over my belt. What you see
in the pic is not what I think. My Ex gave me a self image issue. Never good enough for her. This is a site for fitness, you should of seen me 2 years ago. What anyone thinks looks good on me I won't ever think it is.0 -
Admiration = hell yes
Rapey eyes = fu*k you0 -
As the person who started this post....This is for sure not where I thought this would go. I was not inquiring about rape culture! But I guess in the overly sensitive world in which we now live I should have saw this coming.
Of course not. You most likely don't really know what "rape culture" is. You are assuming it's just people being "overly sensitive". Have you read this yet? Really. Read it. It's written by a man.
https://medium.com/human-parts/a-gentlemens-guide-to-rape-culture-7fc86c50dc4c
Some highlights:I don’t know about you, but I don’t spend much of my life feeling vulnerable. I’ve come to learn that women spend most of their social lives with ever-present, unavoidable feelings of vulnerability. Stop and think about that. Imagine always feeling like you could be at risk, like you were living with glass skin.
I rarely ever fear for my safety. Many men know exactly what I mean. Most women have no idea what that feels like — to go wherever you want in the world, at any time of day or night, and feel you won’t have a problem. In fact, many women have the exact opposite experience.
A woman must consider where she is going, what time of day it is, what time she will arrive at her destination and what time she will leave her destination, what day of the week is it, if she will be left alone at any point … the considerations go on and on because they are far more numerous than you or I can imagine. Honestly, I can’t conceive of having to think that much about what I need to do to protect myself at any given moment in my life. I relish the freedom of getting up and going, day or night, rain or shine, Westside or downtown. As men we can enjoy this particular extreme luxury of movement and freedom of choice. In order to understand rape culture, remember this is a freedom that at least half the population doesn’t enjoy.
I'll pass on reading it. I have no issues in my life with how I treat women. I have pretty much always been considerate of anyones feelings. ( man or woman) When I started this post .... rape culture had nothing at all to do with it.
Oh but it did. You just didn't realize it. And now you are refusing to take 5 minutes to educate yourself on the subject.
I read the article. I'm not happy being lumped in with rapists because I am a man. I was take the worst example from eery group then should all women be viewed as Lorena Bobbit or one of those teachers that were having sex with teen age boys. If someone saw me on the street they would see a pretty normal laid back guy. I look like that everyday.. Im friendly and don't see why I have to go out of my way to let anyone know I am there. The author talks about getting involved...he's nuts and will probably end up getting a beating or shot. Don't get me wrong I'll be observant and if it gets in anyway physical I'm in there. I'm not so sure if its rape culture or a culture of fear. There is enough scary **** out there...I don't want to have to eyeball everyone I see. Maybe I'm not taking the right approach to this but I consider myself a good and decent person. I will sometimes make off color comments or tell a dirty joke but I don't think that shold be how I am judged. I appreciate your views and may agree with some but not all of them.0 -
No matter how long I work out I'll always think I'm disgusting. So if someone stared I would think negative of it.
And that's why you have a picture of your terrific back as a profile picture? Because you don't want to be stared at?
Also that runs along the same lines as men saying you want to be looked at if you are dressed sexy or revealing. I should be offended then by your statement?0 -
Thats why its of the back. That is my best pic. I have Dunlap syndrome. My stomach done lapped over my belt. What you see
in the pic is not what I think. My Ex gave me a self image issue. Never good enough for her. This is a site for fitness, you should of seen me 2 years ago. What anyone thinks looks good on me I won't ever think it is.
I'm really sorry to hear that. You seem like an intelligent, down to Earth guy with a well toned back. It can take a lot of time and effort to regain your confidence after a bad relationship (I've been there). I wish you all the luck in the world.0 -
It would completely depend on what mood I'm in. Sometimes it's kind of fun to notice some guy looking at me (briefly only though!). Long stares are gross. A smile is welcome.
Sometimes though I just want to be left alone and I will be annoyed at any attention anyone gives me.
^^^^^^THIS! :blushing: :bigsmile:0 -
Thats why its of the back. That is my best pic. I have Dunlap syndrome. My stomach done lapped over my belt. What you see
in the pic is not what I think. My Ex gave me a self image issue. Never good enough for her. This is a site for fitness, you should of seen me 2 years ago. What anyone thinks looks good on me I won't ever think it is.
I'm really sorry to hear that. You seem like an intelligent, down to Earth guy with a well toned back. It can take a lot of time and effort to regain your confidence after a bad relationship (I've been there). I wish you all the luck in the world.
I've dated twice since the divorce 8 years ago. I said the heck with it. I take care of my kids cuz the mom has nothing to do with them. They are my life. I started working out to be around longer to take care of them. Plus I like when the son thinks of me as Superman or Superdad. I take either. No matter what or how much I trained, the ex showed no interest. But I'm good with it, I've got some great kids.0 -
No matter how long I work out I'll always think I'm disgusting. So if someone stared I would think negative of it.
And that's why you have a picture of your terrific back as a profile picture? Because you don't want to be stared at?
Also that runs along the same lines as men saying you want to be looked at if you are dressed sexy or revealing. I should be offended then by your statement?
I was making a point about those statements by echoing them in a context where they clearly don't apply.
Also, I've seen some people on this website go from overweight, to in shape, to hurting themselves with diet and exercise because getting fit didn't solve the self-hatred issues. I'd suggest that you might look into way where you can address those issues separately.
Nobody needs to feel like that.0 -
it depends if they think you are cute.....cute you get a pass.....creeper and your in trouble ....fine line between the two0
-
I read the article. I'm not happy being lumped in with rapists because I am a man. I was take the worst example from eery group then should all women be viewed as Lorena Bobbit or one of those teachers that were having sex with teen age boys. If someone saw me on the street they would see a pretty normal laid back guy. I look like that everyday.. Im friendly and don't see why I have to go out of my way to let anyone know I am there. The author talks about getting involved...he's nuts and will probably end up getting a beating or shot. Don't get me wrong I'll be observant and if it gets in anyway physical I'm in there. I'm not so sure if its rape culture or a culture of fear. There is enough scary **** out there...I don't want to have to eyeball everyone I see. Maybe I'm not taking the right approach to this but I consider myself a good and decent person. I will sometimes make off color comments or tell a dirty joke but I don't think that shold be how I am judged. I appreciate your views and may agree with some but not all of them.
I really think that you're personalizing something that's meant to inform - which is really easy to do. It must be hard to be a dude in a discussion like this - but that's why it's so important to try to understand what the point is.
Rape culture exists - and your OP is part of it, even though we know you ABSOLUTELY didn't mean to partake, it's such an ingrained habit for both men and women.
Your initial post was like "do girls mind if guys check them out? I think no, otherwise they'd work out somewhere else".
It looks like a perfectly innocuous statement - but the fact that there is a "somewhere else" to work out for women only and that that would enter your mind as a viable option to avoid ogling is part of the problem. There should be no ogling at all - and rather than thinking women would change gyms to avoid it, we should be suggesting men cut it out.
That's what rape culture is about - it's not about approving of rape, or thinking that every man is a rapist - it's about constantly putting the onus on women to change *their* behavior/reactions, instead of realizing that men need to change, too.
We teach little girls about modesty and how to make sure they are safe. We're not (generally) teaching boys about respecting girls no matter how they dress and what consent really means. We teach girls that when boys pick on them, the boy likes them - instead of teaching boys how to handle/express their emotions and girls to stand up for themselves when they are picked on.
It's just the way society is. And it's never going to change until everyone gets involved in the conversation - ESPECIALLY men.
I hope this makes sense.0 -
No matter how long I work out I'll always think I'm disgusting. So if someone stared I would think negative of it.
And that's why you have a picture of your terrific back as a profile picture? Because you don't want to be stared at?
Also that runs along the same lines as men saying you want to be looked at if you are dressed sexy or revealing. I should be offended then by your statement?
I was making a point about those statements by echoing them in a context where they clearly don't apply.
Also, I've seen some people on this website go from overweight, to in shape, to hurting themselves with diet and exercise because getting fit didn't solve the self-hatred issues. I'd suggest that you might look into way where you can address those issues separately.
Nobody needs to feel like that.
I've focused on my workouts more. I want something for me, instead just being dad. So competing in crossfit or strongman comps. keeps me occupied and fitness oriented instead of just doing it for how I look.0 -
This what I've heard: If women aren't attracted to you, yes it bothers them. If you're her type, she doesn't mind.
Oh dear, what a horrible, heteronormative and untrue statement this is.0 -
No matter how long I work out I'll always think I'm disgusting. So if someone stared I would think negative of it.
And that's why you have a picture of your terrific back as a profile picture? Because you don't want to be stared at?
Also that runs along the same lines as men saying you want to be looked at if you are dressed sexy or revealing. I should be offended then by your statement?
I was making a point about those statements by echoing them in a context where they clearly don't apply.
Also, I've seen some people on this website go from overweight, to in shape, to hurting themselves with diet and exercise because getting fit didn't solve the self-hatred issues. I'd suggest that you might look into way where you can address those issues separately.
Nobody needs to feel like that.
I've focused on my workouts more. I want something for me, instead just being dad. So competing in crossfit or strongman comps. keeps me occupied and fitness oriented instead of just doing it for how I look.
I run for the same reason. I stopped caring about any extra weight at mile 4 of my first 10k because my body was doing such an amazing thing.
Beyond the "everybody has value" thing, I looked at your profile. That, and the comments you've made on this thread, assure me that your ex's opinion doesn't have a lot to do with reality.0 -
This what I've heard: If women aren't attracted to you, yes it bothers them. If you're her type, she doesn't mind.
Oh dear, what a horrible, heteronormative and untrue statement this is.
Still not sure.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions