An open letter...
Replies
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Dear Mother Nature,
Thanks so much for the sunshine this morning.
I do realize that it is November and I am in Illinois, but the trick you pulled on us was not funny. Yesterday, we hit 71 degrees. Broke a record for the high temperature on November 22. This morning it was 19 degrees when I woke up. That was uncalled for.
Sincerely,
Frozen0 -
Dear persons living in the north,
I realize that this time of year brings trials and tribulations with respect to the weather, but some of us have been fortunate enough to move south, where the sun shines, and the weather is warm.
You might be expecting me to ask you to stop complaining and move to where it's warm, but I won't do that. Feel free to continue living in the frigid north, and complain all you want. We have enough people here that think they can drive in any weather just because they lived in the North.
If you do come south during the 3 days of winter, please don't go out on the road - you might be able to drive in snow, but you sure as heck can't drive on ice, no matter how experienced you think you are.
And if you're foolish enough to drive when it's 32 degrees and raining, make sure you read about, and understand, the concept of "black ice".
Sincerely,
warm and cozy, and able to play golf today.0 -
This content has been removed.
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Dear persons living in the north,
I realize that this time of year brings trials and tribulations with respect to the weather, but some of us have been fortunate enough to move south, where the sun shines, and the weather is warm.
You might be expecting me to ask you to stop complaining and move to where it's warm, but I won't do that. Feel free to continue living in the frigid north, and complain all you want. We have enough people here that think they can drive in any weather just because they lived in the North.
If you do come south during the 3 days of winter, please don't go out on the road - you might be able to drive in snow, but you sure as heck can't drive on ice, no matter how experienced you think you are.
And if you're foolish enough to drive when it's 32 degrees and raining, make sure you read about, and understand, the concept of "black ice".
Sincerely,
warm and cozy, and able to play golf today.
Dear warm & cozy
Be sure to emphasize EXTREME north next time - those of us crazy people that live in Iowa deal with everything, and we're still north of you. Every time I think about the fact that we will get as hot as 110 in the summer, and as cold as -40 in the winter, plus the ONLY type of weather system we don't deal with are hurricanes makes me wonder why anyone settled in this god-forsaken part of the world.
Sincerely
Why the frak do I live here again?
Dear Why the frak do I live here again,
Don't you live in Iowa for the scenery? HaHa!!!!
Sincerely,
Lives in Illinois, works in Iowa0 -
Dear Tuesday,
Must this battle go on? Some weeks you win, occasionally I win. If you will not allow me to leave the arena, will you please call a truce? I don't have the strength to fight you again.
Sincerely,
Humbly Defeated0 -
Dear persons living in the north,
I realize that this time of year brings trials and tribulations with respect to the weather, but some of us have been fortunate enough to move south, where the sun shines, and the weather is warm.
You might be expecting me to ask you to stop complaining and move to where it's warm, but I won't do that. Feel free to continue living in the frigid north, and complain all you want. We have enough people here that think they can drive in any weather just because they lived in the North.
If you do come south during the 3 days of winter, please don't go out on the road - you might be able to drive in snow, but you sure as heck can't drive on ice, no matter how experienced you think you are.
And if you're foolish enough to drive when it's 32 degrees and raining, make sure you read about, and understand, the concept of "black ice".
Sincerely,
warm and cozy, and able to play golf today.
Dear warm & cozy
Be sure to emphasize EXTREME north next time - those of us crazy people that live in Iowa deal with everything, and we're still north of you. Every time I think about the fact that we will get as hot as 110 in the summer, and as cold as -40 in the winter, plus the ONLY type of weather system we don't deal with are hurricanes makes me wonder why anyone settled in this god-forsaken part of the world.
Sincerely
Why the frak do I live here again?
Dear Why the frak do I live here again,
Don't you live in Iowa for the scenery? HaHa!!!!
Sincerely,
Lives in Illinois, works in Iowa
Dear Lives in Illinois, works in Iowa,
Doesn't that mean you have TWO reasons to complain?
Sincerely,
Lives in NC, works in NC, LOVES NC.0 -
Dear food,
Why do you have to taste so good yet be so bad. You spawn of Satan.
Signed
Man with Boobs
Dear Manboobs,
Why are you on my body. Am I that fat that there was no where else to go.
Heck if I shaved my chest, I could probably work at HOOTERS.
And seriously do you have to bounce so much when I brush my teeth.
Signed
Potential Man Bra customer.
:grumble:
hahahahaha oh that gave me a good laugh!0 -
Dear persons living in the north,
I realize that this time of year brings trials and tribulations with respect to the weather, but some of us have been fortunate enough to move south, where the sun shines, and the weather is warm.
You might be expecting me to ask you to stop complaining and move to where it's warm, but I won't do that. Feel free to continue living in the frigid north, and complain all you want. We have enough people here that think they can drive in any weather just because they lived in the North.
If you do come south during the 3 days of winter, please don't go out on the road - you might be able to drive in snow, but you sure as heck can't drive on ice, no matter how experienced you think you are.
And if you're foolish enough to drive when it's 32 degrees and raining, make sure you read about, and understand, the concept of "black ice".
Sincerely,
warm and cozy, and able to play golf today.
Dear warm & cozy
Be sure to emphasize EXTREME north next time - those of us crazy people that live in Iowa deal with everything, and we're still north of you. Every time I think about the fact that we will get as hot as 110 in the summer, and as cold as -40 in the winter, plus the ONLY type of weather system we don't deal with are hurricanes makes me wonder why anyone settled in this god-forsaken part of the world.
Sincerely
Why the frak do I live here again?
Dear Why the frak do I live here again,
Don't you live in Iowa for the scenery? HaHa!!!!
Sincerely,
Lives in Illinois, works in Iowa
Dear Lives in Illinois, works in Iowa,
Doesn't that mean you have TWO reasons to complain?
Sincerely,
Lives in NC, works in NC, LOVES NC.
Dear Lives in NC, works in NC, LOVES NC,
I'd complain, but I've done this to myself.
Sincerely,
Loved NC each time I visited0 -
Dear wii fit board,
I have no idea why you detest me so much. Seriously, I'm not killing you. when i step on you to get my weight, do you have to say "Ohhh" like i've done something wrong??? lol i mean, i'm working out with you daily, might want to be a little more supportive :P
Love,
the feet who step on you daily
I KNOW!!!! That "oohh" makes me feel so fat! You are supposed to be encouraging me! Not making me feel worse!
I almost didn't get a Wii because I knew if I did I'd have to buy the Wii Fit Plus and I was reading a thread on another board about this exact same thing and I'm pretty self conscious already but really...the voice is so cute I can't get mad at it!0 -
Dear wii fit board,
I have no idea why you detest me so much. Seriously, I'm not killing you. when i step on you to get my weight, do you have to say "Ohhh" like i've done something wrong??? lol i mean, i'm working out with you daily, might want to be a little more supportive :P
Love,
the feet who step on you daily
I KNOW!!!! That "oohh" makes me feel so fat! You are supposed to be encouraging me! Not making me feel worse!
I almost didn't get a Wii because I knew if I did I'd have to buy the Wii Fit Plus and I was reading a thread on another board about this exact same thing and I'm pretty self conscious already but really...the voice is so cute I can't get mad at it!
The trick is to step on it with your other foot - it doesn't always so 'oohh" if you alternate feet.0 -
Dear Mother Nature
I understand it's my choice to live in Alberta, and I know that I have been battling winter for almost 30 years now so I should be use to it...but do you have to be such a b!tch? Seriously, we had balmy weather until November 20th...then BAM! You hit us with 2 centimeters of snow, and -35 with the windchill...that's ridiculous! My BRAND NEW vehicle almost didn't start today, and it even has a block heater. So we all had to literally take a crash course in how to drive in this weather (thank god there's three lanes on the way to work, so i can hide out in the middle one going slow)...and to top it off, you're going to heat things up this weekend...which means everything is going to be sheer ice...i know we're polluters (i even drive and SUV) and you think we don't love you and care for you, but man are you trying to kill us all? either from frost bite or from car accidents? Not to mention that my son is going to lose his vocal chords soon, he can't be any more annoying because he can't go outside...first of all it's dark at 4:30 and my son's skin is no match for those frigid temperatures...i keep telling him to dress for the weather, but he's 8 and has informed me that he knows everything. In the future could you please be a little nicer? Give Paul in NC some of our weather, just so we can squeeze one more golf game in...or at least give me my motivation back, i've been hiding under blankets since you threw your b!tch fit...
Thanks for your consideration
Your humble yet cold and scared to drive servant...0 -
Give Paul in NC some of our weather
:laugh: :laugh:0 -
Dear Mother Nature
I understand it's my choice to live in Alberta, and I know that I have been battling winter for almost 30 years now so I should be use to it...but do you have to be such a b!tch? Seriously, we had balmy weather until November 20th...then BAM! You hit us with 2 centimeters of snow, and -35 with the windchill...that's ridiculous! My BRAND NEW vehicle almost didn't start today, and it even has a block heater. So we all had to literally take a crash course in how to drive in this weather (thank god there's three lanes on the way to work, so i can hide out in the middle one going slow)...and to top it off, you're going to heat things up this weekend...which means everything is going to be sheer ice...i know we're polluters (i even drive and SUV) and you think we don't love you and care for you, but man are you trying to kill us all? either from frost bite or from car accidents? Not to mention that my son is going to lose his vocal chords soon, he can't be any more annoying because he can't go outside...first of all it's dark at 4:30 and my son's skin is no match for those frigid temperatures...i keep telling him to dress for the weather, but he's 8 and has informed me that he knows everything. In the future could you please be a little nicer? Give Paul in NC some of our weather, just so we can squeeze one more golf game in...or at least give me my motivation back, i've been hiding under blankets since you threw your b!tch fit...
Thanks for your consideration
Your humble yet cold and scared to drive servant...
Dear Mother Nature,
The tornado-like conditions that you threw at us last night near St. Louis were not cool either. Seriously? Who worries about tornadoes in November??!!
Love,
Sleep deprived because of all the damn sirens going off all night0 -
Dear Self Centered Grandmother,
I understand that Pappaw passed away 4 years ago. Before he passed you were self sufficient and did everything for yourself. Now you have just given up also. If you do not change your ways, we are going to take the house away from you and put you in an assisted living facility.
Please don't call your daughter that lives 5 hours away and complain that no one pays attention to you and then have her ball us out about it.
Please stop complaining about the neighbor, your job, the fact you have no money (stop playing the lottery and you will). Stop saying you can't drive because there is no one in the seat next to you.
How on Earth do you think that myself and your daughter survive as we usually have no one to go with us. We jump in the car and take off.
Stop griping to everyone that will listen about how no one cares about you. We all care but you are just driving all the caring ones away.
Please call your son that lives 30 minutes from you and ask him to come do more than wax your car or brush your cat. Please take your cat to the vet yourself.
Stressed to the MAX,
Granddaughter
There are more but I feel better after posting the above... Thanks for whomever started this.
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Dear 12 year old son,
I know you asked me to go to the movies with your little girlfriend and I did say that I would think about it - I did not say YES and I never said WHEN. Next weekend is my weekend to do something. I work, cook, clean, and take care of you and your brother every day. I love you very much and enjoy doing this -you boys are my world - but mom needs a break too. Next weekend Dad and I are going out of town so your so called movie date will have to wait. Your too young to date anyway and I can already tell you exactly what's going to happen. I will end up going with you and you will pout because I won't let you see the movie you want to because it's R rated and not suitable for a 12 year old and then I will get stuck paying for not 1 but 3 movie tickets because you have no money - oh and lets not forget the extra $20 for drinks and popcorn. Why do I want to do this????
If you don't whine I will think about it...
Love,
Mom
Dear husband of five years (been together for 10)
Why do you insist on getting the rugs in the bathroom soaked every morning. I've explained that those rugs are for looks - not to wipe your feet on. They get wet and then MOLD will grow underneath them unless I (who does not have the time to do this every day) puts them in the dryer. Please wipe your feet with the towel as you are stepping out of the bath tub and not after you have soaked my rugs. Oh and please stop spitting on the mirror when you brush your teeth...
Love,
Tired of cleaning the bathroom after your done0 -
Dear Hubby,
Thanks for calling me on your lunch hour just to tell me that you love me. I know that your friend separating from his wife (again) because she's cheating on him (again) has you worried about him and relationships in general.
I'm sorry if I sounded out of breath. You caught me running on the treadmill.
I love you too. Oh and maybe you should invite your friend over for dinner Saturday?
Love,
Your faithful wife0 -
Dear Guy Yelling at Me out of the Car Window:
I appreciate the compliment, I think, but it's really not attractive to hang your head out of the window of a moving vehicle like a dog and scream uncomprehendable phrases out at the blonde girl skating down the street... it's just not.
Thanks,
I'm not a Golden Retriever.
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Dear Chocolate in my Fridge & Period in my Pants:
I hate you both. I REFUSE to give in, way too close to let myself slip up. You didn't help me LOOSE all them inches, I'm not letting you help me put them back on!!!
Sincerely,
Resisting Nature's Cravings
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Dear Guys at my Husband's Fight Gym:
Thank you for not being as dedicated and serious as my husband is about his nutrition and performance. Thank you for making comments about his progress. You just helped him become professional.
Thanks!
Really not mad at you, appreciate your failures.
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Dear my three daughters:
You know how you see Mommy and Daddy working out all the time? Well, we have these exercises called "wall squats" "deep lunges" and other types of plyometrics. And, when we get up at night to change you baby Zaiya and we step on one of the many little Brat shoes or Lincoln Logs your sisters left out, we go flying in the dark and in an attempt to soothe our burning foot, we reach down into a split feel a tremendous soreness in our buring leg muscels. How many times have I asked you to keep your toys IN YOUR ROOM and not scattered around my house waiting to kill me and your father? LOL
Just can't help but laugh. Nothing is funnier than making out with your husband and rolling over in your bed, right on a talking toy. HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAAAAA0 -
Dear All Chick fil a Restaurants:
I will not allow you to tempt me with your peppermint shakes, which are UNBELIEVABLE. So, you will not see me in any of your drive thru windows throughout the holidays!
Thanks,
Eat More Chikin0 -
Dear Guy that's bragging about living in North Carolina:
WHY would you think any place that has ICE would = nice weather??? Know how I'm spending Thansgiving this week? Swimming in the aqua blue ocean, that's clear enough to see the white sand on the bottom. The Outter Banks have NOTHING on Miami Beach, bikinis in November! Now stop taunting everyone or I'll taunt you !!! Haahhaa.
Love always,
Girl that has better weather than Mr. I Live to golf in NC!0 -
Dear Short Shorts Guy at the Gym,
I saw your junk. eeeeeeeeeeeewww It was touching the mat while you were stretching. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww. . :noway: You didn't even wipe the mat off. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww You had to have felt that... BLECH. :sick:
The the stunned girl carrying the exercise ball.
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Dear Slippery Sidewalk Girl,
I'm sorry I laughed when you ate *kitten* on the icy sidewalk today. I'm sorry I couldn't keep a straight face when I helped you up. Really though hunny, this is boot weather yes, just not pointy toed 4 inch stilletto boot weather. Again, glad you're not hurt and thanks for the laugh.
The girl in the Doc Martins.0 -
Dear Short Shorts Guy at the Gym,
I saw your junk. eeeeeeeeeeeewww It was touching the mat while you were stretching. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww. . :noway: You didn't even wipe the mat off. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww You had to have felt that... BLECH. :sick:
The the stunned girl carrying the exercise ball.
___________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Slippery Sidewalk Girl,
I'm sorry I laughed when you ate *kitten* on the icy sidewalk today. I'm sorry I couldn't keep a straight face when I helped you up. Really though hunny, this is boot weather yes, just not pointy toed 4 inch stilletto boot weather. Again, glad you're not hurt and thanks for the laugh.
The girl in the Doc Martins.
:laugh: oh man that's funny "you ate *kitten* on the icey sidewalk" and the fact that she was hearing high heels...thanx for that...and the junk on the matt...oh my crap that's funny0 -
Dear Girl that has better weather than Mr. I Live to golf in NC!
You're right. Ice isn't any fun (but we don't have it often).
And although the thought of living in Florida is tempting (golf year-round), there are some drawbacks to that too.
Here, I have the beach and the mountains within a couple of hours from my house. Granted, the mountains aren't the rockies, and the beaches aren't Hawaiian beaches, but it's home sweet home. (It's a long ways from Miami to any sort of hill, let alone the mountains)
The only reason I tuant those in the north, is because I lived there half my life. I spent 4 winters in the upper peninsula of Michigan, where we regrularly had 30 FEET of snow in a season. It wasn't bad when I was younger, but that was then.
Of course, untimately, we live where we work, or where our families are, or where we're planted. It's all good - my "taunting" is just an effort to make folks laugh (hmmm....I hope it doesn't make anyone cry)
Sincerely,
I hope everyone is happy where they are.0 -
Dear Self.
Do not eat papaya before your morning walk.
Okay? Thanks and don't do it again.0 -
Dear Short Shorts Guy at the Gym,
I saw your junk. eeeeeeeeeeeewww It was touching the mat while you were stretching. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwww. . :noway: You didn't even wipe the mat off. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww You had to have felt that... BLECH. :sick:
The the stunned girl carrying the exercise ball.
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Dear Slippery Sidewalk Girl,
I'm sorry I laughed when you ate *kitten* on the icy sidewalk today. I'm sorry I couldn't keep a straight face when I helped you up. Really though hunny, this is boot weather yes, just not pointy toed 4 inch stilletto boot weather. Again, glad you're not hurt and thanks for the laugh.
The girl in the Doc Martins.
Bwahahahahahahahaha............I just spit coffee all over my screen. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Dear Girl that has better weather than Mr. I Live to golf in NC!
You're right. Ice isn't any fun (but we don't have it often).
And although the thought of living in Florida is tempting (golf year-round), there are some drawbacks to that too.
Here, I have the beach and the mountains within a couple of hours from my house. Granted, the mountains aren't the rockies, and the beaches aren't Hawaiian beaches, but it's home sweet home. (It's a long ways from Miami to any sort of hill, let alone the mountains)
The only reason I tuant those in the north, is because I lived there half my life. I spent 4 winters in the upper peninsula of Michigan, where we regrularly had 30 FEET of snow in a season. It wasn't bad when I was younger, but that was then.
Of course, untimately, we live where we work, or where our families are, or where we're planted. It's all good - my "taunting" is just an effort to make folks laugh (hmmm....I hope it doesn't make anyone cry)
Sincerely,
I hope everyone is happy where they are.
Dear I hope everyone is happy where they are,
You did make me laugh. You did make me cry, but only because I'm jealous. I have visited the coast of NC many times and I should have applied to college there....
Sincerely,
I'd like to relocate to NC0 -
Dear Woman At The Gym Who Wears Light Grey Leggings and Does Deep Stretches,
Can you please either A) wear underwear or
wear a shirt longer than your butt? No one needs or wants to see all of your lady business that's going on, especially when you're sweating. That's just gross.
Signed,
Nauseous
Dear Woman at the Gym Who Wears Light Grey Leggings and Does Deep Stretches.....and her hubby the underpantsless guy
Please wear some sort of supportive undergarment. When you wear thin cotton shorts and have ...shall we call them "issues" after you get off each machine it is a bit distrubing and distracting to others. I don't need to know what religion you practice through your shorts.
Signed the lady stuck on the rowing machine while you were doing all kinds of Ab exercises etc on the bench right in front of the rowing maching0 -
They don't have a change counting machine?
God forbid we actually expect people to count without a machine? Whooo... high expectations in the United States!0 -
Dear Woman At The Gym Who Wears Light Grey Leggings and Does Deep Stretches,
Can you please either A) wear underwear or wear a shirt longer than your butt? No one needs or wants to see all of your lady business that's going on, especially when you're sweating. That's just gross.
Signed,
Nauseous
Dear Woman at the Gym Who Wears Light Grey Leggings and Does Deep Stretches.....and her hubby the underpantsless guy
Please wear some sort of supportive undergarment. When you wear thin cotton shorts and have ...shall we call them "issues" after you get off each machine it is a bit distrubing and distracting to others. I don't need to know what religion you practice through your shorts.
Signed the lady stuck on the rowing machine while you were doing all kinds of Ab exercises etc on the bench right in front of the rowing maching
OMG That's so damn funny...i re-read the one with the guys junk on the matt so i was already laughing...and then I read yours...and now i'm laughing even harder...hahhaaa oh god that's so funny...i'm so sorry for your trauma but that just made my day :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Dear guy driving on the shoulder of the road as I am running down it,
First the white lines on the road are the one you need to stay between - you do not cross them and you do not drive on the shoulder coming straight at a pedestrian jogging. Second, I had on running shorts, a hoodie, earphones and RUNNING SHOES - that should be a giant clue that yeah I am out for a jog and NO I do not need a ride and NO I am not lost. Please don't stop me again or I will get your license plate and call the police.
Sincerely,
Leave me alone when I am out jogging0
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